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Jax roleplay -> formerly @jax-talks

[jaxx-talks]

Sup. This account was formerly @jax-talks , but some bastard scammer deleted all my shit. So we're trying again.

Blog takes place post episode 8 but pre [Episode 9 Event]

Content disclaimer: MOD is a minor -> 17! This blog is PG-13! Jax may use strong language, make (fake) threats of violence, or include sexual jokes and/or innuendos. Regarding that last one, nothing will be graphically depicted, although, he may reference past experiences or make jokes about his sexuality. Don't like it, don't interact! Plus, you're free to block with no given reason.

Btw, "OOC:" will be used when the person behind the account is talking.

If you have a roleplay blog and would like to roleplay you can DM me and we can talk about it, I'm willing to do just about anything!

Other important things:

Headcanons

Zooble: @mixnmatch-zoobs

My other blogs:

@what-the-actualhell (main)

@abel-sonofadam

@luci-kingof-hell

@loser-angeldust

@alastortheradio-demon

@fizzy-roli

@k0kich1-0uma

@pimp-overlord-val

@vill-populi

@lucifer-godsfavorite

@kaz-ultimate-mechanic

@voxteks-vox

@trixntricks (hh oc)

@best-radio-host (human Alastor)

@literally-tweaking

@cursed-mccormick

@lubb-bub

@sal-ghost

[jaxx-talks]

PE9

No, bc why is 99℅ of the posts I'm seeing on here rn all me as a girl....Like, I like it, but uhhh....there's other shit I wanna see too Tumblr. Just sayin'.

[ask-the-fishdick-deactivated201]

REBLOG IF IT IS OKAY TO COME INTO YOUR INBOX AND SAY THE RANDOMEST SHIT I CAN THINK OF BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU.

[therian-offical]

Woof

[jaxx-talks]

almost everyone was asleep, Cain is gone everything is falling apart, and Zooble is just there. They sat alone on the edge of a floating platform, staring out into the endless void. many of their body parts were scattered around them abandoned like they hadn't even bothered putting themselves back together and for once, they weren't complaining they weren't rolling their eyes they weren't snapping at anyone they just sat there. Silent. Still. their fingers traced patterns along the edge of the platform as they stared into the darkness

..Do you ever wonder if we're gonna be stuck here forever?

the question came out so quietly it was almost swallowed by the space around them then zooble let out a weak laugh

Actually, don't answer that. I already know the answer, every day feels exactly the same, same circus, same adventures, same walls and they pause, ...same me..

their gaze seemed to drift to one of the detached pieces lying nearby.

everyone else seems to be figuring out how to deal with this place even if they're miserable but I can't

they looked genuinely exhausted not physically. just... tired, tired of existing in a place that never changed, tired of waking up, tired of pretending they were okay Zooble rubbed at their eyes before quickly looking away, so that Jax wouldn't notice the tears forming in their eyes

...Sorry. Ignore me I guess I'm just having one of those days where pretending doesn't work anymore.

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Jax is silent for moment, his pupils wide and his expression blank as he stares into the void.

...I get it, it's..hard to pretend all the time. But...we're working on it, right?..Don't gotta pretend...with each other...

He pauses, then after another moment, he let's out a soft sigh before flopping his head down onto Zooble's shoulder.

You'll find something eventually, Zoobs..You've..got a better hold on yourself in this place than I do...even through your hardships..you figure it out eventually..

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble froze. Not because of the words said but who they were coming from they turned their head, staring at him like he'd suddenly started speaking an entirely different language. For once there wasn't some smug grin waiting to reveal the joke. No punchline. No prank. Just Jax and a empty sympathetic face. Yet somehow that made the words hit even harder. for a moment they just stared until Zooble looked back out into the void.

You really think I have a hold on myself? A small, humorless laugh escaped them. Jax, half the time I spend every adventure wishing I could just disappear until it's over.

Their gaze dropped to the detached pieces scattered around them.

I don't figure things out. I just keep going because...what else am I supposed to do?

For a moment neither of them spoke. Then Zooble felt the weight of jaxs head against their shoulder and tensed instinctively before slowly relaxing again.

you know you suck at this...he paused...but thanks..

You don't always have to be on edge either. You know that, right? Their expression tightened slightly. I mean... if anybody gets how exhausting that is, it's me.

..And for the record, if you tell anyone I said something nice to you, I'll deny it.

Despite themselves, a faint smile tugged at the corner of their mouth.

A better hold on myself than you, though? That's a pretty low bar, bunny.

[jaxx-talks]

I know..

He mutters, finding it hard to crack even the slightest smile despite anything Zooble said. Although, now that Caine is gone, and the illusion had fallen, and everything is falling apart, Jax was finding it hard to keep up his own illusion, to trick his own mind, to keep himself...okay. Alive.

