“Here we go again, I think, as I pull you closer, letting you in, already preparing myself to throw you back out again. It’s always like this. It’s always been like this. I do not need you, I’m convinced, but once you’re over the threshold I’m too weak to tell you to leave. Nails scraping over skin, this is not what I want. Your breath in my hair, this is not what I need. But I don’t know how to be different around you. I don’t know how to talk to you, so it always ends like this. You once told me you would have me without my armour or you wouldn’t have me at all, so I decided to give you a secret every time you came over. Some of them were true, most of them were not. You created this person in your head, this stranger, made up of all the fragments I handed to you. You wanted an idea of me, someone who didn’t even exist. On some days I wished you would get to know me, really get to know me, and still decide to stay. On others I wished you would get to know me and decide I wasn’t worth coming back to. You might have thought you wanted all these details about me, but I don’t think that’s true. You never would have wanted what I had to offer, but I was fine with that. After all you were a liar, too. You told me you could stop seeing me whenever you wanted, but you’re still here. And I still open the door every time you knock. So at what point are we going to stop?”
yousharknotpass
jbbartram-illu
blakekathryn
stormborns
2087
izzy806
