Nirvana: A Rock Lee Tale (Chapter 5)
Summary: Your dating life is terrible. Your friendsâ marriage is fantastic. Your career as a medic is doing great, though. But you arenât happy. However, after one quick trip to the Mighty Rock Dojo, you stumble upon the most magnificent man youâve ever met- the taijutsu master- Rock Lee.
Notes: slow burn fic, afab/fem/black reader.
Warnings: Mentions of sex, (light) descriptions of blood and violence, usage of the N word, mentions of drug use. The reader and Lee are in their 20s but virtually any age group that is 18 and up can enjoy this story. Again 18+, minors do not interact⊠pls.
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Even though you completed assignments in the study hall since you hated doing it at home, school always found a way to leak itself into your private life- especially during your senior year of high school. At least your boyfriend, Shikamaru, sat beside you in the library, a toothpick dangling from his mouth as he tilted back in his seat. You never understood why he was so content with just sitting there silently while you studied.
âCause itâs funny seeing you tryna use your pea brain.â
He stared straight ahead when he said it, but after he side-eyed your bottom lip curling into a little pout, that shit-eating grin of his appeared.
âShut up, pineapple!â You whisper-shouted. âNot everyone can get perfect grades without putting in the work like you.â
Shikamaru scoffed at your complaint, even though complaining is one of his favorite things to do. But heâs only teasing: youâre the smartest person heâs ever met, besides his late father of course.Â
He remembered the times when youâd read anatomy books for hours, just to get to his place and talk his ear off about all the new body parts you learned and what youâd do if they were hypothetically harmed in any way. If he had cut or bruised himself around you, you would sit him down, explain to him what area he injured (even if he already knew), and how youâre gonna treat it while tending to the wound. For any injury that was beyond your capabilities, you'd research them in depth and explain her findings to him later. You just loved taking care of him, and sometimes he genuinely believed that he was your first patient.
He remembered you holding his hand at the funeral at the end of middle school, while both of you stared down at his fatherâs open casket. You imagined Shikamaru in that casket and never really left his side after that, though not to suggest you ever had before. And it didnât take long for Shika to notice your strengthened devotion, the stars in your eyes whenever you looked at him, the hitch of your breath when youâd tell him a truth about yourself that you didnât like. He appreciated the sentiment at least⊠Itâs just that death peeled off a new layer of meaning for your relationship. A layer so deep that you never stopped to wonder how many layers your companion had already uncovered about himself.
âItâs ok if you need help, y/n. Thatâs what boyfriends are for.â Shika slipped his hands from his pockets and slowly leaned towards you until his face was inches away from yours. He was so close, you could feel his breath hit your mouth. âBut donât act like you prefer me being somewhere else right now.â
And itâs even harder to wonder about such layers when his sharp, sleepy eyes bored into yours. That lazy smile hinted at mischief and passion. The nonchalant cadence of his voice that made all of your problems seem easily solvable, and your worries erasable. He knew just how to crumble whatever sorry remains of a front you had put up.Â
âFineâŠâ you murmured, unable to look away. âTh-thereâs this one problem Iâm stuck on.â
You flipped a couple of pages in your textbook, ignoring the way Shika scooted his chair closer to yours until you could smell his expensive cologne..
How am I supposed to focus like this??? You thought.
âThis one?â Your partner mumbled, pointing at the problem you drew a question mark beside. You nodded meekly, watching him slide the book closer in his direction.Â
In less than thirty seconds, Shika read the question and asked you what youâre confused with. Right after you confessed, he made sure you understood your erroneous thought process towards said question and reframed it in a way where you comprehended why the new answer is correct, and why your previous one was not. He did this with pretty much everything he approached. Most of the time it was helpful, other times it was⊠telling.
He tested you on the next question, to which you answered correctly after being given some time to brainstorm. The young man rewarded your round cheek with a wet kiss, warning you not to wipe it off even though he knew you wouldn't dare.Â
âNow, ace this next problem so we can get some grub. School lunch always sucks.â
You considered his offer as if you never blindly agreed to do this many times before.
He helped put your books away and carried some of your bags to ease the asphyxiating weight of school. You both walked through the campus doors on the way to your favorite cafe.
Your legs entangled with Shikaâs in his sheet-clad queen-sized mattress. You used his shoulder to cushion the side of your head with a draped arm over his bare chest. You buried your face in his neck to avoid the sun rays that painted the russet canvas of your skin. Shikaâs got an arm hooked on your waist, while his other hand absentmindedly caressed you anywhere he could. A joint was planted between his dried lips, while gently exhaling a cloud of cannabis through his nose. You never minded the smell when he smoked, you both would often share his weed that he never failed to remind you was his if you ever gave him attitude.
