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Hold Up. Wait A Minute.

Remember what you were told growing up about paying too much attention to time passing?

"If you stare at the clock, it'll only go slower."

And just when you stopped really focusing on the clock and started focusing on what you were doing, just like that, time started to fly.

You didn't realize it then, but you were staring at the plumb-line of your situation, waiting for it to end. You were focusing on the constant in your experiment while you waited for the variables to change. Time was your only problem, since you were essentially waiting for the next thing to happen, and you weren't exactly satisfied with what you were doing at the time.

Almost every night at work, I find myself at some point watching the digital clock, and normally during my downtime after I've finished clearing tables or polishing silverware. It feels like an eternity for one minute to become the next, and I get extremely anxious for the time when my boss says, "You're cut. Get on outta here."

Even more anxiety-inducing for me is looking at the bigger picture. I earnestly desire to be in a place where I'm back in full-time, vocational ministry, serving in a local church as a staff member and making an impact in that way.

And then I look at right now. I'm bussing tables currently, about to transition into a job at a coffee shop. I'm honestly the furthest away from working in a church, minus the fact that I'm interacting with people.

Truthfully, I'm empty. As I write this, almost a week out of being at FUGE camps and doing ministry work, I feel so very unfulfilled with the rest of my life. At times, I feel like I'm in a place where I never should've gone, choosing to walk through a door that only looked attractive in theory, but not in practice. I question whether or not I actually listened to God's voice when moving here to Nashville, or if I chose my own path and sought God's blessing after the fact.

Maybe you've been here too. Maybe you've had a time in your life where you're waiting for your goal and dreams to come to fruition. You're asking God, "Why me, God? Why do I have to go through this now?" You've been faithful to seek after God, you've walked in holiness, you've held on to hope, but you've seen nothing come of it.

We go through times where God seems distant, quiet, or sometimes even non-existent. We feel like our prayers hit the ceiling and never make it to God in the first place. So what do we do with what we feel?

I can promise you that in the course of human history, especially in biblical history, we are not alone. We aren't the only ones to have questioned God's faithfulness, timing, and/or leading in the times of waiting. I would go as far to say that there is some instance or component of waiting found in all 66 books of Scripture. Ever since the Fall, there has been a sense of waiting for the promise to come: in the Old Testament, the promised Savior; and in the New Testament through modern times, the return of the promised Savior.

As I survey Scripture, waiting is prominent and sometimes prolonged:

Noah built the Ark, waiting amidst criticism and ridicule for the promised rain to come.

Abraham and Sarah waited until their old ages for Isaac to be born.

Jacob worked and waited 7 years for Rachel, but his uncle Laban tricked him into marrying Leah, and then Jacob worked and waited another 7 years in order to marry Rachel for real.

The Israelites waited 400 years for freedom from Egypt, and then another 40 years to get to the promised land.

The Israelites also had to wait for the promised land to be fully theirs, having to conquer the foreign peoples that inhabited the land before they could settle it.

Naomi's sons died, and had to wait until her old age for her daughter-in-law Ruth to have a son.

Ruth herself had to wait on Boaz to redeem her.

David was anointed the next king of Israel, but had to wait years in order to actually become king.

Upon going into exile, the Israelites waited 70 years for their return back to their land.

The prophets wrote of their waiting for the promised Savior to come and redeem their people.

The Israelites once again waited 400 years between Malachi and Matthew, called the Intertestamental Period.

Jesus Himself waited 30 years before He began His earthly ministry, which lasted 3 years.

The disciples had to wait 3 days for Jesus to rise from the dead.

After Jesus ascended, they then had to wait until the Day of Pentecost to receive the Holy Spirit.

Paul wrote to the church at Thessalonica twice about waiting on Christ's return: once about waiting while working, and once about working while waiting.

Paul waited many times for his own death, being imprisoned twice in Rome.

John waited on the island of Patmos in exile for his death, writing his gospel account and receiving his vision that was written in Revelation.

This is by no means exhaustive, but it's pretty clear that waiting is woven into the very threads of Christianity. It's at the center of our DNA. We wait for that which is to come, the time where we will, with unveiled face, behold the glory of the Lord (2 Cor. 3:18).

