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OMG THANK YOU SM BABY I MISS INTERACTING WITH YOU TOO<\3
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Summary: Bucky has the biggest crush on you but he can never bring himself to ask you out and he's so done with the teasing everyone else does about it
Warnings: it's very fluffy but also angsty because Bucky thinks very lowly of himself. mutual pining. bucky who yearns. bit of jealously, but does it count if it's because his cat? Everyone say thank you Sam. Bucky who is scared of rejection and who thinks you deserve better than him. patient reader, like omg she's so patient.
Word Count: 2.8k
Present for @buckysdecaflove! Hope you enjoy lovely!
Bucky doesn’t mean for it to happen. It’s just something that sprung up on him the first time he met you. When Steve brought you to Wakanda and introduced you two with this stupid smug grin on his face like he knew exactly what was about to happen.
You put your hand out and looked at him like he was just Bucky. You smiled at him and told him your name. And Bucky’s brain short circuited for a solid ten seconds.
He hates that that was your first impression of him. How he immediately felt hot and struggled to say his own name back. And then he did and he knew that was stupid because Steve had told you about him. You already knew his name.
But it isn’t until years later. Years that hadn’t been years to him because they passed in a blink of an eye for him. When quiet had settled within the Avengers Compound and slow days rolled in.
It wasn’t until the afternoons where you’d had a second cup of coffee at the kitchen island with him while he had his first because he didn’t wake until 11 unless he had to be up. Words barely spoken. The days where you’d casually mention a book you’d read and Bucky would find himself writing it down so he could see what you like. The nights where you’d both be in the gym together and he’d keep an eye on you while you lifted something heavy.
It wasn’t until then did he realize just how fucked he was.
You were the best part of his day without even trying to be and that made it so much worse.
It’s stupid--not you. Him and the way he acts. He’s a grown ass man, not a school boy, his brain shouldn’t just stop working because you smiled or hell even looked at him.
You also deserve better. You don’t deserve rough and bloodied hands. You don’t deserve someone who can barely sleep peacefully through the night. You don’t deserve someone as haunted as him.
What you deserve is the world and he wishes he could give it to you.
~
The smell of coffee brewed earlier this morning lingered in the kitchen and mixed with the faint scent of burnt toast from the bottom of the toaster that no one had gotten around to cleaning out.
Sunlight comes in through just the right - or wrong - angle through the wide windows that make it bounce off the polished floor and shine far too brightly then it has any right to.
There’s stillness in the space, the kind that comes from the quiet, the kind that settles a pounding heart--a kind that makes Nat’s and Yelena’s chatter from the other end of the room nothing more than a buzz that Bucky tunes out easily.
It’s far too early--earlier than Bucky likes to be up, but Sam had other ideas. He walked into his room like he belonged there and dragged Bucky out of bed. Literally. Sam ignored Bucky’s threats and just yanked his blanket, taking Bucky with it with a harsh thud onto the floor and then into the hall.
THANK GOD you didn’t see. He had been in just his boxers after all.
But now Bucky was up and his mind had no intention of falling back asleep after training anytime soon so he settled on breakfast and coffee. Strong coffee that kept Bucky from sneering at Sam.
Who wakes up at seven for sparring!?
Bucky should, at least, be able to push Sam down the stairs.
“Oh, mornin’ Bucky! You’re up early!”
He nearly choked on his cereal at the sound of your angelic voice and nearly got whiplash as his head cranked in your direction, still struggling to get his food down correctly. With his face turning red—it’s just the food, no one can make him admit otherwise.
There’s a smile on your face, it’s sweet and soft, and makes every wall he built crumble immediately. It makes his stomach twist and his heart pound wildly in his ears like a hammer.
Maybe mornings aren’t so bad after all. Not if he gets to see you.
Bucky swallows, thickly, attempting to force down the logs that suddenly formed in his throat, but the action is in vain. His mouth moves but words struggle to roll off his tongue as his gaze follows you while you move towards the fridge.
“Hey.. Mornin’...” He finally manages to say and instantly curses at himself internally.
You pull out the cake Torres made yesterday that somehow survived to today. “You and Sam heading out?” You ask, helping yourself to the last slice.
Bucky looked down at himself, then remembered why you were asking; because of the time. “No. He dragged me outta bed to spar.”
