"look at me." waiting until his eyes find mine before i move at all.
him trying. eyes squeezed shut, jaw tight, so overwhelmed already and i haven't even started. "please?" softer this time.
him finding my eyes. that face. open and wrecked and trusting and so shy about all three.
holding his gaze. staying completely still. letting him feel the weight of it. the fullness. the waiting.
"there you are." pressing a kiss to his jaw. feeling him exhale shakily against me. "stay with me."
"i'm trying—" voice already gone. barely anything left in it.
"i know." starting to move. slow. watching his eyes want to close and staying right there until they don't. "stay with me. right here."
him nodding. grip tightening on my arms. trying so hard to hold eye contact while i take him apart piece by piece. the effort of it written all over his face. every time his eyes start to flutter i slow down. wait. watch him pull himself back.
"good." moving again. deeper this time. feeling him gasp. "that's so good. you're doing so well."
"please—" not even sure what he's asking for. more. less. just something.
"i've got you." not stopping. not speeding up either. just steady. deliberate. watching everything. "i'm not going anywhere. eyes on me."
him nodding. barely. eyes finally steady on mine.
starting to move properly now. slow rolls of my hips. deep. feeling him take it. feeling him open up around me every time i press in.
"there." watching his mouth fall open. "does that feel good?"
"yes—" broken. immediate. "i needed this—"
"i know." not changing the pace. watching every flicker across his face. the way his brows pull together when it's too much. the way his lips part wider when i hit the right angle. learning him.
his hips starting to move with me.
"look at how eager you are, puppy." said soft. pressing a kiss to his cheek. his temple. "you're so needy."
"sorry—" not stopping. "sorry i can't—"
"don't apologize." deeper. watching his eyes flutter and staying right there until they find me again. "take what you need."
the sound he makes at that. something cracking right open in the middle of it. hands gripping my arms hard enough to leave bruises behind.
"please faster—" barely a whisper. "i need—"
"yeah?" not going faster. staying exactly where i am. watching him suffer through it so beautifully. "you need more?"
"please mommy-" eyes wet now. that overwhelmed place he gets to when it's been too long and too good and his body doesn't know what to do with itself. "please mommy please i need it—"
holding his gaze. keeping the pace slow for three more strokes. watching him count each one on his face. watching him try to hold it together.
then giving him what he wants.
feeling him gasp so loud it breaks. hips snapping up to meet me. hands flying to my back pulling me in. his whole body chasing it now, no more trying to hold still, no more patience.
"that's it." moving harder. watching him unravel. "that's exactly it. let me see you."
"oh god—" not coherent anymore. just sounds. just reaction. thighs pressing against my hips, whole body pulling me deeper, that sound in his throat getting higher and more desperate with every stroke.
"you feel so good." pressing my forehead to his. staying right there. right in his face. watching everything. "you feel so perfect. you take me so well. every single time."
"mommy—" cracked completely open. tears spilling. unable to hold any of it back.
"i've got you." not slowing. "let go. i've got you."
the sound he makes when he gets there. everything at once. his whole body going rigid and then shaking. hands gripping me so tight. hips still working through it. feeling him clench and shake and completely lose it against me.
making a mess of my strap. completely soaked. so gone he doesn't even register it. just riding it out. working himself through every last second of it with his face buried in my neck and his hands fisted in my shirt and those small broken sounds going quieter and quieter until there's just breathing.
pulling him in immediately after he comes down. both arms. pressing my lips to his hair. his temple. feeling his whole body go limp against me.
"so good." stroking his back slow. "you were so good. so perfect."
him making a small satisfied sound against my neck.
"i've got you. i'm right here."
staying exactly like that until he falls asleep in my arms.
