50 days of cristina yang ♡ 3/50
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50 days of cristina yang ♡ 3/50
May 2017 be the year you stop standing in the doorway, and actually find the courage to take steps across the threshold into the happiness you so rightfully deserve to exist in. to live in. all the time, not some of the time. all the time.
iammyss , 2017. the year to take bold steps. (via wnq-writers)
I dont know how I got lost, but I did and I am.
I need to get out of this tunnel
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.
Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People (via thequotejournals)
The beautiful thing about life is that you can always change, grow and get better. You aren’t defined by your past. You aren’t your mistakes.
Unknown (via deeplifequotes)
Let’s all run
Im a runner but I don’t like running. 20 years and 11 months into my life, it finally hit me, I am a runner, but I absolutely, positively and definitely, despise running. I cannot run for more than ten seconds to save my life. Then why do I run? I run away from challenging situations, difficult choices, painful emotions, and all sorts of feelings and positions I do not wish to deal with. Funny, isn’t it?The thought hit me while I was running out my anger: 1) I don’t run 2) I was running away from my anger. 3) It worked. I ran and I am no longer angry.
Everything and nothing
Ever thought about how much stuff you have? Have you, for a few moments, perhaps a couple of seconds or even minutes, forgot that it was your’s the life you are living and took a good look at this life. Ever wondered if you could live without all of this? That painting on the wall you got when you were out shopping with your friends and you got because it reminded you of that movie. That vanilla-scented candle that you lit once a year. Or even, that blanket that you don’t even use, but you got because it matched your room. This doesn’t even cover it. Your clothes, your shoes, your gadgets, your stuff. You look around you, though, and you find everything, but you notice one thing missing. Where is you?
When I get asked what the hardest thing that I have faced in my life has been, I sometimes respond with my current challenge, whether it be a project im working on or a a strike out I am having trouble sorting out with someone. The thing is, what I have really come to realize, in the rare moments that I have to myself is that the hardest, most difficult task in life is not the hardship itself, but rather is dealing with it. Sometimes, I avoid things. I avoid emotions, trouble, situations that cause pain, and hardship. I have come to realize that in fact, picking yourself up and simple just dealing with it and moving on is actually the most challenging part of life but also the most satisfying. My pen? It is my weapon. My biggest weakness is dealing with my weaknesses, if that makes sense at all. However, with my weapon, I feel, no rather I am stronger. That is how is have learned to deal with my weakness; I have simply found my weapon and my armor: my pen.
The tree of life
I like to think that I am constantly winning against my demons. I like to think that I am the survivor in this battle, but sometimes I feel like my tight grip is slowly letting loose. I let go. I get scared. I feel as though I am going to fall. What I don’t realise is that I am holding on. I have my other hand and just as I have let go of the branches of the old oak tree of life with my left, I have held on ever so tightly with my right. Relieved. Yes, I feel relieved and I start to appreciate this old tree slightly more than I used to. I guess maybe thats what they mean when they say when you close one door, a million others open.
I’m afraid I’ll never finish college. I’m afraid I’ll finish college with student loans I can never pay back. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree and won’t be able to find a job in that field. I’m afraid I’ll get a degree, get the job I dreamed of, and hate it.
A Mental Illness Happy Hour listener whose list of fears matches mine four for four. Glad I’m not the only one. (via bl-ossomed)
Can we be happy?
Marriage. Kids. Life. From one topic to the other, they jumped through the years of life, as if death was the only thing left to talk about. It made her sad. The “it” she referred to was perhaps this notion that some of us can live our lives waiting, waiting for something great to happen, but it never does. Others, on the other hand, try to construct the image of a perfect life - in hope for satisfaction maybe? Yet the only person they do not realize they need to satisfy is themselves. And some, go on. They go on to do great things, live great lives, make great changes. But we wonder, we always wonder: Are they happy? Were they happy? Are we happy? Will we be happy? And the biggest thing that we never cease to wonder is: Can we be happy?
Sunshine
It’s empty, dark and quiet. But for some reason, rather than a shiver from the cold, I felt a deep warmth extruding from within. Satisfaction? No, I don’t think that was it. I am easily dissatisfied by many things, as soon as I see the lack of order in the sequence of my life, I feel alarmed, as though as my entropy is beginning to increase. However, it was more of a feeling of gratefulness. I felt lucky. Lucky to have it all, or have what many didn’t have, and I guess for the time being, that was enough.
I know, I know how much you want to be there for me, how much you are and how you always will be, but no, I cant. I cant let you be there for me, no not because I dont want you, but because I dont want to blame you. Because I love you. Because you are the best thing thats ever happened to me, and because I dont want that to go away. Ironic, huh? But thats exactly why. Because if anything goes wrong, I know its because of me, and not us, thats why. Because I like us, no I love us, and I want us, and I need us.
maybe ill get better soon, just maybe