Shika wordlessly passed you the weed when he was halfway done, signaling that you could finish the rest of it. He remembered cackling at you during summer camp a few years back because you choked and hacked after smoking your first blunt. He loved how imperfect you were, loved your tendency to let your innocent curiosity lead the way while adorably trying to be everything society expected of you. He loved how you looked to him to taste the raw experiences of life, while never realizing that you were life itself. He lived vicariously and shamelessly through the endless aspects of your wonder; you couldnât bore him if you did absolutely nothing.
So you accepted his joint with a meek âthank youâ and took a deep drag. Shikaâs eyes were already red, but you always found that hot. He fucked differently when he got high too; heâd lazily guide your hips as you bounced on his cock till you both came, rather than coax your body into submission with orgasm after orgasm beneath him like he usually did. It was a Saturday morning, and you had barely passed your current quarter of classes with a renewed yet ceaselessly rigorous schedule as a nurseâs assistant. Shikamaru had just finished an unholy 60-Hour Broker Licensing course. So itâs an understatement to say yâall hadnât hung out much in the past few weeks.
âYou need a new bed,â you sigh, snuggling closer to your boyfriend so you could hook a leg over his pelvis.
âI need my own house,â he slurred sleepily, idly patting your thigh that sat on his lower stomach. âThis whole fuckin dormâs a drag.â
He was right: not only was the bed too small, the wall paint peeled everywhere and there wasâs no heating system. On top of that he had to pay to stay in the residency. Heâd go to your place more often if you werenât living with your parents at the time, but he had to make due with what he signed up for and what he didnât. Thatâs another thing you loved about Shika. No matter how much he moaned and groaned, he always got the job done.
You playfully tapped on your manâs hard belly, dragging your fingertips along his abs until they stopped at his pecs. You poked and prodded at the smooth skin. Shika slipped the bud from your lips and tossed it on the ashtray beside him.
âI could lay here with you like this forever,â you mumbled enchantedly. âIâll love you forever.â
You raised your chin to check your boyfriendâs reaction. He was already staring down at you and recognized the glaring glow behind your irises. One thing he knew for sure about you, was that when youâre fascinated by something beyond reasoning, you have this look on your face:; plump lips slightly parted with a mindless grin, raised brows, shallow breathing and motionless eyes that wait for the object of its irrepressible fixation to fill the void behind them. Itâs comparable to a thousand-yard stare, and itâs the same look you gave to Shika.
He smirked hopelessly. âEven on a shitty bed?â
A chortle escaped you, and his chest rumbled with gentle laughter beneath the palm of your hand.
âBaby, Iâd lay with you on the cold pavement if I had to.â
âBullshit,â he spat playfully.
You laughed at his remark but it wasnât a joke. Although you never admitted that to him.
Everything was fine. Your career was fine. Your grades met the requirements to keep you on the right track for receiving your bachelors in science in a couple years. Your love life with Shika was fantastic. Even though you lived with your parents they never checked on you or asked how you're doing. They only spoke with you out of necessity and were either working a shit ton or just didnât bother being home. Your love life with Shika was amazing though, and thatâs what mattered. You never felt chosen by your parents but thatâs fine. Shika chose you and thatâs what mattered.
Shikamaru and Temari met at a lecture. It was her first semester at his school, and she just wanted to make the best of her time there so that ends would meet. The first thing Shika noticed about her was her four spiky ponytails and that resting scowl on her face. She looked like she couldnât stand a single thing in her vicinity, and he liked that more than he wanted to admit.
She sat beside him since there werenât many other seats available. Shika side eyed her curiously at the way she unzipped her bag to pull out her academic supplies. She did everything with effortless grace; her handwriting captivated him, the questions sheâd ask the professor made him think of sincere answers to them, her voice was smooth yet heavy with determination. Not once did she ever acknowledge Shika and fuck- she smelled good.
Class was about to end in 10 minutes, the least he could do was try and get a conversation in.
Temari paused but refused to look at him, and continued to write. âThanks.âÂ
Her tone was curt and damn near emotionless, it reminded him of how he would sound while on social auto-pilot.
âAre you really interested in anything theyâre saying?â
Temari glanced at the professor before focusing back on her notes.
Is she really interested in anything Iâm saying? He thought.