These echoes of waiting found within daily life, the waiting for time to pass and for the next situation to come, even further solidify that our longings are more than just surface level. We watch and observe our situations and wonder, "When will this ever end? When will I ever come out on the other side? When will what I feel You've called me to become reality?"

While we wait, what should we do? How should we act? How do we make the waiting go by faster, or at least make the best use of our waiting?

Seek biblical holiness. The only way that God can move you from where you are to where He wants you is if you're actively pursuing Him. If you aren't seeking a deepening relationship with Jesus above all else, then you won't be able to experience the beautiful things that God has in store for you, nor will you be able to understand why you went through the situations through which you went.

Don't neglect the spiritual disciplines. Don't stop reading Scripture, don't stop praying, don't stop worshipping, don't stop serving, don't stop engaging in community. These are the practical ways you can seek biblical holiness, and these are the ways the you continue learning more about God's character.

Listen more than you talk. Both in your spiritual walk and relationships, make sure you're taking the time to listen to the observations and words that God and your friends are saying. God uses people in our close circles to speak His truth to us in unexpected ways. Test what you're hearing against Scripture, and press into the truth.

Ask hard questions. Assess where you are in your life, and ask yourself the questions you've honestly been avoiding. Are you actually following what God wants, or asking Him to bless your isolate choices? Is the life you're living now the one that God has for you, or have you created a life independent of Him? Don't stop asking until you've found the answers.

Yes, I'm empty. Yes, I'm frustrated with how things are right now. And yes, I have a holy discontentment with not being in ministry. But I have to wait. I have to press into my relationship with Jesus. I have to work on myself and make myself ready for what God has next.

Here's where I ask you for help. I don't normally do this, and haven't ever really done this in a blog post. I honestly hate asking for help from anyone because I like being self-sufficient and independent.

Please pray for me. Pray specifically that a door would open up to return to full-time ministry. Pray that God would work a miracle in my situation to allow me to get back into working at a church.

If you're reading this and you're on a church staff, looking for a staff member to work in the creative arts/communications areas, please contact me. I'd love to send you my résumé or CV.

If you're on a church staff and know a church looking for a staff member to work in the creative arts/communications areas, please contact me as well.

To make it easy for you to get in contact with me, please fill out this form and I'll get back with you ASAP.

I don't care where it is. I don't care in what capacity. I don't necessarily care about how much I get paid.

All I care about is getting back into the work to which God has called me. All I want is to do the work I'm wired to do.

I'll keep you updated as this journey continues on. I hope to have something for you soon, but I can't and won't make promises. All I ask is that you pray.

#god #waiting #theology #bible #jesus

Doubt And The Fight Against It

I'm naturally a skeptic. It takes a large amount of convincing for me to believe that something is happening, or that something is real, without seeing it for myself.

The list of instances in my life like this is a mile long.

I was skeptical about moving to Nashville actually working out back in February.

I was skeptical that Trump was actually going to win the Republican nomination. Still kind of skeptical that it's real, but that's beside the point.

I'm still skeptical about the fact that I'm where I'm supposed to be, and that I'll be able to either get back into ministry or do anything with music full-time.

I'm skeptical about finding any job other than working at a restaurant.

I could continue, but that would be belaboring my point.

If I'm super honest, sometimes I still have doubts about if God is listening or working in my life. There are times when I feel like my prayers are just utterances into the air, and times when I can't feel God's presence.

Maybe you've been there too. Maybe you've had your doubts about God, or about God being present at all. Maybe you're there right now, wondering if your tough situation will end soon, if you'll get a job, if your prayers will be answered at all.

After being in church ministry for a few years, and sitting in lectures upon lectures about the different denominations, what they believe, and why they exist, I feel like I'm finally able to call myself a church history nerd. Here's why that's important: our current denominations have division and find their existence over how God's presence is manifested.

While I know enough to be dangerous, I am no expert. These are just surface level explanations about the differences; nothing exhaustive, just basic information.

Baptists, while not outright denying the continuation of the spiritual gifts, hold to a stance that, in summary, amounts to the fact that God works primarily through Scripture, more or less limiting revelation to the canon.

