I make things sometimes.

22, evolving, Pisces, Brrrrrrrrrr

[wheel-skellington]

want someone to brush my hair

[wheel-skellington]

and also a colt single action

[wheel-skellington]

hierarchy of needs

[koredemolition]

@ivysaurthecreative

[ivysaurthecreative]

what kind of finish you want on the gun

[valtsv]

found family but every member is from a different kind of found family dynamic

[valtsv]

"this is my actual brother, this is my bestie from since we were kids, this is the grumpy old man who cries when i call him "dad", this is my friend who i have homoerotic tension with that neither of us will acknowledge except when we almost die, this is my former sworn nemesis who teamed up with me once to get back at a mutual enemy and has stuck around ever since (they still claim it's against their will and they're only staying for my ma's spaghetti recipe she passed down to me, but last week they gave me a hug before stabbing me so we're making progress), this is my sentient weapon that makes fun of me when we fight, this is the weird creature we found in the trash that spits fireballs sometimes, and also the regular ordinary human guy that fell in there while we were checking it out."

[koredemolition]

I have 3 of these soon I'll have them all

[ivysaurthecreative]

[ivysaurthecreative]

Today's Vibe: Exhausted immortal who's lost touch with their emotions sees a man hugging his daughter and is happy that someone in the world can experience something his whole life is devoid of.

And then tries to fill that hole with tequila.

[prokopetz]

Video game that’s nonstop blood-soaked carnage from title screen to credits roll with maybe a dozen lines of dialogue in that entire span, but it’s advertised as a heartwarming tale of the power of friendship triumphing over adversity because you can pet the protagonist’s dog.

[ivysaurthecreative]

This us just a Doom x Isabelle crossover game.

Except Doom finally says words and its only angrily spouted memes

[customretrodesign]

Custom built and full working classic computer setup

Fully functioning webcam speakers and Morse code styled mouse. Nixie clock within the typewriter

[ivysaurthecreative]

who pp do I have to SU—

[ivysaurthecreative]

To the three eyed cat this may concern,

Would you please stop trying to break into my room and steal the electrical impulses emanating from my body?

[ivysaurthecreative]

Currently my vibe is wondering if I should return to the woods and become one with the trees to pay for secret debts with my body so that my soul may take refuge elsewhere in the afterlife for the destruction that awaits it.

Or just making coffee.

[addictude]

Let’s make a 5 course meal

[ivysaurthecreative]

say less I'm putting on my apron now

[ivysaurthecreative]

Currently my vibe is wondering if I should return to the woods and become one with the trees to pay for secret debts with my body so that my soul may take refuge elsewhere in the afterlife for the destruction that awaits it.

Or just making coffee.

[depsidase]

[gauntletqueen]

[doubleca5t]

[ivysaurthecreative]

This reminds me, there was a Dutch or french Field medic in ww2 that held off 100+ Japanese soldiers BY HIMSELF to save his patients. Soldiers returned to medical tent where the initial attack happened and found the man slumped over dead amongst 100 something bodies and a machine gun.

That, is the origin of the Harmacist profession.

[fieropasto-deactivated20210613]

may have found the funniest possible thing ever in this essay on medieval sex laws im reading hold on

[fieropasto-deactivated20210613]

From Law, Sex, and Christian Society in Medieval Europe by James A. Brundage

[rouge-wall-enthusiast]

Heres a handy little calendar for getting frisky with you wife, who got her astoundingly regular period on your wedding day, Friday, January 1, 2021!

Remember this is just a baseline- double check the flowchart before, during and probably after intercourse. 

[kaz2y5tiel]

Cross-checking this against the liturgical calendar of feast days for 2021, you are permitted sex on the following days, provided all the other requirements are met:

Jan 11, 14, 18, 19

Feb 9, 15, 16

Apr 12, 15, 19, 20, 22

May 11, 17

June 7, 8, 10, 14, 15, 17

July 8, 12, 19

Aug 3, 31

Sep 2, 6, 7

Oct 21, 25, 26

[koredemolition]

@ivysaurthecreative mark your calendar

[ivysaurthecreative]

I...aight I'm marking I'm marking

[ankle-beez]

THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

[ivysaurthecreative]

the animation team was way too prepared to model an army of crazed furby's

[normal-horoscopes]

The Signs and Love III:

Aries: You love like a rollercoaster, full of change and energy, vibrating at high velocity and responsible for a not small amount of deaths every year.

Taurus: You love like a mother, but not in a creepy way. You love like a spider mom. Constantly bursting with sacs of love.

Gemini: You love calmly. Perhaps too calmly. Your heart hasnt beat in years. Your blood moves slowly as the world rockets by.

Cancer: You love like a warship. You are a steady, nigh-unsinkable thing, but explosive if hit in the stern.

Leo: You love like a flock of wild parrots that learned to crave human flesh. Just good enough at talking to trick someone into letting you eat them alive.

Virgo: Your love is a D&D game turned fistfight. Catharsis. 

Libra: You had an unrequited crush and so you became the unrequited crush. All of them. You forgot what you look like under so many layers of tanned skin.

Scorpio: Your love is like a new set of art pens, the potential to paint with every color of the wind or more specifically these 16 colors of the wind. You get the job done.

Ophiuchus: You love like the small child in the supermarket concealing a firecracker under her raincoat. You are quite clever, but in a property damage kidna way.

