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Existence is an imperfection.

Jean Paul Sarte

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Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Gøëthe

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foreward....

The relationship between Democrat and Democracy is none. The relationship between Social Program and Social Good is little. God truly bless America, for she is a forsaken nation, but she is my home, and I dream of better days. I love for better days. I live for better days. I work for better days....

poem in canto/one long sentence

This is a land that calls itself freedom. 

It proudly and boldly denounces oppression, while it built itself on the backs of slaves. 

Attempting to maintain the states of the disenfranchised, 

the status of the disempowered via stolen identity, perpetuated privilege, european imperialism and hegemony,

the delusion of divine right enforced by a police state and venerated through mechanisms of social control- 

purchased with the blood of the stolen and those lost in genocide.

afterword.....

as war is brought forth as evidence of change as proof of resolutions to the disillusioned & oppressed peoples who have elected officials who keep them enslaved- as these elected are raised to false messiah-hood, as the earth cries out.

I call this land Babylon and I weep.

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Your outward image is critical in reminding people that you have control.

Condoleezza Rice

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I want to be a soda can.

I want to be made of aluminum.

I want to be filled with fluid and carbonation until someday someone decides to pull my tab. mmmm

I know Ill just get emptied and crushed, but eh; thats life.

At least I’ll be recycled.

I want to feel purposeful, I want to live a full life.

Drink me up.....

At least I’m Diet...

Rite/Right

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for you I am a violin.

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learning to embrace typos and all of life’s woes.

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Quick Check in via thought bubbles

Caffeine free Diet Coke has found its way back in to my life.

I think Lizzo vs Netta is way to ignored a discussion.

I am feeling unmotivated but unemotional. Opening up in therapy about the resurgence of my eating disorder after recovery from my psychotic break has brought me into an apathetic awareness known to some as precontemplation. I know it as a calm part of the cycle that looks more EDNOS. Maybe I am more observant of my behavior.

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Fiction is the notion that I can snap my fingers and transport myself to a new consciousness albeit the daily mental masturbation and 24 hour tasking. It is wandering the daybreak of the unknown, in a realm where the horizon is suspended disbelief and the sun only sets if you think it does. 

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"The main thing you've got to remember is that everything in this world is a hustle."- Malcolm X

•w/ force to move hurriedly or unceremoniously in a specified direction •push roughly; jostle •hurry; bustle •to obtain by forceful action or persuasion •coerce or pressure someone into doing or choosing something •sell aggressively •obtain by illicit action; swindle; cheat: •to engage in prostitution (the informal) •busy movement and activity •a fraud or swindle (the informal)

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Some thing will never get resolved by tears.

So I now pray for the day after never.

For never is the day reserved for freedom,

If Never is that day where you don’t have to tilt your glasses, tighten your tie, clear your throat, wipe your eyes, or excuse yourself, before then becoming an Ivy League professor on behalf of re-educating someone to the verbal violence they’ve just spewed and the boundaries they’ve just crossed.

The day I will be relieved of this bondage of self os the day after never,

The day when censorship will be unnecessary, and honesty when stated with reckless abandon will come with a guarantee of mutual respect and a guarantee of open dialogue.

A day when enlightenment to each individuals personal rights, beliefs, and preferences is somehow within reach in a safe, equitable, and respectful manner, 

A true golden age of self, 

a personal renaissance, 

a hegemony free era. 

A revolution in the suggested pertinency of a solution being equal to its labor and parts.

May my prayers be answered.  

[ixforrest]

Check-In

forsakenness is my status, condition, emotion, noun of West Germanic origin I most identify with?

food, relationships, sex, & money are my solution.

ermitophobia, what everyone thinks i’m struggling with, and admittedly as I get older and healthier being alone does begin to terrify me, but in no way does it motivate or direct my actions.

animus, my captor and protector; the real deal of what i struggle with, that which genuinely dictates my day. 

That was good for me.

problem = animus

problem to consider= ermitophobia

emotion = forsaken

solution = overspending, over-eating