Pentecostals/Charismatics rely more consistently on the spiritual gifts, maintaining that revelation and inspiration are still occurring independent from Scripture.

Presbyterians are primarily staunchly in their stance that revelation is only through Scripture, and that the spiritual gifts were only for use in the early Church.

Like I said, not exhaustive by any means, but the major denominational stances differ quite vastly.

On the regular, I find myself asking for signs. I seem to be asking for God to prove His existence. Yeah, I led a ministry and led within ministries, but I have my moments where I lack faith and ask for signs.

This isn't new to God. This isn't some newly asked question of Him. In fact, it's probably the most commonly asked question in our prayers, not just in present days, but in days of old as well.

Moses met face-to-face with God, showing the Israelites that this was a sacred practice of meeting with God.

All throughout the Old Testament, God's presence was physically manifested in the Holy of Holies in the Tent Of Meeting, making it a regular practice for the Jews to ask God's Spirit to fall.

When the Israelites went into exile, there was a physical exit of the presence of God from the temple, leading the Jews to ask for God's presence to return.

Jesus even said the Jews were a people of signs and wonders.

Look at John 4:48, when Jesus was talking to the woman at the well.

So Jesus said to him, “Unless you see signs and wonders you will not believe.”

God knows that we are looking for proof. He knows that we want some sort of tactile representation to confirm that He's real. He knows that I still have my doubts when times are hard and I can't feel Him working.

From personal experience, here's what I've learned about this subject: God never leaves us, but there are times where He does allow us to listen to ourselves in order to see our selfishness. By letting us hear how self-centered we are, He reminds us that His life and His operation is about Him and not us.

It's like He places a mirror in front of us to really see who we are, revealing our weaknesses and our imperfections so we can stop and say, "Okay, God. I'm listening. Some might call this what John Chrysostom called the "Dark Night Of The Soul," where God seems distant and quiet but is in fact just as close as He has ever been.

The truth, however hard it is to remember, is that we as believers are never without God's presence. Through the coming of the Holy Spirit, we have unfettered access to His grace, mercy, and love, and we can approach the throne without hesitation.

When it seems like God's presence is absent, here's what I tell myself:

God will never leave nor forsake me (Deut. 31:6).

As His temple, His Spirit dwells within me (1 Cor. 3:16).

There's nothing that could separate me from Him (Rom. 8:31-39).

God's timing is perfect, and His answers always come when they're supposed to (Rom. 5:6).

Yeah, it sometimes really sucks when things are so far from being ideal, and when it feels like God is silent, but we have this hope that God is for those whom He has redeemed, and if we seek Him, He will be found.

#theology

standdisc

jacobrray

I'm crying. This is hilarious.

vilify-me

Date someone who is interested in you. I don’t mean someone who thinks you’re cute or funny. I mean someone who wants to know every insignificant detail about you. Someone who wants to read every word you write. Someone who wants hear every note of your favourite song, and watch every scene of your favourite movie. Someone wants to find every scar upon your body, and learn where each one came from. Someone who wants to know your favourite brand of toothpaste, and which quotes resonate deep inside your bones when you hear them. There is a difference between attraction and interest. Find the person who wants to learn every aspect of who you are, and hold onto them.

Anonymous (via alunit)

