No Shame In The Jagged Lines

James Holmgren || 21 || Government Aide || “Home is not places, it is love.”

[softgrungekieren]

[lukenewberryfans-blog]

Luke Newberry and Oliver Johnstone in Teddy Ferrara

[thequeenofmidnight]

[james-holmgren]

thequeenofmidnight:

Fangirl Challenge

3/10 Male Characters - Kieren Walker

Optimist? Amy, I killed myself.

[sufferingshipper-blog]

Luke Newberry x Jack Falahee

[sweet-tournesol]

By Gwendolyn Keasberry

[sweet-tournesol]

By Gwendolyn Keasberry

[theundeadsiren]

Luke Newberry in rehearsals for Teddy Ferrara (x)

[lukenewberryfans-blog]

[james-holmgren]

lukenewberryfans:

Luke Newberry and Oliver Johnstone take a break from #TeddyFerrara rehearsals to celebrate #InternationalLiteracyDay (X)

[james-holmgren]

riddledjustice:

“Terror light?” Grant repeated the words over slowly, “James, that isn’t answering anything. Why are you just saying random words? I get it, you’re fine, you look amazing considering how things could have turned out, which I don’t even want to start thinking about, I’m glad you only have little nicks here and there. I mean, those will heal up in no time. You even had your normal adorable smile on, but…” James looked as confused as Grant was, and he was really fucking confused, “if you’re messing with me, you can knock it off now. You got me, funny joke.” As if James would just mess with him like this, James wouldn’t, and that’s what made it more confusing to him. “Hey,” Grant tilted his head, “can you… are you understanding anything I’m saying?” He squeezed James’ hand and looked at him for any sort of answer, “just, poke my nose if you get this?”

A nurse came in not long after, giving Grant time to explain what was going on. He didn’t know what was going on, but at least he could voice that. The nurse was talking to James now and that would have to tell her something, right? There had to be some reason why James wasn’t talking right.

James didn’t understand Grant and... Grant must not have understood James. He was saying a mess of words, strung together with no meaning. They kept coming and coming and James just kept shaking his head. Grant wasn’t making any sense. When Grant grabbed his hands, James squeezed them, trying to cling to something familiar. “Look would and tell door for.” I don’t know what you’re saying.

A nurse came in and James clung to Grant’s hand. His hand shook, but he still felt grounded next to Grant. He felt like things were maybe going to be okay. Except he couldn’t understand her either, and everything started to fall apart. Please tell me you know what’s wrong with me. “Okay say even won’t to dog basket that even.” He watched as she frowned and turned to Grant, speaking nonsense. He couldn’t understand a single word that came out of her mouth.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with him, exactly, we’ll have to have one of the doctor’s take a look...” Turning back to James, she studied him for a moment. “You said you found him, right? Was there any debris on his head?”

[james-holmgren]

soleilbordeaux:

Soleil was trying, she really was, but she was confused at what James was saying. “Uhm… do you need tape?” She offers a little, looking around, her confusion written all over her ever expressive face. “Uhm… well I don’t have any tape, just flowers.” She offers him a nervous smile.

Nothing. Nothing was making sense. He shook his head, opening his mouth. He made sense, didn’t he? All of his words were coming out right, he was sure. But Soleil sounded like she was just saying words at random. “Diamond trap book.” Something isn’t right. “Was cup somehow for while cup.” Please tell me you understand me.

[james-holmgren]

riddledjustice:

Grant laughed while shaking his head, for all the people who wanted Grant to shut up - James actually wanted him to read. How was he not tired of his voice by now? He ducked down to peck James on the lips, “you’re the strangest person ever, I hope you know that.” He opened the book up as he settled against James, reading the story and wondering what it’d be like curling up with a movie playing in front of them. This was nice, though… being tangled together with a blanket, letting everything else fade out of their little bubble. Maybe a movie would have been too loud, maybe Grant’s dramatics and emphasis when he read and the little sounds James made made this more personal.