âIâm Shikamaru, whatâs your name?â
âIâm from Minnesota, where are you from?â
Shika reeled back and paused. His egoâs telling him to not even bother and continue listening to the lecture, but his mindâs telling him to ask more questions. His ego was telling him that worrying about what to say to someone he had just met was irrational, and yet his mind was flashing images of you. What could he do? What should he do?
ââŠHmph, I bet youâre a stoner.â
Termariâs eyes widened at his sheer audacity, and finally turned her head to face him.
âYup. You might be an edible girl, donât seem like the type whoâd wanna fuck her lungs.â
The spiky haired girl laughed incredulously at his vulgarity. âAnd what are you, a crackhead?â
âIf I were a crackhead- who actually has money if youâre wondering- then do you really think Iâd spend my time talking to you?â
Temari raises a brow. âThen why are you?â
Shika chuckles, âBecause I like you, and I want us to be friends.â
She couldnât quite seem to put a finger on why, but Shika was a douchebag that actually managed to catch her interest. She hates douchebags because they usually lack the nuance to do so, but heâs not even trying that hard. He didnât care for what came out of his mouth, since he believed in every single word. Not only that but he was fine. Real handsome; his dark jagged hair, those piercing eyes, his studded ears, and that lip ring, his effortless attitude, and the exquisite hoarseness of his timbre kept pulling her mind into the grasp of his own.
Temariâs face felt strangely hot, and a huge part of her felt truly foolish for entertaining this man. But a bigger part of her felt even more foolish for almost allowing fear to spoil potential fun. So, she took a deep inhale and relaxed her grip on her pencil.
âI smoke sometimes, edibles are too strong. âŠAnd I take shrooms.â
A proud grin illuminated Shikaâs face. No, he wasnât completely accurate, but it wasâs a start. She was comfortable enough to share a little about herself and thatâs all he needed.
Their first hangout was at a record store after realizing they both shared a love for music. They showed each other their favorite artists, songs, and albums. The two tried so hard not to run their own pockets for the latest releases.
âI donât have a record player by the way.â Temari minded while carefully shuffling through the colorful vinyls.
âNo need,â Shika waved off. âGot one at my place.â
Temari ceased browsing the music, and slowly raised her head to the dark haired man.
âAre you inviting me to your man-cave, Shikamaru?â She sneered.
Shika chucked his fists into his pockets and looked up at the ceiling as if his cheeks werenât rosy with bravery. ââŠOnly if youâre up for it.â
He peeked a look at her form- her arms folded in an attempt to limit how big her smirk should be. However, her amusement radiated like heat. She couldnât seem to believe that she was genuinely interested in getting to know this poser. But why did she need a reason to hang out with whoever she wanted? He had put in the effort, so why couldnât she make the most of it if she pleased?
âI guess I am.â Temari concluded, more to herself in bewilderment.
Shika huffed a scoff of relief, and smiled to himself for making her comfortable enough to want to go home with him. There was so much more he wanted to share with her. Most of all he wanted to see how sheâd respond to each experience he was willing to share and how many experiences she would allow.Â
âAlso, I have something for you back at mines.â
The spiky haired womanâs interest had already peaked, but her expectations were still low. âSo weâre not buying anything from here?â
Shika scratches the back of his head. âIâm not at least. But why spend your money here when you have a free gift waiting for you?â
Temari raised a brow. âYouâre not gonna drug me up and kidnap me are you?â
Shika chortled more bitterly this time, but he still knew her suspicious teasing was understandable.
âNo, Temari.â he sighed with a roll of his eyes. âAnd if it eases your mind, I have a surprise for you. Thatâs why Iâm not being specific about it.â
Temari was not a fan of surprises, but he seemed thoughtful enough to give her a present so she might as well grant him a chance, no? Shika watched her shrug her shoulders and raise her hands in defeat. âLead the way, buddy.â
Shika opened the front door for Temari and she nodded her head to him in gratitude. His humble abode was definitely humbling to say the least. But at least he made his bed before starting the day. His side of the dorm was also as clean and presentable as possible. She refused to blame him for the sorry state of the building and respected his ability to make the most of it.
She watched Shika hunch down to sit on his haunches and search through the contents in his wooden shelf..
âYou can uhhâŠhave a seat wherever you like.â He grunted softly.
Temari decided to sit on the foot of his bed, and side-eyed the way Shikaâs shirt slightly rode up his toned back as he dug deeper through his shit.