You hummed in response and licked a piece of frosting that got on your finger and Bucky’s brain malfunctioned entirely.
“That sounds like him. Y’know he tried to get me to join too, but I already promised Wanda we’d head to the farmer’s market this morning. We brought back a lot, but I got some plum jar for you, it’s in the pantry. I tasted some myself. Had to make sure it was good before I bought it,” you rambled, rambling that Bucky could listen to for hours.
Instead, he blinked. “You got me jam?” he asked slowly.
You nodded like it was no big deal. “You like plums,” you said so simply, voice muffled from the bite you took, and finally turned, leaning against the counter.
Fuck, you were beautiful. Eyes that marveled the heavens. A smile that made his knees weak. And a touch that was ungodly gentle compared to how you treat your enemies.
He realized you had said something else and were looking at him with a furrowed brow. “Buck? You good?”
He nodded quickly. “Yeah, yeah, fine. Just--. Just tired.”
Your face crinkled in the sweetest way, not pity, but still care. You pushed off the counter, plate in one hand, and moved towards him. “I’ll tell Sam he’s gotta let you get enough sleep.” Your hand fell on his shoulder and even through the fabric of his henley it felt like his skin was on fire. You can’t keep looking at him like that. It’s not fair. Not when he could never be more than just this to you. “And then he can mess with you. After the eight hours.”
He couldn’t take his eyes off yours. “I’m afraid that’s easier said than done,” he murmured.
You snorted. A noise so close to your laugh that he adored. “True,” you mused. “We are Avengers. See you later.” and squeezed his shoulder.
He nodded. “See you later,” he mumbled as he watched you walk away, longing shimmering in his steel blue gaze.
The space is quiet for a solid five seconds after you leave, your footsteps growing dimmer down the hall, and Bucky realized who was still in the room as he turned and saw them.
Nat and Yelena were grinning, eyes swimming with mischief, and it made Bucky’s stomach sink because he knew what was coming.
“Coward,” Natasha muttered in Russian.
And so it had begun.
Bucky sighed, heavily and slumped forward in his seat.
They did this every time.
“Are you going to wipe off your drool from the floor?” Yelena asked.
“Y’know normal people ask out their crushes, not whatever the hell you’re doing,” Nat mused and sipped from her coffee while searching for Bucky’s gaze--something he refused to give either of them.
Bucky wanted to sink into the floor. “Do you have to do this?” he grumbled.
“Talking to a woman isn’t as hard as she makes you.”
Death would be too good of a punishment for Yelena.
The stool squeaked from under Bucky as he prominently stood up, taking his bowl with him.
But Yelena kept going. “It’s literally so easy. It’s ten words. ‘Would you like to go on a date with me?’ Then you eat her out. Every woman wants that. Hey! You always have to let a woman finish before you leave!”
~
It’s game night when someone finds the chance to tease him about you again and it’s Sam this time.
It’s stupid. He shouldn’t even be staring--there shouldn’t be jealous churning in his gut, but there is.
You're sitting on the floor, back brushing against Wanda’s leg, and in your lap is Alpine. You’ve got her face in your hands and you’re giving her soft little pecks as you consistently mutter how Alpine is such a good girl. How Alpine is such a princess.
And Alpine is eating it up. She’s no doubt purring as she just lets it happen. As she just leans into your touch. It’s like Alpine knows Bucky is watching.
He wants that to be his face you’re holding. His face that you’re kissing. But it’s his damn cat.
You’re completely ignoring the chaos around the coffee table. So is he. He isn’t even aware of whose turn it is. He’s just watching you pet Alpine.
It’s strange that Alpine is letting you do this. She hates everyone. She hates Steve for fucks sake. The first time Bucky introduced them after he brought the feline home she tore up Steve’s arm and they had to get the blood stains outta the couch. But for some reason she liked you, basically as much as she liked Bucky.
Bucky never questioned why she liked you. Of course, Alpine has great taste in people. But that still didn’t mean it wasn’t odd to see at first.
“Are you glaring at your own cat?” Sam whispered into his ear as he leaned over.
Bucky’s jaw ticked and he looked away from you. That lasted about five seconds.
“You can’t seriously be jealous.”
He was and it was so stupid.
Alpine was getting to do something Bucky has wanted to do for months. How was that fair?
“You could just go over and talk to her.”
