Ivy’s Basement

Things you'll see here is GoodOmens,BBC Merlin,ObeyMe,Heartstopper,Hannibal (series)

[ivythebrokebxtch]

I was not here for quite a while but WHAT HAPPENED?!?!??!?

FIRST THING I SEE WHEN I OPENED THE APP WAS A PAIRE OF TITS AND OTHER SEXUAL THINGS HUUUHHH????

Half of my feed is boobs and I don't know how to feel about that.

[ivythebrokebxtch]

What happened in S2 E6 in a nutshell:

Aziraphale : Crowley , you love me, right?

Crowley : Normally I’d say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere I won’t like.

[ivythebrokebxtch]

Crowley : I’m not lazy, I just find it hard to put effort into things I’m not passionate about.

Aziraphale : What are you passionate about?

Crowley : Sleeping.

[ivythebrokebxtch]

Crowley : Damn, the power went out.

Aziraphale : Don’t worry, I got this.

Aziraphale : *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*

Crowley : What-?

Aziraphale : I swallowed a glow stick!

Crowley , on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

[ivythebrokebxtch]

I have a headcannon for the whole Aziraphale leaving and stuff

Spoiler for s2 if u haven't watched it

When Gabriel came to the bookshop and was kinda interrogated by Aziraphale he said something bad is about to happen to him was that about the whole mess just him not wanting to be put in a lower class or because he was controlled from the start and now that Aziraphale help him escape with Beelzibub now they want to use Aziraphale as a replacement

That's why Metatron came after him because he would have decline the other angels but not him because he looked up at him and he thought he will get finally validation from heaven

But we all know by now Metatron has more then "good" intentions

[ivythebrokebxtch]

WHY DID I GO ON AO3 AND FOUND A "separated husbands" HASTAG PLS I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD LAUGH OR CRY

I AM BEWILDERED AND SPEECHLESS

[ivythebrokebxtch]

Merlin: God, give me patience.

Arthur: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Merlin: If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

[ivythebrokebxtch]

Merlin: *Stubs their toe* FUCK!

Arthur: Mind your language!

Merlin: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Arthur:

Merlin: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

[ivythebrokebxtch]

*Merlin and Arthur skipping stones on lake*

Merlin: It’s such a beautiful evening.

Arthur, whispering: Take that you fucking lake

[ivythebrokebxtch]

Merlin: catch!

Arthur: wh?! *catches the apple at looks at him shocked*

Merlin: what? I mean it *told him he’ll get him smt to snack on after he ends his chores*

Arthur: u do? *remembers what Morgana told him about Greek myths*

Next day

Uther in complete despair: now I proclaim u husband and husband

Arthur smiling with tears in his eyes

Merlin fucking confused but not complaining

Morgana and Gwen looking smug in the background

The Greek myth in question I was inspired of

[ivythebrokebxtch]

after Arthur returns

Merlin : I’m proud to identify as morosexual. I’m attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. Someone asked me what the Spanish word for "tortilla" was once, and now I dream of kissing them under the moonlight.

Arthur: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?

Merlin , already taking off their clothes: God, Arthur, you’re so fucking stupid.

[ivythebrokebxtch]

Merlin : Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Merlin : *glares at Arthur*

Arthur: Well, sorry I have morals!