âAlright,â he exhaled eagerly before standing on his feet. âClose your eyes fâme.â
Temari's eyes twitched hesitantly before closing them shut. She heard the quiet shuffling of footsteps, which caused a wave of anticipation to wash over the pores of her skin.
Before her was a vinyl, but not any ole regular shmegular one. It was her top favorite album from her top favorite band: For The World to See by Death.
Death is not the most well known band by a long shot, but that doesnât take away their permanent influence on the punk rock scene. And it especially doesnât take away their permanent influence on Temariâs life as a young adult. Yeah, of course she talked nonstop with Shika about Death and why they deserve more recognition as musicians when they hung out in that record store. But she wouldâve never preceded this convenience.
âWhâŠwhere did you..? How-â
âA friend of mine went to their concert and had his vinyl signed by the lead singer. He decided to give it to me for my birthday when he found out I had a record player at home.â
Shika smiled fondly at the awe in Temariâs eyes, and marveled at the way she raised her hands to hold the album only to hesitate when sheâs inches away from its grasp.
âBut I donât have a record player.â
âI can always get you one, princess.â
Temari felt a heat pool in her cheeks and ears, as well as other places in her body she wasnât yet consciously ready to acknowledge. She carefully wrapped her fingers around the smooth and crisp surface of the record, scanning the beautiful artwork and a ragged signature written by Bobby Hackney himself.
Shika never called you princess before.
It was a new year. You had 16 more classes to take for the next 12 months, a prerequisite for your bachelors in science. And even though the nurseâs state board takes place after your graduation, time has a tricky way of passing you by with the blink of an eye. So you studied and studied. Every day. You took care of patients. Every. Day. It wasnât particularly healthy, but the hyperactivity distracted you. It distracted you from how unhappy you were: with your parents, with the way you saw yourself, with your career- even if you did everything necessary to become the best nurse that you knew you could be. Plus, if you were improving your skill set, who cares if you hadnât properly slept in weeks? As long as youâd gotten smarter, as long as you helped save lives, you could neglect your own.Â
On top of that you hadnât hung out with your boyfriend in person for months, which was becoming a norm in your relationship. You always made sure to let him know when you were free, yet he always made sure to let you know he was too busy. You donât talk on a weekly basis anymore, since Shikamaru continually missed your calls. He does text you to make up for it though. But it was fine. As soon as you graduated, you both could finally be together again and make up for lost time. You were sure that he was waiting too. You were sure he still missed you. He had to. You were positive because you felt the same way and because, well, you were dating each other.
Itâs 9:30 pm and your last patient of the night, Marty, had finally managed to sleep after enduring a 3 hour absence seizure. You sat at the foot of the bed, eyes were reddened with dryness, back heavy and strained. But you refused to rest;: you needed to check for any recurring symptoms if he gets triggered in his sleep again.
You snap your head to the voice behind you, and itâs the head nurse youâre working under, Ms. Adams. You were so tired you didnât even hear her walking in.
Ms. Adams frowned at your hunched state. âItâs okay y/n, we have computers monitoring him. You wonât be of any help if you're half-conscious anyway.â
You gulped dryly at her insistence and turned back to give Marty one last look, before nodding in defeat. You slowly pushed yourself from the bed and bid your mentor a good night. Before you could head out, she rested a gentle hand on your shoulder.
âGood work today, y/n.â She casted a somber smile your way. âGood work as always, really. Youâll be a great nurse one day. I hope you know that.â
You looked down at your beaten up shoes.
âThanks nurse Adams. Gânight.â
You were in the locker room shrugging off your nurse uniform when you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket. Your face beamed brighter than your screen when you saw your boyfriendâs name. Even though you werenât done getting dressed, you refused to fumble the opportunity of hearing your loverâs voice after such a stressful day.
âHeyy⊠You busy right now?â
âNo-no! Never too busy for you! I actually miss you... So much.â
Shikamaru side eyed his phone before pinching the bridge of his nose.Â
ââŠMe too. And uhhâŠI know we havenât been talking much for a long while and Iâve been thinking.â
Youâve been thinking too! You thought about all the dates youâre both gonna go on, all the sex youâre gonna have. You thought about all the weed youâre gonna smoke with him and all the stories youâll tell him about your time spent as a nurseâs assistant. You thought about helping him move out of that shitty dormitory so that yâall can rent an apartment together. You thought about settling down together after you pass your state board with flying colors and Shika passing his exam so that he can finally be a real estate agent. You thought about him buying you both a permanent house after you get married and adopting two cats with a dog and spider. Youâve been thinking of so much too.