...What do you do if you can't pretend anymore? If no matter how hard you try...you've just lost the willpower to even do so much as pretend...If the illusion you've conviced yourself of is shattered, and you don't know how to keep pretending without it..?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble's expression fell. Not because the question surprised them it didn't decause somewhere deep down, they'd been asking themselves the same thing for longer than they wanted to admit. and for once, they didn't immediately answer. The silince stretched endlessly before them as they searched for words that didn't feel fake.

i-....I don't know.. Their voice was barely above a whisper. I think that's the part nobody talks about. Zooble pulled one leg closer to their chest.

Everyone always says things get better. Keep going. Stay hopeful. or whatever...dut nobody ever tells you what you're supposed to do in the moment when you're just...empt Their fingers tightened around their knee. When the thing that was keeping you moving breaks or leaves, when your will falls apart, when the person you live hates you..

They glanced over at Jax. I don't think pretending is the answer.. maybe it never was, I think that's why it hurts so much now...because pretending worked. Until it didn't.. I don't think you're supposed to immediately replace the illusion with another one.. I think you're just supposed to...deal with the fact that it broke

they look away but nudge jax But you're still here...im still here.. Maybe not okay, maybe not pretending, maybe not even sure why...but were here..

the words came out quite, hushed like a secret but they weren't som magic solution...Just a fact. And I think that's enough for right now. they say laying back and staring into the darkness.

Just don't make yourself carry it alone alright ...You spent all this time acting like nobody could get close enough to see you falling apart maybe let somebody stay this time let them see..mm don't push m- them away..

[jaxx-talks]

Jax watches Zooble lay back then looks down into the void, staying silent for a long while, thinking about Zoobles words, the things he's done, the things he regrets doing that pushed him into the hole he'd been falling in for God knows how long it'd been..He doesn't want that to happen again. He doesn't want to lose Zooble like he lost..her..But even with opening up to Zooble more, and getting closer to them..he's still finding it hard in the back of his mind not to start pushing himself away..However, he is trying..

...I still don't understand how you could possibly like me...But..you make trying to survive here a little easier...

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble was quiet for a long time after Jax said that. Not because they didn't have an answer. but because they did. And it was harder to say than anything else they'd admitted tonight. They stare out into the void, their expression unreadable.

...That's the thing, Jax. Their voice came out soft, carefully, well thought out. I don't think you see yourself the way everyone else does...You spend so much time assuming people only see the worst parts of you that you forget there's more there.....They picked at a loose seam on one of their arms. Yeah, you're a jerk.....You annoy everybody... You're probably responsible for half my hheadachesa long pause But that's not all you are...

For the first time, Zooble turned fully toward him. I've seen you...not the version you put on for everyone else...but the version that's scared, the version that keeps waiting for people to leave, the version that thinks if he pushes everyone away first, it'll hurt less when they eventually disappear....

Zooble swallowed.

And honestly? I get it...maybe not in exactly the same way but I do... You keep asking why I would like you...but you never stop to ask why I wouldn't....

for a second the world seemed to stop everything fell silent then after a moment, Zooble leaned back beside him again.

I won't pretend you've never hurt people...that you've never hurt me..You have and you've made some pretty terrible choices but that's not the same thing as being unlikable...believe it or not, being a disaster doesn't automatically make you impossible to care about....

zobbles voice cracked showing a sign of emotion finally

You keep talking about losing everyone...and maybe someday we will...

But I'm still here

one simple phrase, no grand speech, no promises they couldn't keep, just the truth.

And every time you decide to stay instead of running....I'm glad you did..i smile more I cry more...i...

For a moment, Zooble hesitated. then, carefully, awkwardly, they rested their head against his because they didn't know what to say but sometimes being there is all youcan do and sometimes that has to be enough...

[jaxx-talks]

Jax doesn't respond after that. He's not sure what to day anymore. He could say a lot. He could do a lot. But right now....

Instead of saying anything, the tears that had been building for way too long finally fall from his eyes. And before he can think about what he's doing, because he wouldn't do anything for he did, he turns to hug Zooble tight, his whole body trembling a little as he tries to hold back his sobs.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble stiffens immediately, caught completely off guard by the sudden embrace, and for a second, they simply freeze, their eyes widening as Jax clings to them. But then they feel the trembling, the tears, and whatever instinct they have that tells them to pull away quietly dies they slowly relax. carefully they wrap their arms around Jax in return.

One hand comes up to the back of his head, fingers running lightly through his fur while the other settles firmly between his shoulder blades.. they pull him a little closer, not to make him feel trapped but just enough to let him know he doesn't have to hold himself together anymore..that they were there.

They stay there, no teasing, no eye rolls, no attempts to make him laugh, just quiet, steady hands every now and then their hand moves gently through his fur, a small reminder they they are with him..

