HEESEUNGㅤis an insufferable piece of shit, to put is very nicely.
no it’s not the first time you’re mad at him and no, it’s no news that seeing you like that quite literally makes him want to throw you in bed and shut you up.
your words fall deaf to his ears— he’s only focusing on how pretty you look when you push your hair back in annoyance.
and when you point your finger at him, nudging his chest, he feels like he might just lose his cool. “shit, you’re so hot, angel,”
you sigh, not backing down. “i’m being serious, hee,”
“so am i,” and he is all up in your face, a proud grin adorned on his lips. “go on, yell at me a little more,”
JONGSEONGㅤhas a not so subtle smirk dancing on his lips as you raise your voice in annoyance.
“and you— are you even listening to me?” you ask when you notice him leaning against his mahogany desk, arms crossed over his chest.
“i am, my love,” he says in that deep yet oh so sweet voice that makes you falter, but then you see his smile and it makes you even angrier.
“you’re smiling,” you deadpan at his sheer audacity. if he didn’t have such a handsome face, you probably would have punched him. “i’m trying to have a serious conversation and you’re smiling,”
“can’t help, darling,” he makes way to you and swiftly pulls you by your waist. “you’re hot when you talk to me in that tone,”
you do slap his arms away and get more angry, but jay would live.
JAEYUNㅤthinks something is wrong with him because why is he having the time of his life when you’re mad at him.
you’re clearly upset, going off about something he did. “you never take me seriously!”
“i-i do!” he defends himself, knowing very well he is doing anything but taking you seriously, even right now.
your eyes squint at him— or the overflowing amusement in his eyes. “you’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
and your boyfriend goes speechless after being caught red-handed. “i—uh— a ... little?”
shaking your head, you give up, walking out on him. “you’re unbelievable,”
“not my fault you look sexy as hell when you’re mad at me!” he shouts back shamelessly as you leave the room.
SUNGHOONㅤis hit with realisation the second you shoot him angry eyes. his heart races, mind explodes, eyes widen— that firm, slightly raised voice of yours— it’s doing things to him.
“you can’t do this every time i try to make plans for us,” you make a point, fully expecting him to argue back, but he just reaches out to hold your hand.
“listen, baby—”
“park sunghoon,” words leave your mouth at the nickname— firm and strict. “shut up,”
and sunghoon freezes, feeling all his blood go south. you’re angry and you probably won’t talk to him for a while, but he doesn’t need to be saved.
“y-yes,” he stutters nervously, but he is exactly where he wants to be.
SUNOOㅤis a little surprised at first because you are never this mad.
he looks at you as you get ready for work while also scolding him on the side— he feels like you two are a married couple already with the way you’re scolding him like a wife scolds her husband.
“you’re cute,” words slip off his tongue just as you’re about to leave.
“excuse me?!” you frown and he short circuits at your stern voice and furrowed brows, feeling like something new has awakened inside of him.
and his face flushes red, heart racing even when you’re shooting him the looks of anger. “nothing!”
“kim sunoo, i’ll deal with you later,” and you bet he isn’t sure if you’re warning him or threatening him with a good time.
JUNGWONㅤtruly is baffled because it feels like he is coming to terms with a new side of himself.
“you could’ve told me,” your words are sharp, and usually he would be muttering apologies but now...now he is quiet.
really quiet, eyes zoomed in on you, your shirt— his shirt— it makes you ten times more attractive when you are putting him in his place while wearing his clothes.
his mind trails off in inappropriate directions and he looks away, but then your voice draws him back to you. “look at me when we’re talking, won,”
and he deadass loses his breath, sirens going off in his mind. “sorry,”
you go on for a few more minutes and it’s hard to say he doesn’t enjoy it— so much that he might have a little problem.
NI-KIㅤis having the time of his life because not only are you cute, you are also short and angry that makes him want to hug you and smother your face with kisses.
“riki, stop grinning and listen to me,” you warn, hands on your waist, trying to look as intimidating as you think you do, but riki sees otherwise.
“i am,”
“you’re not,” you say again, bit more firmly this time, eyes not leaving his deep brown ones even for a second.
and it’s like a switch flips inside of him.
because suddenly, your boyfriend is reduced to a mix of nods and no’s and he gulps every time your voice gets a little louder— he hopes this doesn’t awaken something in him but it is already late.
it is only until you notice his eyes fixed on your lips that you catch on. “you’re liking this, aren’t you?”
“maybe...maybe not,” he shrugs, ears a little red.
and you can only shake your head at his implications. “sick freak,”
from, malena i don’t know how i came up with this TT hope you like this nonetheless
Sypnosis: Riki got jealous of his own daughter claiming you
Warning: flufffff
now playing🎧- first love- hikaru utada
📍a/n: hiii thank youuu for your request!! I hope you’ll like this one tooo! Edit: this is a pretty old draft😭
The morning sun filtered through the sheer curtains of the living room, casting a warm, golden glow over the soft rug where the center of your universe currently sat.
Your three-year-old daughter, Hina, was deeply engrossed in her morning mission. She wore a pair of mismatched, fuzzy socks, her dark, slightly wavy hair tied into two chaotic little pigtails that bounced every time she moved. And right there on the floor with her, looking entirely too big for the miniature plastic tea set in front of him, was Nishimura Riki.
To the rest of the world, Riki was a man of quiet intensity—sharp, collected, and occasionally intimidating when he was in his element. But right now, sitting cross-legged in a casual gray sweatshirt with a tiny pink plastic teacup balanced precariously between his long fingers, he was just a dad completely wrapped around his daughter’s little finger.
"Drink it, Papa! It's strawberry juice," Hina ordered, her voice high and demanding as she tapped the toy teapot against his cup.
"Ah, my favorite. Thank you, chef," Riki said, his deep voice dropping into that incredibly soft, honeyed tone he reserved only for the two of you. He lifted the tiny cup to his lips, making an overly dramatic, loud gulping sound that had Hina bursting into a fit of giggles, her small hands clapping together.
Sitting on the couch with a warm mug of coffee between your hands, you couldn't help the swell of pure affection that tightened in your chest. You watched the way Riki’s sharp, fox-like eyes crinkled at the corners, a brilliant, genuine smile spreading across his face as he reached out to gently boop Hina’s nose.
He was an incredible father. When you had first found out you were pregnant, Riki had been terrified, constantly reading parenting books and worrying that his naturally quiet, intense demeanor wouldn't be enough. But the moment Hina was placed in his arms, every doubt had melted away. He was patient, fiercely protective, and endlessly attentive. He was the dad who stayed up for midnight feedings just so you could sleep, and the husband who still left sweet notes on the kitchen counter before he left for work. You were, without a doubt, the luckiest woman alive.
Later that afternoon, Riki had stepped away to the kitchen to prepare some snacks, leaving you and Hina on the floor surrounded by her stuffed animals. Hina was currently burying her face into your neck, her small arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders in a sudden burst of toddler affection.
"I love you, Mama," Hina mumbled into your collarbone, squeezing you with all her might. "Mama is mine. Only mine."
You laughed softly, wrapping your arms around her small frame and kissing the top of her head. "Oh really? Mama is yours?"
"Yes! Mine!" Hina declared proudly, pulling back to look at you with fierce, determined little eyes.
"Hey, hold on a minute."
A shadow fell over the two of you as Riki suddenly materialized from the kitchen, setting a plate of sliced apples on the coffee table. Before Hina could protest, Riki slid onto the floor right next to you. His long arm immediately snaked around your waist, pulling you firmly against his side, his chin resting possessively on your shoulder.
He looked across at his daughter, narrowing his eyes in a playful, mock-serious stare. "No way, kiddo. Mama is MINE."
Hina’s jaw practically dropped. She crawled forward, placing her tiny hands on your knee, puffing out her cheeks. "No! My Mama!"
"I bought the ring, I got her first," Riki bickered back smoothly, a teasing smirk playing on his lips as he tightened his grip around your waist, pulling you even closer into his chest. "Find your own wife, Hina. This one belongs to Papa."
"Nooooo!" Hina squealed, lunging forward to tug at Riki’s sweatshirt, trying to physically pry his arm off you. "Mama is Hina's! Mama, tell Papa!"
You couldn't stop the laughter bubbling up from your chest as you looked between the two of them. Riki looked entirely too pleased with himself, leaning down to press a loud, dramatic kiss to your cheek right in front of her just to fuel the fire.
"Papa, no kissing my Mama!" Hina protested, successfully climbing over Riki’s legs to squeeze herself right between the two of you, effectively creating a giant, chaotic family hug. Riki laughed, his chest vibrating against your back as he wrapped his large arms around both of you, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
By the time night fell, the chaotic energy of the daytime finally caught up to the household. After a warm bath and three readings of her favorite storybook, Hina finally drifted off to sleep, her little breathing slow and rhythmic under her star-printed blankets.
Riki closed her bedroom door with an agonizingly slow, careful click, ensuring the silence of the hallway remained unbroken.
The moment he turned around and saw you leaning against the hallway wall, waiting for him, his entire posture changed. The playful bickering dad vanished, replaced by the heavy, hooded gaze of your husband. He walked over to you, his footsteps silent, and didn't hesitate to trap you gently between his arms, his hands resting on the wall on either side of your head.
"Finally," Riki breathed, his voice a low, raspy whisper that sent a familiar shiver down your spine. "She's asleep."
"You were bickering with a three-year-old, Niki," you teased softly, reaching up to rest your hands on his chest, feeling the steady, warm beat of his heart.
"I don't care," he murmured, leaning down so his lips brushed against your earlobe, his breath hot against your skin. "I shared you all day. I let her follow you around, I let her hold your hand... but now it's my turn. I mean it. You're mine tonight."
Before you could laugh, Riki tilted your chin up and captured your lips in a slow, deep, and incredibly possessive kiss. It carried all the quiet built-up longing of the day, his hands sliding down to your waist to lift you slightly, pulling you flush against his body. You melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as the quiet house faded into the background.
He pulled back just an inch, his forehead resting against yours, a soft, breathless smile on his lips. "I love our little girl," he whispered, kissing you again, sweeter this time. "But I love you more. Come here."
Hand in hand, he led you into your bedroom, finally having you all to himself in the quiet, perfect world you had built together.
𑣲⋆ ⌗ (🚬) You’re the kind of girl who gets peonies for breakfast, so Riki Nishimura would really like to know why you’re buying weed from him.
西村 力 riki nishimura x cheer captain! reader
˗ˏˋ riki as a plug, i promise its not as bad as it sounds, romcom, fluff, crack, profanity, homewrecking but not really, cheating (not really) but not on riki dw, explicit content, smut, oral sex, m receiving, porn with plot, unprotected sex, dom ni-ki, size kink lowk, weed, toxic, mdni !
wc: 20 766
p: d.a.m. - fetty wap ; homewrecker - sombr ; i get lonely - drake ; lowkey - niki (fcking hilarious)
Riki Nishimura was a conformist by all means possible, and even prides himself as a law-abiding citizen to the normalized standards.
He does think some fractions of the government system can totally be tweaked, but he isn’t some reformist that would go out of his way — he actually really likes the stability of society and how it’s structured. He’s comfortable with the status quo.
That includes knowing who to follow on Instagram, who not to approach in the hallway, who to invite in group projects, and who to sit with in lunch. He goes by what makes sense and knows who the hell doesn’t belong in his circle, who rightfully has his phone number, and who can comment on his Instagram posts.
Except when it comes to substances. He’s not a drug addict but he does enjoy good weed.
He did listen during chemistry lectures, which basically means he knows a thing or two about pharmaceutics — at least the important parts like which produce larger surges of dopamine and intense euphoria. So while they get drug orientations every start of the school year and the addition of the entrepreneurial mindset of a businessman his father has passed down to him; Riki’s a fucking a jackpot. He simply believed every structure had blind spots, and if someone was smart enough to notice them, then maybe they deserved to profit a little.
Maybe that made him a hypocrite. He knew that. Sometimes, in the middle of his own judgment, the thought would occur to him that he was not exactly living inside the moral boundaries he pretended to respect.
So with all of these in mind — weed-seller and social scale follower — imagine his surprise seeing a text from you.
You, an A-tier cheer captain with perfect grades and perfect friends and a perfect boyfriend and someone he doubts even has ever touched weed within a 10 feet radius because of how goody-two-shoes and slightly more socially-conformed you are, texted him:
you:
hi
you sell right
The kind of surprise a priest might feel if the Virgin Mary asked to borrow a dildo.
Riki stared at his phone for a full thirty seconds. Not because he was shocked by the question itself — he’d gotten worse, far more incriminating messages from people with nothing to lose – but because of who it was from. Your name sat there, attached to a profile picture he never thought would sit on his chat log. Someone who followed the rules so well she barely seemed to touch the ground and practically flew up the school field with the school banner.
This was not how the structure worked. Nope.
He knew you didn’t look at people like him unless it was to borrow a pen or unwillingly get assigned to a lab partner. You definitely weren’t supposed to be asking him this.
Riki leaned back in his chair and rethought the logistics. He wasn’t paranoid – paranoia implied irrationality. This was risk assessment, you’re high visibility, you’re a liability, you’re a cop in disguise, you’re a prig who’ll ruin his cloak and dagger, you’re holier-than-thou. You’re interesting.
riki:
????
is this a test loll
you:
?
its a question
riki:
u fr????
you:
js tell me if its a no
i have money
riki:
3pm behind the science building
you:
ok thanks
But more than whatever you are, he knows this was stupid. This was the kind of deviation that got people caught and into the most flouting position he’ll ever be, therefore ruining his very wish to stay within a lawful system. It was, unequivocally, a very bad idea.
And yet he finds himself at the back of the building while he reevaluates the measures of bad-ness in the idea. If math really has been on his side along with his really athletic stature, he can run when you pull out as witness to his little dissenter mood. It halts when he sees you rounding the corner in your cheer uniform — ponytail perfect, knee tape slightly crooked, eyes darting like you weren’t sure you belonged back here — he realizes something his knees will give out before he can even try to walk away.
You stop a few feet away from him, awkward, out of place, glowing like a wrong answer circled in red. You stare at him with your arms crossed, hyperaware when his eyes follow the silhouette of your frame like he’s finding a covert surveillance device underneath your pleated skirt.
Riki talks calmly, like this wasn’t insane at all, like he hasn’t been in his head for the past hours: “So,” he starts, hands slipping into the pockets of his hoodie. “What do you need?”
The question should’ve been easy. You’d rehearsed it in your head on the walk here, timed it with your steps, told yourself not to sound like an idiot. But standing this near — near enough to notice the faint, clean smell of cologne and something green and earthy — you blank.
You shift your weight, arms tightening across your chest. “Um. Weed.”
Riki blinks once, and immediately he knows what this is. He studies you the way he did with lab results that didn’t line up with the predictions — or maybe it did exactly, and he can’t believe it was that easy.
“…Okay,” he said. “What kind?”
Your mouth opens. Then closes.
“What kind.” he repeats.
You felt heat crawl up your neck. “Just… normal?” you say, immediately hating yourself. “Like. The kind people use?”
A corner of his mouth twitches before he can stop it. Then he licks the inside of his cheek, shaking his head when he realizes that yeah, his guess is right. “You don’t know what you’re doing.” he says.
You bristle. “So?”
“You don’t even know dosage. Or strain. Or why you want it.” His eyes flick up to yours. “Do you?”
Your confidence wobbles, the polished composure you wore so easily in hallways cracking just a little now. He pulls out a small, neatly labeled bag and holds it between his fingers instead of handing it to you. “This is low THC,” he explains. “Won’t make you freak out. But I need to know what you specifically need so you don’t… panic.”
This was supposed to be transactional, quick, something you could tuck away and forget about. Yet every risky glance you take, he doesn’t look like someone who’d hold anything against you.
Riki sighs, about to put the bag away. “Look, let’s just forget —“
“I just,” you start, then sigh because there’s no cool way to say it. “I don’t know. I had a bad week. I wanted to try something.”
When you finally look up, he’s watching you differently. Not like you’re stupid or embarrassing, though you feel plenty of that on your own. His brows have lifted slightly, the faint amusement in his mouth fading into something quieter as he takes you in properly: your tight grip on your own arms, the way your eyes keep darting away.
And it makes it worse.
You meet his eyes for half a second before looking away with a small huff, embarrassed by the sudden attention.
He puckers his lips slightly, staring at the thing in his hand like he’s thinking. At first, you think he might be deciding if you’re worth the trouble, but then he nods once. “Okay,” he says. “So you’re not becoming a stoner. You’re just trying a new cuisine.”
You blink at him, then laugh under your breath before you can stop yourself.
His mouth twitches, but hides it. He steps closer, just enough that you can see the smoothness of his skin, like he owns expensive skincare. He’s very tall, in a way that surprises you maybe because you’d just never stood this close before.
Really, you never spent time looking at Riki Nishimura. You’ve known the name, because who can ever look past the opulent sound of it, but to know the man behind it didn’t matter. After texting him, you don’t know what you expected either, maybe someone grubbier and smelled like smoke, someone with dry lips from all the ash. You thought he’d smell like one of those hippie guys who sold sketchy shit while wearing the same beanie for three years.
But no, he smells like a familiar perfume your father owns in his fragrance wardrobe.
And his clothes are annoyingly nice, like the hoodie is probably more expensive than it looks and the loose pants are intentional, not lazy.
Also, he’s 6’1.
“This,” he taps the bag lightly, “will help you relax. Body high, mostly. You’ll still be functional. But since it’s your first time, better not fuck around too much.”
He’s still standing in front of you, close enough for you to notice the way his lashes lower when he looks at the bag in his hand, and you feel deeply, horribly stupid for only realizing now that he looks like that.
Your gaze lingers, and he catches it. Riki clears his throat, spine straightening a little. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” you say too fast.
He only hums. You tighten your arms across your chest. “Just give me the thing.”
He finally hands you the bag, and you eye it once you feel its weight in your palm; leafy and green and brown and not you — but it doesn’t look so bad right now. It looks enticing, even, which you won’t try to admit out loud.
“Twenty,” he says, not planning to converse himself with the sudden discount.
You dig into your bag, finding for the vintage pink wallet that screams the contrast of cannabis in your palm right now. “You know,” you say, hesitant but honest, “I don’t know. It’s weird how we’ve never talked before.”
That gets him. He chuckles even if there’s nothing funny about what you said, but there is something humorous about the fact he remembers shit you obviously forgot. He’s quick to question the lack of indifference, because he remembers it well that this is definitely not the first time you two talked.
“We were partners in freshman year,” Riki says.