“The Beast guy is a prick,” Grant pointed out after a few chapters, “then again, I’d probably be a huge grump to if I was stuck in a castle, at least, I imagine I would be? I’d rather not find out for sure. Could you actually imagine me stomping around bitching about everything? That would be really, really weird.” Kissing the top of James’ head, he stretched a bit. “Sleepy? Want tea before you sleep? Not sleepy at all and want tea anyway? Screw tea all together?” It was random, but it popped up in his head so, as usual, he said it before thinking it over, “thank you for loving me.” It was different than when he thanked him for getting to know him, he was scared that he was saying goodbye then. Now he was thanking him for getting to know the light and dark corners of him mind and all else in between, and beyond all reason why he shouldn’t, honestly loving him. He believed James, he really did.

“No, you’re the strangest. But I’ll take second place.” James waggled his eyebrows, laughing at Grant. This was what it was like to have a boyfriend. This was what it felt like to have somebody who cared about you. Someone you could lay with on your day off and just enjoy their presence. They didn’t have to talk, they didn’t have to kiss or have sex. They could just lay with each other. And Grant was fun to read with. James didn’t really have the imagination to make voices in his head when he read, but Grant did. Sometimes his voices would make James laugh, but other times he found them almost believable. (And Grant’s fake french accent? Pretty attractive.) It was two of James’ favorite things in the world. Books. And Grant.

Grant stretched out and James followed suit, pulling himself up so he could rest on Grant’s chest and look down at him. “I don’t think you’d be grumpy. You’d probably make friends with all the enchanted objects and then when a pretty girl comes your way, you’re really approachable and she’ll swoon before the flower can even think about wilting. But, you also wouldn’t have gotten yourself cursed, so..” Leaning down, he kissed Grant’s lips softly again. “Not sleepy and no tea. I just wanna be with you.” He smiled at Grant, using the arm that wasn’t propping himself up to brush hair out of Grant’s face. “Anytime.” He muttered. His fingers trailed down to brush through Grant’s stubble and he was being sappy, whatever. “Really, I should be thanking you for loving me.”

[james-holmgren]

silasralston:

Silas had agreed to help - with everything going on classes had been cancelled and he’d been left to either sit aside uselessly or aid Caine in helping the victims of the blast. He’d chosen the latter option, obviously, and he could feel himself sigh in irritation as the young man sat up and spoke nonsense. Striding into the room, Silas reached over and took the man’s wrist in his hand, finding his pulse to check his vitals as Caine had told him. This was the same boy that he’d spoken to in the dining hall the previous day. Luckily for Silas he was having lunch with Caine at home that day.

“Do you know where you are?” He asked, keeping his voice calm and slow.

It was the man that James had spoken to the day before. James wasn’t sure if he was a nurse, or if he was simply here to torment the boy, but he was sure he was being made fun of. Especially when the words coming out of his mouth made no sense. Deadpanning, he drew his lips into a frown. “Under. Boy to.” Haha, very funny.

[james-holmgren]

soleilbordeaux:

“No… no my name is Soleil.” She shakes her head a little, trying to offer James a small smile. “Jack and I came to check on you. Grant told me you were in the hospital.” She takes a step into the room, a baby strapped to her chest with what looked like a well-tied sheet, because it mostly was. She sets a handful of wildflowers on his side table. “Are you doing okay? When I heard you were missing I was so worried. I mean… not that a hospital is much better but at least people can help you out here. Are you hurt?”

James looked up at the familiar voice, squinting at Soleil. She wasn’t the first to visit, so he knew, but... he had hoped it would be different. No, none of her words made sense. They were nonsensical at best, just jumbled sentences of words that didn’t make sense. Why was nobody making sense? “Tape-” Soleil. “Tape, small you set came.” Soleil, I can’t understand you. Would she be able to understand him?

[james-holmgren]

riddledjustice:

Grant groaned and let his head thunk against the wall. James and Charley were both out cold. James found in the rubble after punching a guard in the eye (he can’t believe he punched someone… he didn’t punch people - he would apologize if he even remembered what the man had looked like) to get past him and towards the collapsed pieces of building. Fear and relief took over when he finally saw a familiar red that wasn’t blood.