[jaxx-talks]

almost everyone was asleep, Cain is gone everything is falling apart, and Zooble is just there. They sat alone on the edge of a floating platform, staring out into the endless void. many of their body parts were scattered around them abandoned like they hadn't even bothered putting themselves back together and for once, they weren't complaining they weren't rolling their eyes they weren't snapping at anyone they just sat there. Silent. Still. their fingers traced patterns along the edge of the platform as they stared into the darkness

..Do you ever wonder if we're gonna be stuck here forever?

the question came out so quietly it was almost swallowed by the space around them then zooble let out a weak laugh

Actually, don't answer that. I already know the answer, every day feels exactly the same, same circus, same adventures, same walls and they pause, ...same me..

their gaze seemed to drift to one of the detached pieces lying nearby.

everyone else seems to be figuring out how to deal with this place even if they're miserable but I can't

they looked genuinely exhausted not physically. just... tired, tired of existing in a place that never changed, tired of waking up, tired of pretending they were okay Zooble rubbed at their eyes before quickly looking away, so that Jax wouldn't notice the tears forming in their eyes

...Sorry. Ignore me I guess I'm just having one of those days where pretending doesn't work anymore.

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Jax is silent for moment, his pupils wide and his expression blank as he stares into the void.

...I get it, it's..hard to pretend all the time. But...we're working on it, right?..Don't gotta pretend...with each other...

He pauses, then after another moment, he let's out a soft sigh before flopping his head down onto Zooble's shoulder.

You'll find something eventually, Zoobs..You've..got a better hold on yourself in this place than I do...even through your hardships..you figure it out eventually..

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble froze. Not because of the words said but who they were coming from they turned their head, staring at him like he'd suddenly started speaking an entirely different language. For once there wasn't some smug grin waiting to reveal the joke. No punchline. No prank. Just Jax and a empty sympathetic face. Yet somehow that made the words hit even harder. for a moment they just stared until Zooble looked back out into the void.

You really think I have a hold on myself? A small, humorless laugh escaped them. Jax, half the time I spend every adventure wishing I could just disappear until it's over.

Their gaze dropped to the detached pieces scattered around them.

I don't figure things out. I just keep going because...what else am I supposed to do?

For a moment neither of them spoke. Then Zooble felt the weight of jaxs head against their shoulder and tensed instinctively before slowly relaxing again.

you know you suck at this...he paused...but thanks..

You don't always have to be on edge either. You know that, right? Their expression tightened slightly. I mean... if anybody gets how exhausting that is, it's me.

..And for the record, if you tell anyone I said something nice to you, I'll deny it.

Despite themselves, a faint smile tugged at the corner of their mouth.

A better hold on myself than you, though? That's a pretty low bar, bunny.

[jaxx-talks]

I know..

He mutters, finding it hard to crack even the slightest smile despite anything Zooble said. Although, now that Caine is gone, and the illusion had fallen, and everything is falling apart, Jax was finding it hard to keep up his own illusion, to trick his own mind, to keep himself...okay. Alive.

...What do you do if you can't pretend anymore? If no matter how hard you try...you've just lost the willpower to even do so much as pretend...If the illusion you've conviced yourself of is shattered, and you don't know how to keep pretending without it..?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble's expression fell. Not because the question surprised them it didn't decause somewhere deep down, they'd been asking themselves the same thing for longer than they wanted to admit. and for once, they didn't immediately answer. The silince stretched endlessly before them as they searched for words that didn't feel fake.

i-....I don't know.. Their voice was barely above a whisper. I think that's the part nobody talks about. Zooble pulled one leg closer to their chest.

Everyone always says things get better. Keep going. Stay hopeful. or whatever...dut nobody ever tells you what you're supposed to do in the moment when you're just...empt Their fingers tightened around their knee. When the thing that was keeping you moving breaks or leaves, when your will falls apart, when the person you live hates you..

They glanced over at Jax. I don't think pretending is the answer.. maybe it never was, I think that's why it hurts so much now...because pretending worked. Until it didn't.. I don't think you're supposed to immediately replace the illusion with another one.. I think you're just supposed to...deal with the fact that it broke

they look away but nudge jax But you're still here...im still here.. Maybe not okay, maybe not pretending, maybe not even sure why...but were here..

the words came out quite, hushed like a secret but they weren't som magic solution...Just a fact. And I think that's enough for right now. they say laying back and staring into the darkness.

Just don't make yourself carry it alone alright ...You spent all this time acting like nobody could get close enough to see you falling apart maybe let somebody stay this time let them see..mm don't push m- them away..

[jaxx-talks]

Jax watches Zooble lay back then looks down into the void, staying silent for a long while, thinking about Zoobles words, the things he's done, the things he regrets doing that pushed him into the hole he'd been falling in for God knows how long it'd been..He doesn't want that to happen again. He doesn't want to lose Zooble like he lost..her..But even with opening up to Zooble more, and getting closer to them..he's still finding it hard in the back of his mind not to start pushing himself away..However, he is trying..

...I still don't understand how you could possibly like me...But..you make trying to survive here a little easier...

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble was quiet for a long time after Jax said that. Not because they didn't have an answer. but because they did. And it was harder to say than anything else they'd admitted tonight. They stare out into the void, their expression unreadable.

...That's the thing, Jax. Their voice came out soft, carefully, well thought out. I don't think you see yourself the way everyone else does...You spend so much time assuming people only see the worst parts of you that you forget there's more there.....They picked at a loose seam on one of their arms. Yeah, you're a jerk.....You annoy everybody... You're probably responsible for half my hheadachesa long pause But that's not all you are...

