i'll stand by you

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: I’ll believe it when I see it! It seems very clear in the way that it /definitely/ means your looming is only ever ominous! I did, she said “I KNOW! He’d kill everyone before they’d even consider buying a gun!” Because this is the most unsettling conversation I’ve ever had with anyone that isn’t Fatima, so I’m taking it as a sign that we should start cutting people off maybe.

Kamilah: Yes! Should I send you what ingredients to pick up for the gingerbread too?

Jabari: And see it you shall. I wouldn't kill people for no reason so unless they were threatening you before buying guns, their lives are safe. Counterpoint, maybe all you need to do is change the subject. Batman already came up, you could ask what they think of Edward Cullen of Twilight fame taking over the role. This magazine claims it matters.

Jabari: Sure, why not?

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🎁 JISOBEL

Isobel: Yes! Huh?A bucket of plain jello is disgusting! What fucking statistics? Perfectly legal adult drinking?

Jabari: And adding alcohol somehow makes it less gross? The statistics about musicians who die because of drinking.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: Your bones look amazing in their little tuxes but it wouldn’t hurt for you to dress them down every once in awhile! Ambiguous HOW? I just asked her again and um, from what I can tell it means you act like everyone just shot me in the spine and you’re trying to stop yourself from killing people???? Maybe you shouldn’t bring back a lot of alcohol?

Kamilah: I could obviously tell, but I didn’t realize it was fun enough for you to admit to it! Fantastic! I need to figure out how to make gingerbread strong enough to sit on ASAP

Jabari: Thank you. And noted. I'll do it if only to prove I can. It seems ambiguous in the way that I don't understand it but I don't understand Shane most of the time, I think. You should tell her that it's more like I'd kill anyone before they shot you in the spine, at least ideally. Why not? People were pretty into the idea of more booze?

Jabari: Well, it is. We need to start making gingerbread trials immediately.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: Nope, all 200 bones are in little tuxedos and have never heard of casual friday, even the teeny tiny ear bones. No, she doesn’t exactly have the vocabulary for that. But “scary shadow guy” or “Batman but everyone in the world is the Joker to [my] Barbara Gordon” did the job effectively enough?

Kamilah: You’re having fun! 😲 We SHOULD go bigger for christmas! WE COULD MAKE IT SNOW IN OUR DORM AND INVITE LUX AND REMAKE ALL THE FURNITURE OUT OF GINGERBREAD!!!

Jabari: Do my bones look good in those little tuxs at least or should they get a wardrobe downgrade? I think both of those phrases could be ambiguous, especially that last one. What does that even mean?

Jabari: Of course I am, you couldn't tell? That would be fantastic. And we could definitely make it happen. I'm in.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: It means you don’t have a casual bone in your body and you most certainly cannot. Yes, but the ominous looming doesn’t help her nervousness at all, I’M sure. Of course, anything for you.

Kamilah: YES! That is so fun! You’re such a party genius! What would I ever do without you?

Jabari: Out of about 200 bones, surely one must be almost a little bit casual. I'm now starting a list of ways in which I can prove it. Did she SAY it was the "ominious looming"? Because if not, you're just assuming.

Jabari: Luckily for the both of us, you'll never have to find out. And luckily for me, I'll never have to throw a party without you, because I could definitely not do this on my own. It's fun though. We should go bigger for Christmas, maybe. I think we can handle it.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: It’s ominous! I don’t even think it’s possible to loom casually, especially not for YOU. Shane does that weird stuttering thing a lot less often when you’re not around. I will and I won’t, I promise!

Kamilah: I did not! Buy us some! We should’ve had funny turkey hats from the beginning! I’m so disappointed in us!

Jabari: What does that mean? I can do casual, probably. And the possibility that I make her nervous for reasons unrelated to how I loom exists, I'm sure. Thank you.