He watches your face blank in real time, and something about it makes his mouth lift again, but not kindly enough to be mean. More like he expected it and still finds it a little funny that you are proving him right.
“English lit,” he adds. “The mythology presentation.”
For a second, he looks at you like someone who’s always known you, and you look at him like you’re seeing him for the first time. He sees it flash in your eyes, that maybe you remember him more than just some guy who sells weed to irresponsible decision-makers.
“Oh,” you say.
Riki nods once, the corner of his mouth twitching. “Oh.”
Until your phone buzzes to drag you back from this little bubble you’re in – your boyfriend’s name lights up the screen and Riki notices it too.
“Oh,” you say again, clearly out of your own head. “I — sorry.”
Something shifts, like the structure rebuilds and reasserts itself back into proper footing. You pull the bills from your wallet and press them into his hand. “Thanks,” you say. “For, um. The stuff.”
He closes his fist around the money, nods once. “Yeah.”
You hesitate like you might say something else, so you just tuck the bag away and step back. “I’ll go,” you say.
You turn the corner first. Riki exhales only when you’re out of sight, and chews on his bottom lip before hitting the side of his fist against the wall without real effort. He turns the other corner, parting from the rendezvous kept between eng lit and discounts.
The thing is, Riki knows you before whatever you are now. Miss Perfect who buys weed from Mister Lowkey Weed Seller — it’s a whole tangle in his brain in which he can’t exactly comprehend, but while he smokes a joint and music blasts through the speakers from the house party he’s dragged into, your picture’s pinned with red strings.
He’s known you since third grade. You’ve been part of the cheer team before puberty, and since then you’ve accumulated likable girls your age into your circle, then the guys from the football team after. It becomes a whole coupling session when the age came right, which Riki is convinced is just some orgy labeled friendship goals in curated Instagram. He thought you were mean mostly because that’s what someone like you would be — but he does know a thing or two about you, other than the assumption of character. You’ve been in the same group projects against your will, sometimes you’d stand next to each other by the queue lines in the cafeteria, sometimes you’d bump against him in the hallway when you’re chasing time.
Is it weird he kept tabs? Maybe.
He always noticed, obviously, why wouldn’t he? You are not exactly unnoticeable. You’re nicer than your friends, you say sorry when you accidentally bump into someone, you say thanks to the staff, you say good morning to strangers, you’re pretty, you’re talented, you’re smart, you laugh at his jokes, you bought weed from him, you’re pretty, you’re perfect, you’re funny, you’re ridiculously pretty —
Riki takes another puff, too fast and too harsh, earning a rough cough from his throat. Heeseung chuckles, giving him an aggressive pat on the back when he leans his elbows against his knees. “Geez, first time?”
Riki shoves his arm away with a laugh, unsure where this is coming from. Because on top of every other noticeable trait you have, you have a boyfriend. So. Yeah. He knows better than to think about you.
He sinks deeper into someone else’s couch — leather, cracked at the seams — while the bass rattles the walls and bodies blur together in the dim lights. Smoke hangs thick in the air, clinging to his clothes, his hair, his thoughts. He takes another drag, slower this time, lets it sit in his lungs until the noise dulls around the edges.
Across from him, someone’s laughing too loud, then a couple is making out like it’s an Olympic sport. Heeseung steals the joint from his fingers and flicks the ash into an empty cup.
“You look fucked,” Heeseung says.
“I’m not,” Riki replies automatically.
“Mhm.”
Riki pushes himself up from the couch, suddenly restless. He just wants a drink — something cold, something that doesn’t make his head spiral because even the thought of weed pulls him back to this cheerleader. So he goes to the kitchen, instinctively saying half-assed sorry’s to strangers without meaning them.
Until he bumps into someone.
For half a second, he genuinely wonders if the side effects are finally catching up to him, because his head feels several feet away from his eyes and the kitchen lights look more hazy than they should.
But it’s you, he knows that because your kind voice apologizes; the way you always do, the way your friends don’t. Your shoulder knocks into his chest and you’re already stepping back, eyes wide a fraction of a second when you look up. Riki freezes too, unsure what to do with his hands or his feet or where to look without threading too close to the sternum your lowcut top exposes. Up close, under dim kitchen lights instead of school hallways, you look unreal — hair loose, lips parted like you’ve been laughing.
“Riki,” you say, breathless, like his name slipped out before your brain could catch it.
His name on your mouth does something stupid to him.
“Hey,” he says, too softly. He’s just thankful you don’t notice the slight roughness of it.
You smile, small and polite — but there’s something else underneath it now. Recognition that shouldn’t exist, not in the structure where you’re meant to forget that you know; one where he looks up at you from beneath your echelon, now he’s standing close enough that you have to tilt your chin to look up at him.
“I didn’t know you’d be here,” you say.
He huffs a quiet laugh. “I didn’t either.”
You glance past him, toward the other room, toward where your friends probably are — or your boyfriend. Then back at him, polite in a way he’s sure is because you’re you and not because he’s him.
“I don’t usually see you in… parties,” you say.
He puts both hands in his pant pockets, shoulders loose, eyes on yours like the noise around you doesn’t have enough authority to interrupt.
“You don’t usually look,” he says.
It’s not said rudely, just calm, like he’s stating something obvious enough that both of you should stop pretending around it.
Your fingers tighten around your cup. “That’s not true.”
Riki tilts his head, eyes moving over your face. “Yeah?”
You hate how it sounds coming from him, low and slow and almost amused, like he knows you’re lying before you do. You scoff a quiet laugh, eyes looking away because you can’t keep looking at him.
“I mean, I know you exist.” You look back up at him when you say it, bottom lip catching between your teeth before you can stop yourself.
His eyes drop for half a second, then he smirks and looks away, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek like he’s trying not to say something.
When he looks back, his face is calmer. “Where’s your boyfriend?”
The question is casual enough that it almost sounds harmless. You glance elsewhere instinctively, like you’re going to find him close. “Somewhere.”
“Specific.”
“He’s with his friends.”
Riki just nods, doesn’t wanna push, even though he’s pretty sure you don’t actually know where he is. Leaving is the smarter and normal thing to do. The thing a girl with a boyfriend and a reputation and a phone full of unread messages from her friends would do.
Instead, you stay there. And Riki’s got that tabbed already.
You hesitate, fingers worrying at the rim of your cup. “I, um. I haven’t — used it yet.”
Riki blinks. “The stuff?”
You nod, cheeks warming. “I just… don’t really know how.” It’s weird being this honest with someone you barely know, yet your bones don’t buzz with the prompt demand to pause. It must be the slight slosh, it’s the only real thing to excuse why you’re not pulling away.
For a second, he just looks at you. Then his mouth curves, slow and amused. “You bought weed without knowing how to use it?”
Your face warms, but you try not to look embarrassed. “Okay, well.” You lift your cup a little, like that somehow helps your argument. “You can teach me.”
Riki grimaces immediately, playful but clear. “Sounds like a bad idea.”
You blink. “Wow. Rude." You huff, looking away, but you’re smiling a little because he doesn’t sound scared of you. Or impressed by you. Or desperate to keep you there. He just sounds like he already knows better and hates that he has to be the one saying it.
He sighs, looking away for a second. “Fuck, fine.” his jaw clenches. “But not here.”
You try not to smile and fail almost immediately. You take one step back, still looking at him. “I’ll text you. Maybe later?”
Someone calls your name from the other room and you exhale, dragging back through the fracture. The music spikes and someone bumps into you again, closer this time, and Riki’s hand lifts instinctively, hovering over your waist without touching.
Your eyes flick down, then back up to his. “Nice seeing you,” you say finally, voice softer now.
“Yeah,” he says. “You too.”
You step around him, brushing past just close enough that he catches your scent — which is bad, because now he’ll have to remember that too. When you disappear back into the crowd, Riki stays rooted in place for a beat too long.
He exhales, rubs a hand over his face, and laughs quietly to himself.
He really, really knows better.
Which somehow makes it worse.
Riki glances back to see you’re sitting on the couch now, legs tucked in, your boyfriend’s arm slung easily around your shoulders. He leans in and presses a quick kiss to your cheek, which makes you smile and ease back into him. Riki turns away to open the fridge and grabs the coldest beer he can find. He lifts it and downs it in one go, throat burning at the coldness and bitter taste.
He shouldn’t do this.
He really shouldn’t.
Later, in that strange lull when the party has gotten worse and louder — you text him.
You:
bathroom upstairs
The bathroom is cramped and clean but gross in concept: flickering light, foggy mirror, the smell of cheap air freshener. You’re perched on the edge of the sink when he slips inside and locks the door behind him, eyes bright, a little nervous, because being in a bathroom with you feels worse than any sketchy deal he’s made.
“Okay,” you whisper, like you’re conspiring. “So. Teach me.”
He winces, glancing around. “This is… not ideal.”
You just grin. He laughs despite himself and sets the weed down on the closed toilet lid, grimacing when he starts rolling paper against it. Once he’s done, he holds the roll up to your mouth and he tells you to lick it. You follow through, leaning down and sticking your tongue out to lick the side. He clears his throat, trying not to think about the way you looked doing that, trying not to imagine anything else.
He’s careful, not clinical or a lecture when he instructs, just calm and reassuring like he’s trying to keep you comfortable more than correct. When he hands the final roll to you, your fingers shake a little as you take it.
“Like this?” you ask.
“Yeah,” he says softly. “Slow.”
You cough immediately after trying, sharp and sudden, bending forward with a surprised laugh. “Oh my god — why does it — ”
“Hey,” he says, too fast, stepping closer, hand hovering at your back. “You okay?”
You wave him off, still laughing, eyes watering. “I’m fine, I’m fine.”
He watches you like you might disappear if he looks away. You’re laughing, which isn’t comforting Riki even in the slightest because the last thing he needs is to not be a conformist and end up in jail for accidentally supporting your homicide.
You try again, better this time. You still cough, laugh, cough again, but way more manageable as time goes by.
“Sorry,” you say, breathless.
“Don’t apologize,” he says. “You’re doing fine.”
You keep at it, stubborn in that way of yours, until the coughing eases and something in your shoulders loosens. You lean back against the wall, head tipping gently, eyes half-lidded.
“Oh,” you murmur. “That’s… actually really nice.”
Riki lets out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding, a nervous laugh slipping out. He leans back against the wall, hand through his bangs, exposing the skin of his forehead. “Jesus fucking Christ,”
You nod slowly, smiling to yourself. “My brain’s quiet.”
He watches you for a moment: relaxed, unguarded, glowing in this tiny bathroom because you don’t belong here at all, holding a joint Riki himself rolled for you. Really, you never belonged anywhere that tried to put you in a box, and he wasn’t going to make himself an exception to that opening.
He tries thinking about who you really are, beyond what most people would take you as. Though he knows not to fantasize a tale where he saves the damsel from her golden label. He takes you with memory and not assumption: cheer girl, disciplined afternoon drills, academically smart, socially competent, good. But tonight, while you lean against the cracked sink and stand diagonally across him, he sees a side he never thought he’d secretly behold.
Your eyes flick to him. “You’re a good teacher.”
He swallows. “You’re an easy student.”
Riki rolls another one for himself, hands steadier now that you’re settled, and lights it with a quiet flick. The bathroom fills with a softer haze this time, the kind that wraps instead of hits like a downer high school series. He takes a drag, exhales toward the ceiling, letting the room reek with shouldn’ts and endorphine boosters.
You smoke more confidently now, less harsh and rough when you let the smoke run down your throat. Your eyes are a little red, lashes heavier, the sharp edges of you blurred into something warmer and looser, less polished and picture perfect the way your boyfriend would like. Riki thinks — stupidly — that he’s never seen you look better.
You lean your head back against the wall again, staring at the ceiling like it’s just told you a secret. He doesn’t stare, actually. He keeps his eyes narrowed to the broken tile in front of him like he’ll discern the reason it’s cracked (maybe someone opened the door too hard, maybe someone once stood there trying to look normal while his heart acted stupid over a girl, which was especially humiliating when the whole point of being high was to feel less insane). Sometimes he’ll permit himself to glance, but even the very glimpse of your smudged lipstick makes him look away and inhale the fuck outta that weed.
Then, suddenly, with eyes still trained to the dim bathroom light — “I thought you were,” you start, then laugh, a little too loud before clapping a hand over your mouth. “Sorry. I thought you were, like… this weirdo.”
He snorts, shaking his head. “Wow. Honesty hour already?”
“No — ” you groan, waving the joint like you’re conducting an orchestra. “I mean it nicely. You always stayed away from everyone. I figured you were judging us.”
“Us?” he repeats, amused, cocking a brow when he glances at you.
“You know. People like me.” You squint at him, trying to focus. You gesture at yourself ineptly, clearly out of the ordinary intellectual capacity you clench tight, not when rickety makes up for your feet.
He quickly looks away, trying not to smile.
“Loud. Annoying.” you clarify, hand gesturing around.
He tilts his head, considering. “Was I supposed to be friends with people like you?”
You blink, like you’re thinking about what he said and calculating the rationale behind his causes. It was a hit, one that steadies a thought in your brain.
“Is that so bad?”
The question knocks the breath out of him, especially when you look up at him like that, eyes bright and wide. He blinks, and then he laughs, coming out quieter this time, looking away because he can’t keep eye contact with you. “I didn’t think you’d want that.”
“Why not?”
Because there’s a system. Because there’s levels to this shit. Because you have a boyfriend. Because you’re untouchable. Because you’re perfect and he’s whatever this was. Because people like him didn’t get pulled into your orbit unless it was transactional. Like weed exchanges and favors on the toilet.
For now, he shrugs. “Seemed like you already had your people.”
You hum, nodding slowly, then smile. You tap the joint, watching some ash fall to the tiles. “They’re loud.”
He smiles back despite himself. “Yeah. They are.”
The bathroom feels like it’s floating away from the music that pumps loud through the pipes, a constant reminder that there’s more than the stinky bathroom you two share as a secret. It’s risky because it’s merely wood that separates the crypticity of Mary Jane from the Average Joe you two function in individually.
You glance at the joint, then at him. “You’re not weird, by the way.”
“Oh?” he says, eyebrow lifting. He even scoffs, because he (un-admittedly) finds you adorable.
“You’re just… quiet. You keep to yourself, but that doesn’t make you… eccentric.” You grin lopsided, cheeks warm but you ignore that. “You’re nice.”
That one gets him, more than he’d ever admit to anyone. Riki looks over, and for half a second, his gaze slips lower before he forces it back to your face. You’re already looking at him, all soft eyes and honest mouth, like you have no idea what you’re doing to him.
He looks away first, rubbing the side of his jaw like that might help. “You’re high,” he says.
“Maybe,” you confess. “But I mean it.”
He’s been called quiet and nice all his life, but that was never the full truth. He just knew who deserved access to the rest of him, and most people didn’t. It wasn’t personal. He could talk when he wanted to, laugh when something was actually funny, keep a conversation going if he cared enough. He just didn’t feel the need to prove he had thoughts by saying all of them out loud.
Riki takes a drag, exhales slowly, looking over the tiles of the bathroom while he rethinks the decision he’s about to drop. He clears his throat before speaking, “You’re not mean either.”
Your eyes widen a little, gaze recklessly steady at his side profile. “You thought I was?”
“Everyone did,” he says honestly, smiling a little.
You make a face, frowning at him even though he refuses to look at you. “That’s rude.”
He laughs, really laughs this time, head tipping back. When he looks at you again, you’re smiling up at him like you’ve discovered something new and decided to keep it. For a moment, it feels like maybe there was always a version of this where you talked in bathrooms and shared smoke and didn’t belong where people expected you to.
You take another small drag, then suddenly straighten when you decide to take him in. He’s wearing a jacket over his hoodie, simple sweats loose around his hips. Only a few strands of his dark blonde hair graze over his forehead, leading down to the sharp features you only really notice now.
You never thought Riki Nishimura was ugly. Now, you can’t help but think that he’s… kinda hot.
You’re high, you’re just gone. That’s why. It also explains why you nudge closer than you have been before, letting your skirt brush slightly against his pants, thighs grazing slightly against his.
You’re both still smoking — slow now, like the room itself has decided to breathe with you. The bathroom feels even smaller than before, shrinking with every second the music downstairs gets louder but muffled through the wooden door keeping you a secret. Your head feels light, buoyant, like you’re floating a few inches above your body. Maybe it’s the weed. Maybe it’s the half-drinks you’d taken before this. Maybe it’s neither.
He stares at the tile beneath his boot like it holds the secrets of the universe, or like it had the equations for him to understand gravity’s intentions and how it led to him feeling your softness against him.
“Is there something on the floor?” you laugh.
He just huffs, shaking his head because that’s all he can do right now. You’re still leaning back and he’s still standing just a little too close. Your knee brushes his again, accidental but not corrected.
He looks down at you then. The red in your eyes, the crooked smile, the way you’re leaning just a little toward him like gravity’s doing something new. You lean closer because you’re completely zooted and smart-Riki who knows better, leans away and only lets his chest tighten. His eyes drop traitorously down to your lips, and he’s not fast enough to look back up. You notice, of course, which makes you both look away and straighten back on your feet instead of the wall.
Riki clears his throat, smoking the last of his before he rids of it against the sink. “You gotta go?” he asks out of the blue, which makes you frown a little. It wasn’t exactly a statement, but you know when things are implied and telling, so you shove back the nerves and remember that he’s different from you.
You’re not his type of person. He probably likes more chill people who actually know how to roll this shit — not the sheltered ones who’s clueless with THC or terms alike it.
“Yeah. I guess.” you smooth out your clothes even though nothing’s wrong with them.
He realizes what he just did, especially now that you’re not even looking back at him. He tries correcting himself, to backtrack, but the moment you glance back up, he’s silenced. You put your unfinished joint in his hand. “See you.” You say just before unlocking the door, slipping through it, and accidentally slamming it too hard.
Riki reels in from the solitude of the silence, like he’s now just realizing the ruins he broke himself. He sighs in resignation, head falling forward in defeat. “Shit.”
He stares at the thing in his hand, unfinished and yours, half-burnt and still warm.
“Idiot,” he mutters to himself, dragging a hand down his face. He can still feel the ghost of your skirt brushing his leg, the way you didn’t look back because he gave you a reason not to.
But the bathroom still smells like you — sweet perfume tangled with smoke — and the joint is there, remaining as an accusation wrapped in paper. He turns it between his fingers, thumb brushing the spot where your lipstick smudged faintly against the edge.
Riki exhales, then lifts it.