For the first time, Zooble turned fully toward him. I've seen you...not the version you put on for everyone else...but the version that's scared, the version that keeps waiting for people to leave, the version that thinks if he pushes everyone away first, it'll hurt less when they eventually disappear....

Zooble swallowed.

And honestly? I get it...maybe not in exactly the same way but I do... You keep asking why I would like you...but you never stop to ask why I wouldn't....

for a second the world seemed to stop everything fell silent then after a moment, Zooble leaned back beside him again.

I won't pretend you've never hurt people...that you've never hurt me..You have and you've made some pretty terrible choices but that's not the same thing as being unlikable...believe it or not, being a disaster doesn't automatically make you impossible to care about....

zobbles voice cracked showing a sign of emotion finally

You keep talking about losing everyone...and maybe someday we will...

But I'm still here

one simple phrase, no grand speech, no promises they couldn't keep, just the truth.

And every time you decide to stay instead of running....I'm glad you did..i smile more I cry more...i...

For a moment, Zooble hesitated. then, carefully, awkwardly, they rested their head against his because they didn't know what to say but sometimes being there is all youcan do and sometimes that has to be enough...

[jaxx-talks]

Jax doesn't respond after that. He's not sure what to day anymore. He could say a lot. He could do a lot. But right now....

Instead of saying anything, the tears that had been building for way too long finally fall from his eyes. And before he can think about what he's doing, because he wouldn't do anything for he did, he turns to hug Zooble tight, his whole body trembling a little as he tries to hold back his sobs.

[jaxx-talks]

Jax headcanons:

This is long overdue, so here is my post for my Jax headcanons ✨ More will be added as I think of them.

Reminder that this blog takes place after episode 8, but before episode 9.

Headcanons:

Blog/Au Time Period/Lore: The time period of the blog will sit post episode 9. However, currently, there may be a couple of events/roleplays that happen before it sits post episode 9, so until that happens, it sits post episode 8 and pre Jax abstraction in episode 9. As far the lore goes, it all depends on how roleplays go. But I have two options, either Jax comes out to Zooble, and they keep him from abstracting. Or, Zooble somehow finds a way to bring Jax back from abstraction (in which he'll come out after coming back).

Jax canonically being trans: I don't see him as transfem, but I definitely feel that, based on still having a male presenting name irl, plus his unisex type look, Jax is genderfluid or demi-gender, rather than trans mtf, because (obviously) you can be trans and dress feminine without completly switching genders, as trans is an umbrella term, and completly being female doesn't feel right for Jax's character, especially how I present him, rather, to me, genderfluid feels right. Additionally; Since I mentioned Leeroy, I see him using the nickname "Lee" more times than his actual name, which he'd only really use if he's feeling especially masculine.

Relationships:

Gangle: He likes messing with her, because he sees his weaknesses in her, and takes a more joking approach to treating her how he was treated for his weaknesses.

Zooble: He has a crush on them as much as he tries to push it down and ignore it, but Zooble is slowly helping him open up again, and helping him to accept his feelings, and accept his faults.

Kinger: He doesn't mind him, however he doesn't understand how no one is mad at him for deleting Caine and making the circus what it is now. He also used to like him quite a bit.

Ragatha: He used to be great friends with her, until he lost Ribbit. Then she reminded him too much of the part of Ribbit he avoided.

Pomni: He likes her (as a really good friend), but she reminds him too much of Ribbit, so he has a hard time actually talking to her sometimes, and can't bare to actually open up to her, as much as he knows she wants him to. So he tries to push her away as much as he can. (He did the same with Zooble until they talked it out.)

Caine: He has a deep seated hatred towards him, but is also acutely aware of the power he held over them, leading him to also hold a little fear towards him.

Bubble: He finds Bubble to be weird and annoying.

Kaufmo: He was one of his best friends until he started pushing away from everyone. He regrets that now, and misses him a lot.

Ribbit: Self explanatory in episode 9. (I don't feel like typing all that out, and I really don't have anything else to add to their relationship.)

[jaxx-talks]

almost everyone was asleep, Cain is gone everything is falling apart, and Zooble is just there. They sat alone on the edge of a floating platform, staring out into the endless void. many of their body parts were scattered around them abandoned like they hadn't even bothered putting themselves back together and for once, they weren't complaining they weren't rolling their eyes they weren't snapping at anyone they just sat there. Silent. Still. their fingers traced patterns along the edge of the platform as they stared into the darkness

..Do you ever wonder if we're gonna be stuck here forever?

the question came out so quietly it was almost swallowed by the space around them then zooble let out a weak laugh

Actually, don't answer that. I already know the answer, every day feels exactly the same, same circus, same adventures, same walls and they pause, ...same me..

their gaze seemed to drift to one of the detached pieces lying nearby.

everyone else seems to be figuring out how to deal with this place even if they're miserable but I can't

they looked genuinely exhausted not physically. just... tired, tired of existing in a place that never changed, tired of waking up, tired of pretending they were okay Zooble rubbed at their eyes before quickly looking away, so that Jax wouldn't notice the tears forming in their eyes

...Sorry. Ignore me I guess I'm just having one of those days where pretending doesn't work anymore.

