Help, 2 of my best friends think Spinel going with the Diamonds at the end throws away her character arc because she goes from her toxic dependant relationship with Pink to the Diamond's codependant adoration. They know that the show is likely to go into their dinamic in season 6, but they don't care since they think the movie should stand on it's own. I think their relationship will give them all a chance to grow, but I can't help seeing their point.
so… here’s the thing. i think the movie intentionally leaves room for feeling like spinel and the diamonds rushed into things because they’re both quite early in their growing process, but i would hesitate to call it toxic codependence (it’s more of an intentionally flawed starting point), or in any way a break from their character growth or the film’s themes as a standalone piece. i’d like to point out three things:
point one: most familial relationships start out on the basis of knowing someone else related to the person. like. your grandparents wouldn’t take an interest in getting to know you if you weren’t their child’s child. that’s just how it works.
and this is kind of similar - if “daughter-coded” is a thing, then pink diamond is that in relation to the other diamonds. and the diamonds have always loved gemkind *in relation to their diamond* - like, in a “we take care of our people because they’re Ours” kind of way. all gems are made by the diamonds, and if that’s the case, then the ‘daughter diamond’s’ gems may be perceived as a kind of grandchild or psuedochild it’s important to preserve and protect.
so that’s a very benign, “we’re gonna take care of what our child made” read on it. which is pretty hard to say is inherently abusive or codependent, i think.
point two: the movie’s point is not to entirely undo spinel’s and the diamond’s issues. so to read it as a failed attempt to do so is, i think, incorrect.
by contrast, the movie really stresses how you SHOULDN’T think there’s an endpoint to your growth. you have to keep trying to become better. you may have to keep struggling your entire life. that is very much compatible with the characters still being somewhat flawed by the end of it. it reinforces the movie’s message, rather than working against it. it’s thematically consistent.
if the movie has a thesis statement, it’s this: “there’s no such thing as happily ever after. i’ll always have more work to do”.
this is reinforced by the finale song in a number of more subtle ways:
“happily ever after, there we were - and here we are” implies we are now somewhere else. “i’ll be ready every day, for as long as (…) i’m in the future with my friends - that’s why happily ever after never ends” carries that through. here, instead of meaning “complacent happiness without growth”, steven transforms the “happily ever after” concept into his own, more accurate version. the meaning he gives it is “i’ll keep growing with my friends by my side, and i’ll be ready to change & work on myself for the rest of my life”.
this is also reinforced by spinel herself. she admits that friendship isn’t going to be easy for her. she has to work on herself. that’s a blatant reminder to the audience that she’s ready to keep growing instead of becoming complacent - and it’s a reminder placed right before the diamonds arrive. that’s not subtle.
so the intent here isn’t to give spinel a perfectly happy ending - it’s sweet, but its primary purpose is acknowledging the possibility of healing by giving her a new beginning. a chance to have a relationship with people she hasn’t hurt. “i’ve already messed things up with you”. this was the same thing blocking steven & the diamonds’ relationship. they’d already hurt him. so he was uncomfortable spending all his time with them.
“you guys have really gotten better at showing affection” has two meanings.
1. i’m proud of your progress.
2. there was a time you guys were awful at this. towards me. i remember that.
and one does not erase the other. steven is genuinely happy for the diamonds! he’s not about to downplay their growth or abandon their cooperative partnership - but he’s not gonna let them smother him either. he wants his own life.
point three: the diamonds and spinel have genuinely grown.
no, not in the way where they are no longer flawed. that would be weird. the diamonds still primarily relate to others through a “diamond’s creation” lens, even if they are making the effort to see those creations as equal.
spinel, on her side, is not too trusting as much as she’s still trying to find a puzzle piece to fit a void inside of her. but that’s kinda normal, at this point in her development. everyone needs reasons to keep going in life when everything falls apart, and those reasons need not be perfectly fulfilling - they just have to be enough for the person in question (for now).
so okay, how have they grown?
spinel is growing past her toxicity. her issue was not so much codependence as it was an inability to handle rejection and abandonment. those things are connected, sure, but there’s nothing inherently wrong with latching onto someone. even someone you have a familial connection with. the problem is when that becomes so all-consuming - as it did with pink, albeit understandably - that one lashes out in its absence.
and the first step towards dealing with that is acknowledging one’s flawed behavior. which spinel does, finally, when she realizes she can’t hurt steven anymore and trying isn’t making her happy. she understands that she’s being ridiculous, toxic, and the antithesis to a good friend.
also, spinel accepted that she’s not entitled to anyone’s friendship. heck, she thought she may be alone for a while, and still thinks that working on herself is a prerequisite for keeping friends. that cannot be undone by finding someone else willing to give friendship a try. this, along with the understanding of “no happily ever afters”, shows that she is self-aware and won’t let herself get complacent in this new relationship. she’s gonna keep trying every day, just like steven.
so in summary, for spinel - she’s unlearning her toxic behavior patterns, trying to undo her damage, self-aware about her flaws, and wants to start over with new friendships. none of which is undone by the diamonds.
as for how the diamonds have grown - firstly, in actually listening to people.
communication on equal grounds is the first step towards better relationships. this is perhaps obvious, but their flaw was never exactly codependence, either. it was a power imbalance where they ignored, tormented and condescended their “daughter” into running away. steven has helped them realize how they were wrong to do so, how their perfectionism didn’t justify what they did to pink. or to anyone else. or to themselves.
so now, they’ve come face-to-face with their self-justification and found it invalid. they have to start over from there. they have no excuse not to listen to people anymore, and are still figuring out how to do right by others.
this is something they’re actively trying to correct - firstly, with steven, who they Very Much listen to. to the point of putting him on a pedestal. this is perhaps an overcorrection, along the lines of how rebecca sugar described peridot’s turn as, at least at her “new recruit” stage, overzealousness towards a form of caring that had never been on her radar before.
this, of course, steven partially rejects (albeit gently) and tries to distance himself from. it’s not untrue that they’re not entirely over pink, either. for him, that’s still a sore point. but they are trying to grow & listen to others, however slowly.
like spinel, they understand they have flaws. they are earnestly trying to correct them. what both sides “need” is a chance to put these lessons into practice, forming new relationships instead of insisting on clinging to someone you’ve hurt (like they both tried with steven).
now, they will attempt with each other. perhaps successfully, perhaps not, but nevertheless, it’s a chance to grow together, with a newfound understanding of how they, themselves, can screw it up. that, in itself, is a good thing.
it’s a flawed starting point, because the characters themselves are supposed to still be flawed, yes. but to say that this undoes their growth, i think, is quite… heartless. like. they don’t need to be alone and in pain until they’re Perfectly Emotionally Mature, and only Then do they get to have relationships again. that’s not how people heal. they should be allowed to try, fail, explore, try again. that’s certainly in line with the movie’s core message.
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