Jabari: I'll get enough for the group. Think of it this way, it'll be a fun surprise for them all.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: ♡♡♡♡ As distracting, wonderful and radiant as I am, I'm sure they'll all still notice if I suddenly don't have a shadow looming ominously in the background. I'm not going to! I have no limits! Except the obvious ones, but still!

Jabari: ♡♡♡♡ I don't loom ominously. I loom casually, I think, or neutrally at the very worst. Okay, good. Take care of yourself and please don't die while I'm gone.

Jabari: Did you know they sell funny turkey hats? I see a ton of them here.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: Not true! And I’ll notice and don’t I count? 🥺😔 But thank you, you’re the best! I can just get people to hang out in the kitchen while I cook, it’s called multitasking!

Jabari: You know you are the only person that counts ♡ but I was talking about the guests who are honestly just here to be dazzled by you and your food, and I can't blame them. You're very distracting. And you're welcome. That's true, it's just I didn't want you to overwork yourself, but you know your limits better than I do.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: I do not! But it’s okay, step out! I’ll be SO entertaining that no one’s even going to notice that you were gone! I knooow but if they keep eating all the food HERE, what can they take home? Can you just bring ingredients for like everything all over again? Except the turkey, I don’t think we don’t have enough time.

Jabari: I doubt people will notice that I was gone were they paid to but I'm sure they'll appreciate that. Okay, I will be as fast as I can, and I'll take the whole shopping list to replenish it as fully as possible. I just don't to see you cooking the rest of the night instead of spending time with your friends, you know?

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🎁 JISOBEL

Isobel: Ugh you're so boring. IDK dude, those buckets of jello shots people sell?

Jabari: For not knowing Mariah Carey? A bucket of Jello is doable. They won't be alcoholic though, I won't be helping you add to the statistics.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 📚 SERAPHARI

Seraphina: Duuuude, I'm so game to cover for not reading the book, especially since this one was such a dud. But I cannot in good faith cover when you're STALKING Kamilah! Isn't the point of you being in book club so you /don't/ end up hiding in the bushes at the mall every time she's out without you?

Jabari: I wish you could pick every week. You easily have the best taste in the club. I don't hide in the bushes. I also don't do it every time, just sometimes, and the last time that I didn't it felt like I was going to unwrap and blow away. I couldn't focus. I couldn't even breathe.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 📚 SERAPHARI

Seraphina: Of course, no problemo! What’s going on?

Jabari: Thanks. And nothing, I just haven't been able to finish much of the newest book and I'd feel ashamed showing up empty-handed. Also Kamilah is going shopping and I want to make sure she's okay. If she asks, I was at book club though, okay?

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🎁 JISOBEL

Isobel: Shall I quote Mariah Carey directly or would you like to make an educated guess?

Jabari: I'd rather you just answer the question outright.

[jabarigamal]

TEXT 🍷 KABARI

Kamilah: YOU’RE going to go out and get some? Hm I don’t know! Is there anything we seem to be low on food wise? I want to be sure there’s enough for everyone to be able to go home with lots and lots of good leftovers and I don’t want to run out of anything people like the most!

Jabari: Unless you have a better solution. Do you? Because I don't want to step out, but the grocery stores aren't delivering on the holiday and you're everybody's favorite host so you should stay and enterain the way only you can. You made more than enough for everybody, Kamilah. The only reason food seems to be running out at all is because everyone is going back for thirds and fourths.

[jabarigamal]

Do you ever wish that you didn’t become mummified with Kamilah for all those centuries?

I have many regrets, but being mummified with @kamilahnefertari could never be one of them. I belong by her side, forever and always.

honesty hour!

[jabarigamal]

what do you plan to do after you graduate from monster u?

I plan to follow @kamilahnefertari wherever she may go, taking care of her while I write my book about what life was like back in the day.

honesty hour!

[jabarigamal]

what is the nature of your relationship with Kamilah?

Simple. @kamilahnefertari is the center of my universe. She's the beginning and the end. I guard her with my life and my afterlife, and her safety and happiness are my top priority. That’s one thing that will never change.

honesty hour!