37 years ago a witch done put a spell on me
Where when we got to talkin' our hearts sang out in glee!
When we were together I never felt alone
That's why I called that mountain witch my home
But when you're on the mountain, you've got no guarantees
I gave her all my roses and she took all that she pleased
She kept takin' risks as we lived out all my fears
My love took on the mountain unprepared
Unprepared, so unprepared
That witch just couldn't care
She lived a life of thrills
Her truth was dares!
Unprepared, so unprepared
I said, "Unless you got a spare,
You got one life, so handle it with care!"
37 years ago we donned our gear and skiis
I was mighty nervous but she was filled with glee
Well, when you're always panicked and you always feel alone
It's either fightin' or your partner isn't home
But way up on the mountain, I had no guarantees
I gave her my last roses, I just wanted her with me
But when the mountain rumbled, we were unprepared
That day this here old mountain goat was spared!
Unprepared, so unprepared
I sure was fuckin' scared!
But that bitch was grindin' powder unaware!
I got buried by the snow
And I thought that I was dead
I got buried way down deep as debris did crush my head
I got dug back out
And got to breathe fresh air
I got rescued by that mountain witch
And for once she sure looked scared
She was scared, enough to care
And although my life was spared
It changed forever in a second then and there
37 years ago a witch done put a curse on me
A curse where I can't talk right 'cause of my injuries
When I began to slow her down with all my chronic pain
Communication and our relationship did strain
And one day on the mountain, she finally did leave
I grew no more roses but I learned to sing
So I took on the mountain, this time with no fear
I was finally free to just be here!
I repaired, got prepared
I was finally not scared!
This lesson must be shared:
Be prepared!
37 days ago there was a young lady
Appeared up on the mountain and called out cautiously
Her granny was in trouble and she was all alone
That's why she asked if she could use my phone
And way up on my mountain, she had audacity
I flashed back to roses while she kept talkin' over me
Way high up the mountain, I saw how she was scared
I recognized myself in her despair
She cared, she really cared!
She deserved to be aware
Of all the ways that witch had left her unprepared!
Unprepared, so unprepared
I thought, "Unless you got a spare,
You got one life, so handle it with care!"
I got a chance to break the tension
And I got her to play along
I got all these useful silly horns to show and tell through song
But the girl got very frustrated
And honestly that's fair
But she also got a sudden shock
As we both dropped through the air
3.7 meters down we landed in the mine
I sang out a warnin': keep in the mine cart at all times!
And when our cart went over that first big major drop
That girl screamed so loud I thought her heart'd stop!
But as we curved around the mountain, she began to ease
And so to soothe both our nerves I yodeled as I pleased
See the truth is on the mountain, you'll have to face your fears
That's why I'd done my best to be prepared!
I'd prepared, I really swear
I made sure to stay aware
I did this 'cause I care
I prepared!
Despite despair, I stay prepared
'Cause I don't got a spare!
I got one life, so I handle it with care!
Buuuuut... the mountain began rumblin' and I got fuckin' scared
An avalanche was comin', would we both be spared?
But thanks to that old witch's spell I couldn't fuckin' scream
So I did my best to just accept I'd yodel till we're creamed!
I was unaware that the track had blown to bits
As our cart took to the air we were certain this was it!
My mind sure was racin' I had to find a way
To spare us both from certain death that day!
Just then a disembodied voice called out from up above
A familiar voice filled with concern and love
She called out to the girl that she had to use her hood
And if I hadn't acted fast I'd be gone for good!
Did she really hate me or did she feel a thing?
Do you think she realized she's the reason that I sing?
Would that witch still recognize my number on the phone?
Or has my face just changed that much from testosterone?
I quickly had to rid my mind of all memories of scorn
I only had enough time to start my propeller horns
And as I passed the girl and I began to sing
One last victorious reminder I caught her smiling
When they called a few days later, imagine my surprise
When they asked me to start deliverin' their muffins and their pies
I considered saying no but quite honestly
They agreed to let me set my terms and pay me handsomely
So now I've got horns that hold up muffins
And I've got horns that hold up pies
I've got horns that fly with new cloud cakes that've really touched the sky!
I got horns that keep the snowcones cold
And horns that fill eclairs
I got horns that stack up pancake stacks
I alway come prepared!
Be prepared, be prepared
And unless you got a spare,
You got one life, so live it up with flair!
Just stay prepared!