Sagittarius: You are two power bottoms duct taped together at the spine to generate the worlds first perpetual motion machine. Infinite power.

Capricorn: You love like an escaped panther. This aint your comfort zone, not by a long shot, but when has that ever stopped you?

Aquarius: The Lesbian Antlers. 

Pisces: You love like an asexual samurai. You’re just here for the swords and if it become a problem, you have a sword.

[koredemolition]

@ivysaurthecreative I said no more swords at d&d games we fist fight

[ivysaurthecreative]

okay but you didn't say no really big knives, I brought two to make it even

[prettypositivity]

someone out there feels better because you exist

[koredemolition]

@sapphicshart @ivysaurthecreative

[ivysaurthecreative]

yeppers

[ivysaurthecreative]

Peculiar Gods.

The Helmsman.

Backstory:

The Helmsman was once a mortal sailor who transported and smuggled goods across his home planet's deadly ocean's. The opaque waters were riddled with immense and aggressive beasts, and the skies constantly filled the ocean with unpredictable storms and tides of all manner. Despite all of this though the transporter managed to get both crew and cargo safely to their destination.

He drifted skillfully in between the storms and around the leviathans territories, mapping each new route for his fellow sailors along the way. In doing so he became beloved by the sailors he worked with and around, even being appreciated by pirates and bandits. However when wars broke out all over the world, it left him in a state of disarray.

All manner of peoples, indigenous and otherwise were begging for freedom and safety as their homes were razed and dubbed casualties of war by warring city-states. Finally the sailor recognized his abilities on the ocean and decided to lend his help where he could for as long as he could. He and other sailors burned their copies of his maps and used the fear of governments as cover to get people facing genocide to safety. The mysterious sailor continued with this practice even while on the verge of death. And for a life of selflessness and taking in the weak and terrified, he was granted godhood.

[ivysaurthecreative]

(Sike I, I lied.)

The Helmsman is the Patron god of: The Oceans, the Lost or Disenfranchised and the homeless, sailors, lost cultures.

The Helmsman takes his prayers by way of letters. The method he has chosen for his followers in writing and burning a letter to him. The ashes and the offering will across the winds until finally they meet the Helmsman's ears, and he will send a correspondence while you sleep.

Worship for the Helmsman is forbade at temples, as he doesn't like them. Instead worship and prayer to and for the Helmsman is to happen in caves facing/near the ocean, beaches, a cliff over looking a body of water, Lighthouses, and of course on a ship in the ocean.

Offering the Helmsman accepts are normally any kind of currency from the country you're currently in, or something with cultural value equal to the currency you might have with you.

Finally, the Helmsman has been alive long enough to have more than a single title, however the ones he prefers are as follows: The Great Navigator, and the Calm of the Tides.

[grenade-maid]

Whenever I see someone refer to “Victorian era-” for places outside the UK I’m tempted to start saying shit like “Han Dynasty era Rome”, “Soviet era Australia” etc

[distracted-from-writing-deactiv]

This is an issue that really bothers me as a historian, so I curated this little list that, as far as I am aware, are the accurate names and dates for the different aesthetic movements/time periods in different countries

Dates: roughly 1837-1901 (The Reign of Queen Victoria)

Victorian Era (UK, Canada, Australia (British Empire))

Antebellum (America 1830-1864)/ Reconstruction (1865-1877)/ “The Guilded Age” (1877-1901)

Isabelino (Spain 1833-1868) /Alfonsino (1874-1885)

La Belle Epoque “The Golden Age” (France)

National Romatiska (Sweden 1880-1920)

Meiji Period (Japan)

Xianfang (China 1831-1861)/Tongzhi (1861-1875)/Guangxu (1875-1908)

Era Witorianska (Poland)

Tanzimat (Ottoman Empire)

Qajar (Iran)

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Honestly I wish we would start doing this, at the very least in a tongue and cheek way, because it’s very easy to have a disjointed idea of history rather than remembering it all happened at the same time.

[ivysaurthecreative]

many thanks for this, these are all eras that I wanna research properly so I can know the difference now

[ivysaurthecreative]

Peculiar Gods.

The Helmsman.

Backstory:

The Helmsman was once a mortal sailor who transported and smuggled goods across his home planet's deadly ocean's. The opaque waters were riddled with immense and aggressive beasts, and the skies constantly filled the ocean with unpredictable storms and tides of all manner. Despite all of this though the transporter managed to get both crew and cargo safely to their destination.

He drifted skillfully in between the storms and around the leviathans territories, mapping each new route for his fellow sailors along the way. In doing so he became beloved by the sailors he worked with and around, even being appreciated by pirates and bandits. However when wars broke out all over the world, it left him in a state of disarray.

All manner of peoples, indigenous and otherwise were begging for freedom and safety as their homes were razed and dubbed casualties of war by warring city-states. Finally the sailor recognized his abilities on the ocean and decided to lend his help where he could for as long as he could. He and other sailors burned their copies of his maps and used the fear of governments as cover to get people facing genocide to safety. The mysterious sailor continued with this practice even while on the verge of death. And for a life of selflessness and taking in the weak and terrified, he was granted godhood.

[ivysaurthecreative]

Currently thinking about fleshing out a pantheon of deities for dnd and other memey purposes because why not