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[ivysaurous]

getting this text out of the blue 😍😍😍

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I'm a giant sex germ

Cassie Vaughan, March 2016

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#DinglehoppersRuleForksDrool

Brianna, March 2016

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Kid: I've got sidebrowns! Me: Those are called sideburns Kid: Hashbrowns

Kiddo and Miranda Hicks, March 2016

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I hate being under Jamie. He's rough.

Alec Running, February 2016

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This is not the DJ Khaled of naps, you can't have another one

Luke Brown, January 2016

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I am face-smashingly understandable

Luke Brown, January 2016

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I'd pee in the shower if I had to

Emma Howard, January 2016

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Why are your nipples, like, going so ham?

Michael Davis, December 2015

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Guilty party, table of one

Miranda Hicks, December 2015

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If we could just take Canada and put it near the equator, I would live there

Miranda Hicks, November 2015

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If my hair was food, I could end world hunger

Miranda Hicks, November 2015

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Wrench, bring some drinks for my friends!

James Prince, November 2015

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I was hired at the end of Julune

Roz (aka Grandma Nathan), November 2015

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We can go to a synagogue for the annual Cherry Cokemitzvah. It's when the Jews are let out of the desert and given a Cherry Coke to celebrate. And then there's Pepsica; that's when Moses brought down the tablets from Mount Dewinai.

Brian The Thurlow, November 2015

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The Hyman Centipede 3 is out!

Miranda Hicks & Alex Shelton, November 2015

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BALL SPRINKLES!

Andy Bungert, October 2015