âI-Iâve been talking to someone else for the past few or so months. And Iâm in love with her⊠And so I think we should⊠break up.â
You wordlessly looked up at the ceiling, watching the painted patterns mold and blur together as you felt your eyes gloss over. You gulped once, twice, one more time for safe measure.
It had been two minutes since he divulged his confession, and you hadnât said a wordnything. Shikaâs knee was jutting up and down and up and down and up and down. Clenching his fist, he took a deep breath.
âSorry that this was so sud-â
Shikaâs eyes widened in horror at the ominous conviction in your tone. When you talk like that, your mind can't be changed.
Your fist repeatedly hit Shikaâs door, and it didnât stop even after your shoulder started to feel sore.
âIâm coming, I'm coming!â Shikaâs voice is muffled and drowned out by the cacophony you created.
As soon as he opened the door you barged through like a shadow someone would mistake for a demon in their closet. You yanked him by the collar and he winced at your unexpected strength.
âI gave you six years of my life- SIX YEARS!â Your screaming rang through the thin walls of the dormitory like a curse during the witchâs hour. You pushed him back, and kept pushing him until his legs hit the foot of the bed. Shika yelped when he stumbled on his back, and you took that chance to straddle his hips and look him dead in the eyes so you could confirm for yourself if this was what he actually wanted.
But Shika got a good look at you too, and he grimaced softly at the sight: your tear-stained face, the borderline mania in your blood-shot eyes, your knitted brows, your gritted teeth, your heaving breath that gently hit his mouth. You looked like whatever hope you clinged onto had disappeared. And thatâs because he snatched it away. And now you were flailing helplessly on the jagged floor of your mind, like a baby whoâs candy had been stolen. Like a bug who ended up stuck on its back. Like the tightrope youâd been tirelessly treading on your whole life had snapped again, while Shika watched you fall on the other side even though he promised heâd catch you. The other side that was never even in your grasp.
âBeen dating behind my back, huh?â Your voice was shaky with adrenaline and vitriol. âFor how long?â
âW-We havenât dated yet, we're just friends⊠Y/n can we plea-â
The man beneath you scoffed petulantly at the fact that youâd even ask that. But that fuck ass nonchalance of his was not getting past you this time.
âANSWER ME!â you roared as you violently shook his body to get it through his head, spit flew from your mouth and hit his face.
You were unrecognizable at this point. Shika needed to meet you halfway, he needed to calm you down somehow. He grunted frustratedly and grabbed your wrists to loosen your iron grip on him, but you wouldnât budge. He used his other hand to hold the back of your head. Your breath hitched at the way he began to steadily stroke your hair.
âNo, pea brain.â He mumbled sincerely. âOf course not.â Your eyes drooped at the pet name he gave you. He hasnât called you that in ages. âThatâs why I contacted you first, before anything escalated.â
Things have already escalated though, and now all he could do was tell you the truth. More tears fell from your eyes when you saw the tenderness in his gaze. No, you thought. It will not end like this.
âLet me fix this Shika,â your voice warbled with a devastating crack. âWe can fix this.â
Man am I a shitty person, he thought. And an even shittier boyfriend.
âNo, we canât,â he sighed at how your bottom lip quivered desperately. âI just happened to realize it before you did.â
You loathed the way he was looking at you, the way he was handling you. Not because it was a ploy to get back in your good graces, but because you could tell he was being honest. And that made you resent him even more. But all you could do was melt in his embrace when he wrapped his arms around your torso, hugging you tightly as your body wracked with sobs.
âI may not love you like that anymore, but youâve worked so hard for the both of us. And Iâm sorry I made you find out this way.â He whispered gently against your ear, and felt your heartbeat pound against his chest as you wept endlessly.
âYouâll always be my greatest friend. Iâm really sorry, y/n.â
You had never cried so hard the way you did that night. The one person who was your other half. The one person whoâd known you the best and the longest, belonged to someone else now. And you were too high off the nostalgia of the sweet moments you both shared, because thatâs what got you going. Itâs what motivated you to work when all you wanted to do was sleep. It drove you to a certain madness that only bloomed from the scarcity of emotional safety. It was all you knew.
And you were fine with knowing only that. As long as heâd stayâŠ
After that night, you took a week off from working at the hospital and decided to do your school work virtually for a while. You stayed cooped up in your house for so long that even your parents, of all people, noticed. You didnât know how you were going to recover from this.
âJust hop on the next dick,â your other close friend, Bria, suggested while lighting up a blunt.