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Jax is silent for moment, his pupils wide and his expression blank as he stares into the void.

...I get it, it's..hard to pretend all the time. But...we're working on it, right?..Don't gotta pretend...with each other...

He pauses, then after another moment, he let's out a soft sigh before flopping his head down onto Zooble's shoulder.

You'll find something eventually, Zoobs..You've..got a better hold on yourself in this place than I do...even through your hardships..you figure it out eventually..

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble froze. Not because of the words said but who they were coming from they turned their head, staring at him like he'd suddenly started speaking an entirely different language. For once there wasn't some smug grin waiting to reveal the joke. No punchline. No prank. Just Jax and a empty sympathetic face. Yet somehow that made the words hit even harder. for a moment they just stared until Zooble looked back out into the void.

You really think I have a hold on myself? A small, humorless laugh escaped them. Jax, half the time I spend every adventure wishing I could just disappear until it's over.

Their gaze dropped to the detached pieces scattered around them.

I don't figure things out. I just keep going because...what else am I supposed to do?

For a moment neither of them spoke. Then Zooble felt the weight of jaxs head against their shoulder and tensed instinctively before slowly relaxing again.

you know you suck at this...he paused...but thanks..

You don't always have to be on edge either. You know that, right? Their expression tightened slightly. I mean... if anybody gets how exhausting that is, it's me.

..And for the record, if you tell anyone I said something nice to you, I'll deny it.

Despite themselves, a faint smile tugged at the corner of their mouth.

A better hold on myself than you, though? That's a pretty low bar, bunny.

[jaxx-talks]

I know..

He mutters, finding it hard to crack even the slightest smile despite anything Zooble said. Although, now that Caine is gone, and the illusion had fallen, and everything is falling apart, Jax was finding it hard to keep up his own illusion, to trick his own mind, to keep himself...okay. Alive.

...What do you do if you can't pretend anymore? If no matter how hard you try...you've just lost the willpower to even do so much as pretend...If the illusion you've conviced yourself of is shattered, and you don't know how to keep pretending without it..?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble's expression fell. Not because the question surprised them it didn't decause somewhere deep down, they'd been asking themselves the same thing for longer than they wanted to admit. and for once, they didn't immediately answer. The silince stretched endlessly before them as they searched for words that didn't feel fake.

i-....I don't know.. Their voice was barely above a whisper. I think that's the part nobody talks about. Zooble pulled one leg closer to their chest.

Everyone always says things get better. Keep going. Stay hopeful. or whatever...dut nobody ever tells you what you're supposed to do in the moment when you're just...empt Their fingers tightened around their knee. When the thing that was keeping you moving breaks or leaves, when your will falls apart, when the person you live hates you..

They glanced over at Jax. I don't think pretending is the answer.. maybe it never was, I think that's why it hurts so much now...because pretending worked. Until it didn't.. I don't think you're supposed to immediately replace the illusion with another one.. I think you're just supposed to...deal with the fact that it broke

they look away but nudge jax But you're still here...im still here.. Maybe not okay, maybe not pretending, maybe not even sure why...but were here..

the words came out quite, hushed like a secret but they weren't som magic solution...Just a fact. And I think that's enough for right now. they say laying back and staring into the darkness.

Just don't make yourself carry it alone alright ...You spent all this time acting like nobody could get close enough to see you falling apart maybe let somebody stay this time let them see..mm don't push m- them away..

[jaxx-talks]

Jax watches Zooble lay back then looks down into the void, staying silent for a long while, thinking about Zoobles words, the things he's done, the things he regrets doing that pushed him into the hole he'd been falling in for God knows how long it'd been..He doesn't want that to happen again. He doesn't want to lose Zooble like he lost..her..But even with opening up to Zooble more, and getting closer to them..he's still finding it hard in the back of his mind not to start pushing himself away..However, he is trying..

...I still don't understand how you could possibly like me...But..you make trying to survive here a little easier...

[jaxx-talks]

almost everyone was asleep, Cain is gone everything is falling apart, and Zooble is just there. They sat alone on the edge of a floating platform, staring out into the endless void. many of their body parts were scattered around them abandoned like they hadn't even bothered putting themselves back together and for once, they weren't complaining they weren't rolling their eyes they weren't snapping at anyone they just sat there. Silent. Still. their fingers traced patterns along the edge of the platform as they stared into the darkness

..Do you ever wonder if we're gonna be stuck here forever?

the question came out so quietly it was almost swallowed by the space around them then zooble let out a weak laugh

Actually, don't answer that. I already know the answer, every day feels exactly the same, same circus, same adventures, same walls and they pause, ...same me..

their gaze seemed to drift to one of the detached pieces lying nearby.

everyone else seems to be figuring out how to deal with this place even if they're miserable but I can't

they looked genuinely exhausted not physically. just... tired, tired of existing in a place that never changed, tired of waking up, tired of pretending they were okay Zooble rubbed at their eyes before quickly looking away, so that Jax wouldn't notice the tears forming in their eyes

...Sorry. Ignore me I guess I'm just having one of those days where pretending doesn't work anymore.

