*Warning this post contains rude words and accusations against men*
I am very into astrology and I always have been, sun sign, moon sign; rising sign… whatever, if it aids in the explanation of certain personality traits then I am interested. So the other night my friend and I were talking about moon signs and she mentioned to me that she felt there was a sign missing from a normal astrological reading; the prick sign. She explained to me that there was no normal sign that the behaviors of two of the biggest bastards of our lives could fall in line with.
This led me to wonder if she was on to something so I set my fingers to Google and conducted my own little experiment. Firstly I compared two of my greatest love’s signs and funnily enough they had the same sign in Venus (The love sign). I wondered if this was the ‘Prick sign’. Could I escape future heartbreak by avoiding men with Venus in Aries? So I looked a little deeper and did some more comparisons and then did some compatibility charts and ironically I was most compatible with those whose Venus sign was in Aries. So after wasting all of this energy I realized it was not possible (for me at least) to pin point the ‘prick sign’ through sign comparison!
However I couldn't help thinking, how great would it be if you could identify a man by his prick sign, his one overwhelming trait which helped determine which kind of prick he was. Just like those born under the sign of Sagittarius are known to be tactless, a man born under the sign of the Mouth could be known to talk a lot of shit. So when your friends ask you what sign your ex was you just say ‘The BF’ and no one needs anymore details!
Now I know no man is going to adopt these signs but for fun I thought I would put together my twelve signs of the prick. Not to be mistaken with 12 signs to tell a man is a prick but these are individual characteristics each fitting to their own sign. I have no doubt there are more than twelve types of prick out there because originally I thought I would struggle to find 12 and the way the pen wrote down all twelve so easily is not to be laughed at.
This guy talks and talks a lot. A lot of shit that is. He is full of himself, ideas and plans. None materialize. He likes to hear his own voice.
Represented by the symbol of bleeding lips. This man needs to lie to survive. He lies about everything. He will tell you it is raining outside even though you've just come back from the beach. His need to lie is made stronger by the fact that you don’t question anything because you can’t understand why someone would need to lie to you about the last time they watched Eastenders.
The cheat is a big dick of the prickiac. He cheats indiscriminately and non discretely. He needs no reason to cheat and laughs off your suspicions as if you are crazy despite you having video, photographic and text evidence. He is usually very charming which allows him to lie to you and leave many a bawling woman in his wake.
Mr soon come will have you waiting on him at every opportunity. You will probably spend more of your relationship waiting on him than with him. Waiting for him to call, waiting for him to message you, waiting for him to come, waiting to meet his friends… the list goes on.
One minute he is such into you the next you could be some stranger he passed on the street. He changes his personality so often you start to say forget it, then the nice him shows up and you rethink your decision only to be treated like a bloody inconvenience again.
Represented by a tinted 4x4
The road man and all that goes with him can tie into so many other prick signs he is one of the real rodents of the prickiac. Too busy making money to be with you, lies at every corner so that they don’t have to hear your moaning, cheats because it’s acceptable when you live that road life and expects you to be cool with it because you ‘knew what he was about’ from the start.
Represented by the … empty wallet
He may have money, he may not. All you know is whenever you are with him you seem to be putting your hand in your purse. He’s always going to give it back to you yet the money never finds its way to you.
This man really does believe you are lucky to be with him, no, actually he is too good for you. He will drop little hints to remind you of this and openly flaunt his female admirers in front of you so you know that you can be replaced if you don’t treat him like the king that he is.
If there is anyone to blame, it is you. It is your fault that you two argue, it is your fault that he lied and it is your fault that he slipped and fell into the girl he met at a rave. You are crazy, you are in the wrong and he is a victim of your insanity. Yep that finger is happily pointed at you.
Represented by a man holding a baby.
Now even though the relationship ended yonks ago and he is with you , the BF still thinks it is ok to sleep with the mother of his child/children. Instantly playing her off as crazy to you he forgets to mention he falls back into her bed at his convenience.
Usually an ex or first love. He knows how much you once loved him and sees it as a weakness for him to abuse whenever he feels he needs some nostalgia or is bored in his current situation. He knows he can pretty much get things back how they were and will make promises of a future to secure the deal. You will banish him from your life but he will find his way back time and time again and just when you say he can’t do anything else to screw you over, he will outdo himself.
Think of your MFC and then think of the girl he is dating while he continues to make promises of forever to you. This is the Borrowed. He is someone else’s MFC and has yet to let that old thing go. He keeps her there for the just in case and wonders why it upsets you that he and his ex still talk on that level.
So those are the twelve signs of my Prickiac and although I can’t help you to detect one at least you now have a name to identify which prick you are dealing with!
andulkaphoto
annaxmalina
prguitarman
stormborns
gummygunk
baratheonpilled
ellievsbear
snowghoul