He wraps his lips around it carefully, stupidly aware of the fact that yours were there first. The thought alone makes his chest tighten, heat creeping up his neck and pelvis as he takes a slow drag.
He closes his eyes as he exhales, leaning his head back against the wall, heart thudding too loud for a room this small. For a split second, he imagines you still there — tilted smile, red-rimmed eyes, saying his name like it belongs to you, all while your boyfriend waits in the living room.
He laughs shakily under his breath. It’s so wrong.
After that, you two haven’t really talked for weeks.
That part isn’t weird. You both have lived the majority of your lives settling with the insouciance despite recognition, and one night in a bathroom, smoke and secrets and red eyes, isn’t enough to reroute that kind of muscle memory. Riki tells himself that over and over, like it’s a theorem he’s already proven.
He hasn’t been worried. He still goes to class, still shows up on time, still hands in assignments with some effort. The only difference — although barely worth mentioning — is that he’s been dipping into his stash more often than usual. A little before bed. A little after.
Riki exhales slowly, staring at the ceiling, telling himself — again — that this doesn’t mean anything and it doesn’t have anything to do with the cheer girl he kinda had a moment with in the bathroom.
It’s so fucked, even if you don’t think being his friend is bad, because you’re not meant to be a part of this. He was simply curious that Miss Cheerleader bought weed from him and kinda trusted him way too fast and that wasn’t just some everyday occurrence — that’s the only best psychological explanation why you’re here even when you’re not.
You have a boyfriend. He’s not about to be a homewrecker. Yet it’s not helping.
No talking for weeks, reaching a month even. That says enough. He has to stop.
“Probably about Little Miss Perfect.”
Riki flinches like someone just snapped a rubber band against the back of his neck. He sits up, glaring at Heeseung. “What the fuck,” he blurts. “How do you know that?”
Jake slowly looks up from his laptop, eyes lighting up like he just unlocked a bonus level.
“Oh my god.” Sunghoon’s grin spreads and Heeseung laughs, clapping like he’s won because technically he did, at the mental betting at what keeps Riki Nishimura downing his marijuana greenhouse.
“Ohhh,” Heeseung says, taunting and annoying. “So it is about her.”
Riki blinks. “No.”
“That was the weakest no I’ve ever heard,” Jake says immediately, pointing a finger at Riki. “You’re a guilty man, aren’t you?”
Riki scoffs, scrambling, fingers rubbing against his temple in attempts to cool. “You’re literally insane. Why would it be about her?”
Heeseung shrugs, casual. “I saw you two talking at that party.”
Riki’s stomach drops. “You — what?”
“Relax,” Heeseung says, laughing. “I wasn’t spying. You two just kinda had a freeze frame by the kitchen. Wasn’t so hard to notice.”
Riki opens his mouth, just to close it. Then he runs a hand through his hair with the irritated slant of said illegality stamped in your name. “We were just talking. Nothing happened.” Riki snaps, defensive again, hands up like he’s caught.
Jake squints at him. “Then why are you acting like that?”
Riki looks away. Usually, it’s enough answer to more teasing and mocking, but maybe not this time. Because now, it raises actual questions that regard his very bearing at this monumental association with you — a damn unicorn of a scene snatched out a comedy fantasy movie.
Heeseung asks carefully, “Are you, like, her boy toy or something?”
Riki whips around with the flush of unpredictability and utter shock. “What? No!”
Heeseung grins again, gentler this time. “Okay, not her boy toy. What now?”
Riki exhales, long and slow, falling back supine against the floor with the decency of a man with boundaries and the understanding of someone brilliant to keep himself away. “Nothing. She has a boyfriend. She lives in a different world.”
It’s realistic. He thinks he’ll drag the shit out of his stash to get his mind off this, because Riki Nishimura was a conformist by all means.
You’re where you’re supposed to be.
You laugh at the jokes while dawdling down the hallway with girls you actually consider your friends, your boyfriend’s arm heavy around your shoulders like it belongs there. You learned how to roll your own joints now, practiced with irritated little shrieks until it stopped being embarrassing, until they came out neat and perfect between your fingers. You don’t need him. You don’t need anyone, actually. Independence always looked good and natural on you.
Then Riki walks past with Heeseung and Jay.
Backpacks slung low, shoes dragging lazily against the floor, laughing about something stupid like someone’s terrible quiz score. Riki’s eyes stay forward like always, keeping his business private from everyone. Especially from you.
You don’t acknowledge each other beyond the bare minimum of peripheral awareness of two classmates that happen to be in the same class and two planets in the same orbit. Your boyfriend tightens his arm around you, leaning down to murmur something about lunch plans. You nod, glossed lips wrapped around a lollipop, sugar sweet and cherry-flavored on your tongue. You should be listening, you’re sure you are, until he passes.
Your eyes follow Riki — not openly, just enough to catch the back of his neck, the familiar slope of his shoulders, the same boy who leaned against a bathroom wall while you were high and laughing too much, knees brushing his because the room was small and neither of you moved away.
The lollipop slides down your tongue: all artificial sugar because the substance stays at home in the back of your secret drawer, while some of it just passed you down the hallway.
“I’ll catch up,” you say lightly, lifting your boyfriend’s arm off your shoulders. “I forgot something.”
You slip away before anyone can think too hard about it, weaving through the hallway with your lollipop still between your lips. You keep enough distance to make it look accidental, watching as Heeseung and Jay split off with quick fist bumps and loud voices. Riki keeps walking and pushes open the door to an empty lecture hall before disappearing inside.
You stop outside, remembering that this is probably the part where you’re supposed to turn around. Where the perfect, reasonable version of you remembers her boyfriend, her friends, her place in the hallway. Where the status quo reaches for your wrist and pulls you back into line.
Well, you push the door open.
Riki is near the front row, one hand still on the strap of his bag when he looks up from his seat, legs spread wide, thumbs midway to scroll through his phone. His eyes widen slightly, posture going still like he did not think you’d actually follow him.
For some reason, it thrills you. Because now he’s looking at you.
You pull the lollipop from your mouth, twirling the stick between your fingers as the door clicks shut behind you. “Hey.”
His eyes flick briefly to the door behind you. “You lost?”
This isn’t a bathroom of some random houseparty. There’s no smoke, no music, no excuse, just you, Riki, and an empty lecture hall in the middle of the school day — which means you came here on purpose.
“You should roll a joint for me again,” you say, like it’s so simple. “One of these nights.”
Riki blinks once. Then he huffs out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “What, you haven’t learned since last time?”
You step closer anyway, slow and unhurried, allowed to exist wherever you want. He leans back against his seat, still careful and invisibly (but truly) restless. “I did.” you answer, then you smile small and lazy. “You’re just better at it.”
That gets him (because you’ve been knowing what to say to get him). His eyes lift to you, amused now, something low and unreadable settling there which sets you on fire because you have no idea what he’s thinking, not even a little hint.
“Flattery,” he says, then scoffs.
You hum and step closer, close enough that his knee is almost in front of your thigh. Riki leans back in his seat, one arm loose over the desk beside him, phone forgotten in his lap.
“There’s another party this weekend,” you say. “At McKay’s. You and your friends should go.”
He tilts his head. “Should we?”
“I think so.” You shrug. “Good music, large pad, beer games.”
He chuckles, eyes dropping briefly to the floor before meeting yours again. “And you’ll be there.”
“Probably.”
“And you’ll want me to roll one for you.”
You pull the lollipop from your mouth, tapping it lightly against your lower lip as you think. “If you’re offering.”
“I’m not,” he says, but his mouth twitches.
You lean back against the edge of the desk beside him, copying his ease like you have any right to be comfortable around him. From far away, it would look casual, just two classmates talking before class. Except there’s only you standing between him and the empty rows, him sitting back in his seat, looking up at you with that unreadable expression while you try not to smile too much.
He should probably feel insulted that you only do this when nobody can see — maybe he does, if he still believes in self-respect. It’s just hard to stay offended when you’re looking at him like that.
Riki nods once. “I’ll think about it.”
Satisfied, you push off the table and head for the door. “Cool.”
When the door shuts behind you, he thinks about red eyes and smoke, about how your usual crowd will be there, your boyfriend’s arm around you just before you sneak away to Riki’s.
You’re trouble, which makes Riki smile. ‘Cause he knows damn well he’s going to that party.
-
McKay’s house is already vibrating when Riki gets there with Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon — bass rattling the windows, someone yelling about cups, someone else yelling back about something incomprehensible. Riki isn’t a frat boy at all, and he doesn’t really go to parties, but the perfume layered on top of alcohol is basically familiar territory.
“This place is a fire hazard,” Jake mutters, stepping over a discarded heel.
Riki scans the room pretending he doesn’t mean to, observing layouts and people, when really he’s actually looking for one specific designer wardrobe of a person.
He doesn’t see you, but he sees your usual crowd scattered around the room, posing with red cups they barely drink from and laughing a little too loud whenever someone points a camera at them. You’re not there, nor is your boyfriend, and that usually speaks for itself already.
Heeseung nudges him, already mischievous with the smile Riki can’t see. “Little Miss Perfect?”
“Fuck off,” Riki replies, flat.
Jake’s halfway to disbelief when he narrows his eyes at Riki. “You’re already staring.”
“She’s not even here,” the former hisses.
“Looking for her, though.” Sunghoon teases, practically grinning widely.
Riki pushes past them. “I’m getting a drink.”
He doesn’t get a drink. He goes through hallways and in between bodies that nudge abruptly into him, half-assed apologies going through one ear and out the other while he properly finds footing again and again. When he gets to the bathroom and finds it locked, he groans and leans back against the wall. For now, he flicks the light on his own joint and smokes away while he waits — for you, for the bathroom, for anything to make him think going here was worth it at all.
Too many girls brush against him, too many of them apologizing with tilted heads and lashes batting. He has no interest in rewarding the performance, not tonight, not when the party is already crawling under his skin, all bass-heavy music, sticky floors, smoke in the air, perfume clinging to his throat, and people packed so tightly he can’t move without touching someone. It’s too much at once; too loud, too hot, too bright, too dark. Then he sees it, and everything in him goes still.
Your boyfriend has another girl pushed against the bedroom wall.
Riki sees this through the crack of the door, just slightly opened enough for him to see how he moves his hand underneath her skirt really fucking aggressively. They’re kissing too, and it’s not at all sweet or even arousing; it’s just straight out gross. He chokes, coughing so rough and loud and forward he has to lunge himself off the wall and straight through the crowd because his first instinct is you.
Your boyfriend is cheating on you.
What the fuck is happening? Why’s your boyfriend fucking a girl like someone who knows nothing about clits? Now, Riki isn’t an expert about pleasing women but he’s watched porn enough to know that Exhibit A over there was straight-up persecution.
He finally spots you near the kitchen, talking to one of your friends with a cup in your hand. He starts toward you, but someone shoves past from behind, and he bumps lightly into your shoulder. You turn, already halfway to apologizing until you see him, your face already changing before you can stop it.
“You came,” you say, eyes flicking around before coming back to him.
He’s kinda out of breath, from the smoke and from hurrying, but he smiles too. “Yeah.”
While you’re still smiling, Riki clears his throat. It’s casual like he’s asking for a lighter, not like he’s abput to derail your night, ‘cause truth be told, he’s not sure he knows how you’ll react to the information. To be honest, he thinks about how it’s only fair — maybe — because he doubts your boyfriend knows you sneak into bathrooms with another guy. And sure, his hand isn’t performing DJ on your pussy, but the shared secrecy of eye contact with loaded tension is much more intimate than whatever the hell that was.
“Uh,” he says, hand rubbing on his jeans. “Can we talk? Like. Somewhere quieter.”
You blink. Then you nod, already stepping closer so he has to lean down to hear you.
“Bathroom or outside?” you ask, half-teasing.
“Outside,” he says easily.
The night is cold enough to make everything feel quieter, like it’s only the two of you standing under someone’s porch light while music leaks through the walls behind you. It’s strange, because you’re not even friends, not really, but the little space between you feels private in a way Riki doesn’t know what to do with. He exhales slowly, like he’s been holding his breath since the second he walked into the house, then leans back against the railing and looks at you standing across from him.
He tries finding the words first, but the way you’re looking at him tightens his chest faster than his brain can work out. Is this karma for your cheating boyfriend? Is he the instrument God has given you to slam notes back to the guy you’re practically cheating on too?
Then Riki clears his throat, casual as hell. “I saw something inside,” he continues, tone still chill but eyes a little sharper now. “Your boyfriend.”
Your smile falters. “What about him?”
“He’s, uh.” Riki taps ash off the joint. “He was fucking a girl. On a wall.”
You stare at him for a while, and he’s half-expecting you to lash out, on him, on the crowd, on your boyfriend, on something.
Instead, you laugh this small, amused breath that slips out of you before you shrug, like he told you your boyfriend spilled punch on his shirt and not that he had just seen him with another girl.
What the fuck is happening?
It feels a lot like you don’t care and that surprises Riki leading him down a rabbit hole of introspection. He was already expecting you to cry and sob or scream in the party about how much of a dick he is, how you trusted him and gave him everything — all things they do when they find out their boyfriends are cheaters.
No, you just, “Wow.” then huff a laugh. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”
He blinks once, watching you carefully while you regather your thoughts as a woman who’s been said something paltry rather than an admission of an affair. To be honest, Riki doesn’t understand, so now he just stands there and looks stunned. And confused. Very confused, actually.
Riki squints at you like he’s trying to solve a trick question. “That’s it?” he asks. “That’s your reaction?”
You shrug, lifting your cup to your lips for a sip. “I mean. It’s been happening. “We’re just sorta together for our parents. They’re friends so… but that’s a story for another night.”
Oh. He never thought fake relationships were a thing.
That makes sense. How come Riki didn’t know? Was he so out of touch from school gossips hat he genuinely didn’t know that you’re actually not the perfect couple he thought you two were? Is that why Heeseung and Jake and Sunghoon didn’t react so badly? Has this been a thing? Oh my God, Riki’s ecstatic and he hasn’t even finished a joint yet.
He lets out a quick, unguarded sound. “Jesus.”
You lean back against the railing across from him, far too relaxed for a revelation that should have ruined someone’s eyeliner. Riki watches you for a second, waiting for the anger, the hurt, the sharp inhale before you turn and storm back inside. But you just stand there, cup in hand, looking more inconvenienced than heartbroken.
That’s when it hits him, slow and weirdly humiliating, that you might not care about the relationship at all.
“But,” you say lightly, “thanks for telling me.”
He blinks, then shakes his head a little. “Yeah.” His voice comes out slower than usual. “No worries.”
You glance at the joint between his fingers, your eyes lingering a second too long on the veins along his hand. “You always this heroic when you’re high?”
“No,” he says, deadpan. “It’s just who I am.”
You laugh, and despite everything, his mouth twitches. He looks back toward the door, half-expecting your boyfriend to come out and make the night complicated. When no one does, he relaxes, shoulders easing, but not completely.
Because this is new information.
Someone inside screams the chorus to a song, and the night’s way too cold for the silence that buzzes. Riki offers the joint without looking at you, just holds it out between two fingers like it’s nothing.
You hesitate for half a second. But you take it.
“You have a car?” you suddenly ask while you take a puff.
Riki blinks once, then lets out a quiet laugh, dragging his thumb along the bridge of his nose. Right, so this is his life now. He sells you weed one time, and somehow he’s standing outside a party while your boyfriend (?) cheats inside and you look mildly bored about it.
It’s stupid. It’s also the most interesting thing that’s happened to him in months.
So he just sighs and slumps back a little. “Yeah. I do.”
“Let’s go,” you say, completely not a question, flicking the finished joint on the pavement and trampling it beneath your heel. “I wanna smoke.”
He lets you trail after him through the side yard like this is already something you do, like he isn’t silently praying no one sees you following him away from the party. Gravel crunches under your shoes, the bass growing duller behind you as you cross the street toward his Supra, parked sleek and dark under the streetlamp. Riki unlocks it without looking back, rounds the hood, and opens the passenger door for you like it’s nothing.
You notice. You just don’t say anything.
Inside, the car actually smells clean and like coffee, for someone you’ve assumed is mad about marijuana and sorts alike (well, again, he’s proven how neat he is just for smelling so fucking good). He slides into the driver’s seat and just sits there for a second before turning the engine on, heater clicking low.
The silence settles, but it doesn’t feel awkward, which Riki finds suspicious. Maybe it’s because you’re not acting like the version of you he’s used to, all neat edges and perfect timing. Now your heels are on the floor of his car, your hair is loose around your face, and you’re curled into the passenger seat of a Supra you’ve never sat in before like your body decided to trust him before your brain could argue. He clears his throat, trying to get rid of the warmth at the back of his neck, but you only glance at him like you don’t notice. The hem of your skirt rides up consequently, and he tries his hardest not to look.
“Thanks. For caring.”
He shrugs, one hand resting loose on the steering wheel. “Didn’t feel right not to tell you.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“Yeah,” he says quietly. “I know.”
The radio flicks on — some pop song bleeding through the speakers. He then pulls out pre-rolled joints from his pockets, which he sheepishly apologizes for hygiene and, well, it’s a bit delated, although you just smile and take one. He lights yours up and you two stay there, settled in his warm seats, dissolving the chill with cannabis down your system like two people who doesn’t give a shit about the system and fucking power dynamics and popularity status.
Again, weird. Hanging out in his car like you’re old buddies who smoke in free time on the usual.
If he told himself a month ago that he would be smoking weed with the team cheer captain, he would have laughed his ass off about inhaling too much narcotics that totally screwed mental frameworks. Yet now, he’s stealing a few glances at you beside him, getting high off his greens, and he doesn’t feel completely off-center about it. It’s the weed obviously, but he feels steady. It’s charged because you’re not talking but your thoughts are everywhere, and even if you protrude the profile of indifference — he knows you care. Then again, what does he know about you, right? You are the odd in the equation, the alternative hypothesis that proves the difference in variables, and talks about the impact on the situation.
Now, conformist Riki Nishimura, who has spent his whole life respecting the ladder, is starting to wonder what happens if he climbs high enough to stand beside someone like you.
He stares through the windshield the second before he speaks. “You’re not what people think you are.”
You blink, caught off guard as you turn to him. “Is that good or bad?”
He huffs. “Depends who’s thinking it.”
You smile a little, your eyes moving over him before you can pretend they didn’t. Riki isn’t brawny in that loud, gym-mirror way, but he’s taller than he should be, broader than he looks from a distance, and unfairly very put together. His throat moves when he breathes in, and you catch yourself watching it for one embarrassing second too long.
You chew on your bottom lip. “And what do you think?”