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Jax is silent for moment, his pupils wide and his expression blank as he stares into the void.

...I get it, it's..hard to pretend all the time. But...we're working on it, right?..Don't gotta pretend...with each other...

He pauses, then after another moment, he let's out a soft sigh before flopping his head down onto Zooble's shoulder.

You'll find something eventually, Zoobs..You've..got a better hold on yourself in this place than I do...even through your hardships..you figure it out eventually..

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

Zooble froze. Not because of the words said but who they were coming from they turned their head, staring at him like he'd suddenly started speaking an entirely different language. For once there wasn't some smug grin waiting to reveal the joke. No punchline. No prank. Just Jax and a empty sympathetic face. Yet somehow that made the words hit even harder. for a moment they just stared until Zooble looked back out into the void.

You really think I have a hold on myself? A small, humorless laugh escaped them. Jax, half the time I spend every adventure wishing I could just disappear until it's over.

Their gaze dropped to the detached pieces scattered around them.

I don't figure things out. I just keep going because...what else am I supposed to do?

For a moment neither of them spoke. Then Zooble felt the weight of jaxs head against their shoulder and tensed instinctively before slowly relaxing again.

you know you suck at this...he paused...but thanks..

You don't always have to be on edge either. You know that, right? Their expression tightened slightly. I mean... if anybody gets how exhausting that is, it's me.

..And for the record, if you tell anyone I said something nice to you, I'll deny it.

Despite themselves, a faint smile tugged at the corner of their mouth.

A better hold on myself than you, though? That's a pretty low bar, bunny.

[jaxx-talks]

I know..

He mutters, finding it hard to crack even the slightest smile despite anything Zooble said. Although, now that Caine is gone, and the illusion had fallen, and everything is falling apart, Jax was finding it hard to keep up his own illusion, to trick his own mind, to keep himself...okay. Alive.

...What do you do if you can't pretend anymore? If no matter how hard you try...you've just lost the willpower to even do so much as pretend...If the illusion you've conviced yourself of is shattered, and you don't know how to keep pretending without it..?

[jaxx-talks]

Hi again!

Sorry to hear about that hack shit.. uh.. throw back to thomas? how do u think about him

Uh.....Yeah, I dunno, he's still weird.

[jaxx-talks]

almost everyone was asleep, Cain is gone everything is falling apart, and Zooble is just there. They sat alone on the edge of a floating platform, staring out into the endless void. many of their body parts were scattered around them abandoned like they hadn't even bothered putting themselves back together and for once, they weren't complaining they weren't rolling their eyes they weren't snapping at anyone they just sat there. Silent. Still. their fingers traced patterns along the edge of the platform as they stared into the darkness

..Do you ever wonder if we're gonna be stuck here forever?

the question came out so quietly it was almost swallowed by the space around them then zooble let out a weak laugh

Actually, don't answer that. I already know the answer, every day feels exactly the same, same circus, same adventures, same walls and they pause, ...same me..

their gaze seemed to drift to one of the detached pieces lying nearby.

everyone else seems to be figuring out how to deal with this place even if they're miserable but I can't

they looked genuinely exhausted not physically. just... tired, tired of existing in a place that never changed, tired of waking up, tired of pretending they were okay Zooble rubbed at their eyes before quickly looking away, so that Jax wouldn't notice the tears forming in their eyes

...Sorry. Ignore me I guess I'm just having one of those days where pretending doesn't work anymore.

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Jax is silent for moment, his pupils wide and his expression blank as he stares into the void.

...I get it, it's..hard to pretend all the time. But...we're working on it, right?..Don't gotta pretend...with each other...

He pauses, then after another moment, he let's out a soft sigh before flopping his head down onto Zooble's shoulder.

You'll find something eventually, Zoobs..You've..got a better hold on yourself in this place than I do...even through your hardships..you figure it out eventually..

[jaxx-talks]

Decision making after watching episode nine:

Blog will be post episode 8 but pre episode 9

[jaxx-talks]

OOC: cuz I'm bored and have nothing better to do

The day after their talk zooble walks up to Just wanting to chat but also not really knowing what to say.

Hey jax..

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Hey, Zoobs.

Jax says simply, looking at Zooble as they walk in.

You need something? Or you just wanna chill?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

uh..yeah just chill or something...idk..

[jaxx-talks]

Well...you got anything to talk about?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shakes his head not really sure what to talk about or even why he left his room

not really..

[jaxx-talks]

Hm...Well there really isn't much to talk about now, huh? With everything kinda...gone..

(they)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah...not really ig...

[jaxx-talks]

..Well..we can make some stuff?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah probably....uhm....mm idk I don't know how to do this..

[jaxx-talks]

Uhhmm...Hmm...I found a turtle earlier.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

oh yeah?

