Daisuke Takahashi [An Exclusive Interview]Â Â âMy Peak is Yet to Comeâ
https://number.bunshun.jp/articles/-/839101
The article translated from: Bunshun NUMBER Vol. 970
Jan. 17, 2019
Gasping for air harshly, the eyes shut tight in agony,
yet there was an unmistakable smile on his face.
It was about half a year since the announcement of his return to compete.
The former champion came back to the Japan Nationals that he set as his goal. He said, âI will not retire yetâ, while declining the World Championships
to represent the nation. He now tells the story behind those decisions and
about the change of his feelings toward skating ------.
Text by Takaomi Matsubara
Photos by Kosuke Mae / Asami Enomoto
The new year has started, and he appeared with a freshly cropped hair style and a smile.
âI took a break for about ten days after the Nationals and indulged in heavy eating and drinking on all those days, but I returned to the ice rink now. I have started practicingâ
He announced his return to compete last July. While an unusual kind of challenge by the 32-year-old after four years of retirement got attention by many, he proceeded step by step competing in the regional and then the sectional competition and reached to attend the National Championships last December for the first time in five years. He realized his initial goal at the time of announcement of his return to competitions, that is, making it to perform his Free Skating in the final group, and beyond that, he even got the overall result of winning the second place.
After the competition he revealed that he declined the offer to be selected to represent Japan in the World Championships, but also, he told the press he was ânot planning to retire yetâ.
It is about half a month since then. His expression shows that he is feeling good and fulfilled in the way as he has been all through the time since his return. It looks like symbolizing this season itself.
âNothing has been wasted. Now I feel that all that happened were connected.â
Reflected the past, Takahashi touched on his decision not going to the Worlds as a start.
âWhen I thankfully got offered that they would select me as a representative if I go get the Minimum Score, I thought, âthatâs not itâ. Going to the World Championships is to represent Japan and one must feel the responsibility to match that, and yet, I got no time for such preparedness. I did not return to go to the Worlds or to compete in the world. I returned to get back my own skating, so my feeling doesnât chime in with it. Something feels wrong, perhaps, like lack of resolution. If, say, this was next year, or if I were doing it for about two years already and could feel familiar to the world level, then I might have been able to tell myself âheck, they (other skaters) simply couldnât go above meâ though. Moreover, a chance to go to the World Championships held in Japan is a rare opportunity. That experience is huge. Therefore, I thought it must go to the young ones. Keiji (Tanaka) is not all that young but he is, to me. (LOL)â
Although he was placed second in the Nationals, he made a lot of mistakes in jumps in his Free Skating and Takahashi himself called it âpatheticâ. If he could skate that FS well and felt satisfied with his performance, would it be possible that he chose not to decline the Worlds?
He instantly replied.
âNo. I would think I did it by dumb luck. If I got asked whether I can do the same in the Worlds I donât think I would feel confident. So I think I still would choose not to go.â
The Worlds 2019 will be taken place at Saitama Super Arena. That is the same venue the Worlds 2014 were held, which Takahashi had to decline. Did he not feel driven by a desire to settle the score with the regret he had last time around?
âI sure thought of it. But probably thatâs just my ego.â
 All through the time from the press conference to announce his comeback until the National Championships, Takahashi kept making mention of the younger generation or the development of the sport. And often, this attitude stood out more than his focus on his own matters in competing. Athletes generally place the âIâ first before the other things and that is an accepted trait.
 Takahashi himself, while showing the strong feelings against loosing, has been an athlete very thoughtful and caring to the people around him from the very beginning of his career, but even with such a nature considered, those words and acts of his left a conspicuous impression.
âIf I had kept competing, I might feel like that. But I left once. Ichiro (Baseball) and Kazu (Kazuyoshi Miura of Soccer) both never left the field. Mr. Funaki (Kazuyoshi Funaki of Ski Jump) as well. I think continuing is very hard and people like them are just fine to put their âIâ first. On the other hand, I ran away, or I lost confidence and left and then returned. And when I was away, I was in a place to support and cheer them all. Itâs hard to explain, though.â
He expressed his earlier decision to retire that he âran awayâ.
âI could not reach my goal, could not get a medal in the (Sochi) Olympics, then I could not go on until the Worlds even I got selected to, I failed to sort things out and rewire myself; I would put it that I gave it up and fled, in a way. I had an issue with my leg. But I could force myself to go to that competition if I really try hard enough. So, I mostly felt that I ran away.â
At that time, his coach, Mrs. Utako Nagamitsu recommended to decline the Worlds as well.
âThat made me feel relieved. I could feel much easier. Even though (she) normally would be the one to say, âyou might as well go, you never know what will happenâ, she just said, âsounds goodâ at that time. She had been watching how things going throughout the time. For those two years until Sochi, things are not working out well. It was like I kept pressing all the wrong buttons.â
And yet, he was expected to get results as a representative of Japan. He was counted on. It must be quite some weight he had on his shoulders as much as his sense of responsibility.
âI had fun feeling anticipating I could move ahead on and on even at age of 32â
With a sense of bitterness Takahashi left his competing life on October â14. And after some period studying in New York, he expanded his stage of activities. Along with performing in ice shows he worked as a TV reporter. Those hours and days precipitated at the bottom of his heart like lees.
