am i still your charm or am i just bad luck?

if love is a labor, i'll slave 'til the end. jake. 24. nyc. cis male. aromantic. pansexual. father of spencer jacob keaton. engaged until february. paramedic in brooklyn and drummer for seventh apparition. i'm probably your parents' worst nightmare in every possible way. "let's unwrite these pages and replace them with our own words. we live on front porches and swing life away. we get by just fine here on minimum wage. "

[benjhawkins]

Every day I learn something baffling about Massachusetts

[anotherscrappile]

(Link to Wikipedia page)

[its-a-mi-a]

@jake-alenko-keaton you live there.

[idedicatethisblogtoyou21]

[did-you-know]

People who appreciate dark humor are more likely to have higher levels of intelligence.

Source Source 2

[kawaii-cat-socks]

Being a cat is cool! They are smart, cunning, independent, adorable ... With these socks, you can "be a cat". You just have to put them on and behave like one: meow when you need help, snort when things don't go your way, or throw objects when you want to be listened to!

=> GET YOURS HERE <=

PRE-BLACK FRIDAY DEALS ARE HERE! USE COUPON CODE "EXTRA50" AT CHECKOUT TO RECEIVE UP TO 50% OFF!! FINAL HOURS! THE SALE ENDS AT MIDNIGHT TODAY!

[wendy-alizz]

Arrived quickly and in perfect condition. they're wonderfully durable, as cute as advertised, and the top of the socks has that helpful silicone grip all good stockings have that help them stay in place. thank you!

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

@jake-alenko-keaton

[did-you-know]

Blood can be used as a substitute for eggs when baking.

Source

[babyanimalgifs]

[brink-acheron-official]

@jake-alenko-keaton is this why you call him Romeo?

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

@brink-acheron-official Nah. It’s because he used to try and make out with @jake-alenko-keaton when he was a puppy.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

@cmdr-alenko-keaton @brink-acheron-official which i guess isn’t too far off from the post. he’d probably do the same to an intruder.

[wtfzodiacsigns]

Leo - WTF #Zodiac #Signs Daily #Horoscope plus #Astrology !

[expressions-of-nature]

by Mylon Ollila

[quique72]

[prettypachyderms]

So cute.

Photo from @Elephant Fosters and Friends on FB

[prettypachyderms]

Happy Chubbo.

Photo from @elephant.__.lover on IG

[cameron--mackenzie]

If you don't deal with Jake, I'm gonna kill him.

Does it look like he’s listening to me? I already told him you’re the only one for me. He’s harmless, Em. Just annoying as fuck.

[emerson-mackenzie]

I don’t like him.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

I’m right here, you know. Try a little harder not to flatter me.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Don’t bother yourself with him, Mrs. Ellington. I’ve got your dirty work covered. It’s what you pay me for.

[cameron--mackenzie]

I knew you had to be good for something.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Is that supposed to scare me? You couldn’t even bruise me, let alone kill me, kid.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

No one said anything about violence, Mr. Keaton.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

How exactly do you plan on dealing with me then? And Mr. Keaton, huh? I wasn’t aware you were going to be so formal with me.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Wouldn’t you like to know. We’ve barely met, Mr. Keaton; you barely know me. There’s a lot yet to learn.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Look!! @jake-alenko-keaton I found when we first met!!

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Wow. What a throwback.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

I hated you.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

I had so much fun fucking with you.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Yeah, yeah. I know you did. Until I stopped spoon feeding you.

Literally.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Ha. Yeah. You’re right.

This is kind of funny to relive now.

[cameron--mackenzie]

If you don't deal with Jake, I'm gonna kill him.

Does it look like he’s listening to me? I already told him you’re the only one for me. He’s harmless, Em. Just annoying as fuck.

[emerson-mackenzie]

I don’t like him.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

I’m right here, you know. Try a little harder not to flatter me.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Don’t bother yourself with him, Mrs. Ellington. I’ve got your dirty work covered. It’s what you pay me for.

[cameron--mackenzie]

I knew you had to be good for something.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Is that supposed to scare me? You couldn’t even bruise me, let alone kill me, kid.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

No one said anything about violence, Mr. Keaton.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

How exactly do you plan on dealing with me then? And Mr. Keaton, huh? I wasn’t aware you were going to be so formal with me.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Wouldn’t you like to know. We’ve barely met, Mr. Keaton; you barely know me. There’s a lot yet to learn.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Look!! @jake-alenko-keaton I found when we first met!!

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Wow. What a throwback.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

I hated you.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

I had so much fun fucking with you.

[cameron--mackenzie]

If you don't deal with Jake, I'm gonna kill him.

Does it look like he’s listening to me? I already told him you’re the only one for me. He’s harmless, Em. Just annoying as fuck.

[emerson-mackenzie]

I don’t like him.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

I’m right here, you know. Try a little harder not to flatter me.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Don’t bother yourself with him, Mrs. Ellington. I’ve got your dirty work covered. It’s what you pay me for.

[cameron--mackenzie]

I knew you had to be good for something.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Is that supposed to scare me? You couldn’t even bruise me, let alone kill me, kid.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

No one said anything about violence, Mr. Keaton.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

How exactly do you plan on dealing with me then? And Mr. Keaton, huh? I wasn’t aware you were going to be so formal with me.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Wouldn’t you like to know. We’ve barely met, Mr. Keaton; you barely know me. There’s a lot yet to learn.

[cmdr-alenko-keaton]

Look!! @jake-alenko-keaton I found when we first met!!

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Wow. What a throwback.

[prettypachyderms]

Those fuzzy heads kill me! 😍

Photo from @lover__elephant on IG

[prettypachyderms]

Pretty rescued baby at The David Sheldrick Wildlife Trust

[harrisonlouise]

Text → Larri & Kelenko

Harri: guys!! I haz an important ???

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Jake: do you always text like this? have i just not noticed?

Jake: what’s up?

[harrisonlouise]

Harri: yes. Always. Y u not notice?

Jazz: what’s up Hare Bear?

Harri: Jazzy!!! You haven’t called me that in so long… !!

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Jake: i don’t know. this is like texting cam. feels like i’m losing brain cells…

Leo: Don’t be so dramatic. Harri, we have important questions to ask. Remember?

[harrisonlouise]

Harri: fiiiiiiine.

Jazz: don’t be a dick Leopold.

Harri: So Santiago and Melodía need godparents. I was hoping you guys would be down to do it.

Harri: not that anything is gonna happen to us. But…. just in case.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Leo: Stop calling me that. I’ll un-godparent you.

Jake: we didn’t even say yes yet…

Jake: did we?

Jake: i’d like to be. jazz?

[harrisonlouise]

Harri: Daddy shhhh!

Jazz: fuck yeah. I’m so down. But nothing better happen to you.

[jake-alenko-keaton]

Jake: awesome. we’re saying yes then. we’ll be their godparents. but don’t die and leave us with three kids anytime soon.

Leo: We’re not planning on it.