Thoughts & Exploits of a 32 Year Old Female Person

Janessa Lynn Ho Writer. Singer. Actor. Lolita. Bird Watcher. Herbivore. Dreamer. Romantic. Learner. Traveler. Teacher. Girl.

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#VietSub #DoubleEntendre #DamnYou #ThangDeu #AmericanDream #LDR

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I rarely post personal readings (that I do for myself) but this one felt like one for the collective, so what the hell 😊 . 1. Wouldn't it be easier if Love was the byproduct of having a Life rather than a prerequisite to sustain a will-to-live? Both are true, but the perspective and approach of the former brings peace and comfort in all conditions. . 2. Speaking your truth sharply and directly encompasses all of the nuance you wish to convey in the dance of "explaining". Speak from the heart and you will be heard by the heart. . 3. "What might have been and what has been point to one end: which is always present." So stop squandering the present pondering what could be if the past were different. That is closed system and therefore limited. There is unlimited potential in the present and vastness of the future. . ♥️ . #morningreading #tarotinsights #oraclecards #claircognizance #frequencypainting #love #life #truth #heart #presence #potential #tselliot #dailytarot #tealswantarotdeck #tarotreading #collectiveconsciousness https://www.instagram.com/p/Bx2bf3HlP8U/?igshid=3cf6bsmp4420

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“The War on Men Through the Degradation of Woman” by Jada Pinkett-Smith

“How is man to recognize his full self, his full power through the eye’s of an incomplete woman? The woman who has been stripped of Goddess recognition and diminished to a big ass and full breast for physical comfort only.

The woman who has been silenced so she may forget her spiritual essence because her words stir too much thought outside of the pleasure space. The woman who has been diminished to covering all that rots inside of her with weaves and red bottom shoes. I am sure the men, who restructured our societies from cultures that honored woman, had no idea of the outcome. They had no idea that eventually, even men would render themselves empty and longing for meaning, depth and connection. There is a deep sadness when I witness a man that can’t recognize the emptiness he feels when he objectifies himself as a bank and truly believes he can buy love with things and status. It is painful to witness the betrayal when a woman takes him up on that offer. He doesn’t recognize that the [creation] of a half woman has contributed to his repressed anger and frustration of feeling he is not enough. He then may love no woman or keep many half women as his prize. He doesn’t recognize that it’s his submersion in the imbalanced warrior culture, where violence is the means of getting respect and power, as the reason he can break the face of the woman who bore him four children. When woman is lost, so is man. The truth is, woman is the window to a man’s heart and a man’s heart is the gateway to his soul. Power and control will NEVER out weigh love. May we all find our way.” Jada Pinkett-Smith

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Part 1 revisited.

Grief.

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Not the least obeisance made he; not a moment stopped or stayed he (at Arvada, Colorado)

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My Commitment to Hoping. For Patrick and my mom, Susan.

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😔🙏🏼💔☮️

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Dear Laurence,

I don’t know how to write this without sounding like I’m in second grade.  I want to honor you by delivering profundity and fancy prose, but the feelings I’m left with today are so raw and basic that there is really no other way to put it-

Thank you for helping me.

You were a true friend. I am so sad that you are gone.  

You made me feel cared about and taught me how to care about myself.  

All of the people you have helped have lost a wonderful expression of love and understanding in your form.  

I will miss you so much :/

I promise to try to handle this how I know you would invite me to: with self-love, an open heart, and trust in the source from whence we came.

I am grateful to have known you.  Rest easy.  And I’ll see you on the other side.

Sincerely,

Janessa

[janessalynnho]

#yearofthedragon #1988 #fearnothingandnoone

[janessalynnho]

“He was a different person then.”

“And so was I.  Now do you know what we’ve become?”

“Enemies.”

“Oh no.  Much worse.  Now we’re soulmates.”

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So We Sing Another Day (part II)

I do not want to fade into darkness.  I want to ascend into light.

The former is so tempting, and the seemingly easier way out- but I must strive for the light.  It would be the highest honor I could do the people I love.  I don’t want them to worry about me.  I want to help light the world for others, too.

I’m going to try.  I’m going to try.  I’m going to do.  I, one day, will BE.

A good friend of mine gave me a piece of advice this morning:

“So I think - if I may - that you need to differentiate consciousness (this one, and the idea of others) from the physical self, or the idea of life/death.”

Thank you, David.  You’re right.

Mindfulness.  Meditation.  The state of Nirvana we can visit whilst here, in Earth School.  

I can reunite with the Godly source from whence we came without opting out of this existence.  I am, as we all are, an expression of that infinite essence of love.  We are all in this together.  And together we can live happily alight.

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Never again.

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“Perhaps opposites attract... but compliments sustain.”

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Volume III

God, how old am I?

This summer feels like it’s lasted for years- and it’s not even over.

In some ways it’s been the quietest, most low key sum of months in my life. In others it’s been the wildest, most dangerously informing, transformative, cathartic, metamorphic sum of moments in my life.

They say the study of thine own self is the key to our source- the infinite collective (of love, I believe) of which we’re each individual expressions.  But my human experience doesn’t read like a textbook.  I often wish it would.

Mostly I find myself just trying to get through the next ten minutes without breaking- mostly over the knowledge that I probably won’t break.  I’m a strong girl.  But being that feels harder than anything sometimes.

…

“You’ve been abandoned by key figures your whole life.  Don’t abandon yourself.” 

…

I won’t, Laurence.

My cup isn’t half full or empty.  Because it’s not a cup-

It’s an ocean.

[janessalynnho]

Ctrl+A, Backspace

Yeeeeeahhhh....

[janessalynnho]

"So We Sing Another Day”

by Janessa O’Fallon

If I were someone else

If I were blind and living in the city

If I were rich and living in the country

If I were blessed in all the ways the other girls seemed to be

               Then I wouldn’t be me.

If I held in my questions and laughter

If I never dreamed of crawling across the desert

If I accepted the world at face value and contorted in accord

If I pretended I didn’t care whether you like or love me and if its eternal or not

                 Then I wouldn’t be me.

And If I weren’t me?

Then I wouldn’t be.

And if I simply were not.

energy would be lost.

So we sing another day.