She decided to visit you after you called her bawling your eyes out while watching your favorite josei anime, Nana for the tenth time. An intervention was wayyy overdue. She cuddled beside you with your favorite snacks splayed on the bed. You almost choked on your coffee at her casual vulgarity, but you understood where she was coming from.
ââŠitâs not that simple,â you mumbled pitifully.
âHell no it ainât, but itâs a start. And fuck that nigga- if he can move on that quickly then so can you.â
A reluctant smile started to creep up your lips. Maybe she was right. There were plenty of people out there whoâd treat you so much better than Shika did. You just needed to give yourself a try. Nonetheless, you groaned exasperatedly at the sheer energy that would take and placed your mug on your night stand.
âHeâs my first love, tho-â
âAnd Iâll be good-goddamned if heâs your last... Look at me.â
You continued to look down at your fiddling fingers until you felt a soft hand tilt your chin sideways to face her.
âItâs not fair y/n,â you saw the passionate anger swimming behind Briaâs eyes. âYou have no idea how much I hate seeing my best friend like this. Youâre too kind, smart and beautiful to wallow in this pain.â
Before you knew it, you felt her thumbs wipe away stray tears from your cheeks. She stuffed the blunt in between your lips and crawled off of your bed. You watched her turn on your favorite music playlist and open your closet door right after. You inhaled a nice, deep drag of weed while curiously trying to make sense of your friend shuffling through your clothes.
âWhat are you doing?â You inquired while blowing smoke through your nose.
âMaking sure you dress like a slut. Weâre going out.â
You had just become a nurse: after graduating with a bachelor's degree in science and microbiology, you passed the state board and received your certification. The one thing you slaved away for your entire academic life had finally been bestowed upon you, and the fact that your journey had only just begun never failed to boggle your mind.
Luckily you were mentored by a fine professional, so the trials and obstacles that came with your job weren't as surprising as you anticipated. You were prepared, and thatâs one of the things you loved most about your journey. You had finally moved out of your parentsâ house and rented an apartment of your own. The unlimited privacy was such a breath of fresh air, albeit lonesome. You felt ashamed for not enjoying the solitude, but a big part of you found it necessary for your growth.
You picked up and dropped many hobbies along the way, downloaded a handful of dating apps rancid with men feening for attention and the next heart to abuse. With the rare chances that you were free on your schedule, you dated here and there. Initially there was a thrill that came with it, meeting unique personalities, discovering what worked and what didnât. The sex was⊠sex. Only 1 out of the 8-10 people you dated made you orgasm with penetration only and he was the worst fuck nigga youâd ever come across. It didnât come close to the heartbreak that drove you to put yourself out there in the first place, but he was the catalyst to starting your inevitable celibacy.
So you deleted the dating apps and focused on you, and swore to yourself that when you do date it would be someone who would earn your trust. You even hung out with Ayesha more often and supported her businesses to help get your mind off of the three basic things you worried about on a daily basis.
You hadnât talked to Shikamaru in 2 years, which was gruesome but needed. Throughout that time you always wondered if he truly missed you. Flashbacks of him would appear the most during dates and there was nothing more annoying than that to endure. At least you started taking therapy. Luckily, you were blessed with a great professional so you decided to make that a norm in your life ever since. The main thing that was so hard to accept about healing was that it got worse first. In every aspect.
One day, you were lounging on your couch while mindlessly scrolling through your social media feed. You were so bored and tired, temporary dopamine hits were the only way you had energy to spend your time. That was until a notification popped up on your screen: the notification being Shikamaruâs name.
First things first, why you never blocked him or deleted his contact was beyond you, rationally speaking. Subconsciously, you just couldnât let go all the way.
You tossed your phone on the table beside you and sat up, staring into nothingness while attempting to process what youâd just witnessed. Your eye twitched when you heard another faint vibration come from your phone.
Is this man seriously texting me right now?
You closed your eyes and took a minute to prepare yourself for any and all impending doom looming from whatever information heâs relaying to you through those messages. You decided to think no further and snatched your device with a worried grunt, and opened the notifications.
An invitation to his engagement partyâŠ
Followed up with a text that said: Itâd be great if you stopped by so we can catch up.
Your hand squeezed your phone tighter and tighter with every word that you read. Your first impulse was to tell him to fuck all the way off and that you hope his party gets ruined. Your next impulse was to ignore it forever and finally block him. The impulse after that was to play it cool and respectfully decline. And the impulse after that was to⊠scream in your pillow.