Riki shifts in his seat, hand fidgeting against the wheel like he’s weighing how honest he’s allowed to be. “I think you’re quieter than your reputation.”
You study him now — the calm posture, the way he never overdoes anything, the way his voice stays even like he’s learned not to tip his hand.
He glances at you, then back ahead. “Makes it easier.”
You look at him for a second too long. “Easier for who?”
“You tell me.”
The car feels smaller and the windows are fogged enough that the streetlamp outside is just a blur of light now, like you’ve been sealed off from everything else. Away from the reality that boxes you two into something that makes sense rather than accepts.
You laugh once, but it comes out softer than planned. “You always psychoanalyze girls in your car?”
“No.”
“Just me?”
His mouth twitches. “You asked.”
You turn your head toward the window, trying to keep your face normal. “You don’t know me that well.”
“I know.”
Riki finally turns to you, one hand still resting loose on the steering wheel. His eyes are a little low, a little unreadable, but not careless — that might be the problem.
“I’m not saying I do,” he says. “I’m saying people don’t either.”
Your fingers fidget with the joint, rolling it carefully between them even though you’re barely paying attention to it anymore. The tip glows faintly, forgotten for a second, and Riki reaches over without thinking to tap the ash into the tray before it can fall on your skirt.
You look down at his hand, then back at him when he hands it to you.
“Don’t you think that’s weird?” you ask. “Like, what kind of girl is cheer captain and smokes weed? Who gets into a fake relationship because of her parents? Doesn’t that sound kind of fucked?”
He looks at you for a moment.
Then he leans back, eyes returning to the windshield. “I sell weed.”
He says it from the driver’s seat of a spotless car that smells like coffee and cologne. It’s stupidly funny, actually, the whole contrast of him that kinda looks like you.
You laugh before you can stop yourself. “That’s different.”
“How?” he snickers.
You open your mouth, then close it again because you don’t actually have a good answer. “I don’t know,” you admit, laughing a little. “It just is.”
He hums like he expected that. Then he glances at you before back through the windshield. “I don’t think you’re weird,” His eyes flick over your face. “I think you’re bored.”
Obviously, that makes you furrow your brows. Obviously, you let him continue speaking.
“Of your boyfriend. Your friends. Your parents already knowing what you’re going to do.” His mouth twitches faintly. “Probably bored at being good at the same shit every day.”
You should probably deny it. It surprises you that you don’t, even though you’ve sworn hatred towards men that think they can assume your personality because of one little circumstance.
“That’s why you’re here, right?” Riki’s eyes drop to your hand, then back to your face.
Your throat tightens.
“With me,” he adds.
He doesn’t smile like he won, he just sits there with one hand loose on the wheel, like he already knows the answer and is kind enough not to make you say it.
The air between you feels worse, like the moment before a storm cracks open into his car, and electrocutes you with a spark you’ve never experienced in your life. Which is eccentric considering you’re not the type of girl who’d be in Riki’s car instead of a party dominated by your friends, getting high off shit that would make your parents pass out.
You scoff and look away, shaking your head like the whole thing is ridiculous. “You talk like you know everything.”
“I just guessed one fucking thing.”
You roll the joint between your fingers again, slower now. “Maybe I just wanted to try something.”
“With me?”
Your eyes cut to him, and you see there’s a slight curve to his mouth, like he heard the shape of your answer before you even made it.
You huff. “You’re so annoying.”
Neither of you moves. Just suspended there, breathing the same warm air, the song on the radio dissolving into background noise, the world narrowed down to inches and intent and maybe weak will and strong urges. The tension’s palpable, solid enough that you could feel it grow between your thighs.
You’re probably one more joint away from being zooted, and Riki knows this of course, which is why he keeps his eyes narrowed across him and not the woman who’s audibly shifting in her seat.
He’s high too — faster than usual — and it makes the moment stretch in this you know kind because he’s thinking bad. He keeps his gaze trained somewhere between the fogged windshield and the blur of your reflection in it, like it’s the only thing keeping him at bay.
For the record — you’re both twenty, obviously adults, even if the world still insists on calling you kids. Which is also the very age people let you experience the paradox of being too grown and too immature for anything consistent, so the underestimation you endure as an adult, smart woman, cheerleader, and a kinda-child — wow you’re in deep detestation for that system.
So you take control of things you can handle.
You’re a conformist, no doubt. Except in areas you loathe men’s freedom in yet expect restraint for women. So… in diminutive ways, you indulge. Like weed. Like running council. Like wearing short skirts. Like Riki Nishimura.
You glance at him sideways, voice light, almost bored. Almost. “So,” you say, like you’re asking about his major or what song’s playing on the radio. “I will ask you something kind of personal.”
Riki exhales a quiet laugh. “You’re already in my car smoking my weed. I think the line’s gone.”
You smile, satisfied, then tilt your head back against the seat.
“Are you a virgin?”
The question hangs there. Unembellished and very dangerous in its simplicity. Also, of course, bold, which makes Riki actually freeze — a half-second pause where even his breathing stutters. Then he scoffs, shaking his head like he can’t believe you just dropped that between the heater hum and the low bass leaking from the house.
He blames the weed, though part of him wishes it isn’t from that.
“You always ask things like that?”
“I’m curious,” you say easily. “And a little high.” you gesture with your thumb and forefinger.
He rubs the back of his neck, eyes flicking to you now despite himself. “Why?” he asks. “Does it change your opinion of me?”
You meet his gaze, unblinking. “I don’t know yet. That’s why I asked.”
He huffs a soft laugh. He admits to embarrassment, even if it doesn’t cover his entire skin with flush and heat, he’s never found himself in this position. But honestly, nothing from the past few weeks has ever been something he prepared for — which he has you to blame, of course.
“Yeah.” he licks the corner of his lips, refusing to meet your eyes while he taps the steering wheel. “I am.”
Your eyebrows lift, impressed but not shocked. “Huh.”
Riki looks over. “Huh?” he mocks.
You bite back a smile and turn toward the window, but the reflection gives you away. “I just didn’t expect that.”
He scoffs, looking back at the windshield. “Why?”
“I don’t know.” You shrug, still smiling a little. “You sell weed. And you drive this car.”
“And?”
“And you look like that.”
For one second, Riki’s fingers still on the steering wheel, and he learns to shut up. He lets out a quiet laugh after, but it sounds different this time, lower and almost embarrassed. “You’re so fucking high,”
That makes him quiet, makes him adjust on his seat. He’s touched a woman before, but no one’s ever sat on his dick, nor has he ever been in anyone. So maybe he’s half a virgin, maybe he’s just a sore loser. He watches you as you move, as you turn in the seat, knees pressing into the leather, facing him fully now. The space changes instantly, the air recalibrating around your movement and maybe even pushing you further toward him.
Riki stiffens — just suddenly very aware, and perhaps a little scared. “Uh,” he says, brows knitting. “What are you doing?”
You tilt your head, resting your hands casually on the seat, perfectly balanced. “Bored, like you said,” you say. “And my boyfriend’s cheating on me. Again.”
He swallows. His gaze drops, then snaps back up to your face, like he’s trying very hard to stay respectful and failing in slow motion because you’re especially gorgeous tonight. “That’s… not a great combo,” he says.
“Not really,” you agree.
You lean in just enough for him to feel it — not touch, not yet. Just close enough that he can smell your gloss, the faint sweetness still clinging to you, and the cannabis that if he warrants himself the scary concept, is his mark on you.
“At least you don’t think I’m boring.”
Riki exhales, a real one this time, like he’s surrendering to the moment instead of fighting it because what can a simple guy like him do, right? His eyes flick to your mouth again — longer now — and when he looks back up, there’s a decision there, from someone who’s tired of conforming.
You close the distance then, slow enough that he could pull away if he wanted to. When he doesn’t, your lips meet in a kiss that’s brief and soft at first. Riki’s hand lifts instinctively, stopping just short of your waist, hovering there like he’s giving you the choice.
When you kiss again, you’re pressing harder, with the very intent to steal the air from his lungs. So that is what happens, you inhale and climb over the console and close your knees around his waist and he’s breathing shakily against your mouth, fighting for the oxygen he’s willingly giving away.
Your cunt presses against the zipper of his jeans, and when you roll, he pulls away like he’s burnt.
“W-wait — this isn’t — we can’t do this.” He shakes his head insistently, looking down your joined thighs while he regains composure.
You frown. “Why not?”
He looks back up at you, eyes wide and glossy from the taste of your cherry gloss and his greens in your mouth. He looks like he can’t handle this. You’re high, he’s high, this isn’t a good idea. You’re perfect, he’s not, this isn’t a good idea. You’re pretty and he sells weed, this isn’t a good idea.
“Because you have a boyfriend.” he says weakly.
You smile, fingers brushing into the hair at his nape. “Not really.”
He stares at you before he laughs, quiet and disbelieving, like the whole situation is so stupid he has no choice but to let it be funny for half a second. You’re in his lap, his car is fogged, your party is across the street, and apparently your boyfriend is more of a family arrangement than an actual person you care about.
“This is so fucked,” he mutters.
Still, he kisses you anyway. His hand finally settles at your waist, firm enough to make your breath catch. His fingers press into your flesh just before he pulls you closer and his hips thrusts up underneath you.
His bulge presses hard against your clothed cunt, and a small whimper slips out his mouth. Your thighs practically clench around him, your core tightening as you rub yourself on him. Beneath the jeans secured around his hips, the start of his v-line peeks, in which you softly graze with your thumb.
“F-fuck,” he whispers, resigned while he lets his head fall back against the headrest.
When you kiss him again this time, it’s slow and languid and licking into his mouth, and your hips start rolling against his while he unconsciously bucks into you. You gasp at the feeling of his growing erection despite the jeans, and you can’t help but feel rushed because it’s been way too long.
His body’s hot and he doesn’t understand why he can’t even talk properly. “Are you okay?” you ask, kissing his cheek. He just nods.
“This is so wrong,” Riki says softly and raspy.
You just smile and kiss him again, feeling how sloppy he’s starting to become when your tongues meet. You set the pace, careful with how you bite and suck, more of a learning curve with what you like best rather than devouring. Riki realizes this and slows down too, relaxing underneath your thighs while his cock remains bulging against you. Your soft fingers slither at the back of his hair, tugging and caressing, while he finds the courage to sneak his tongue into your mouth.
When you pull to breathe, he’s practically panting. “You can touch me.” you whisper.
His gaze practically flicks up to look up at you, silently asking for clarification. You don’t use words, you instead take his wrists and start dragging his hands from your waist to underneath your shirt. His breath hitches at the feeling of your soft skin against his, watching intently as you guide his hands further beneath your cotton top, until his fingers slightly grazes the soft swell of the underside of your breasts.
“Shit.” Riki mutters, his breath unstable when you let go. He looks for your eyes, asking for instructions, except you just smile and lean in to kiss him again with your hands on his jaw.
So he takes it upon himself to move by his own. His fingers grazes the soft skin, careful and learning, testing the underside swell by gently squeezing. After that, he gains confidence, hands going further up until they touch your nipples.
You gasp, pulling away to breathe when he starts gently pinching them, rolling them against the pads of his fingertips. He plays with them for a little while, watching your reactions when you sigh heavy, when your eyes close, when you lean further against his touch. It’s so good, he doesn’t even notice how painfully hard he is when he can feel just how sensitive your nipples are, when he can feel the weight of your breast as he cups them.
After a while, he finally stops, hands gliding down your ribs instead, thumbs still grazing slightly at the curve. Your kissing eases, reduced to pecks and softness. At rest and caress, you giggle and he chuckles, finally reeling in from the moment at how high he feels.
From your taste, your softness, your clothed pussy still pressing against his hard-on.
“You’re good for a virgin.” you say.
At that, Riki huffs and leans his head back against the rest, caressing your waist while he watches your face. You’re very pretty, even when your lipsticks smudged and you’re clearly teasing him, not touching him at all.
He doesn’t mind. He doesn’t think he’ll mind for a long time. “I’m trying to make decent decisions.”
You tilt your head. “And kissing me is one?”
His jaw tightens a little, but he smiles. “It’s a very bad decision.”
“Mm.” You lean closer, but you don’t kiss him this time. “You stopped.”
“Because I don’t want to be your rebound,”
The teasing fades just a little. Your fingers, which had been lazily tracing the back of his neck, slow, and now you look at him too, at the way he’s looking at you like something cliche is about to happen now that he’s tasted something better than marijuana.
“You think I’d use you?” you ask.
He shrugs. “I don’t know.”
You study him for a moment. His nose and ears are still pink, which admittedly does something to you. It makes him look shyer somehow, less untouchable, like all that quiet control has slipped just enough for you to see he’s not as unaffected as he wants to seem.
He looks back at you, thumb moving once at your waist. “Let me take you out.”
You stare at him. “You’re asking me on a date right now? While I’m sitting on you?”
His mouth twitches despite himself. “Not my best timing.”
You laugh, soft and surprised, but he doesn’t laugh with you right away. You lean in again, slower and softer, just lips meeting and staying there, but his breath still hitches. You lets it last for a few seconds before you pull back, still close enough that your noses nearly brush.
“Ask me when we’re not high.”
Then he laughs once, quiet and disbelieving, his hand flexing at your waist. “Fine.”
Riki drives you home that night and you arrive at around 3 am, friends completely unaware of where you are or who you’re with — but you don’t care, even when your phone’s blown out of weird proportion. You laugh when he insists on walking you to your front porch, just to make sure you don’t slip and fall and he wouldn’t lose his favorite weed customer.
“You’re ridiculous, Riki Nishimura.” you shove at his arm weakly.
“And you,” he leans down enough that his nose nudges yours. “are so pretty.”
You laugh harder, admittedly a little flustered the way you never have been before. He tells you to eat something real when you head in, and you mock him for it but he just smiles and nods, agrees with the idea he is so, very stupid and funny for you.
Riki thinks the universe is testing him. Because ever since last night, every single thing reminds him of you.
The cherry gloss taste still ghosting his mouth when he wakes up, the faint perfume lingering on his hoodie, even the stupid heater smell in the car feels different now, like the seats remember the way you climbed over the console and kissed him until his dick ached for you.
“Dude,” Jake says, throwing his duffel bag. “You look like shit.”
Riki drags a hand through his hair. “Thanks.”
Jake doesn’t push it, which Riki appreciates for about three seconds before he sees where the cheer team is practicing. On the other side of the gym court, you’re standing with your friends, ponytail tied high, hands on your hips while you go over counts as the captain. You’re not doing anything special, occasionally laughing at something one of the girls beside you says, but Riki still feels his attention pull toward you like it has no discipline left.
He looks away first.
PE is already starting by the time he reaches their side of the court. He pulls his sleeveless shirt down properly and rolls his shoulders once, mostly because he needs something to do with his body. His hair keeps falling near his eyes, and he can feel sweat gathering at the back of his neck before class has even properly started.
He tells himself not to look. But then he looks.
You’re already looking too.
It only lasts a second. Your eyes meet his, then drop briefly to his arms before you turn back to your friends like nothing happened. Riki presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek and looks at the ball in his hands, suddenly way too aware of himself.
Jake notices, but all he does is glance between the two of you. “Since when do you know her like that?”
Riki bounces the ball once. “I don’t.”
Jake gives him a look. Riki doesn’t look back. “Not like that.”
“Okay.”
The drill starts, and for a while, it’s just run, catch, dribble, pass, move. Riki focuses on the court, on the PE teacher’s whistle, on the ball against his palms. It works for half the time, until your voice cuts across the space, counting with the rest of the cheer team, and he misses a pass by half a second.
“Pay attention,” Jake says, not even laughing.
“I am.”
“You’re really not.”
Later, when the class breaks for water, Riki walks toward the drinking fountain and finds you there already, refilling your bottle. Your friends are a few steps away, talking among themselves, close enough to notice if either of you makes it obvious, far enough that neither of you has to pretend not to see each other.
He stands behind you to wait for his turn, and from afar, it doesn't look scandalous. You take your time refilling your bottle, eyes forward, one hand steadying the plastic under the stream. He keeps his gaze on the wall in front of you, jaw working once, because he knows exactly what you're doing when you lean a little farther than necessary and let the silence stretch.
Your skirt shifts when you bend, showing the backside of your thighs and the slight swell of your ass, and he sighs through his nose like he's deeply disappointed in both of you. Then he looks away completely.
You bite back a smile.
When the bottle finally fills, you straighten and cap it slowly, still not moving right away. He doesn't meet your eyes when you step aside, he just moves in, bends toward the fountain, and presses one hand against the edge for balance.
Then it's your turn to look away. But you don't, not even shamelessly. Because you’re the girl who got things her way and never got scared of the repercussions.
His sleeveless shirt pulls against his shoulders when he leans down, arm tense from holding himself there, the veins along his bicep showing under the gym lights. Water hits his mouth, and you watch the way his hair falls near his eyes, the way his throat moves when he swallows. It's stupid, actually, how normal he's being and how much worse that makes it.
Riki finishes drinking, straightens, and wipes the water from his chin with the back of his hand. Only then does he look at you.
You're still staring. And for a second, neither of you says anything.
His expression barely changes, but something in his eyes does, like he caught you and decided not to make it easy. "What?"
You blink, then lift your bottle a little. "You took forever."
He looks at you, calm, unreadable, except for the faint color rising at the tips of his ears and the slight lift on the corner of his mouth. "You're one to talk."
Your friends laugh at something behind you, and the sound snaps the moment thinner, not enough to break it, but enough to remind you both where you are. You glance over your shoulder, then back at him, only to find he's still watching you. Not obviously, just enough to show that he knows exactly what that night did to you, and worse, exactly what this day is doing too.
And that he’s enjoying the view.
You tuck your bottle against your chest and step back. "Try not to miss another pass."
His mouth curves. "Then don't distract me."
The second he says it, your smile gets bigger, like a shared inside joke between you two now. Then you turn back to your team, and he stays by the fountain for one extra second, pretending the afternoon heat is the reason he can't stop feeling warm. In the locker room, he pretends it’s celibacy that’s making his cock hard again, and not the picture of you bending in front of him, the fat of your ass presenting itself to him so adorably.
In the cafeteria, while pages turn and keyboards clack for an upcoming test for biology, you try your best to stay focused the way you can on the usual. Riki was right about you — you were smarter than what people thought, and the merit beside your name is shocking to a whole lot when it’s pasted on the board.
You think you’re no longer smart. Not when you’re staring at the open reviewer in front of you, color coded with little sticky tabs but you’re still distracted.
