Stolen Moments
Crossposted on AO3
Season 1: The first time it happens it’s to forget. Forget the sight of his girlfriend pinned to the ceiling being consumed by fire. So he takes advantage of his brother. His devoted brother who would give him anything. Even this. He spreads his legs and lets his big brother sink into his body. And hopes that the same arms that saved him from the fire can save him from himself. Season 2: The second time it happens it’s out of grief. Grief, that their father tangled them up so much that they can’t live without the other. That his big brother will once again walk into the fire to save him. So he lets Dean take. Take anything that he wants from his body, and pretends his tears are only of pleasure and not heartbreak over his poor brother. Season 3: The third time it happens it’s out of fear. Fear that he’s going to lose him. That he’s going to let down this man that has raised him, and loved him, and protected him. That his promises will be broken and he’ll be left all alone in the world. So he worships Dean. Worships his big brother as if he was a God before he takes him into his body. Wishing his arms could be strong enough to save him from the fire. Season 4: The fourth time it happens it’s out of anger. Anger that Dean doesn’t understand he’s not the only one that went through hell. That he judges his drinking of demon-blood without understanding that he needs it to be strong enough so no one can separate them again. So he attacks. First with words then punches and kicks, scratches and bite marks. He attacks until they’re both covered in bruises and blood and his big brother has pushed him unto the motel room floor and re-claimed him. Season 5: The fifth time it happens it’s goodbye. If everything goes well Lucifer will be gone. And so will he. So he asks. Asks to be held and loved one last time by his brother before selfishly asking him to keep living, to make a life without the person he can’t live without. Season 6: The sixth time it happens he doesn’t remember. He dreams of rough hands and teeth that sink into his neck until the owner’s mouth is filled with blood, of pleasure and pain as his body is roughly taken. (Years later he’ll pretend to be surprised when Dean confesses he’s the owner of the rough hands and sharp teeth from his dreams. And he’ll pretend to believe him when he says it only happened one time.) Season 7: The seventh (and eighth and ninth and tenth) time it happens it’s to anchor himself to reality. His brother’s touch saving him from the fire once again. He concentrates on green eyes and the fingers gripping his hips until he can no longer feel the hellfire licking at his skin. Season 8: The eight-time it happens it’s out of jealousy. His brother is sneaking around with a vampire, and for the first time in his life he fears his position in his big brother’s life will be replaced. So he kicks and claws, he uses every dirty trick he knows until he’s managed to pin Dean to the ground at the dock; he rips his brothers shirt off and marks every inch of his chest and neck as he thrusts against his brother’s clothed cock. Season 9: The ninth time it happens he wants to punish his brother. Wants to make him hurt for being a manipulative bastard who let an angel possess his body. He wields his tongue like a whip and delights in seeing his usually strong big brother crumble under his harsh words, he manipulates him into bed under pretenses of wanting to fix things and breaks him with bite marks and scratches until he’s bruised and bleeding. He takes and takes and takes what he wants from his brother’s body then limps away with Dean’s seed dripping out of him and the taste of his tears on his tongue. Season 10: The tenth time it happens it’s forgiveness. It’s pain. It’s fear. If he doesn’t find a cure he’ll once again lose his big brother; he can’t fail as he did years ago. He guides Dean with gentle hands to the bedroom where he’ll whispers words of comfort and forgiveness as his big brother rocks into him; he’ll look into greens eyes and tell himself that this time he won’t fail, that he’ll save his brother as his brother has saved him so many times before. Season 11: The eleventh time is worship. It’s confirmation that their hearts are still beating, that blood is flowing through their veins. He knows that his ever self-sacrificing brother did something while he thought he was dead, a deal or a trade, but for now he’ll play along, pretend that he believes Dean when he says he didn’t do anything and instead let himself relish in being in his big brothers arms again where he’ll be worshiped with soft kisses and lovingly prepped by his big brother until he’s sobbing for more. Season 12: The twelve time it happens he seeks protection. Those same arms that saved him from the fire and from himself so many years ago will keep the devil away. Lucifer is out there somewhere, but he knows as long as he’s in his brother’s arms nothing can hurt him. No monsters or demons or angels, Heaven and Hell can try but nothing can get past his big brother, not even Lucifer himself; he draws his nails down Dean’s back and pulls him even closer until there’s no space between their bodies and he’s pressed into the bed by his brothers weight, feeling protected from the rest of the world with his brother between his legs. Season 13: The thirteenth time it’s playful. He doesn’t know how he let himself be talked into this, of all the things they’ve done before somehow this, letting his brother fuck him while stuck in a favorite childhood cartoon, seems the most wrong but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t love every second of Dean’s perverse childlike glee as he explores their cartoon bodies. Season 14: The fourteenth time it’s a pact. He rocks on his brothers lap and swears if no other way is found and Dean insists on throwing himself in the ocean, he’s following him down whether along inside the box or with a bullet in his head. He won’t let death separate them. Not again. Season 15: The fifteenth time is affirmation. This is the one thing they know is real; their love and devotion to one another is real, their relationship is real, it’s not some ruse by God. Dean takes him, claims him in the Impala, on the Bunker table, on the floor, on their bed, rough fucks turn into gentle love making; this is the one thing Chuck can’t take away from him and his brother, they won’t let him.




