You called Bria instead. And after a 2 hour long conversation basically bashing your ex while fighting your crippling anxiety, none of that took away the fact that you missed him. Youâve always missed your friendship with him. It was arguably more fruitful than the romantic affairs you both shared because the feelings were consistently mutual. You didnât have a sliver of doubt in your mind about it since he never gave you a reason to. He said so himself.
Bria did not approve of your decision to attend the party, she believed itâd just be setting you back years of growth. But you believed in yourself for once. You believed you could handle seeing him again.
You could not handle seeing him again. It was the evening of the engagement party, and you were still at home glaring yourself down in the mirror. Your hair was in natural twists at the time, a dainty orchid placed on the side of your head. You wore a silky white slip dress, the shiny satin draping over your curves and dark skin magnificently. You stepped in your matching white mid heels and snatched your purse before you changed your mind about this entire situation.
You reread Briaâs words of encouragement that she texted to you earlier that day, it was the only thing (besides already paying for your Uber) that kept you from turning right back around and throwing your ass in the bed.
When you made it to the destination, you looked up at the top floor to find that the party took place on a terrace. Once you were granted access, you took the elevator. Every minute that passed for the elevator to rise to the top floor churned your stomach to no avail. Goosebumps ravaged your skin with discomfort.
Why am I doing this to myself? You wondered solemnly. Heâs getting married for fuckâs sake.
The sound of sleek metal doors opening snapped you out of your self-pitying trance. You stepped out of the elevator and the scenery was simply marvelous: the decorating lanterns, larger-than-life bouquets, and uniquely shaped furniture gave a fairytale-like feel to the event with its illuminating contrast to the night sky. Everyone followed the dress code, the tableware was exquisitely neat, free-form jazz players performed live on an intimate stage, servers carried fancy food with impeccable care. Pretty fitting for the budget of a successful real-estate agent.
You strolled tentatively into the crowd, for you didnât really know anybody there besides one person. And there that one person was: socializing with his friends while his pretty bride-to-be latched onto his elbow. They were laughing together. They were happy.
âFuck this shit,â you mumbled and turned your heel to head to the exit.
As you walked, you mentally beat yourself up, shamed yourself for feeding your ego and falling for nostalgia once again instead of taking Ayeshaâs advice. You felt the presence of enthusiastic strangers pass you by, the smell of food wafting through your nose, the suave music thrumming in your ears. Youâd enjoy it all if you could.
You raised your finger to press the elevator button, but jolted at the feeling of a warm and heavy hand grasping your shoulder. You swiftly turned your body, jaw slightly dropped at Shikamaru standing right in front of you.
He looked down at you with a hopeful glint in his eyes, a relieved smirk adorned his features. He had a new glow to him: his shoulders were relaxed with great posture, his hair grew longer. He was a bit bulkier and got rid of his lip ring. He looked healthy, rounder with contentment.
âDidnât think youâd come.â His voice got deeper and raspier too.
A shaky sigh escaped you. âMe neither.â
Shika chuckled tentatively, he shouldâve expected that.
âYou look nice. Appreciate you for following the dress code.â
You nodded your head wordlessly, and looked down at your painted toes. âYup.â
Your ex scratched the nape of his neck before sinking his hands into his pockets.
âHowâve you been, y/n?â
You blinked a couple times at his tone. It sounded somber and sincere, which is kind of unusual since heâs used to covering up how he really feels about certain things. At least he bothered to ask.
âAs well as I can be⊠Iâm a nurse now.â
âHeh, not surprising. I always knew youâd succeed.â
âI guess I can say the same for you. Is selling houses really as fun as it sounds?â
He grimaced teasingly. âHave you even met me?â
You giggled helplessly at his honesty. Shikaâs gaze softened at the sound of your laugh, the curve of your smile. You may not have known it, but you were glowing too. In your own y/n way.
âThereâs some people I want you to meet. Are you open to it?â
You tapped your chin in faux thought, and revelled in the uneasiness that laced his stare.
âSure, why not?â You chirped.
An exhale of relief settled the tension in his chest, and he led you to his associates. You met his fellow real estate agents, stock brokers and business owners. They were all nice, but a little handsy- you were not used to multiple men flirting with you at once. A waitress served you a glass of champagne, you politely thanked her and let the chilled alcohol stream down your throat.
You were getting a bit overstimulated from interacting with so many people, you appreciated Shika for being by your side but you honestly needed some quiet.Â
âHey Shika,â you mumbled.
