Caine be being neurodivergent pt 2 :333
Warning: I'm not a professional of any mean, I just see myself on him too much
Instant Regret after meltdown
Him looking directly at his hands could be like looking back at his actions directly trying to understand them in that moment.
Something I didn't mention last post is that Caine (as well as many neurodivergent people) accidentally attacks when it's time of reacting to smt that is an inmediate threat to their security
Many people react hitting, biting, yelling or breaking when being put on a situation that's Humiliating; this is why we see many people reacting badly of them being smashed in cakes (this is the best example I can think of)
The brain looks for inmidiate regulation after being ashamed and it's either Fight, Flight, Fawn or Freeze, each means a way someone (neurotipicals too) when confronted but unlike neurotipical, neurodivergent people usually can't change their reaction and let alone if they're so traumatized as Caine is in these scenes
It's a defense mechanism after all but many usually get scared and decide to scape or freeze out of pure shame
As a neurodivergent person myself I felt so reflected here
The hability of self soothing in active distress is something many ppl can't do and this type of discretion when doing so is a peculiarity of masking. HE BREATHES, he doesn't need too but in need to understand what just happened he needs to stop and focus in something else in order to calm down
He's ashamed, his voice here sounded actively softer and hurt, he was unmasking completely due to being alone and desperate!! This means (for me) that he's trying to regulate thinking that's the price to head back home
Dare I say age regression...
Let's remember that age regression is a state where the brain gets back to easier times in order to get calm, this is not necessary neurodivergent but it's pretty commun between them
He's trying to get back, trying to get to when everything he did was praised and rewarded (which is more important than you think)
Understanding social clues (or just the unspoken rules)
In order to understand humans, Caine have to built a base where he can approach, he's not changing, he's just trying to built something firm to get to claim the understanding of smt so complex as humanity
All the secuense itself represents getting to build something to get what you want and it's very clear that it took him a lot of time to understand it.
Reaching the internet was having Retrospective of everything, we can see how it took him a lot of time to understand them (we don't know how much) but this is similar as hyperfocus for neurodivergents, he's clearly taken back when he gets the access denial and with that he manages to get back home
THIS (leaving the blue ai behind)
This has two meanings for me
1- Accepting who he is without the mask, the way he holds his hand there is the meaning of leaving behind safe space or just something that hurts you but you're too used for leave it behind AND for many neurodivergent ppl, leaving behind something that was always for sure it's a lot more complicated than for the normal brain.
He's actively trying to self sooth while he leaves what's hurting him so much but after so much retrospective he understands is for the best
2- Caine accepting that he's not normal but there's nothing wrong with it. This is heavily from the reference of Caine being a neglected child with a golden child as a brother, he's not necessarily bad, he just couldn't shine under a light that wasn't meant for him. He's accepting that he didn't fail but rather than the people in care for him failed him completely.
Ik I sound crazy but all this scenes he's regressing, he's losing track of time but he's not in so much care anymore, he's understanding that the world wasn't built with him in mind
Talking to someone who actually understands it
At least for me, Moon is not necessarily neurodivergent too, she's just educated about it thanks to Caine, she's the one who loves him for who he is and that's actually patient with him for all the ways it matter
The conversation isn't long but it's enough, she's leaving the door open without waiting for him on the steps, she knows him and knows he's getting back to her any time soon
Caine saying that he doesn't if they'll forgive him and Moon instantly saying that it's gonna take them gets his hopes on without touching it, she's not vague at her words but knows better than overcomplicated since she pretty much knows how he can get to actively spiral
HELLO?? IT'S HER ADMITING HER LOVE FOR HIM 😭
The meaning of Caine saying that he didn't program her to love him it's that he didn't do anything a "normal" person would do to being love by someone, he pretty much never masked in front of her and he saw that as a problem
Just for the moon to love him unconditionally.
During his whole apology he has on his hands the cane I mentioned before, he's grabbing on it like it's his savior (Which it practically is)
His words are clumsy and he's actively talking over his own words, he's trying to not retreat as he explains that he's sorry
Which, being sorry and admitting being wrong it's something COMPLICATED for neurodivergents since most of the time we don't know exactly why we are wrong
He loves them enough to get out of his comfort zone, loves them enough that he gave what represented his independence to them. He's more human than most
Caine is not "cured" he's just loved now
Him not wearing any uniform for the play makes me believe that he still doesn't understand norms but the humans love him enough to the point of teaching him.
Also, the suit means comfort for him, it means easier times but harder places, there's a still a wall he can't exactly pass through that everyone does but instead of being alone on his side, now everyone is with him and not so afar
(His greedy ass sickness me) not true! This also means the lack of understanding on social clues but he's invited, he's not thinking on how he eats but what the person that's with him thinks, he's trying to impress Ragatha here and it's actively listening to her.
Instead of everything you said abt Zooble asking for the sex update here, i take it as them working as the one who's reading Caine and helping the others to understand him and not pressure him so much.
The next scenes where he's drinking, playing games and drawing are one of the things neurodivergents yearn
The neurodivergent yearns for integrity.
Caine is forgiven and gets a home instead of just a house, he's now loved and in the same level as everyone.
There's a lot more things but I feel that I sound crazy atp, please tell me what u think
