so, first off to the people who might read this, im sorry for disappearing out of nowhere, so in short i got busy (ik ik not valid, shouldve at least made one post long ago)
somewhere around the end of my 3th semester in uni it really got me thinking about what i actually want to do w in my life (not like i want to study and grow up work and retire while running a cozy cafe but real goals like actual real, I'll bare my heart for a moment, I want to buy a house not for me, for my parents ik maybe im cringe i cant pull off being nonchalant anyways, so hopefully I can achieve this one day), so at first I only decided to take some time off to simply explore around for different opportunities in my field as some of you might know im pursuing engineering (ik classic asian lol, ur girl interned at big tech last summer n i have one lined up this summer too), and I have come to the conclusion that its just that I grew up (lol maybe idk i tripped over air yesterday) dont get me wrong I loveee svt n enha, my entire fyp is full of dk+seungkwan singing, vernon smashing is head in the cake (lol he's my spirit animal fr), heeseung and the edits (which btw make me cry now), lol sunghoon spamming his body builder pose. But overall the gist is that, I grew up with time and there is an obvious shift in how I stan groups.
I was one of those people who spammed delulu is solulu (lol feels like forever ago) but idk maybe my frontal lobe developed recently lol
long story short I stan them from a distance, i smile every freaking time i see them on my fyp, i literally cried my heart out to moonstruck last night, i presave albums on spotify (i got student premium finally not that broke) but I dont necessarily talk about them with other people yk, like i stan them but if i meet another carat/engene we jump up and down for 2 mins and go back to our lives as normal (which wasnt the case before mind you maybe i was just always weird).
overall this post doesnt mean im deleting this account or anything, its just i felt like i owed an explaination to the people who supported me here, seeing every single comment healed the shattered pieces of my heart bit by bit and made me feel like i had friends again (2023 was pretty rough for me but thats a story for another time i have no more tears in my eyes come back heeseung)
ill still be here but wont be active anymore just wanted to put this out here cuz its already long overdue
I wish to become a person who can one day hopefully attend their concert in real life (even if its all the way in the back)
I wish to become a better version of myself, more consistent with my goals, more loving, more caring and forever more grateful for everything I have in life
i wish to become someone 10 year old me would think is freaking cool.
I wish to achieve my dreams and I'm sure all the groups I stan would want the same for me.
to all my moots<33 and people who sent in their beautiful requests and messages im truly sorry you guys deserved better than to be blown off like that
I will forever be grateful for the love and support i got here<3333
Thank you and Sorry
signing off kinda
mango