No. Bucky already knows what happens when he tries to do that. He’d much rather become one with the ground than make a foul of himself. Again.
Sam sighed. “Happiness is not this hard. Dude, you walked into a wall because you were too busy staring at her last week and she noticed. You genuinely can not be anymore obvious.”
No. You had seen the aftermath. If you had noticed the fact that he had been staring at you then he would’ve probably jumped out the window.
“Maybe I should give Joaquin 50 bucks to ask her out,” Sam mused.
Bucky’s chin snapped in Sam’s direction.
Sam snorted. “You’re hopeless,” he said bluntly.
Sam wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t. First off, giving someone money to ask someone out. That was an insult to the recipient. Sam wouldn’t do that to you. Not even to get Bucky to finally man up. Right?
~
Bucky didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.
He stared at the ceiling, unable to get the things that played in his mind to go away.
Joaquin showing up to your room with flowers. Joaquin flashing that flirty grin your way. Joaquin taking you out like Bucky wanted to do.
You saying yes.
You wouldn’t say yes, would you? You didn’t like Joaquin like that. But you were single. Bucky knew that. And Joaquin was right there. Joaquin was sweet and… not broken. He wasn’t someone who got woken up in the middle of the night by nightmares that left his skin damp with sweat. He wasn’t someone who looked down and saw blood dripping from his hands.
You deserved the world, not someone who was haunted by his past.
“She wouldn’t, right?” He murmured to the furball curled up against his leg.
Alpine’s eyes opened at the sound of his voice.
“It wouldn’t happen,” he insisted.
But…
“She deserves to be happy.”
His jaw ticked.
“I could make her happy,” he blurted.
He made her smile. He made her laugh. Sometimes so hard she would snort and clutch her stomach. When has Joaquín done that?
But there was so much blood on his hands. So much pain he caused.
“You think I could make her happy?”
Alpine merely only blinked at him before her chin returned to her paws and her tail flicked on top of her pink nose.
Bucky let out a frustrated breath. “I’m not overthinking this. I’m thinking about this the correct amount.”
Alpine didn’t even grace him with a sigh.
“You rub it in just because you can and I know you do.”
This wouldn’t be the first time he’s talked to Alpine about you and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.
“If she says no then we’re moving to a different country, you know that right? I don’t think I could show my face ever again.”
There was a soft thump as he lay back down. “I just need to get over this crush. That’s all.”
~
By eight he’s outside your bedroom, pacing like a madman.
He shouldn’t be out here and he knows he shouldn’t but he is anyway, and every time he turns around to walk away he stops in his tracks and returns to the line he’s been walking back and forth for the past 40 minutes.
Coward.
The word rings in his ears.
He used to be able to do this with ease. He used to crack that smile that always had dames swooning. He used to know what the right thing to say was.
But that was so long ago and you weren’t just anyone. You were his friend. You were someone he trusted. You were someone too good to lose.
He needed to leave. He needed to return to his room before you showed your face and saw him out here.
But the way you looked at him. The way you always relaxed when he was in the room. The way you always fell asleep on missions so quickly when he was there.
He raised his knuckles but drew it back immediately.
Would you like to go on a date with me? Please?
No. No. That sounded desperate.
He was desperate.
Could I take you out on a date?
I think I’m in love with you.
No. Absolutely not.
He can’t do this.
You’re going to reject him. You’re going to rip out his heart and throw it onto the floor.
He’s going to have to move. Maybe running from those bounty hunters in Madripoor would be a better fate than hearing your rejection.
The door opened and Bucky froze like a deer in headlights. Heat instantly flooded across his skin and his clothes felt way too tight.
You startled, not expecting anyone to be standing there, and he cursed internally at himself for making you react like that.
Your hair is a mess and your sleep wear wrinkled.
And the softness that comes with the traces of sleep that lingers erases at the sight of him.
Shit.
You put a hand over your chest. “Oh—Jeez. Don’t—. Hey, Bucky.”
Fuckin’ idiot.
A sheepish look passes over his heated face. “Hey. Hi.”
Hi???
Her brows furrow and she glances over his shoulder for a moment. “Whatcha doing outside my door?” You asked, lightly.
“Nothing. Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
Fuuuuucccckk
“… it’s not nothing,” he admitted quietly.
And you waited. You always waited. You never rushed him, not with anything that wasn’t life or death.
“I had a question.”
