ROLEPLAY MEME: "Texts From My Friends" Edition
[text]: I got super pissed so I threw a pen at her and it hit her square in the face.
[text] : my mom says you looked "very cute" today
[text] : It's not really a bar it's more of a place in the middle of the woods with alcohol and a pool table
[text] : MY MOM NEEDS TO CALM DOWN
[text] : if you ever wear a leather shirt I swear to god
[text] : beach. be there.
[text] : amazon sells a potato blaster for 20 dollars
[text] : NO ONE WANTS ME, NOT EVEN TINDER WORKS FOR ME
[text] : can't go, jesus camp is starting on saturday, mom won't let me get out of that
[text] : my hips hurt for all the wrong reasons
[text] : dude for a minute today I just really wanted to shave my eyebrows off
[text] : there's a really cute gay guy singing and I can't be held responsible for my actions
[text] : I'm 2 hairy 2 make plans
[text] : I have no shame and no clothes
[text] : great timing, I was actually just watching a lesbian movie
[text] : I just puked my guts out so I guess that's a no to hangout for me
[text] : what's this placenta eating bonanza?
[text] : do you think if I put avocado in my hair I'll make it better?
[text] : there was nothing else so I just drank vodka with chocolate powder
[text] : I got new clothes let's go out
[text] : I LOST THE VIDEO OF ME RIDING THE PANDA UGGGHHHH
[text] : I always laugh thinking back to the times I was scared to tell people I'm interested in boys
[text] : I was so confused with all his niceness that I could've shat my pants
[text] : hey can I stop by? I miss your house
[text] : we're on a friendship level I never thought I'd achieve. We played spin the bottle.
[text] : I'm majoring in SEXUAL SCIENCES
[text] : if you're gonna fuck me up at least buy me dinner first
[text to someone who's clearly not Jorge] : thanks Jorge
[text] : soooo I just cried at the restaurant table. Come pick me up?
[text] : we made out so hard I lost my septum piercing
[text] : I'm not jealous I just think you shouldn't settle for that piece of shit though
[text] : HE HAS SO MANY BALLS
[text] : you're my friend so I'm just gonna say it. I made out with a few guys. I liked it. So I guess I'm bi.
[text] : [sends video of slugs mating]
[text] : I'm very invested in your love life
[text] : sorry I'm tripping, I inhaled some serious chemicals in class today
[text] : TOTORO FRIENDSHIP TATTOOS LET'S GO
[text] : how come you never wrote a poem about MY lips?
[text] : no strings attached wanna go to the movies and talk until we get asked to leave?
[text] : do you have a toy gun? but I need one that REALLY looks like a gun
[text] : you fell down the stairs and scraped your knees. Every three minutes you would turn to us in shock, point to your legs and ask "where did this come from??"
[text] : hey it's not that I want to get back together or anything but I just really miss your dog, man
[text] : you called me a minion, I will never trust you again
[text] : THAT'S A CUTE DAD THOUGH. CUTE DAD ALERT.
[text] : I'm not introducing you to my friends, you'll sex them all up and it will make things weird
[text] : can we make out?
[text] : listen to me, we're all gonna die. Life is too short not to give into this obvious sexual tension between us.
[text] : it's not my fault you eat a banana like you're sucking dick, of course everyone would film that
[text] : I'll jump around shirtless and you can't stop me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