His voice was still strained from yelling out towards a guard as he pushed away anything touching the man lying on the ground. He sat down watching the figure run over to them, lifting the light body up and into his arms, smiling before everything went black.

Pieces were missing, but they got here, they were all here.

But Blake… she didn’t know anything, did she? She’d have felt her heart sink into the acid of her stomach if she heard James’ name among the missing, but- but Grant couldn’t just go find Blake and talk to her. Dammit! Thunk. Grant grit his teeth the more he thought, his hand tightening around the bottle of water he stepped out to grab. Straightening himself up, he walked into James’ room again and - and he was awake. Fucking hell, at least one of them woke up already.

Taking his hand in his, he looked at him with widened eyes, “have the nurses said anything? You’re okay, right? Do you need anything?” He uncapped his water and held it out, “will this help? Just let me know how you’re feeling and if you need me to get anyone - I should definitely get someone, and… wait… did you say frog bag?”

James didn’t need to look up to know who had entered his room, but the second he heard Grant’s voice, he looked up with a smile. He had been banged up and his head hurt so much, but it could have been a lot worse. All his bones were in place, the ringing had left his ears. He was okay and Grant was here.

Except Grant wasn’t making any sense. “Terror light-” He repeated the words that he’d heard and shook his head, looking at Grant in utter confusion. Was Grant so upset he was mixing up his words? Grant, you aren’t making any sense. “Ladle, fan toe blanket door light.” They words sounded just right to him, exactly like they were supposed to, he didn’t even know he was talking nonsense.

[james-holmgren]

James had always hated hospitals. He wasn’t sure if it was the smell, so clean that it pierced his nose and made it ache, or if it was just the idea... people were dying here. James knew where he was the second he woke; the smell had clung to him so tightly... He took a deep breath, opening his eyes carefully.

The light blinded him for a minute and he shut his eyes again. His head hurt so much. But he was okay, wasn’t he? He could feel his legs, could move his fingers. He was okay.

Feeling a presence at the door, he pulled himself up into a sitting position. He didn’t even want to look, it was probably just some nurse, but... He just had to tell them he was okay. His mouth felt so dry, but he knew he had to tell them he was okay. Looking down at his fingers, he took another deep breath. “Frog bag.” He said, his voice as clear as day.

[james-holmgren]

riddledjustice:

He pulled the dog tag over his own shirt on James’ body - his clothes, his sister’s chain… How did the guy he mentioned ‘sexy eating’ to become this figure in his life that he could only hope was permanent? He wrapped his arms around James without thinking about it, closing his eyes for a second after he took in his appearance. “I love you.” It was all still sinking in that yeah, this was his boyfriend. God, he was glad his inner monologue wasn’t spilling out to be heard.

Grant shifted on his side to look over at James like he said the weirdest thing known to man. “You… I mean, don’t you hear my voice enough? I’m not really quiet or anything…” Grant trailed off, glancing away shyly before wrapping an arm around James and pulling him against him. He smelled just like home - wrapped up in the smell of his clothes, surrounded by the air of his room and the home he shared with Charley, and obviously, the soap, shampoo and Holmgren house mixed together on James’ skin that always reminded him of being somewhere safe - another home. Only now all of that lingered in the same space and he couldn’t help feeling what kids must have felt like on Christmas day.

James watched as Grant pulled the dog tag out from underneath his shirt. He caught the look in Grant’s eyes and when Grant spoke those words... well, he knew he meant them. And god, if those three words weren’t James’ favorite... Hearing them from Grant’s lips made them seem tens of thousands time better. “I love you too,” He muttered, leaning forward to capture Grant with a small kiss.

James curled into Grant easily, still trying to push the book back towards his boyfriend. “No such thing as enough,” he muttered, placing his head on Grant’s chest. If he placed his ear directly on his chest, he could hear the thumping of Grant’s heart and he could feel himself smiling like an idiot. “Please?” Because honestly, James wasn’t above begging.

[offroadkantapon]

In The Flesh Appreciation Week ∟ Favourite Kieren Walker Moment ↳ Kieren’s (forced) rabid state I’ve a funny story of my own, actually. I rose from the dead and then, after that, I ripped people apart.