胖的餃子

teah. 19. aus. "i don't care, it's going up his ass" + i track jamesbarncs

[membersonlyguy]

[mjalti]

why come they called him “beast” in the castle when everyone knew his name cuz they’d been working for him forever anyway? like …. i would just be like “hey chewbacca-Adam” or some shit, there’s no reason to call him beast … id hide in my room all day too if my employees started making fun of me..

[teaboot]

If my manager decided to pull some rude ass shit with a witch and got me living the next ten years of my life as an immortal singing toaster oven you can bet your ass I’d wake him up every goddamn morning with a flaming panini directly to the face. rise and shine, you ugly fuck, time hear a song

[useryennefer]

You never Googled yourself up and found something awful like ‘Who made this up?’ Listen, I don’t Google myself because I try to get through the day without anxiety, so it’s not like on the top of priorities for me.

[rosewater1997]

My favorite feeling is when it’s winter and you wake up in the middle of the night and you look out the window and there’s snow on the ground and the sky is kind of light colored and it looks misplaced and kind of eerie but also comforting i love it the most 

[denisvileneuve]

Harry Styles as Alex in Dunkirk (2017), dir. Christopher Nolan

[whomst]

Every horse movie

Sarah aynn: “no one understands me I hate you Mom for making us move out here in the middle of no where there’s not even cute boys” *runs away and finds mysterious farm* Old man wilkinson: “this right here lil lady is a hourisey if yer can tame t it’s yoires if not it’s goin back to the horse factory” Sarsjh: *walks up to horse and starts to pet its nose* “see girl? You and me aren’t so different after all” Old man wonka: “why I don’t believe it she done tamed ol’ misery I reckon she ought to sign her up for the horuse show and save the farm” *cut scene of Sarah sneaking out the house to ride her horse everyday until her mom finds out* Mom: “young lady you are GROUNDED!!!! You are not allowed to compete in the horse show” Staryah: “no Mom please” *runs away and almost gets hit by car but then the horse pushes the car out the way" Mom: “fucjkfidnb maybe that’s a good horse after all”

[sebastiansource]

Sebastian Stan at the 'I, Tonya’ Los Angeles Premiere on Dec 5th, 2017.

[mjalti]

it must be so nice to be rich instead of like … having to develop a personality

[sageklaire]

shut up lol

[mjalti]

buy my silence

[drafthearse]

me flirting: hey wanna go be gay in the woods

[wonderswoman]

# i’m chris 

[phantasymist]

eleven is extra af because for her badass return she killed a demodog and then straight up launched it through joyce’s window, like that was so unnecessary but what else do you expect a queen to do

[wintersthighs]

˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥᷄⌓˂̣̣̥᷅ )‧º·˚

[dammitrussellwhy]

[thepleasuregoblin]

“Shapeshifting, but only once” is still one of the funniest concepts to me

[super-metroid]

[beyoncebeytwice]

all boys do is LIE

[excima]

bye

[capacity]

Me

[burntheceiling]

[c3po]

man 2008 had some bangers!!!!!!

[slimetony]

there was a financial crisis

[c3po]

sorry i was like 11 i only remember the bangers