You grab your coffee and drink, just to try if that could help with your lost concentration. Something about protein synthesis and cell division. Something about how Riki’s hands looked wrapped around the steering wheel that one night while he called you weird and interesting in the same breath.
This is so inconvenient.
“Babe.”
Your boyfriend slides into the empty chair beside you like he owns the furniture, sunglasses pushed up on his head even though the cafeteria lighting could barely offend a bitch. His hand settles automatically on your thigh beneath the table, casual and familiar, and you almost flinch.
“You disappeared last night,” he says casually.
You lean back in your chair. “I told you I left.”
“Yeah, but where?”
You think briefly about Riki’s car parked under the streetlamp — fogged windows, heated air, cherry gloss smeared on his mouth, plump lips smirking in restraint, hands squeezing you in the right place, keeping you in place.
“I just went home,” you reply smoothly.
Your boyfriend hums, clearly unconvinced, but also has about three seconds of emotional stamina left for the topic, so he lets it go and steals one of your fries instead. “My parents want dinner with you this weekend.” he says instead.
He continues talking about it but you’re staring at the flashcards and reviewers in front of you, imagining what your parents would say if Riki would’ve showed up to a family dinner instead. Maybe he’d appear in different clothes, a white button-up just to sit there and attempt to look polite in ways he isn’t with you — which makes your heart jump a little.
Dinner drags on for three excruciating hours.
Three whole hours of crystal glasses and polished silverware and your boyfriend’s parents discussing investment portfolios. The restaurant is one of those stupidly expensive places where portions are microscopic and every waiter looks vaguely judgmental — you don’t complain, you’re rather very grateful for his parents (sometimes).
You sat there in a pretty dress your mother picked out. Your boyfriend talks over you twice when you try contributing to the conversation, his mother asks about your grades before asking how cheerleading is going, like academics and aesthetics are the only two things remotely interesting about you. At some point, your boyfriend likes another girl’s Instagram story right beside you at the table and everything about the night is just bad.
You just feel tired, especially on the way home.
Tired in the way performances always leave you feeling like you’ve spent hours acting inside a role you got stuck with years ago — because it mostly worked in your favor, until that one time you decided to jump out of your comfort zone and try weed. It’s the worst thing you have done, but it’s the only thing that made you feel good.
Your heels click quietly against the marble floors when you enter your house and you make it halfway upstairs before the pressure behind your eyes finally cracks. Obviously, you don’t sob out of sadness, just frustrated tears slipping down your cheeks while you struggle with the zipper of your dress. “Fuck,” you mutter.
Your makeup’s ruined now; mascara faintly smudged beneath your eyes, lipstick mostly gone except for traces still staining your mouth.
Before you can think too hard about it — which is kind of bad — you open Riki’s contact, and your fingers move faster than your dignity can intervene.
you:
he actually sucks so bad
like genuinely i think talking to drywall has more nuance
You exhale through your nose and laugh weakly at yourself because obviously Riki probably has better things to do than babysit you after 9PM, not when you’re just another weed customer and smoking buddy he had. You toss your phone onto the bed and sit in silence for a second, still in your dress, earrings discarded somewhere.
You try not to think about anything for the minutes you’ve spent staring at the ceiling: not about Riki, or your dumb boyfriend, or your (im)perfect life, or the way Riki kissed you, or the way he looked at you, or the way he thought about you.
Because that's the part that bothers you most. Not the kiss itself, not even the fact that you wanted it, but the way he seemed to actually think about you before touching you. Like you weren't just pretty or convenient or someone people liked because you made sense beside them. Riki looked at you like he was trying to understand you, and somehow that felt more intimate than anything you've ever had.
And maybe that makes you painfully average.
Maybe you’re not special at all, maybe you’re just another girl in the long, embarrassing history of girls who developed feelings for the first boy who looked at them like they were a person. Congratulations, really. Very original and groundbreaking, for being part of the emotionally confused teenage girls.
You turn onto your side and press your face into your pillow, immediately hating yourself for how dramatic that feels.
Until something taps three times against your window.
Your brows furrow immediately because your bedroom is on the second floor and nobody normally knocks on windows like some suburban horror movie, you don’t even try to look because of what could be there. For a second, you genuinely think you’re hallucinating from emotional exhaustion and expensive restaurant food and maybe (you did not do prior research) the possibility of the long term hallucinations of marijuana.
Then it happens again. Three deliberate taps.
You sit up slowly from the edge of your bed, the strap of your dress slipping off one shoulder while your heels remain abandoned somewhere near the door. When you turn to the window, your heart practically falls from your chest when you see Riki standing outside like a fucking delinquent moron. He’s standing on the roof of the first floor near your window, hoodie sleeves pushed to his elbows, while one hand steadies himself against the frame.
You burst out laughing while fumbling with the lock of your window. Riki’s entire expression softens the second he hears you laugh and that does something unhealthy to him.
Because he drove for twenty minutes thinking about you crying over some guy who doesn’t even look at you properly, wondering if climbing a house at this hour officially qualifies as insanity (he’s never done that before, and it doesn’t sound so conformist right now either). Riki’s usually good at self-restraint, at risk assessment, at understanding what makes sense and what doesn’t.
For the record, this doesn’t make sense. Yet here he is anyway.
“Hi.”
You stare at him in disbelief once you finally open your window. “What the fuck are you doing?” you whisper-yell.
“You sounded sad.”
“Is that supposed to be an answer?”
“What?” he says defensively while climbing inside carefully. “You said your boyfriend sucks. That sounded shitty.”
The second he lands properly inside your room, he looks at you before anything else. He’s used to seeing you fixed with perfect hair, perfect smile, perfect posture, like you just stepped out of a university brochure about good conduct and that the school cheer spirit is something one definitely needs for personal development.
This version of you feels familiar, and traitorously and selfishly, he thinks it’s for him.
Your dress is wrinkled now, your jewelry sits slightly crooked against your skin, your makeup’s smudged enough to expose the eyebags underneath, and your hair’s started falling from whatever expensive style you wore to dinner.
Riki swallows once before he can stop himself. “You were crying?”
Immediately, you look away, a bit embarrassed when you realize what you look like. “Don’t make it weird.”
“I’m not making it weird,” he says quickly, hands lifting instinctively. “I just.”
He cuts himself off because he suddenly realizes he has no idea how to navigate this. Girls usually don’t text him while being miserable and summon him to their bedroom windows like some modern romance movie directed by a bad romcom enthusiast. Nothing is romcom-y about this.
So instead, awkwardly, he holds the backyard vegetation toward you.
“I got you these.”
Flowers. They aren’t roses and lilies, especially not the peonies your boyfriend orders because it looks better in pictures. They’re not anything arranged like the bouquets your boyfriend’s family sends during competitions and birthdays and events where impression matters. They usually screamed ‘I have money’ so I had my manager fix these for you.
Riki brought you wildflowers, which are tiny white, yellow, and purple ones bundled unevenly together like he picked them himself on the side of the road and decided, yeah, these ones are perfect. They’re crooked and asymmetrical and a little pathetic, and it weirdly looks a lot like you.
You take them carefully, looking down at the tiny flowers bundled together with what suspiciously resembles a broccoli rubber band.
“Oh my God,” you laugh quietly. “These are so ugly.”
He looks offended immediately. “Okay, first of all, fuck you.”
You laugh, open and loud. “They’re literally weeds.”
“I mean. Matches us, no?” he argues.
You’re still smiling when you bring them closer to inspect, and he notices your eyes when you admire them because he notices everything when it comes to you now, apparently.
“He made you cry?” he asks quieter this time.
You look up at him, flowers resting against your chest while you slump a little. “Not exactly.”
He raises his brows. “That means yes.”
You sigh, gaze dropping to the petals between your fingers. “He’s just…” You shake your head slowly. “I don’t know. I guess I’m really sick of it.”
Riki stays quiet — not because he doesn’t have thoughts, but because he has too many.
The thing is, he understands that social hierarchy is basically one giant theater production and he’s spent his entire life studying how to survive inside it correctly — he’s admitted to live in it quite comfortably. Which people to talk to, which ones to avoid, what behavior keeps life stable and uncomplicated, who not to sell weed to.
You were supposed to be part of that stable world, the part that he shouldn’t have had any associations with. Instead, you’re now standing barefoot in front of him holding ugly flowers with watery eyes while confiding in him like he’s become something safe. Now he’s giving a girl weeds for flowers, while his own cannabis has become untouched for quite a while now.
You narrow your eyes up at him suddenly, a teasing smile on your lips. “You could’ve used the front door.”
“And say what?” he snorts. “‘Good evening, your daughter texted me so I’m here to comfort her?”
You laugh again and Jesus Christ, he thinks he’d probably climb ten more roofs if it meant hearing that sound a second time.
Which is not good at all.
He looks around your room now, and he finds that is not in the dramatic movie sense where he’s overwhelmed by femininity and candles or whatever bullshit directors think teenage girls do in bedrooms. It’s just your space and that feels undeniably you in a way he’s never gotten access to before — never thought he would, actually. There’s a stack of annotated reviewers on your desk beside skincare products, then a half-folded cheer uniform hangs over your chair. Your bookshelf is organized by color at first glance, but he notices that some books are stuffed sideways and doubled-up like gave up halfway through organizing.
You’re contradiction after contradiction. Which feels fitting considering Riki’s currently inside the bedroom of a girl he once categorized under absolutely not my problem.
This is exactly why social structures exist. To prevent situations like this where a guy who sells weed ends up standing in the bedroom of a girl who looks expensive enough to kill him.
You set the flowers carefully on your vanity like they’re not random plants held together by produce rubber. Riki watches how gentle your hands are, watches the way your dress slips slightly higher on your thigh when you move.
You step closer to him after, eyes peeking through your lashes, and he starts to feel drunk from your perfume. “You really came all the way here because I was sad?” you ask softly.
Riki opens his mouth automatically with something sarcastic prepared because that’s safer, because joking is easier than admitting the truth. But then he looks at you looking at him like he’s become something important frighteningly fast.
Honesty slips out before he can stop it. “Yeah.”
Your eyes soften in a way that completely wrecks him, because nobody’s ever looked at him like this before — like he did something meaningful instead of useful.
You step even closer now until there’s barely space between you. “You’re really bad at being casual,” you murmur.
He huffs a laugh. “You climbed into my lap the first time we kissed.”
“That was different.”
“How?”
“I was high.”
“And what’s your excuse now?”
Your lips twitch and his gaze drops there instinctively.
Big mistake, because now he’s thinking about kissing you again and suddenly being in your bedroom at midnight feels significantly more dangerous than it did when he drove here. Riki clears his throat and looks away first. Usually he’s good at eye contact, good at keeping composure, good at staying levelheaded even when situations become complicated, because he knows emotional regulation keeps things orderly, predictable, and safe.
You are none of those things anymore.
Standing this close to you feels like someone slowly dismantling every sensible thought process he’s ever had and replacing it with bad decisions and pretty girls in wrinkled dresses.
Riki swallows, eyes still not fully on yours. “Do you know what you’re gonna do?”
You sigh, shoulders dropping a little as you look away. “I don’t know.”
Riki nods, though he doesn’t look surprised. “Well,” he says quietly, “you aren’t happy.”
The honesty in his voice catches you off guard, because it isn’t dramatic or possessive or demanding — it’s actually the complete opposite. He says things carefully. Your boyfriend never talks to you carefully.
You study Riki for a second — the slight flush across his cheeks, the hoodie sleeves pushed to his elbows, the fact he literally climbed your house because you sounded sad over text.
Clearly, he’s lost the plot somewhere. He might find it in your room, but why would it be there?
You look at the boy who notices everything about you, who reads you better than anyone ever did. And maybe that’s pathetic, but after a long time of performance and image, you can’t quite find irrationality when something finally sees you so clearly.
You don’t even realize you’re crying again until his expression changes. The tears just spill over quietly, slipping down your cheeks before you can catch them, and for a second, you don’t understand why his eyes drop there with so much concern because you aren’t sad, nor overwhelmingly happy.
His hand lifts and his fingers touch your cheek lightly and carefully. His thumb brushes beneath your eye, catching the tear before it reaches your jaw. Then the other hand comes up too, steadying your face with a gentleness that makes your throat tighten worse than the crying did. You stare up at him while he wipes your face like it’s something important, his hands warm, his touch steady even though his breathing isn’t. He just keeps his palms against your cheeks, thumbs soft under your eyes, focused on you.
Riki’s thumb slows beneath your eye, his gaze moving over your face with something almost pained. “You’re too pretty to cry over him,” he says quietly.
Your hand lifts before you can think better of it, fingers wrapping gently around his wrist to keep him there. His skin is warm beneath your palm, and for a second, his whole body seems to still when you touch him. You look up at him because he’s so tall this close, broad enough to block out half your room, and he’s holding your face like you might bruise if he moves wrong.
“I’m not crying over him,” you say, and your voice comes out quieter, “I think I’m crying because I want someone else.”
His hand stays against your cheek, but his thumb stops moving entirely. He has no immediate answer right now, no dry comment waiting in the back of his throat, no clever way to make the moment smaller than it feels. He just looks at you, like he heard you perfectly and still needs another second for it to reach the rest of him.
He shifts closer, but only slightly, careful enough that you notice the restraint. “Are you sure?”
You let out a tiny, breathless laugh. “Yes.”
Then your gaze drops from his eyes, not because you’re embarrassed exactly, but because looking at him straight on feels like standing too close to something bright. Your eyes settle on his chest instead, on the front of his hoodie rising and falling with a breath he’s clearly trying to control. His hands move from your cheeks, careful and slow, until his palms settle just beneath your jaw while his fingers slip behind your ears, curling gently at the back of your neck.
For a second, you think he’s going to kiss you.
Actually, you know he is. You can feel it in the way his breathing changes, in the way his eyes drop to your mouth and stay there this time, no pretending it was an accident. He’s close enough that you can smell his cologne and whatever terrible decision-making brought him to your window.
Then something in you panics — not because you don’t want him to.
That’s the problem. You want him so much it feels insulting to every sensible part of your life (even though you’ve made many irrational choices that have shamed them anyway). You want him in your room, in your space, in the middle of all the pretty, curated pieces of yourself nobody else gets to see messy. You want him, and it would be so easy to lean up and let that be the answer. But there is still one stupid, technical, irritating thing standing between you and that, so you pull back a little.
He freezes immediately, hands dropping like he thinks he did something wrong. “What?”
“I need to do something.”
His brows pull together. “Right now?”
You turn away before you can lose your nerve, moving toward your bed where your phone is half-buried in the sheets. Your hands are unsteady when you pick it up, which is annoying because you are not the kind of girl who fumbles — you are the kind of girl who answers essay questions with proper structure, corrects formations instinctively, and pretends she’s fine so convincingly that people believe it until it becomes inconvenient not to.
Calling your boyfriend while Riki Nishimura stands in your bedroom after midnight is, admittedly, not your most elegant moment, but there’s a kind of clarity to it too.
He stays behind you, quiet, watching as you scroll to the contact you have ignored for most of the night. His name on your screen looks strange now.
The call rings twice.
Riki moves closer, though not touching you yet, just behind your shoulder, close enough that you can feel the heat of him. It makes focusing much harder, which is extremely inconsiderate for someone who climbed into your room to be supportive.
Your boyfriend answers with your name, voice already irritated. “It’s late. I’m busy.”
You close your eyes for half a second. “I’m just letting you know. We’re done.”
There is a pause. “What?”
You swallow, your grip tightening around the phone. “I’m breaking up with you.”
Behind you, Riki goes very still. Your boyfriend lets out a humorless laugh. “Are you serious right now?”
“Yes.”
“After everything? After tonight, you’re just gonna call me and say that?”
You stare at the wall in front of you. It’s absurd, actually, how little the anger reaches you. Maybe you should be shaking or crying harder or preparing a speech that starts with all the ways he hurt you — instead, you feel strangely calm.
He starts talking again, louder this time, something about your parents, his parents, how you’re overreacting, how you both agreed, how you don’t get to act innocent either. Until Riki’s hand appears beside you, and he takes the phone from your hand.
Your eyes widen. “Riki.”
He looks at the screen, hears your boyfriend still talking, then tosses the phone onto the bed, where it lands face-up against the sheets, the call still running, your boyfriend’s voice now small and furious through the speaker.
“What are you doing?” you whisper.
His eyes stay on yours. “You already broke up with him.”
On the bed, your ex says your name again, sharp and confused, but neither of you are looking at the phone.
Riki lifts one hand, not touching your face yet, just brushing his knuckles lightly near your jaw like he’s giving you one last chance to move away.
That is all he needs before he kisses you. It is not rushed, not messy from panic, just a little harsh from jealousy. But it’s slow enough to make your knees feel unreliable, steady enough that your whole body seems to understand before your brain does. You grab the front of his hoodie and he exhales against your mouth, the sound going straight through you. His hand settles at the side of your neck, thumb brushing under your jaw while his other hand finds your waist, careful but sure.
The phone is still there, your boyfriend is still talking. It should ruin the moment, but it doesn’t. If anything, it makes the whole thing feel worse in the way your heart is pounding too hard, in the way Riki keeps kissing you like he’s trying not to prove a point and failing anyway, in the way you know this is a terrible way to end a relationship and still cannot bring yourself to care.
Riki pulls back just enough to breathe, forehead almost touching yours. “He talks a lot,” he says quietly.
You laugh before you can stop yourself, and he kisses you before you can even finish a thought he physically cannot hear another word about your boyfriend tonight, earning a gasp from your mouth. It’s soft at first, his mouth catching yours that makes you go still for half a second, surprised, and then your hand tightens around his wrist as you kiss him back. He exhales through his nose, quiet and shaky, and his fingers press a little more firmly into your nape, not pulling you in too hard, just holding you.
You make this soft startled sound against his lips and he swears it nearly kills him on impact. When he pulls back just enough to breathe, his forehead bumps lightly against yours.
“I don’t wanna talk about him anymore,” he says quietly.
His voice comes out rougher than before. You stare at him for a second, and your lips twitch.
“Okay,” you whisper.
He kisses you again almost immediately, and this time you kiss him back just as fast, your chests pressing against one another until you can feel the rapid beat of his heart through his hoodie. His hands find your waist, the weight of them warm and steady through the thin fabric of your dress, like he’s grounding you and keeping himself grounded too.
You tilt your head up to meet him properly, rising slightly onto your toes without meaning to, and he bends down into you like the movement pulls something out of him. His fingers press carefully at your sides, thumbs shifting once against your waist. The kiss deepens then, your hand sliding up the front of his hoodie until you’re holding onto him too.
