It’s like your brain just switches off.
You stop thinking about yourself or what you want, and it’s just HIM and HIS needs.
It feels like you’re being stripped down to something raw and basic, a fully receptive ORIFICE whose only value is giving HIM HIS ORGASM
There’s no room for pride or doubt, you can’t even think or talk, just this pure, clean focus on GIVING, on serving HIM.
You lose all control of yourself and it’s humiliating but that humiliation feels like a gift, because you know you’re giving him exactly what HE wants. You are feeding HIS ego.
You feel worthless on your own, but when HE uses you, you have value, even if it’s just as a thing for him to take his ANGER on sometimes, or use to relieve his BOREDOM, or get GREEDY and use just for HIS pleasure out on.
It becomes an addictive feedback loop: the more worthless without HIM HE makes you feel, the more you give yourself over to HIM for HIS use and NEED to get FUCKED.
Be grateful HE married you. HE is the gift.