He leaned closer to block out the extra noise. âYeah?â
âIâm gonna go chill by the balcony.â
He gave you a look of understanding and nodded conclusively. âLet me know if you need anything.â
You gave him a thumbs up. âWill do.â
The breeze was warm yet crisp, you appreciated the way it blew through your hair and skin. After sitting the glass of champagne on a small table beside you, you folded your arms and sat on a plush chair. You looked up at the black canvas of the sky, involuntarily searching for stars as you managed to drown out the background chatter and unwanted sound. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Maybe this wasnât so bad. Maybe you could handle this, and maybe you are happy for Shika. Maybe it wonât hurt as much anymore.
Temari saw you chatting with her husband-to-be. You were beautiful. Stunning, even, and she disliked how the spit in her mouth was starting to taste like bile. She decided to fraternize with her own friends for a bit, but the way you both got along so seamlessly, even after a shitty breakup was more telling of your bond than sheâd ever be comfortable with admitting. Eventually, she caught you heading towards the edge of the terrace where you sat to indulge in whatever world your mind created. Without thinking, she excused herself from her peers, straightened her back and walked towards you in confident strides.
You perked up at the sound of a chair in front of you sliding against the wooden floor, until your mouth sagged into a subtle frown at the sight of Shikamaruâs fiancĂ©e. She took her seat with a curt sigh and folded her hands on her lap. Your eyes had met for the first time that night. Her gaze sharpened with blazing intent, though it wasnât malicious. Not in the slightest. You looked at her with a sense of peaceful mellowness, almost awestruck. Why you gave her that look, she didnât know, but it made her feel like she could soften her guard. Just a bit.
âWe havenât properly met. Iâm Temari, Shikamaruâs future wife.â
You took a sip of your drink. You wanted to snap back with a witty remark, but you knew that would serve you absolutely nothing. âYeah, I gathered that.â
She was impressed with the way you maintained eye contact with her, and decided to proceed with this interaction.Â
âDo you know why I allowed my fiancĂ©e to invite you to our party?â
You set your glass down with a burp and slouched against the cushion of your chair. You were gonna need another drink. âEnlighten me.â
Temari unfolded her hands and fiddled with her engagement ring. âA few months ago, I caught him staring at a picture of you and him back in middle school. Heâd tell me stories of the childhood memories you both shared with a certain fondness. Would you be happy if I said I was quite envious?â
âNot at all,â you waved off with a hand. âAnd if Iâm being honest, you shouldnât be.â
The woman before you leaned forward to get a closer look at you. âEnlighten me.â
âBecause he was an insufferable child,â you deadpanned.
Temari lifted a brow at your humor and snorted. You lolled your head to the side and rested your chin on an open palm.Â
âEither way, he loved you enough to choose you as his wife. Thatâs all that matters now.â
Temari slowly but surely started to understand why Shika befriended you. Even more so why he still wanted you in his life. She mirrored your lax posture and sank into her seat. She wanted to ask questions about your break up but that was none of her concern and she didnât want to trigger a painful memory.
âYou matter too, yâknow?â
âWhich is exactly why I pondered on why I even came here.â
âBecause youâre a supportive friend.â
âHmphâŠâ you idly held your torso while cradling your empty glass. Temari noticed the somber weight your eyes held and decided to call for a waiter.
Once they came, she ordered 1 glass of wine for herself and one refill for you.Â
âWould you like anything to eat, y/n?â That was the first time she addressed you by your name.
You gulped and requested your food choice, deciding to make yourself more comfortable. While you both waited for service, you began asking each other questions about yourselves rather than continue talking about your respective histories with the same man. You surprisingly had a lot in common and to Temariâs delight, you were the first person to make her guffaw obnoxiously with teary eyes from your jokes alone. Yâall even exchanged numbers at some point.
Your rowdy conversations were quite the head-turners and felt yourselves getting quite tipsy with liquor. But the genuine enjoyment of each otherâs company was much stronger. You didn't notice Shika staring at you both with golf balls for eyes. The two most important women in his life were getting along so well all of a sudden, which was not a predicament heâd ever considered witnessing.
The party began to wrap up, and Shika and Temari offered to give you a ride home since the air was starting to get chilly. You meekly obliged, feeling a bit foreign in the personal space of their car.
You were gonna give Bria an earful when you got home.
This work belongs solely to Â©ïž blimbosworlddd. Do not plagiarize, steal, copy or repost. I worked very hard on this; reblogs, comments, and likes are appreciated.
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