Riki exhales against your mouth, almost shaky, and his grip tightens for one second before he loosens it again, like he’s reminding himself to be careful.
Without so much as a few words, your gaze meets his. But that’s not enough for him, not when he needs to hear that you want this too. The zipper you struggled with earlier starts undoing when his hand finds the back, before he leans in just enough for his voice to drop between you.
"Words, baby," he whispers.
He isn't teasing now. His voice is low, but careful, like he needs to hear you say it before he lets himself want anything more.
You swallow, fingers tightening lightly in his hoodie. "I want you."
Riki watches your face for a second, and when he sees the true genuineness and want in your eyes, he lets himself have it. He dips down to your height, capturing your lips in a kiss again, before fully pulling the zipper down to the small of your back. With barely any effort, the dress slides off your body and pools around your feet on the floor.
Too busy getting drunk on his plump lips, you don’t even notice his hands roaming over your skin, his fingertips memorizing the arch of your spine, before gliding up to the curve of your ribcage. You don’t notice how close he really is until his fingers find the underside part of your breasts. You pull away with a gasp, seeing him smile coyly when you finally realize you’re naked in front of him, and how he’s massaging your mounds in his hands.
He lets his thumbs brush your hardened nipples, watching your face scrunch and melt with fluster. He holds you so well, heat rushing all over your skin with the way he studies your body, eyes carefully taking in every detail about you. He continues stroking your nipples and massaging your breasts when he bends down again, kissing the corner of your lips before trailing over to your jaw. He presses open mouthed kisses on your pulse next, sucking and biting to leave love bites there.
You moan, all breathy and heavy, and his cock twitches in his sweats. For a man that’s been so cautious with you, he can’t help but fight the urge to pound into you recklessly right now.
“On the bed,” he prompts softly, taking a step forward.
You obey with no fight, pathetically stepping backward until you sit back on the soft mattress. You adjust a little to get on your knees, eyes finding his through your lashes again. He’s looking at you with half-open lids, hand already reaching up to the back of your head, fingers tangling with your hair. He likes you like this, on your knees and your face so fucking close to his bulge, he can practically see it.
And because he has been so kind to you, you want to recompense for all of it. Your fingers hook at the hem of his sweatpants, keeping your gaze steady on his face to watch the way he reacts when he realizes what you’re about to do. You drag his pants down, enough for it to slip down his legs.
His cock bulges in his briefs, begging to be set free. You cup it gently and he lets out a low moan, deeper than his usual, and when you look up, he’s just watching you. You lean in, only to lick a stripe from the bottom to top — his grip on your hair tightens, and you feel him pull you closer. Since you both don’t hold any godly kind of willpower, you waste no time lowering the fabric.
Riki’s stupidly long cock springs forward once you remove his briefs, and everything about it just makes sense. It isn’t excessively thick in girth, but it’s length makes you wonder if it can even fit at all. It’s pale at the base and turns pink towards the tip, the slit lathered with pre all over the head, all for you.
You bite your lip, not being able to help the thrilled grin on your face, eyes bright at the sight of it. He clears his throat, caressing the back of your head gently. “You good?”
You snicker, reaching up to wrap your hand around the base. He chokes out a gasp, stilling completely yet his hips buck forward. He watches you handle him so delicately, even the way you start pumping his dick, watching the way pre-cum leaks out the tip. You lean forward, tongue flat against the head, tasting him.
“O-oh, s-shit —” his breathing becomes heavy, arm flexing involuntarily as he keeps rubbing the back of your head.
You giggle, tilting your head a little to press soft pecks all over his length. “Watch me, sweet boy. Okay?”
You’re a fucking tease. That’s all he manages to come up with before his brain completely blanks out when you tilt forward and let your mouth close around the head of his dick. You start to suckle on it, tongue playing with the slit a little. Then you push forward, enough the tip touches the back of your throat and your cheeks hollow around his length.
And he’s still too fucking long.
You start choking a little, tears touching your waterline. You stroke the part you can’t reach, and he can’t help but smirk arrogantly.
Heavy breaths turns into deep groans, trying to keep his sounds to himself but the way you look as your head bobs on his dick, practically choking as you suck on it, and his hand flexing a tight grip on your hair — this has got to be better than any fucking narcotic ever. He bets morphine won’t ever feel this good. “Y-you’re fucking sublime, baby,”
You retract your mouth, going back to suckle on the tip, before taking him all back down your throat. His hips jerk forward, you can tell just how gentle he’s trying to be even when he’s losing all control.
And it’s too good, because twenty years of chastity has started to reach him faster than the way you rub him. He feels his abdomen tighten, and fuck does his balls feel tense. So as any illogical, preposterous, unsound idiot ever, he pulls you away from his cock. He holds you by your hair, slowing you down as you stare up at him, eyes wide and confused, lips wet from your saliva and his fluids.
“What the fuck?” you mutter, catching your breaths.
Riki licks his bottom lip, and you can see every restraint holding him back from breaking you. The tips of his ears are red, and his eyes, once so tender and meticulous, looks down at you like he just can’t wait to fuck you senseless. They’re sharper than they ever have been, and once since this night began, you’re scared.
“Easy,” he drawls, hand withdrawing from you completely. He takes a step back, just enough to admire the way you look, panting and on your knees, breasts exposed and perky. Then with a small smirk, he pinches the edge of his hoodie. “You always this impatient?”
He slides the hoodie over his arms, the cloth revealing flesh that practically glow from your vanity lights. His chest and shoulder width is broad and wide, flat in that boyish way you love, expanding to the chiseled arms. You can feel yourself salivating at the muscles, at his taut abs, delicate grooves that trace down to a sharp v-line. Even his obliques and traps are so defined.
“Get on your back.” he rasps, and you don’t let yourself react before lying down, head against your soft pillows. He kneels in between your legs, eyes trailing over your body. He hooks his fingers over the elastic of your panties, just before he slowly pulls them off you, slow enough to make you embarrassed.
“Riki,” you murmur sheepishly, but he ignores you, keeping his eyes narrowed to the way your cunt glistens, your own fluids leaking out of you. She’s perfect, and his already frustrated cock twitches.
Blonde hair sticks to his forehead, and his eyes are dark when your gaze meets again. He hovers over you, caging you against the bed before he leans in, kissing you again. Your lips part for him, breaths mingling, getting hot and heavy as his hand finds your ass. He squeezes the fat there, fingers digging into your skin. “You’re making it hard to think, pretty girl.”
You manage a giggle, though it quickly turns to soft moans when he kisses your jaw and presses his cock against your cunt.
“Riki, please,” you can see how swollen his cock has gotten.
“I don’t know if I can be gentle,” he breathes, his arms tensing as he keeps himself up. He strokes himself a bit, just before he aligns the tip with your aching hole.
Your brain has gone hazy, not being able to process anything other than the way he kisses your neck when the head of his cock pushes through your folds, and immediately your arms come to his back, nails digging into his muscles. He tenses too, giving a sharp exhale when his length slides past the tight muscle and rubs against your gummy walls.
“Fuck,” he groans, burying his face against your neck while your teeth bite down your bottom lip. “G-god, that’s so good,”
His hips closes against your pelvis, while his tip brushes against your cervix so good he’s pretty sure you’re sucking him in. And you feel stuffed, more than you ever have been, by Riki’s long cock. “Good fucking pussy, shit —”
Your legs are open wide for him, pressing flat against the mattress. And that’s enough for him, just to see you so spread beneath him, cunt squeezing him so tight; enough for him to pull back and watch the way your fluids wrap slick around his cock. Your hips wiggle for him, and that’s all he takes before slamming his hips back into you.
Riki’s jaw hangs open, a low moan gushing out him, strained and heavy into your ears.
“R-Riki — f-f-fuck —”
The sounds of squelching pussy and skin slapping echoes throughout your entire room, walls so tight around his cock as you gasp. The pace is set already, quick and fucking drilling into you even though you’ve known him for his care and caution — yet he pounds into you like he doesn’t give a fuck about anything but his pleasure.
“S-s-so good — ugh, Riki — fuck,” you scratch his back muscles, tensing underneath your nails. His pelvis and abs are tight, slamming himself so hard against your cunt like he can’t keep himself apart from you.
He continues groaning, his eyebrows furrowed, eyes half-lidded watching you, completely fucked out while he admires the way your tits bounce every time he rocks his dick deep into your cunt. His lips part to moan your name, and you love how he almost whimpers when you squeeze around him.
Then he stills, though only fast enough before he slides an arm beneath your waist and gathers you closer, like he’s scooping you into him without fully lifting you.
“W-what are you —”
“On your stomach.”
You can only blink and nod, before turning around, suddenly feeling empty when his dick slips from inside you. You settle on your hands and knees, then lie on your chest, face pressed to the soft pillow. “Fuck, my good girl.”
You can’t see him anymore, and you’re not sure with how you feel about it — not until you feel his warm body press against your back, his chest hovering slightly over you. He presses a hand on the back of your thigh, gently adjusting your knee higher, the position immediately spreading your folds more than you would have thought.
“Lift your hips for me, baby,” he breathes, voice low and strained.
You obey, pussy clenching around nothing when he whispers quiet praises as your ass perks up and your folds glisten for him again, slick oozing out from you. You get on your hands a little, just enough to lift yourself and look over your shoulder. Without much of a warning, he pushes his cock back deep inside you again, walls welcoming him with a dirty squelch, your breath catches, then escapes in a quiet gasp.
“There, just like that —” Riki moans, his v-line pressed tight against your ass.
Then he continues, retracting his hips only to slap back inside you. The new positions doing fucking wonders to you, stretching you a whole lot more, his dick fucking you so raw that you can’t help the screams you let out. He presses his hands against your waist, fingers ingrained to lift your ass up and pound into you right after, grip so tight it’s already bruising.
You fuck yourself against him too, slapping back against his hips, cock choking in your tight walls. His eyes are almost rolling back, if not for how obsessed he is watching your ass shake and tits bounce every sloppy stroke, his hand sliding under you to grope your mound. He fondles with it, pinching your nipple and loving the weight of it against his palm.
Sweat’s getting hot and the air’s smells too much of sex, he can feel it when his balls clench and how desperate he’s starting to get.
You look over your shoulder and he meets you halfway, leaning over to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. It’s full of saliva and it’s warm, messy in a way that tells how close you both are.
Then with so little strength (can’t compare to Riki Nishimura, really), your weight falls back to the pillow, face and chest pressed against the softness while your ass stays up. If not for his large hands keeping you up and still, you would’ve fallen over completely.
Your abdomen clenches and pressure builds in there, and he continues rutting into you while you become a puddle of sweat and moans. “R-right there — fuck, Riki — !”
“I-I’m gonna fucking cum, s-shit – I’ll blow a fucking load in you —” his hips drive into your pussy with a new kind of intensity, faster and deeper somehow, his tip hitting your cervix that has you throbbing around him.
“Cum all over me, baby, please —” he whines, face pressed against your shoulder.
You feel hot spurts of him fill you the same time your cunt clenches around him one final time, legs twitching while his hips come to a stutter. Cum settles in your hole, warm and full and sticky and practically seeping out of you. He collapses on top of you, unconsciously maybe, his heavier weight pressing over your body.
Your vision goes white for a bit, then it comes back, only for you to see hair all over your face, stuck with sweat and saliva. He’s still on top of you, but you can feel him carry himself a little, making sure not to crush you right after cumming in you.
Quiet beats stretch out the moment, and you don’t even notice his arm tucking underneath you to massage your tit, a tired laugh leaving your mouth when you do. When you both muster enough strength, he straightens just enough to lift himself off of you, while you manage to get on your hands. By the time you look over your shoulder, he’s already leaning in, his mouth finding yours again, a hand still fondling with your breast.
“Riki,” a small sheepish smile curves on your lips, all while he presses soft pecks against your mouth and jaw.
“Hm?” he hums, tired and spent, clearly having nothing else to do but to kiss you. His breaths are still shallow, eyelids heavy before shutting completely.
You giggle, putting your hand over his on your breast. “Get off me,” you say with a playful grin. “You’re so heavy!”
WIth a quiet groan, he listens. He slides out of you, unplugging you to let your fluids out. Then he lies down, and he hasn’t realized how strained his muscles are until he sinks into the softness of your bed. He relaxes inevitably, while you stay up just to admire him for a bit.
Riki Nishimura is never going to be insecure about his looks, but the way you stare at him with dilated pupils that match his, especially post-sex, he can’t help but grow a bit bashful.
He huffs out a laugh, one hand reaching out to squeeze your waist because you feel so far. "So do you have a no-cuddle policy, or," he murmurs.
You laugh before you can stop yourself because he's so stupidly funny for someone trying to sound serious. Instead of answering, you shake your head and lean more of your weight against one hand, the other resting against his chest as your fingers trace lazy, thoughtless shapes.
He watches you do it for a second, his expression going quiet in that way that makes your stomach turn. Then you glance up at him. "Can you roll one for me?"
He sighs so heavily it almost sounds personal. Before you can even react, his arm hooks around your waist and pulls you down against his chest, firm and immediate, like the idea alone offended him. Your hand lands against his abs to catch yourself, your cheek nearly brushing his shoulder as he keeps you there.
“Throw that shit away,” he says, voice low near your ear. “I swear to God.”
You blink, caught against him. “What?” His arm stays around you, warm and unmoving. “Why?”
Riki looks at you with half-lidded eyes, sleepy and a little strained, like even answering takes effort. “Because,” he murmurs, his grip softening at your waist, “after tonight, I think I found something better.”
Your jaw actually falls open. For one second, all you can do is stare at him, because there’s no way Riki Nishimura just said that to you while looking half-asleep and impossibly calm, like he didn’t just say something that made your entire stomach turn over and tighten all over again.
Then you smack his chest lightly. “Riki.”
He chuckles, low and tired, the sound vibrating against your palm. His arm stays around your waist, keeping you close even when you try to lean back enough to glare at him properly.
“What?” he murmurs, eyes barely opening more. “Use my dick instead, I won’t get mad.”
You smack his chest harder, earning a yelp from him. “Riki!”
He laughs under his breath, but before you can pull your hand back, his fingers wrap around your wrist. His eyes open a little more as he looks at you, still tired, still amused, and then he tugs you.
You land over him, knees sinking into the mattress on either side of his hips as his arm settles around your waist to steady you. For a second, neither of you moves. Your hand stays pressed to his chest, his heartbeat is faster than he's pretending. "Careful," he murmurs, like he wasn't the one who pulled you.
"You're so annoying," you whisper again, but it comes out softer this time, a quiet breath as you lean down to him. You're close enough now that your noses brush, close enough to feel his smile fade against your mouth.
Riki's gaze drops to your lips, then back to your eyes. Your fingers stay flat against the broad hardness of his chest while his hand stays warm at your waist, slowly smoothing over the curve of your ass.
“Ride me?” he whispers against your lips.
You sigh, rolling your eyes while your mouth curves to a grin, back straightening. You act like you think about it, only for your exposed cunt to start grinding against his cock — which, obviously, because he is a very simple man, erects again.
A simple man such as he, all he knows is that he is yours.
黑穗病 ─── older! Sugar daddy! niki x student! sugar baby! reader. Contains NSFW. Reader is 18. Niki is around 25. Reader is spoiled.
A/N idk how to do this or make proper storylines so these are just drabbles hope yall still enjoy them doee cuz i luv niki. Forgive me for the wordcount cuz i yap tew much and add details. ♡
TW idk how to do tws just your usual stuff, nothing weird. My fics are self-indulgent and that's the only thing yall have to worry abt.
Too fast.
The city is asleep. The penthouse isn't.
You know because you can hear your own heartbeat thrumming in your ears, loud and reckless, as Niki's mouth finds that spot just below your jaw. The spot he's not supposed to know about because you never give him too much time.
But he found it anyway. Of course he did.
You're sprawled across his bed-the one with the grey silk sheets you made him buy, the ones that feel like water against your bare legs. The late-night light filters through the floor-to-ceiling windows, casting everything in shades of blue and silver. It catches the curve of your collarbone. The shine of your freshly moisturized skin. The way your chest rises and falls beneath the tight black lace dress you put on an hour ago.
The dress is short. Dangerously short. The kind of short that makes his jaw tighten every time he looks at you. The neckline plunges low-too low, probably-the lace struggling to contain the soft, full swell of your tits. Every breath you take pushes them closer to spilling over. You know he's noticed. You've caught him looking at least fourteen times since you walked out of his bathroom.
Right now, he's not just looking.
His body is pressed against yours, one knee between your thighs, his weight braced on his forearms so he doesn't crush you. Considerate, even when he's hungry. His lips trail from your jaw to your throat, open-mouthed and slow, like he's tasting something expensive.
You tilt your head back. Let him.
"Mnph," you breathe.
The sound is soft. Accidental. You didn't mean to let it slip.
His teeth graze your pulse point in response. A warning. A promise.
Your fingers find the fabric of his shirt-black, thin, unbuttoned at the collar-and fist it. Hard, pulling him closer.
"Nngh" You breathe. his tongue flicks against your skin and he groans against your neck. Low. Vibrating. You feel it in your chest, your stomach, lower.
His hand slides up your thigh. Slow. Deliberate. The lace of your dress bunches beneath his palm as he pushes it higher, inch by inch, until his thumb brushes the edge of your underwear.
Your hips jerk.
"Mmm," you whine, half protest, half plea.
He pauses. Just for a second. His lips hover over your throat.
"Okay?" he murmurs.
You don't answer with words. You tug at his shirt instead, pulling him up, and when his face is above yours-those dark eyes, that sharp jaw, that annoyingly perfect mouth- you kiss him.
His hand leaves your thigh and cups your face instead, tilting your head, deepening the angle. His tongue sweeps against your lower lip. You let him in. Just barely. Just enough to taste the mint on his breath, the coffee he had hours ago, the something that's just him.
"Mnph," you sigh into his mouth.
"mm..." he hums, swallowing the sound.
Your hands move from his shirt to his shoulders to his hair. Your nails scrape against his scalp. He shudders-barely, but you feel it-and something hot curls in your belly.
His other hand finds your waist. Your tiny waist. His fingers span almost the whole thing as he grips you, pulls you closer, grinds his hips against yours.
You squirm. "Mmmgh."
Five minutes. That's what you told yourself. Five minutes of letting him have this. Five minutes of soft sounds and wandering hands and the kind of kissing that makes your toes curl.
Five minutes. Time's up. Push him away. Say the word. Do it now before you forget how.
But his mouth is on your neck again. And his hand is sliding up your ribcage. And his thumb is brushing the underside of your breast through the lace, not quite touching where you want him to, and-
"mnhh."