[jaxx-talks]

Yeah, it fell off a block, into a smaller block, then flung itself into the void of a ceiling we've got here. I named him Don before he did that. But I'm not sure he'll fall back down.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

huh, who knows with everything glitching he might get to be something that stays

[jaxx-talks]

Hmm..Yeah, maybe. Honestly, kinda hope so. He was cute.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble nods slightly

turtles normally are mm so are Bunny's idk what happened to you

[jaxx-talks]

Oh fuck you.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble laughs a bit seemingly enjoying himself

whatt all I said was the truth

[jaxx-talks]

Okay, listen, I may not be cute, but I am still..uh..Beautiful or something.

(THEM)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

eh could be better

[jaxx-talks]

Well so could you, you...uh.....yeahh....

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

thats quite offensive I like my chaotic look, hm this is really random but like you know how I scared Cain withtsaying u wanted to be able to have sex? you think we could now that everything is falling apart?

[jaxx-talks]

...If we have those parts-? I don't have that shit-

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

hm well I could probably give myself some if I really wanted.....but

[jaxx-talks]

But?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shrugs

not really a reson too

[jaxx-talks]

True.....

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

I know everyone is so worried about what's going on and all..and canes gone now..but mn I can't help but miss the chaios honestly...i think its the not knowing what's gonna happen and having nothing quote on quote normal

[jaxx-talks]

No, that's fair...

[jaxx-talks]

OOC: cuz I'm bored and have nothing better to do

The day after their talk zooble walks up to Just wanting to chat but also not really knowing what to say.

Hey jax..

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Hey, Zoobs.

Jax says simply, looking at Zooble as they walk in.

You need something? Or you just wanna chill?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

uh..yeah just chill or something...idk..

[jaxx-talks]

Well...you got anything to talk about?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shakes his head not really sure what to talk about or even why he left his room

not really..

[jaxx-talks]

Hm...Well there really isn't much to talk about now, huh? With everything kinda...gone..

(they)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah...not really ig...

[jaxx-talks]

..Well..we can make some stuff?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah probably....uhm....mm idk I don't know how to do this..

[jaxx-talks]

Uhhmm...Hmm...I found a turtle earlier.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

oh yeah?

[jaxx-talks]

Yeah, it fell off a block, into a smaller block, then flung itself into the void of a ceiling we've got here. I named him Don before he did that. But I'm not sure he'll fall back down.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

huh, who knows with everything glitching he might get to be something that stays

[jaxx-talks]

Hmm..Yeah, maybe. Honestly, kinda hope so. He was cute.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble nods slightly

turtles normally are mm so are Bunny's idk what happened to you

[jaxx-talks]

Oh fuck you.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble laughs a bit seemingly enjoying himself

whatt all I said was the truth

[jaxx-talks]

Okay, listen, I may not be cute, but I am still..uh..Beautiful or something.

(THEM)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

eh could be better

[jaxx-talks]

Well so could you, you...uh.....yeahh....

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

thats quite offensive I like my chaotic look, hm this is really random but like you know how I scared Cain withtsaying u wanted to be able to have sex? you think we could now that everything is falling apart?

[jaxx-talks]

...If we have those parts-? I don't have that shit-

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

hm well I could probably give myself some if I really wanted.....but

[jaxx-talks]

But?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shrugs

not really a reson too

[jaxx-talks]

True.....

[jaxx-talks]

OOC: cuz I'm bored and have nothing better to do

The day after their talk zooble walks up to Just wanting to chat but also not really knowing what to say.

Hey jax..

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Hey, Zoobs.

Jax says simply, looking at Zooble as they walk in.

You need something? Or you just wanna chill?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

uh..yeah just chill or something...idk..

[jaxx-talks]

Well...you got anything to talk about?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shakes his head not really sure what to talk about or even why he left his room

not really..

[jaxx-talks]

Hm...Well there really isn't much to talk about now, huh? With everything kinda...gone..

(they)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah...not really ig...

[jaxx-talks]

..Well..we can make some stuff?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah probably....uhm....mm idk I don't know how to do this..

[jaxx-talks]

Uhhmm...Hmm...I found a turtle earlier.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

oh yeah?

[jaxx-talks]

Yeah, it fell off a block, into a smaller block, then flung itself into the void of a ceiling we've got here. I named him Don before he did that. But I'm not sure he'll fall back down.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

huh, who knows with everything glitching he might get to be something that stays

[jaxx-talks]

Hmm..Yeah, maybe. Honestly, kinda hope so. He was cute.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble nods slightly

turtles normally are mm so are Bunny's idk what happened to you

[jaxx-talks]

Oh fuck you.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble laughs a bit seemingly enjoying himself

whatt all I said was the truth

[jaxx-talks]

Okay, listen, I may not be cute, but I am still..uh..Beautiful or something.

(THEM)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

eh could be better

[jaxx-talks]

Well so could you, you...uh.....yeahh....

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

thats quite offensive I like my chaotic look, hm this is really random but like you know how I scared Cain withtsaying u wanted to be able to have sex? you think we could now that everything is falling apart?

