I Want To Be A Girl So Badly

I'm Ashley, I'm a transgender MtoF, and this is my blog!

[tempestic-deactivated20141126]

[bigbouquetgirl-deactivated20170]

…I need breasts just to do this

[lillyleaks]

mee to. and that bra.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

So do I.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

why haven't you posted again lately?

My dog died recently. It’s been incredibly hard to process the whole thing. It’s one thing to endure the initial blow, but quite another thing to deal with everything else that lingers afterwards. I come home and it feels profoundly empty. She used to sleep with me too, so not having that presence has thrown me off. I’ll wake up and check if she’s scratching the door, only to realize I’m not going to hear that sound anymore. It really, *really* bums me out.

A week ago I had the chance to do a test run with another dog that was up for adoption. I sincerely had high hopes that taking care of another dog in need would help me, and this dog, feel better. And yet, the minute I took her in, I felt what I can only compare to postpartum depression. Extremely sad, no attachment whatsoever to the dog, guilty that she was stuck with me for three days, etc. I felt like I had made huge mistake.

Thankfully, the previous owner understood and told me that she could take her back. I’m somewhat relieved, but very anxious these days. I’m more than willing to talk to people here, but I’m just too on edge to post anything “hot” right now. Sex is just not on mind. But, like I said, I’m willing to keep in touch with anybody here, because I really need the support.

[ladvsgaga]

Sept. 20, 2015 // Lady Gaga attends the 67th Emmy Awards in Los Angeles, CA.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

y’know, man.. this is how i like lady gaga to look. this is a proper look.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

Any love for St Vincent/Cara Delevigne?

Yes! Very happy for them but -- Kristen Stewart and her girlfriend are my absolute fave!

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

So where are you living right now?

In my head.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

Ask away

http://iwanttobeagirlsobadly.tumblr.com/ask

[ophidahlia]

Caitlyn Jenner Admits To Not Being Totally Down With Gay Marriage

In a pre-taped interview for 'Ellen,' Caitlyn Jenner discusses her thoughts on gay marriage.

She’s openly anti-sex work, hella classist, homophobic, and generally all about those conservative republican values. She’s super out of touch with the trans community and has honestly no idea what’s going on, but is nevertheless setting herself up to be some kind of representative. It’s like, when she said on her show that she was the new normal *I gagged* because the only thing normal about her is that she’s a trans woman.

I’m *exhausted* from having to defend a rich white republican because society is using her as a proxy for all trans women. Especially when there are so very very many trans women who are also sex workers, in poverty, and lesbian/bi/pan/queer and she’s just shitting on us.

There’s no excuse for her not educating herself; she certainly has the time, the comfort, and the connections to put a lot of energy into doing that work. I had a lot to learn when I came out last year, we all did, but it’s her choice to stay sheltered behind her class privilege while the rest of us are trying to survive on street level.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

A couple of months ago someone asked me why I didn’t like her being pushed as the face of the trans community at all.

This is fucking why.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

wide open

http://iwanttobeagirlsobadly.tumblr.com/ask

ask me anything.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

but you post pictures of pretty girls all the time without their consent...

Yeah because I’m a hypocrite who is good with words sometimes. What else is new?

[naughtynanzhu]

I wish I was pretty but like actually pretty, not “my friends and family think I’m pretty because they’re my friends and family” pretty

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

Most people who reblog stuff like this don’t realize just how liberating it is to not be be super fucking attractive. To just be normal and not noticeable in a world full of people taking pictures and video all the time. To not find yourself being posted on some random blog dedicated to pretty girls without your consent; your picture being passed around as some sort of commodity for guys to ogle before they swipe or scroll down to the next picture. To not have to deal with a thousand and one catcalls a day from strangers who are far, far from being ideal gentlemen. Being able to go to a party without having to hear, “Hey baby, hey, can I buy you a drink? Hey, you want to come over to our table?” on a constant loop until you realize that you rather be at home in sweats looking considerably less pretty. Appreciating that friends and family think you are pretty because they really are your family and your friends.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

so you won't talk about transgender issues?

I’ll talk about them, but in private. Mostly.

I would never, except under pain of death, go into a one thousand note thread to pitch my two cent into a void that’ll most probably spit a bullet back at me.

No, I really rather leave the activism to people who sincerely think it prudent to gnaw at the air.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

what do you think of Tumblr activism/SJW/etc?

I don’t like a lot of that.

I remember back in HS when we were studying English poets, and when we got to Pope, there was an essay/poem of his that had a couplet with the line:

“A little learning is a dangerous thing.”

And I’ll be damned if that wasn’t fucking true.

I feel that most Tumblr activists are people who have only learned little, or very little, about very complex problems, and create these huge echo chambers where it’s just reblog after reblog of the same people agreeing over and over with each other, who then believe that the sheer number of reblogs means that they are right, and who then believe that that’s a warp. And, you know, sometimes they do have some valid points, but I also see people taking some very extreme positions, and taking advantage of the number of followers they have to completely shut down someone who might, just might, have a different approach, or a complaint, or what have you. Sure, there are trolls out there who deserve fuck all, but sometimes there is a person who really wants to discuss something, and he or she has to face the wrath of a couple popular bloggers, and the thousands of followers who are like “Deal with it, bitch!” because group think is a hell of a drug.

I’ll use my blog to help someone who needs it. That’s it. If you want to discuss complex issues with me, take me out and fuck me after because I’ll need that after a nice long chat and a couple of drinks.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

do you enjoy sucking cock and do you swallow cum? Do you swallow your own cum also?

Yes.

Depends whose cum.

No, never had much interest in my own.

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

and i love this gif.

[lesbiblogger]

As if Kristen Stewart wasn’t hot enough already!

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]

[iwanttobeagirlsobadly]