Now. Do it now. You press your palms against his chest.
He doesn't stop immediately. His lips stay on your neck for one more second. Two. Like he's hoping you'll change your mind.
"Niki." Your voice is breathy. Ruined. Hardly sounds like you. "Enough."
He pulls back.
His eyes are dark. Lidded. His lips are slightly swollen from kissing you. His hair is a mess from your fingers. And face still blank because he'd rather die than let you see how much you affect him.
Your chest is heaving beneath the black lace. Your thighs are pressed together, trying to ease the ache between them. You're wet-so wet it's almost embarrassing-and he hasn't even touched you there yet.
You want more. God, you want more.
But you pout instead.
"No sex," you say, and your voice wobbles just slightly at the end. "Not yet."
He stares at you. His jaw works.
"I didn't ask for sex," he says quietly.
"You were thinking about it."
"I'm always thinking about it." Blunt. Honest. So annoyingly him. "That doesn't mean I was going to do anything."
Your hands are still fisted in his shirt. You can feel his heartbeat under your knuckles. Steady. Strong. Faster than usual.
"You were about to," you insist, pouting harder. "I could feel it."
He doesn't deny it. Just looks at you with those dark eyes, waiting.
You swallow. Your throat is dry.
"You haven't earned it yet," you say.
His eyebrow twitches. "Earned it?"
"Yeah." You lift your chin. Try to look haughty even though your whole body is trembling and your nipples are hard beneath the lace and you're pretty sure he can see your soaked panties from his angle, sitting on his heels. "Sex with me? That's not something you just get. You have to earn it. Especially since-"
You stop.
"Since what?"
Your cheeks flush. Hot and pink against your glowy, perfect skin. You hate how easily he makes you blush.
"Since it would be my first time," you mumble, looking away.
Silence.
Then: "Y/n. Look at me."
You don't want to. But your body betrays you. Your eyes find his.
His expression has changed. The hunger is still there-always there-but something else has joined it. Something softer. Something that makes your chest ache.
"Your first time," he repeats.
"Don't make it weird."
"I'm not making it weird. You just-" He exhales slowly. His thumb traces your cheekbone. "You didn't tell me."
"Why would I? It's not a big deal."
"It's a big deal."
"It's not. I'm eighteen. Lots of people my age are still-you know."
"Virgins?"
"Don't say the word. It's gross."
He almost smiles. Almost. "What word do you want me to use?"
"None. We're not talking about this." You shove at his chest again. He doesn't move. "The point is, you haven't earned it. So no sex. Not tonight. Maybe not for a long time. Maybe never if you keep being annoying."
"I'm being annoying?"
"Yes. Extremely. You're looking at me weird."
"I'm looking at you the same way I always look at you."
"Exactly. Weird."
He studies your face. Your pout. Your flushed cheeks. Your eyes, still dark and lidded from kissing him, still hazy with want you refuse to name.
"Okay," he says finally.
"Okay what?"
"Okay, I'll earn it."
You blink. "What?"
"You heard me." He pushes himself up, putting space between your bodies. The loss of his warmth makes you shiver. "You want me to earn the right to have sex with you. Fine. Tell me how."
You stare at him.
He's serious. Of course he's serious. He's always serious when it matters, even when he's pretending not to be.
"I don't know," you say. "I haven't thought about it."
"Then think about it."
"Right now?"
"You're the one who brought it up."
You huff. Cross your arms over your chest-which pushes your tits up even more, and you see his gaze flick down for half a second before returning to your face. "I didn't bring it up. I just said you haven't earned it."
"Same thing."
"It's NOT."
"Y/n."
"What."
He leans back against the headboard. Arms crossed. Watching you with that infuriating calm.
"Tell me what I have to do," he says. "Dates? Gifts? Do I need to fight someone? Learn a language? What's the requirement for sleeping with y/n?"
You chew your bottom lip. The lace of your dress scratches against your thighs. You're still wet. Still aching. Still so painfully aware of every inch of your body and every inch of his.
"I don't know," you admit quietly. "I've never done this before." You stop. Realize you're trapped. Scowl at him. "You're manipulative."
"I'm patient."
"You're annoying."
"You've said that."
"Because it's true."
He brings your hand to his mouth. Presses a kiss to your knuckles. Soft. Lingering. Your breath catches.
"I can wait," he says against your skin. "However long you need. However much I have to earn it. I can wait."
Your eyes sting. Stupid. Stupid hormones. You blink rapidly.
"You better," you say, voice thick. "Because if you sleep with someone else while you're waiting, I'll kill you."
"I'm not going to sleep with anyone else."
"How do I know that?"
"Because I'm looking at you." His eyes hold yours. Dark. Steady. "I only see you."
"Stop being romantic," you whisper. "It's weird."
"You told me to earn it. This is me earning it."
(idk how to end this lolz heh sorry guys...*scratches neck sheepishly* ONTO THE NEXT ONE!)
2. A secret
The final bell hasn't even stopped ringing.
You're already halfway down the front steps of, your arm linked through your friend's, your other hand clutching your phone like a lifeline. Your navy blue skirt swishes around your thighs-short.. Your white blouse is crisp and tight, hugging the curve of your chest just right. The top two buttons are undone. Your hair is perfect. Your skin is glowy. Your lip gloss is fresh. You feel good.
"So," Mina says, bumping her shoulder against yours, "are you gonna tell me who's been buying you all that Chrome Hearts stuff, or are you gonna keep being mysterious?"
"I'm not being mysterious. I'm being discreet."
"Same thing."
"Different things." You flip your hair over your shoulder. "Anyway, it's not important."
"Mhm." Mina grins. "Sure. That's why you showed up last week with $200 chocolates for me last week..."
You're about to retort- something dismissive- when a low engine rumble cuts through the chatter of students flooding the courtyard.
You know that sound. You know that car.
No. Please god not today.
Your eyes blink over toward the front gate.
A matte black McLaren. (I know nothing abt cars *ohio scared*) Tinted windows so dark you can't see inside. The engine purring insanely loud, drawing every single pair of eyes in a fifty-meter radius.
Students stop walking. Phones come out. Whispers start. And the driver's door opens.
Long legs. Black trousers. black button-down, sleeves rolled to the elbows, exposing veined forearms and that one silver ring he never takes off. Dark hair falling over his forehead. Jaw sharp enough to cut glass.
Your heart drops straight through the concrete.
"Who is THAT?" Mina breathes.
"No one," you say too quickly. "I don't know him."
"He's looking right at us."
"He's not." You grab Mina's arm and start dragging her toward the side gate. "Come on. Let's go. I want boba."
"He's walking toward us, y/n."
"He's not."
"He literally is."
You risk a glance.
He is.
Niki is walking toward you with that infuriating nonchalant stride—slow, unhurried, like he has all the time in the world and he knows you're not going anywhere. His hands are in his pockets. His lips are curved into the tiniest smirk.
The crowd of students parts for him like the Red Sea.
Because of course it does.
"Y/N!" Mina hisses. "Why is a man in a McLaren walking toward us?"
"I don't KNOW him."
"Then why is he saying your name?"
"Y/n," Niki calls again. Louder this time. His voice carries across the courtyard like velvet over gravel. "You forgot your jacket."
He's holding something. A black leather jacket. Your black leather jacket. The one you left in his car this morning because you were running late and he was kissing your neck and you couldn't think straight.
You want to die.
You want the concrete to open up and swallow you whole.
Every single student in a ten-meter radius is now staring at you. Including Mina, whose mouth has formed a perfect O.
"I don't know him," you repeat, tugging harder on Mina's arm. "He's crazy. Let's go."
"Y/n." Niki's voice is closer now. Calm. Amused. "Don't make me chase you in front of your friends."
Your face burns. You can feel the heat crawling up your neck, flooding your cheeks, turning your ears pink. Your perfect composure. Your untouchable image. Gone. Wrecked. Ruined by a man who won't take a hint.
You stop walking. Turn around.
Past a sea of whispering students, you see him standing there. Sunglasses pushed up into his hair now. Dark eyes fixed on you. That stupid, sexy smirk still playing on his lips.
He's enjoying this.
The bastard is enjoying this.
"Hi," you say, and your voice comes out two octaves too high. "Um. Hi. Hello."
"Hi, baby." He holds out the jacket. "You left this."
Baby.
He said baby. In front of everyone.
You grab the jacket out of his hand so fast it's almost violent. "Thanks. Bye. Don't come here again."
"Who's your friend?" Niki asks, completely ignoring you. His gaze shifts to Mina. Polite. Charismatic. The full Nishimura Riki charm offensive.
"I'm Mina," she says dreamily. "I'm her best friend. She's never mentioned you."
"That's because I'm-"
"A DISTANT RELATIVE," you shout.
Silence.
You feel the sweat drop forming on your temple. Your smile is so wide it hurts. Your eyes are darting left and right, catching snippets of whispered conversations.
Is that her boyfriend?
He looks way older.
That car costs like half a million dollars.
"He's my… cousin," you babble. "Second cousin. Once removed. From- from Japan. He's visiting. Very distant. Very, very distant. We barely know each other."
Niki raises an eyebrow.
You glare daggers at him. Play along or I will end you.
"Right," Niki says slowly. "Cousin."
"Second cousin," you correct loudly.
"Second cousin," he repeats. "Once removed."
"From Japan," you add.
"From Japan," he agrees. His smirk is back. Bigger this time. "I'm here to pick up my… cousin… from school. Because her car is in the shop."
"My car is not-"
"It is now."
You stare at him.
He stares back, utterly unbothered.
Mina looks between the two of you, clearly not buying a single word. But she's a good friend, and she loves you, so she just nods slowly and says, "Cool. Distant relative. Very distant. Got it."
"Thank you," you say through gritted teeth.
You turn back to Niki. Lower your voice to a furious whisper. "What are you doing here? You can't just show up at my school. People are going to talk."
"I don't care if people talk."
"I CARE."
"Why?" He tilts his head. Innocent. Fake. "I'm just your distant relative."
You're about to unleash a string of insults that would make a sailor blush when you notice the crowd. Still watching. Still whispering. Still filming on their phones.
Your beautiful, perfect reputation. Down the drain.
You grab Niki's arm - his very solid, very warm arm - and drag him toward the car. Mina follows, giggling under her breath.
"You're getting in the car with your distant relative?" Mina calls out.
"He's giving me a ride," you snap. "Because he's family. That's what family does."
"I thought you didn't know him."
"I don't. I mean-I do. Barely. He's just-look, Mina, I'll explain later, okay? Just tell everyone he's my weird uncle or something."
"He looks young for an uncle."
"WEIRD YOUNG UNCLE."
Niki opens the passenger door for you. Because of course he does.
You climb in before anyone can get another photo. The leather seat is warm. The car smells like him-sandalwood and clean laundry and something addictive.
Niki closes the door, walks around the front, and slides into the driver's seat. The engine rumbles to life.
He doesn't drive.
He just sits there. Looking at you.
"What?" you say.
"Nothing."
"Then why are you staring?"
"Just enjoying the view." His eyes drop to your skirt. Your blouse. The undone buttons. "You look cute in your uniform."
"We're in a parking lot. Drive."
"Say please."
"I'll bite you."
"Promises, promises."
He pulls out of the school gates. The crowd of students fades behind you. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"I can't believe you did that," you mutter, sinking into the seat. "I'm going to get so many questions tomorrow."
"Then tell them the truth."
"The truth?" You turn to stare at him. "That I go around using old stupid men for their money. That-"
"That you're mine," he interrupts quietly.
The word hangs in the air.
Mine.
You look away. Your cheeks are burning. Your stupid, traitorous heart is doing something stupid and traitorous in your chest.
"I'm not yours," you whisper.
"Okay."
"I belong to no one."
"Okay."
"And I'm still mad at you for showing up unannounced."
"I know."
"AND-" You run out of steam. Deflate. "And you're supposed to say sorry."
"For what?"
"For embarrassing me."
"I didn't embarrass you. I brought you your jacket."
"You called me baby in front of my entire school."
"You are my baby."
"STOP SAYING THINGS."
He laughs. Quiet. Low. His hand leaves the steering wheel and finds your thigh, just above your knee. His thumb traces a slow circle against the bare skin below your skirt.
You don't push him away.
"Your friend seemed nice," he says.
"Mina's the best."
"Tell her the truth."
"I told you, I can't."
"Why not?"
You chew your bottom lip. Stare out the window at the city rushing past.
"Because they'll think I'm using you," you say finally. "Which I am. But it's not-it's not just that. You know it's not just that...it's embarrassing"
His hand stills on your thigh.
"I know," he says.
"Then why do you keep pushing?"
"Because I don't want to be your secret forever."
You turn to look at him. Really look at him. The sharp line of his jaw. The dark fall of his hair. The way his eyes are focused on the road, but his thumb is still moving against your skin, slow and gentle.
"You're not my secret," you say softly. "You're just… complicated."
"I'm not complicated. I'm a guy who likes a girl. The girl makes it complicated."
"Hey." You slap his arm. "I'm not complicated. I'm simple. I want money and clothes and attention and-"
"And me."
"And fine. Yes. And you." You huff. "Happy?"
"Ecstatic."
You're quiet for a moment. The city lights are starting to flicker on, painting the inside of the car in gold and shadow.
"Niki?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't pick me up from school again."
"No promises."
"NIKI."
"I said no promises."
You groan and drop your head against the headrest. "You're impossible."
"You love it."
"I hate it."
"Same thing."
You turn your face toward the window so he can't see you smile. But he sees. He always sees.
His hand squeezes your thigh once, then returns to the steering wheel.
"Let's get dinner," he says. "Then shopping. Then home."
"I want Italian."
"Okay."
"And gelato."
"Okay."
"And I want to try on your new Chrome Hearts chain."
"You always want to try on my things."
"Because they look better on me."
He glances at you. Just for a second. But that second is enough.
"Yeah," he says quietly. "They do." (i wanted to make some fluff even tho i hate it..this instance is an exception...ok moving on time for smut)
3. First and last time.
You're lying on your back on the edge of the bed. The gray silk sheets are cool against your bare legs. Your tiny dress-black lace, lace straps, barely covering anything-is rucked up around your hips, pink lace panties wide on display. Your hair is spread across the pillow like a dark halo. Your skin is glowing, flawless, catching the light in all the right places.
His body is pressed against yours.
Niki's lips are on your neck. His teeth graze your pulse point. His hips are grinding against yours, slow and deliberate, the thick ridge of his cock pressing against your core through the thin fabric of your panties.
Your legs are wrapped around his waist. Your ankles lock behind his back, pulling him closer.
"Mmph," you breathe.
Ten minutes.
You told yourself ten minutes. That's the deal. That's how this works. You let him kiss you, let him touch you, let him grind against you for exactly ten minutes. Then you push him off. Always. Nothing more. Nothing which you weren't ready for yet.
Last time, it was five.
You'd been so proud of yourself. Five whole minutes of self-control. Five minutes of soft moans and wandering hands before you pressed your palm against his chest and said enough.
This time, you'd given him ten. You're not sure what came over you.
Maybe it's the way he looked at you when he came home-dark eyes, hungry mouth, that infuriating smirk. Maybe it's the way your body aches for him, even when your brain says no.
Whatever it is, you're losing.
His mouth finds yours. Your lips part. His tongue sweeps inside. You taste mint and coffee and something that's just him.
"Mnngh," you hum against his lips.
His hand slides up your thigh. His fingers brush against the damp spot on your panties. You gasp.
"Already wet," he murmurs against your mouth. "And we're only at minute six."
"S-Shut up."
"You're so sensitive, baby." His thumb presses against your clit through the wet fabric. Your hips buck. A broken sound escapes your throat. "Ah-"
"Shh." He kisses your jaw. "We still have four minutes."
You're not going to last four minutes.
You know it. He knows it. Your body is trembling, your nipples hard beneath the lace of your dress, your core aching and empty and desperate and he's RIGHT there.
"Please," you whisper.
"Please what?"
"Please-"
"What do you want, y/n?"
You can't say it. You can't give him that power.
He grinds against you again. Harder this time. His cock slides against your entrance through the fabric, and you feel every inch of him, thick and hot and so fucking big.
"Ngh-ki-"
"Tell me."
"Please-please-"
"Tell me what you want." Your eyes are lidded, your lips parted, your breathing ragged.
"I want you," you breathe. "I want-I want you inside me."
His eyes darken. "That's my girl."
His lips crash against yours. His hands find your dress. He rips it-the thin fabric tearing down the middle like it's made of paper.
You gasp. "That was expensive-"
"Don't care."
His mouth finds your chest. His lips close around one of your nipples through the lace of your bra. You arch into him, a desperate sound falling from your lips.
"Ah—ki… mngh…"
He reaches behind and unclasps it easily. His hand slides down. He hooks his fingers into the waistband of your panties. Pulls them down your legs. Tosses them somewhere in the dark.
"You're so pretty," he murmurs against your skin. "So fucking pretty."
"I know," you breathe, gulping. He laughs. Quiet. Warm.
And then his hand is between your legs, his fingers sliding through your folds, finding you slick and ready and aching.
"Look at you," he murmurs. "So wet for me."
"Shut up."
"So needy."
"Niki-"
"Mm?"
"Just-please-"
"Please what?" You whimper. A frustrated, desperate sound.
"Please fuck me."
His eyes go dark. "Say it again."
"Fuck me. Please. I need-I need you inside me. Please, Niki. Please."
He kisses you. Hard. Deep.
And then he's unzipping his pants, pushing them down just enough, and you feel him—the thick head of his cock pressing against your entrance.
You tense.
"Relax," he murmurs against your lips.
"You're so-"
"Shh."
He pushes in. Just the tip. Just enough to stretch you. And it hurts.
"Ngh-" Your nails dig into his shoulders. "Niki-it's too-"
"Breathe."
"Can't-"
"Yes you can. Breathe, baby."
You inhale. Shaky. Broken.
He pushes in deeper. Your walls stretch around him, too tight, too much. Your eyes water.
"It won't fit," you whimper. "It's too big. Niki, it's too big-"
"Shh. It'll fit."
"No-it won't-"
He stills. Waits. His forehead presses against yours.
"Trust me," he whispers.
You trust him.
You always trust him.
He pushes in more. Slow. Careful. Your body resists, then yields, then accepts. Inch by inch. You feel every vein, every ridge, every inch of him filling you completely.
"Ngh-ah-Ki-"
"There you go." His voice is strained. "There you go, baby. Taking me so well."
"I c-can't-mmph!"
"Yes you can."