Still that patience you always held for him stuck to your face.
He swallowed thickly
“… would you… wouldyougoonadatewithme?” He finally blurted and immediately wanted to become one with the floor.
He didn’t wait for your response, he just looked down.
Something soft swam across your face, it came with the way your heart clenched and stomach twisted in knots.
Your lips ticked up, not amused, just fond. “Could you repeat that?” You asked even though you had heard him.
He took a deep breath as he squeezed his eyes shut and leaned against the doorframe. “Would you go on a date with me?” He asked, forcing the words to roll out slower.
He peered up and realized how flushed you were. How you were looking at him like that. So fondly.
You smiled. “I was waiting for you to ask.”
He blinked. “You knew?”
You nodded. “I suspected and you aren’t exactly the most subtle man about it,” you admitted.
Then that softness melted into something shy and your eyes flickered down. “But I just wanted to make sure you wanted this.” You gestured between them. “That you took the time you needed. I didn’t want to rush you,” you said gently.
He searched for your gaze. “I want this,” he blurted firmly. “I want you.”
You gazed up and tried to fight the smile that threatened to come to your lips. “Tonight?”
He nodded eagerly. “I’ll pick you up at seven.”
“See you then, Bucky.”
His skin buzzed. His heart hammered. And his stomach twisted in a million different ways. “See you then,” he murmured and quickly turned on his heels, hoping you wouldn’t see the smug smile on his lips and hoping you didn’t see the way he punched the air when he thought he was far enough away.
Tags: fluff, head over heels Bucky, established relationship
Summary : bookstore with Bucky
Bibliosmia: the pleasant smell and aroma of a new (or any) book, caused by the gradual chemical breakdown of compounds used within the paper
~
There’s nothing quite like that warm feeling in his chest that arrives when he sees her. It hums like someone plucks at a string or cord between them and he finds himself absolutely enthralled. And when she lights up, beaming with a smile that reaches her eyes there isn’t a part of him that doesn’t absolutely melt.
He lives for it. He breathes for every moment he gets with her. And he feels so out of her league but never once questions that she is any less infatuated with him than he is of her.
He peers over her shoulder at the summary of a book she’s reading. He takes in the way she subconsciously always taps her finger along the spine while she debates getting it.
She’s so pretty when she’s concentrating.
Not to say she isn’t always. She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen.
But it’s the small crease between her brow and the way she bites the inside of her cheek. He has the thought of poking her cheek just to watch a blush grow on her face. It’s been too long since she’s blushed. Four minutes but still too long. But he refrains himself.
“Okay,” she declares and looks up. She holds the book to her chest. “This one sounds interesting enough to try.”
He reaches out and takes the book from her. She tries to stop him and it's cute, really, but he just tucks the book into the pile of both of theirs he’s carrying with little to no effort at all.
She raised a brow. “I can carry my own books, y’know.”
He kissed her cheek. “Just because you can doesn’t mean you should have to. Besides, you like watching me carry stuff.” He’s wearing a jacket but makes a show of flexing.
She rolled her eyes but a smile twitched at the corners of her lips. “Yeah—yeah,” she muttered, trying so hard not to sound amused.
She glanced around the bookstore as if that’d do anything to hide the flush on her face. “At this rate I’mma need a new bookshelf.”
“I’ll build you one,” he said simply.
She didn’t look at him, eyes still scanning a shelf but she smiled and pretended like she wasn’t at all touched by the thought.
He catalogued her reaction.
“I wanna scan the history section before we go,” Bucky declared.
She nodded and walked in stride with him.
He could smell her perfume. The slight waft of it as their arms brushed. It mixed with the sweet scent of books from all around them.
He switched all the books to one arm just to hold her hand.
She leaned closer and his ears buzzed. “We should get something sweet after this,” she murmured. “I’m thinking, Eloise’s.”
The bakery a few streets over.
Chocolate sounded perfect right now.
He nodded. “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”
God, he loved quiet days like this.
~
I didn’t see the need to use keep reading when it’s so short but I apologize if it’s too long not to use it
Omg this isn’t my Professor/Librarian!Bucky 😬. Sorry about that. This was a spur of the moment.
Well it's BNW Bucky for me but I couldn't decide between thunderbolts gala Bucky, tfatws Bucky or BNW Bucky. He looks handsome in all these suits tho 🥰🫠
