I Was Born Into This Life Cause I'm Strong Enough

I set up this blog because yesterday (12.08.13) I was diagnosed with IBD Ulcerative Colitis at 17 years old. I am an expressive person, with twitter, fb accounts, but I didn't want to share how I feel everyday for all of my friends and family to see. Lets face it, nothing is good about this disease and I don't want to appear like an attention seeker or want the sympathy. Here, however I feel it is safe. This is a blog about my time with UC, and hopefully others out there with IBD can share in experiences and emotions. Share in the embarrassing moments and appreciate the strength we all have as individuals to go through the pain everyday. We are fighters!!

[iwasgiventhislife]

So, sometimes I feel guilty about using my illness as a means to an end. Extension on work, first choice on accommodation, excuse of missing a uni lecture when really I just slept in. However, a close friend once told me ‘you are living with a chronic illness, one that is frustrating, a liability to your plans, the bane of your life...you have to have some perks that others without your illness don’t get. I guess these perks make living with it more bearable, so do it, and give no fucks about what others might say.’ 

- so, basically, if you also feel guilty on occasions, stop. You deserve the perks, enjoy them.

[wnq-writers]

we’re all a little in love, aren’t we? someone will always make our lips twitch as we fight back that incoming smile. someone will always make our eyes twinkle and make them look like stars for a moment. someone will always make us shiver, make the hairs on the back of our necks rise, from the touch of their fingertips. someone will always give us blissfulness that sometimes won’t even last a minute, but oh man, it will make us think that forty-two seconds of happiness is enough to last us a lifetime. someone will always make our eyes water just from the beauty of their words as they whisper them in our ears. someone will always make us think twice about the color of dark brown eyes; like the color of hot chocolate that gives us warmth in a rainy afternoon, like the color of the sky just as the blackness of it meets the goldness of the fading day, like the bottom of the sea, like the color of mercury, venus, mars, and jupiter mixed together. i hope you’ve met that someone. i hope that they light the match you’ve been holding out to people for too long. i hope they look at you like the universe is right in front of them, and i hope you look at them just the same because my god, we all deserve that. i hope they make your heart tingle. i hope once you’ve found them, you realize it. i hope it’s not too late. because when i did, he didn’t. so the wind blew him into the arms of another.

19–98 (via wnq-writers)

[bemynightingale]

REPEAT AFTER ME: ‘My current situation is not my final destination’

quote i stumbled across a few days ago and can’t get out of my head it’s so important (via bemynightingale)

[iwasgiventhislife]

Hate cancelling plans because of this crappy illness. I feel people think that I just can’t be bothered, and the truth is I would give anything to go worry free.

[iwasgiventhislife]

My own lyrics about a relationship that is breaking down.

[iwasgiventhislife]

You brought the light to me.

Do you know what you’ve brought here? In these walls, is where the dark grows. It isn’t me that made the fog clear Living in shadows is not the life I chose  

But you, you made it through to me Crossed over the bridge of insecurity Now, I hope you realise with sincerity You brought the light to me.

[icecream-eaterrr]

I just heard this woman say “you procrastinate because you are afraid of rejection. It’s a defense mechanism, you are trying to protect yourself without even trying.” and I think I just realized what was wrong with me.

[eupheme-butterfly]

Yep, this is a very, very common reason for procrastinating.  It’s also why procrastination, even though it’s often associated with laziness, is a fairly common trait in a lot of people with anxiety and perfectionism issues.

[icecream-eaterrr]

The perfectionism issue part i read in a book called “Steal Like An Artist”, i agree with everything you said

[iwasgiventhislife]

It was a challenge and a struggle, but I have finally finished my first year at uni!!

[thewritingsofsavannahblack-blog]

i’ve passed on many opportunities to be loved out of fear that who i truly am is just not enough.

Savannah Black (via thewritingsofsavannahblack)

[iwasgiventhislife]

I decided to write a poem...

"Just Friends" He held onto me as though it was the end, that's when it dawned we were no longer 'just friends.' A collection of montages from the past, and it showed nothing of love but a friendship that last. It was unexpected but predicted. Close ones saw not the friendly laughter we so believably shared, but two lovers who waited for the other to dare. When asked 'what are we?', response 'just friends.', it seemed to him there was nothing to mend. Though, now I understand, as we stand hand in hand. My friend, he was shy, was reluctant to try. In the silence, under the cold sheets, we were never alone, yet would never meet. I am the girl that would wait and wait, whilst the guy is left to hesitate. It was easier to deny, it was easy to be mates, those unspoken thoughts we left to fate. Now, it is clear, we are an 'us' not an 'I'. Next time people ask 'what are you?', take a step back and know 'just friends' is one way that dreamers often lie.

[howtobesadforever]

I know I’m just a single page in your book of life, but just promise me you won’t rip me out

I want to be important enough to be remembered (via howtobesadforever)

[iwasgiventhislife]

It has taken three months to be reunited with my sister but she finally came on my birthday :)

[iwasgiventhislife]

This is the one birthday I don't really want. I wish I could stay 18 forever :( Never mind, I am now 19 and surrounded by the best friends and family I could wish for!! At least I can have a night out without feeling guilty, birthdays = excuses :)

[mydarkeuphoria-deactivated20190]

[bernadettelogue]

It’s better to be slapped by the truth than kissed with a lie.

TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)

[iwasgiventhislife]

I'm not sure if that post about feeling worthless was from yesterday or today. But I wanted to let you know that you are truly beautiful on the inside and out. And you are not the tests, diagnosis, or the pain you feel. You are worth so much more than that. You are a person of extreme worth and value and you are a survivor. The way you are feeling is okay. But please don't forget that you are not your disease. And you are an inspiration to so many people. Please don't give up. Spoonie hugs💜

Are you trying to make me cry? haha. Thank you so much, this community is so lovely, like a long lost family that find each other and more everyday :) The same words apply to you, we will keep going together!! These messages instantly put a smile on my face, just don't expect them from anyone, so thank you!! Spoonie hug returned xx

[iwasgiventhislife]

I have drunk so much recently, I really need to stop.