@jaay.dah @jaay-dah - Tumblr Blog

what if i’m not happy? i feel like the tables have tured and my love for him is stronger than his for me, i don’t like that.

10/16

i just always want him holding me, i always want him on me, touching me, i crave him

bro i’m in love with this kid. he has not left my head today, i think about us all the time. i love him, and i want a future with him

i love this boy. i think i do. but i don’t know if i love him or i love the way he admires me. maybe i only made a commitment to him because who i really wanted wouldn’t do it for me. did i do this out of spite? will i hurt him? maybe i don’t love him enough. i’m not even sure if i’m over the last boy who i seen as my “dream lover boy.” i’m happy. i’m happy. i’m happy he loves me. i’m happy someone loves me. jaydah please don’t ruin this. you’re gonna ruin it.

6/10

jaay-dah

people in your life will just come and go and the feelings that’s you have for and with that person don’t. to lose someone over and over again makes you feel like you’re watching them die over and over. and to see someone who has been with you through everything leave is like ripping out the first 5 chapters of an 8 chapter book. you’re left to write and finish your own story. you have yourself in this life. i’ve got it all twisted. i thought i could actually depend on them.

fuck bro.

my problems stem from me not ever being good enough

the only thing that’s ever gonna be real is your feelings and those, believe it or not, come and go. you will never feel like he, or whoever you want, is on the same page as you, that is a fantasy. two people in love with eachother and each happy and getting what they both want will never be real, not for me.

i’m not enough and i was never enough, this is why everyone leaves.