âWhile I was doing different things that had been thankfully offered to me, I could not help feeling that I was doing what  I was not cut out for. I already knew that I was not good at talking but I truly realized that I was a failure. I thought itâs not just for me.â
âI hated my face more and more. I donât look lively. I donât like this face. That feeling got stronger as time went by.â
But this period was not just filled with what made him unhappy. In addition to the conventional ice shows, Takahashi performed in a dance show âLOVE ON THE FLOORâ and a collaboration of Kabuki and figure skating, âHyoenâ.Â
âAs I took part in those shows I realized that I liked a place to do a performance and that feeling grew stronger. And even through the work of a TV reporter I feel uncomfortable, I had some opportunities to hear some stories from artists working in different fields. They were shining brightly, I could really sense their joy of being able to do what they love to do, and at the same time, I thought I wanted to be like that myself.â
And he reached to this one thought.
âThe tool for me to shine is figure skating.â
The time of four years had him rediscover skating.
The final push to the decision was the Japan Nationals at the end of year 2017.
âWhen I saw the official practices, or while I sit in the commentatorâs seat looking across at the skaters and coaches, I thought, âI want to be on that other sideâ.â
Many were paying attention to who would win the tickets to Pyeongchang Olympics, but there are some skaters who left Takahashiâs heart strong impressions: Koshin Yamada and Sota Yamamoto. Yamada once retired from competing after he graduated Kansai University. He returned to the sport while working at the Mitsui Sumitomo Bank. The other skater, Yamamoto, managed to come back to the Nationals after two times of major injuries.
âKoshin left figure skating once but returned as a member of working society and did a good performance and gave a fist pumping of joy at the end. Sota was not back to his real level with injuries but he performed with deep feelings. The performances by those two hit me in my mind and made me realize that there are many ways to compete. Even if it is hard to be a few of the top, there are skaters who continue for the love of competing, performing in front of people or simply for the love of skating.â
And he realized:
âUp until then, I thought that I should not be competing if I could not feel that I am capable to win. But that is not the only way to compete.â
It may be the Nationals that gave him the direct impact. But what made him to regain the feeling for this sport once lost is the four years of different experiences he had been through.
Once he decided to return to the sport and came back to the ice rink as a competitor, what Takahashi got is the feeling of pure joy.
âI put the skating on the back burner for four years until I returned and there are lot of things I can no longer do, but when I started to practice then I got, like, âoh, I can do this, or that, and hey, I can do this too!â I almost feel like a new beginner with a mindset of one. It is true that I felt some pressure, a different kind from the one before. If I would turn out to compete miserably then people might say âoh Daisuke Takahashi is actually not that good after all.â But rather than that fear, as one by one I added what I could do on the list, I had stronger feeling of anticipating I could move ahead on and on even at age of 32.â
âI finally got to be able to say, âI love skatingâ.â
Soon, he was feeling more than just âbackâ on the ice.Â
âI was away from skating since I got tired of it, but after all, what I feel most confident in me is skating. Now I face it squarely, feeling that I want to truly devote myself to skating, and that I love to do performing. I found myself determined as much as considering myself competing for a lifetime even after I eventually retire from attending competitions. So, I thought I am making âa new startâ.
âI finally got to be able to say, âI love skatingâ.â
As far as I remember, he never said âI love skatingâ before his retirement in 2014. Takahashi nodded.
âNo. I think I didnât say that. I didnât know myself if I like it or hate it. It was rather something what I had to do. I certainly liked it very much at the beginning, but I guess I lost that somewhere along the line. Because I was offered to do many different things after the retirement, I could find that I like skating and I could say that. That was a discovery as well.â
âI had opportunities getting my photos taken before my return, but after coming back to skating the pictures of me look better, or they impress myself that I got a good face now. Thatâs another way I realized that I liked skating. My love of skating might have finally grown in my mind after I came back.â
He once again spoke clearly regarding his word that he would ânot going to retire yetâ, the statement he gave at the same time he announced his declination of the Worlds.
âYes. I will continue to be a competitive skaterâ
Asked what his goal is in the next season, he answered:
âI have no thoughts. (In the press conference for comeback announcement last year) I said that going to the Nationals was my goal just because I got asked. I had general goals of building up my skating, showing my best performances whenever I am in front of audiences and to make those happen, I wanted to practice as hard as one would for going back to compete. I really havenât thought about any specific target. I will find one. (LOL)â
In an event in central Tokyo he attended on January 12, he shared that he is planning to have a quad in each of his two programs, Short and Free, and challenging a quad Salchow is also a possibility in addition to quad toe loop, but he doesnât have any certain scores or results in mind. He is just sure about one thing, though.
âNow I am thankful for the environment that allows me to concentrate on skating and my days are so fulfilling. If you ask me what my motivation is, I really donât know the answer. I have no specific goal, but I am simply feeling well motivated regardless, I guess.â
A moment of silence, then he started.
âFor the last two years before Sochi, I could not imagine that I would improve myself. I only had a fear that my peak was over. I had no confidence as I was wondering when my end would come. But I returned to compete now, although my quad jump before the injury (on his knee in 2008) is some other thing, I am sure that my current jump is better than the jump I was doing after the surgery. I was watching the video the other day and thought, âOh, Iâm goodâ (LOL). They are higher, for the axel and generally all the others. My spins are terrible, but my skating quality is better than how I was in the past. Regarding my expression, I may not be able to do like when I was young, but I may have something I only can do now. I feel that I am getting matured in a good way. In that sense, perhaps my peak is yet to come. Therefore, I want to move ahead fully committed.â
He stopped, and he smiled as if he suddenly realized something.
âOh, I see. Thatâs the motivation I got.â
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First published: January 17, 2019, The Web article posted: May 1, 2019
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