[jaxx-talks]

...If we have those parts-? I don't have that shit-

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

hm well I could probably give myself some if I really wanted.....but

[jaxx-talks]

But?

[jaxx-talks]

OOC: cuz I'm bored and have nothing better to do

The day after their talk zooble walks up to Just wanting to chat but also not really knowing what to say.

Hey jax..

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Hey, Zoobs.

Jax says simply, looking at Zooble as they walk in.

You need something? Or you just wanna chill?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

uh..yeah just chill or something...idk..

[jaxx-talks]

Well...you got anything to talk about?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shakes his head not really sure what to talk about or even why he left his room

not really..

[jaxx-talks]

Hm...Well there really isn't much to talk about now, huh? With everything kinda...gone..

(they)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah...not really ig...

[jaxx-talks]

..Well..we can make some stuff?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah probably....uhm....mm idk I don't know how to do this..

[jaxx-talks]

Uhhmm...Hmm...I found a turtle earlier.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

oh yeah?

[jaxx-talks]

Yeah, it fell off a block, into a smaller block, then flung itself into the void of a ceiling we've got here. I named him Don before he did that. But I'm not sure he'll fall back down.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

huh, who knows with everything glitching he might get to be something that stays

[jaxx-talks]

Hmm..Yeah, maybe. Honestly, kinda hope so. He was cute.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble nods slightly

turtles normally are mm so are Bunny's idk what happened to you

[jaxx-talks]

Oh fuck you.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble laughs a bit seemingly enjoying himself

whatt all I said was the truth

[jaxx-talks]

Okay, listen, I may not be cute, but I am still..uh..Beautiful or something.

(THEM)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

eh could be better

[jaxx-talks]

Well so could you, you...uh.....yeahh....

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

thats quite offensive I like my chaotic look, hm this is really random but like you know how I scared Cain withtsaying u wanted to be able to have sex? you think we could now that everything is falling apart?

[jaxx-talks]

...If we have those parts-? I don't have that shit-

[jaxx-talks]

OOC: cuz I'm bored and have nothing better to do

The day after their talk zooble walks up to Just wanting to chat but also not really knowing what to say.

Hey jax..

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Hey, Zoobs.

Jax says simply, looking at Zooble as they walk in.

You need something? Or you just wanna chill?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

uh..yeah just chill or something...idk..

[jaxx-talks]

Well...you got anything to talk about?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shakes his head not really sure what to talk about or even why he left his room

not really..

[jaxx-talks]

Hm...Well there really isn't much to talk about now, huh? With everything kinda...gone..

(they)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah...not really ig...

[jaxx-talks]

..Well..we can make some stuff?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah probably....uhm....mm idk I don't know how to do this..

[jaxx-talks]

Uhhmm...Hmm...I found a turtle earlier.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

oh yeah?

[jaxx-talks]

Yeah, it fell off a block, into a smaller block, then flung itself into the void of a ceiling we've got here. I named him Don before he did that. But I'm not sure he'll fall back down.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

huh, who knows with everything glitching he might get to be something that stays

[jaxx-talks]

Hmm..Yeah, maybe. Honestly, kinda hope so. He was cute.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble nods slightly

turtles normally are mm so are Bunny's idk what happened to you

[jaxx-talks]

Oh fuck you.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble laughs a bit seemingly enjoying himself

whatt all I said was the truth

[jaxx-talks]

Okay, listen, I may not be cute, but I am still..uh..Beautiful or something.

(THEM)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

eh could be better

[jaxx-talks]

Well so could you, you...uh.....yeahh....

[jaxx-talks]

OOC: cuz I'm bored and have nothing better to do

The day after their talk zooble walks up to Just wanting to chat but also not really knowing what to say.

Hey jax..

@mixnmatch-zoobs

Hey, Zoobs.

Jax says simply, looking at Zooble as they walk in.

You need something? Or you just wanna chill?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

uh..yeah just chill or something...idk..

[jaxx-talks]

Well...you got anything to talk about?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble shakes his head not really sure what to talk about or even why he left his room

not really..

[jaxx-talks]

Hm...Well there really isn't much to talk about now, huh? With everything kinda...gone..

(they)

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah...not really ig...

[jaxx-talks]

..Well..we can make some stuff?

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

yeah probably....uhm....mm idk I don't know how to do this..

[jaxx-talks]

Uhhmm...Hmm...I found a turtle earlier.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

oh yeah?

[jaxx-talks]

Yeah, it fell off a block, into a smaller block, then flung itself into the void of a ceiling we've got here. I named him Don before he did that. But I'm not sure he'll fall back down.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

huh, who knows with everything glitching he might get to be something that stays

[jaxx-talks]

Hmm..Yeah, maybe. Honestly, kinda hope so. He was cute.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble nods slightly

turtles normally are mm so are Bunny's idk what happened to you

[jaxx-talks]

Oh fuck you.

[mixnmatch-zoobs]

zooble laughs a bit seemingly enjoying himself

whatt all I said was the truth

[jaxx-talks]

Okay, listen, I may not be cute, but I am still..uh..Beautiful or something.

(THEM)