I have this problem. A lot. And it used to suck to have people (my family especially) always use my crying against me in an argument-my dad would say I'm emotionally manipulative or that I'm throwing a tantrum and minimize my genuine arguments. But you know what helped?
Just. I know you can't stop yourself from crying and your voice from cracking and your hands from shaking. If you're with someone you trust, I'd suggest asking for a break- tears mean you're reaching a breaking point, it means your body is trying to relieve the immense pressure.
But if you're not just... Don't acknowledge your own crying. Treat it like a sneeze or a cough. Keep talking through your tears, maintain eye contact. If your voice cracks, clear your throat, say "excuse me" and move on. Take deep breaths. Try and consciously relax your muscles one by one.
The worst part of crying during an argument is the feeling of being invalidated because of it and for me, specifically, it has helped so much to just not give the other person the chance to even bring it up. If they say "you're crying" I say "yes. Anyway" and keep talking about my main argument. I don't acknowledge them. We move on.
Ideally you don't have to protect yourself like that (crying shouldn't feel like a mistake, or like it makes you small and worthless), but honestly... Sometimes it's better than the alternative
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