tresbongout

1.) A handshake is worth more than an autograph or selfie. 2.) No “good ideas” happen after 2am. 3.) Spending $5 at a kid’s lemonade stand will make you ten times as happy as spending $5 at your local coffee shop. 4.) Buy nice pieces of furniture one at a time and keep them for years. 5.) Confidence and humor trump good looks every time. 6.) When at a theme park, ask if you can sit in the front seat. You might have to wait five minutes longer, but it’ll always be worth it. 7.) Never be afraid to put a wager on something with a friend, but always pay your debts immediately. 8.) Pushing someone into a pool is never a good idea. Especially when you have to replace a $600 iPhone half the time. 9.) When parking is tough, valet is almost always worth it. Keep some emergency tens in your glove compartment for times when you don’t have cash on you. 10.) You’ll be happier and more confident in a clean car, regardless of the make and model, so try to get it washed as often as possible. 11.) Your significant other will never tire of receiving flowers, but it’s best to do is right. Avoid the half hearted bouquet wrapped in see-through plastic with a grocery store sticker on it and build a relationship with a local florist instead. 12.) If you catch a baseball at a ball game, never keep it for yourself. Find the youngest kid near you and toss it to him or her. 13.) Always hold the door open. 14.) A thoughtful handwritten thank you note goes an extremely long way. 15.) Keychain and wallet–two things that should never be large and clunky. 16.) Paying a little extra to get out of the cheap seats is almost always worth it. 17.) When traveling, try to fully unpack. Hang your clothes in the closet and put your bag away. It’s easier to relax and be comfortable when you’re not living out of a suitcase. 18.) There’s absolutely nothing wrong with going to the movies by yourself, especially if it’s a matinee. 19.) There’s also nothing wrong with sneaking wine into the movies, unless it’s a matinee. 20.) Investing in quality bed sheets, pillows, and bath towels is money well spent. 21.) For most people, not everyone, it’s not worth having a serious girlfriend until after you graduate college. Summer flings should provide enough relationship experience. 22.) Never use a selfie stick. 23.) Starting your mornings with pushups before jumping in the shower is a great way to begin your AM. 24.) Have a favorite band, a favorite song, a favorite book, and a favorite movie. 25.) Invite people personally, not through Facebook or email. 26.) Never attend a (post college) dinner party or house party without a gift for the host. 27.) A graphic tee is (almost) always a bad idea. You’re essentially a walking advertisement. 28.) Posting about politics on social media is only bad form if you’re rude, brash, or inconsiderate. 29.) Few guys can pull of a goatee or mustache. Think you’re one of them? 30.) If you’re unsure of the dress code, wear a suit. 31.) There’s a big difference between playfully teasing her and just being rude. 32.) Never buy a new car if you’re pulling in less than seven figures a year. Buy used or lease. 33.) Never buy a car at night. 34.) Avoid fast food at all costs. 35.) Don’t drink calories. 36.) Adding two dozens spammy hashtags to your Instagram post is for those who think their life isn’t good enough to get likes on its own. 37.) Strippers are for lowlifes, even at a bachelor party. 38.) With first dates, try something different than dinner and a movie, she’s done that song and dance a couple dozen times before. 39.) DVR is good for a lot of things, but not for the big game. 40.) Don’t ask her to marry you unless you’re 250% sure she’ll say yes. 41.) Listening to non-fiction audiobooks when driving is a good way to take in a lot of useful information when you’d otherwise be subject to bad radio ads. 42.) Tip well and treat servers and bartenders with massive amounts of respect. 43.) Never be the center of attention on the dance floor if you’re the drunkest guy at the wedding. 44.) Meet her at her door, not your car. 45.) Always be reading a book. 46.) Never talk about your gym routine or diet. Let the results speak for themselves. 47.) Learn to cook a signature meal. 48.) Never wear a suit off the rack. Taking it to your tailor is worth every penny. 49.) Learn a thing or two about wine, it’s worth it. 50.) Want what you have. That’s happiness.

50 Life Tips every Man should consider, Airows (via finegoodsfinefolk)

50 is important !

(via kathyalexa)

lev-myszkin

my friend just texted me “it’s not acceptable that trump feels good about himself and you don’t” and i think it’s the most motivational thing i’ve ever read

sturtlovinggood

Steve Harrington x Jean-Ralphio

jacobrray

This. Is. PERFECT. He's totally Jean-Ralphio before Jean-Ralphio was Jean-Ralphio.

dryyoureyes-startbelieving

sirgawin

It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life.

J. R. R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring (via both-seeker-and-sought)

deeplovephotography

just-shower-thoughts

Many epic tales are about a hero on a quest to obtain a mystical object. LOTR is the only one where the hero owns the mystical object at the start and goes on a quest to dispose of it.

avowab-bassoo

Biblically, waiting is not just something we have to do until we get what we want. Waiting is part of the process of becoming what God wants us to be.

John Ortberg (via color-movement)

This is good. Our theology of waiting directly informs our process of sanctification.