He's fully inside you now. Your legs are wrapped around his waist. Your walls are fluttering around him, trying to adjust. It's too much. It's not enough.
It hurts. And then it doesn't.
"ki..." Your voice is soft, breathless. "Move."
He does. Slow at first. Pulling out inch by inch, then pushing back in. Your back arches off the bed.
"nh-mngh-"
"More?" His voice is strained. "Want more, baby?"
"Yes-please-"
He speeds up. His hips snap against yours. The sound of skin meeting skin fills the room. Your moans get louder, more desperate, your nails raking down his back. "Ah-ki-ngh...ah-!"
"Look at me."
You do. Your lidded eyes meet his.
"So pretty," he breathes. "So pretty when you fall apart for me."
"I'm not-I'm not falling apart-"
"Yes you are."
He thrusts deeper. Harder. The head of his cock hits that spot inside you that makes you see stars.
"NIKI!" Your voice cracks.
"There she is."
His lips find your neck. He bites down on your pulse point. Your whole body convulses around him.
"Ah-mngh-please-"
"Please what?"
"I need-"
"Need what, baby?"
"I need-"
"Tell me."
"I need-" You're so close. So close. "I need to-I need to-"
"Come for me."
"Niki-"
"Come for me, y/n."
Your release crashes over you. Your back arches off the bed. Your fingers claw at his back.
He follows you. His hips stutter. His body tenses. He buries himself deep and spills inside you, his face pressed against your neck, his breath hot on your skin.
"Fuck," he breathes.
You're both shaking. Both panting. Both completely undone.
He doesn't pull out. He stays inside you. His weight presses you into the mattress. His lips press lazy kisses along your jaw. (i dont know how to end this ohio cry)
your gaze drifted to the side, riki was on his phone, one hand holding the device and the other behind his head. his shirt hem rode up from the left side. the outline of the peeking red tattoo visible slightly, right above the waistband of his sweatpants.
his moles prominent from the sideview as the warm bedroom light hit his face in the right places. you felt a warm blooming heat flourish in your chest as it spread blazing through your body.
your gaze dropped to the peeking sliver of skin below his shirt as you extended your left arm. your fingers gripped his wrist. niki quickly switched the phone to his other arm so he could interlink your fingers.
his fingertips jolting a spark in your body as they aligned with yours. he was still on his phone, clueless. all while you were unraveling in a heat you bought upon yourself.
your fingers caressed his as the desire grew stronger. sweat dripped down your neck and your cheeks reddened. a look at your boyfriend was enough to ignite a fire in you.
you quickly shifted to your side. your chest pressed against his shoulder as you felt another heatwave attack you. you settled your free hand over the interlocked ones, gripping his arm with both your hands.
"you're touchy today." niki began, his voice carrying a little rasp to it.
"compensating for all the times i wasn't." he blinked once, at his phone, amused, before finally turning to look at you. "why're you so red?"
you held his interlocked palm tight in yours before flipping it so your palm was above, you held the grip, using it to sit upright. you gave him a strong stare, your wandering eyes in search of the red tattoo again. "you know," niki began, his phone now tucked away. "you could just look at it."
"I will." without giving it much thought, you unlinked your fingers, swinging your leg over his torso simultaneously until you settled over him. the sudden heavy weight of your body over his crotch making riki jolt his hips upwards by reflex, confused. "what're you doing?"
"looking." you murmur absent mindedly. fingers sneaking under the shirt hem, feeling his warm skin against yours before pushing the fabric upwards to uncover the red ink. your gaze is fixated at the tattoo, almost entranced and riki's biting down a smile.
your fingertips brush his hipbone, just where it is, careful and light. he inhales quietly at the contact. you look up immediately, catching the reaction.
you bent down, closer to the intoxicating red printed into his skin. niki positions his arms at the back of his head. clearly giddy, amused. "you like?"
your lips gravitate to mirror the kiss mark as you murmur into his exposed skin, "so much."
and then you finally press your warm lips against his hip, right above the red lips. you let the kiss linger before pulling your head back to look at it again. your clear gloss coating the red lip perfectly.
shaky exhales escalates off his lips and you already feel the goosebumps rising up his skin under your fingertips.
"mine." you whisper quietly against his skin but he catches it.
a smile decorates niki's lips. half fond, half turned on.
he could have his entire body decorated in ink if it let him feel your lips against him like this again, and again, maybe even forever.
pairing :: nishimura riki x reader
warnings :: maybe a bit too dialogue heavy, petnames, sick!riki, established relationship, ni-ki and reader live together, clingy!riki, hurt/comfort, light angst, fluff, very domestic, slice of life(?), implied size diff
a/n :: first fic that’s not a smau who cheered… however this is not proofread,, sidenote i live for sick clingy riki👀
w/c :: 2.8k
the first thing you notice when you wake up is that the apartment is unusually quiet.
normally, by the time you’d made coffee, ni-ki would’ve already wandered into the kitchen complaining about how the smell was way too strong this early. at the very least, you’d have felt his arms tight around your waist and his lips snug against your neck as you busied yourself and tried your very hardest to feign annoyance.
but today, he was still asleep, which really should’ve been your first clue.
the second came as soon as you stepped into your bedroom and found him buried beneath the duvet, blonde hair sticking up in every direction, cheeks flushed a little pink against the pillow. the room was still dim, the curtains only half-open, letting strips of pale morning light fall across the rumpled blankets.
you frowned.
“riki?” you whispered, met with only a soft hum, seeped in fatigue.
“baby.”
one eye cracked open, the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead now visible as he stirred awake.
“…morning.”
his voice was rough, even more so than usual. you crossed the room quickly and rested the back of your hand against his forehead. he immediately leaned into the touch before he seemed to realize what he’d done.
“…’m fine.” he groaned, after having seen the worry etched across your brow.
you giggled quietly under your breath, his persistent observance ever present.
you’d long since learned that taking care of riki was a rare privilege. he was endlessly attentive when it came to you, almost instinctively so. he’d notice the way your shoulders tensed after a difficult day before you even realised it yourself, quietly plucking your mug from your hands and bundling you up into his chest.
if your phone was low on battery (as it always was), he’d have already plugged it in beside the sofa. if you mentioned craving something once in passing, it’d somehow appear in the kitchen a few days later, and he’d act none the wiser, save for the proud grin tugging at his face.
loving you came naturally to him, woven into all the little things he did without expecting so much as a thank you.
but when the roles were reversed, he suddenly became impossible.
every headache was “just a headache.” every cough was “nothing.” every scrape would earn an absent-minded “i’m fine,” before he was already asking if you’d remembered to eat lunch or whether you’d packed a jacket. somewhere along the way, he’d convinced himself that caring for you was second nature, but being cared for in return was an inconvenience.
it was almost amusing, really.
the same boy who could read the slightest crease between your brows from across the room somehow believed he could hide a fever while radiating heat. and even now, feeling him instinctively lean into your touch before catching himself, only to immediately reassure you instead of the other way around, told you everything you needed to know.
“you’re literally burning up.”
“’m always warm baby, you know that.” he whispered, flashing you another one of his lazy smiles as he pulled your hand down from his forehead, planting a small kiss on your wrist.
“not like this.” you huffed, pulling back your hand gently.
he sighed dramatically into his pillow at the loss.
“betrayed by my own forehead.”
he lost the argument about staying home after approximately four minutes, mostly because halfway through insisting he could “totally still go out,” he’d had to stop to have a spluttered coughing fit.
now he was wrapped in one of his hoodies, sitting on the couch with a blanket over his legs, looking deeply offended by the existence of the medicine you were desperately trying to feed him.
“it’s grape flavoured.” you pleaded, eyes wide, purposefully jutting out your lower lip in attempt to convince him.
“…i don’t trust it.” he muttered, his face contorting into a pout of his own to mirror yours, his eyes sparkling with affection, even as he blatantly mocked you.
“it’s literally medicine.” you uttered, a scowl replacing your practiced pout. even when you were glowering at him, riki still thought you looked adorable.
“exactly.” he stated, smirking now.
you raised an eyebrow.
“open.”
he looked at you. then at the spoon, then back at you.
“…this feels like bullying.”
“open.” you said again, feigning sternness.
“…mean.” he huffed as he opened his mouth wide anyway.
you figured that would be the end of it, but of course, it wasn’t.
you carried your mug into the kitchen to rinse it out. a minute later, you heard soft footsteps behind you. turning around, you found riki standing in the doorway, blanket still wrapped around his shoulders, sleepy eyes fighting to stay just half open.
“…what’s the matter, baby?”
he blinked.
“…nothing.” he said after a pause.
“did you need something?” you asked, tilting your head in confusion.
“…no.” he simply stated, now slumped against the doorway, content to just be in your presence.
“…okay.”
you only hummed, turning back to the sink as warm water ran over your hands. the apartment settled into a comfortable silence again, broken only by the quiet clink of ceramic against the drying rack and the steady rain tapping against the windows.
once you’d finished, you dried your hands on the tea towel slung over your shoulder and wandered back into the living room, brushing past riki in the doorway.
a second later, you heard the familiar shuffle of socked feet behind you. you smiled to yourself, god he’s so clingy when he’s sick.
riki trailed after you without a word, blanket still draped around his shoulders and the sleeves of your hoodie hanging well past his hands. he still looked half asleep, blinking slowly as he followed you into the room before automatically settling onto the sofa next to you with a quiet sigh.
you tucked one leg beneath you and opened your laptop, intending to answer the handful of emails you’d been putting off all morning. every so often, you’d glance up to find him already looking in your direction, only for his gaze to lazily drift elsewhere the moment you noticed.
five minutes passed peacefully before you remembered your charger was still sitting on the bedside table. with a small sigh, you pushed yourself off the sofa and headed back down the hall.
soft footsteps.
you glanced over your shoulder. there he was.
“…why are you following me?”
he frowned.
“…i’m not.”
“riki.” you giggled, a fond grin overtaking your face one again.
“i was just walking.”
“in the exact same direction as me… at the exact same time?” you quipped, eyes scrunched in amusement.
“‘s just a coincidence. don’t flatter yourself, princess.” he mutters under his breath, embarrassment somehow making his face redder than it already was.
you couldn’t stop smiling as you stepped toward him and took his hand, leaning up to press a kiss to his flushed cheek, avoiding his lips in fear of also catching whatever illness has him in this delirious state. he notices immediately, dramatic pout steadily forming as you drag him to your bedroom.
about an hour earlier, you’d finally managed to coax him into taking the medicine after a long stretch of half-hearted complaining and dramatic muttering into your shoulder. now, the worst of his stubbornness had melted into something quieter and softer, sleepiness curling in slow waves through his body as he eventually gave in to rest.
you’d ended up on the sofa together, your laptop balanced carefully on your thighs, a half-finished email open on the screen, while riki had drifted into sleep pressed against your side. at some point, he’d turned into you properly, head heavy against your shoulder, one arm loosely draped over your waist as if even unconscious he didn’t want any distance between you.
you hadn’t minded. you’d just adjusted slightly, careful not to wake him, and continued typing with one hand, occasionally pausing when he shifted or let out a small sleepy sound against your hoodie.
but eventually, the emails piled up again in your mind, and the washing machine reminder you’d set earlier blinked quietly from your phone screen. you tried to move gently at first, slowly easing your arm out from under his weight. he barely reacted, just making a low, incoherent sound of protest in his sleep and tightening his grip for a second before loosening again.
it took a bit more effort than you expected, carefully sliding out from beneath his head, adjusting the blanket so it wouldn’t slip off him, brushing stray strands of hair away from his forehead as he stayed completely asleep, unaware of the quiet disruption.
only once you were sure he was settled and still breathing evenly did you finally manage to stand, stretching your stiff shoulders with a quiet breath before heading down the hall and into the laundry room.
“…hey.” he groaned a few minutes later.
you turned, surprised. riki was leaning against the doorframe with his hair, yet again, sticking up in every direction, his hoodie crumpled as he stood, looking genuinely confused.
“…what’s wrong?”
“nothing.”
“…then why are you here?”
“don’t know.” he sniffled, wiping his nose against his sleeve. you didn’t grimace at the action only due to that fact that he sounded as confused as you were.
“…i think i just… walked.”
you laughed under your breath.
“you’ve been doing that all morning.” you cooed, finally feeling like you were beginning to understand.
“doing what?”
“following me.”
“i haven’t.” he muttered through his steadily forming pout.
“really?”
he nodded immediately, your heart throbbing with adoration as he sniffled again.
“i’m just… standing here.”
“in every room i walk into.”
“…coincidence.”
“again?”
“…really weird coincidence.”
you shook your head, smiling to yourself as you poured the detergent into the drawer.
“come and sit down over here before you fall over.”
“i’m not gonna fall over.” he punctuated the sentence with a yawn so wide his eyes watered.
“…right.”
“that was unrelated.” you hummed in response.
he lingered in the doorway for another few seconds before slowly wandering back toward the sofa. or so you thought. you finished loading the washing machine, pressed start, and headed into your bedroom to put away the clean clothes you’d folded earlier. the basket was balanced against your hip as you opened the wardrobe.
shirts. jumpers. jeans.
you were halfway through hanging one of ni-ki’s hoodies when you heard it again. his soft footsteps. you didn’t even bother turning around this time.
“…hi.”
“hi, baby.” he groaned into the blanket still wrapped around him, looking at you from across the room with sleepy watery eyes.
“did you forget something?”
“…maybe.”
you smiled to yourself.
“what’d you forget?”
a pause.
“…i don’t remember.”
finally, you looked over your shoulder. he was standing in exactly the same spot he’d occupied in every other room that day. arms tucked beneath the blanket. hair falling into his eyes. he looked impossibly sleepy, blinking slowly as if staying awake had become a full-time job.
“baby.”
he only hummed in response.
“come here.”
he obeyed without hesitation, shuffling across the room until he was standing close enough that the blanket brushed against your legs. you reached up, brushing his fringe back from his forehead. still warm. his eyes slipped shut the second your fingers touched his hair.
“you’re still burning up.” you whispered, suddenly feeling bad for all of his shuffling around.
“’m better.” he groaned into your shoulder, face now falling into the crook of your neck as you tried to hold him up.
“you’ve been saying that for the whole day.”
“because it’s true.”
“is it?”
“…no.”
you smiled softly.
“thought so.” you muttered, gently pushing him off of you to get a better look at him again. he swayed ever so slightly where he stood, you rested your hands on his arms to steady him.
“c’mon.”
“where?”
“the sofa.”
“why?”
“because you’re falling asleep standing up.”
“…i can multitask.”
“sleeping and standing aren’t multitasking.”
“they could be.”
you giggled again, and even in his haze, riki thought he’d never hear a sweeter sound. you guided him slowly back into the living room. the rain outside had picked up again, tapping steadily against the windows while the washing machine hummed faintly down the hall. the apartment felt warm despite the weather, smelling faintly of coffee and laundry detergent.
riki sat where you pointed him, immediately curling into the corner of the sofa with the blanket pulled all the way up to his chin. you disappeared into the kitchen for less than a minute to refill his water bottle. when you came back… he was gone.
“…riki?”
“in here.”
his voice drifted from the kitchen. you walked in to find him leaning against the counter, staring blankly into the fridge.
“what are you doing?”
“…looking.”
“for what?”
“…i don’t know.”
you closed the fridge.
“i think your fever’s making your brain a little fuzzy.” you frowned.
“…i forgot where you went.” he quietly admitted after looking at you for a long moment.
you blinked.
“i was gone for maybe thirty seconds.”
“felt longer.”
his cheeks pinkened, whether from embarrassment or the fever you couldn’t tell.
“…i thought you disappeared.”
your expression softened.
“oh.”
he immediately looked away.
“not because i was worried or anything.”
“no?” you cooed, eyes wide as you fought off a smile so he’d know you were taking him seriously.
“…i just…”
he rubbed the back of his neck.
“…didn’t really wanna be by myself.”
the confession came out so quietly you almost missed it. you smiled.
“that’s why you’ve been following me.”
his head snapped up.
“i have not.” he muttered indignantly, his eyebrows pulled together as he attempted his very best scowl.
“riki.”
“i haven’t.”
“you’ve followed me into the kitchen. the living room. the laundry room. the bedroom. and now i’ve caught you waiting outside the bathroom twice.”
“…those don’t count.”
“why not?”
“…because…”
he frowned, searching for an excuse.
“…i was supervising.”
“supervising?”
“making sure…”
another pause.
“…you didn’t get lonely.”
you couldn’t help but let out a stifled giggle, his ears pricking and immediately turning pink at the sound.
“don’t laugh.” he whined, hand rising to flick at your arm.
“i’m not laughing at you.” you remarked, the bright smile plastered on your face indicating otherwise.
“you are.”
“i’m laughing because you’re adorable.”
“i’m sick.”
“those things aren’t mutually exclusive.”
he groaned, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder again with another unnecessarily dramatic sigh.
“…you’re never letting this go.” he muttered into your neck, lips brushing your pulse point like instinct.
“absolutely not.”
for a second neither of you spoke. instead, you opted to simply rest your hand against the back of his head, gently combing your fingers through his messy hair.
almost instantly, you felt his shoulders relax. the tension he’d been carrying all morning seemed to melt away beneath your touch.
“…comfy?” you asked quietly, receiving only a sleepy hum in return.
“want to go lie down?”
he shook his head against your shoulder.
“…why?”
“…’cause if i stay here…” he yawned, the sound catching halfway through as his eyes fluttered closed for a moment.
“…i know where you are.”
your heart squeezed so suddenly it almost hurt. for a second, all you could do was look at him. all morning he’d insisted he wasn’t following you. realistically, you knew he’d been untruthful, but it still tugged at your heart all the same. with his fever dulling the filter between his thoughts and the words leaving his mouth, it’d slipped out before he could stop it.
he hadn’t been looking for a snack, or trying to help, or even particularly interested in whatever chore you happened to be doing. he’d just wanted to be wherever you were. a quiet pang of guilt settled in your chest.
without another word, you closed the small distance between you and wrapped your arms around him. he melted into the embrace almost instantly, like it was the most natural thing in the world.
his shoulders, which had been sitting just a little too high all morning, gradually relaxed again beneath your hands. you felt him let out a slow, sleepy breath against your shoulder before his arms found their way around your waist, as they always did, holding onto you with just enough pressure to say everything he hadn’t.
“you know,” you murmured, “you could’ve just asked me to stay with you.”
“…i know.”
“instead you decided to become my shadow.”
“…worked, didn’t it?”
you giggled softly.
“yeah.”
you reached up to press a kiss against his warm forehead.
