I post short Soukoku stories,
Random headcanons for stories, and fanfictions,
I've also been posting MagnetMirror things as well.
(Watch Dragon Striker).
And I have like one Shin Soukoku fic.
I also post random thoughts of mine.
Banner art by lotus-pear, here on Tumblr.
Profile by chronocherry, I think, again, from here.
It was a familiar mantra Casper had been telling himself since he was four years old listening to his father trying to explain to him that sometimes people went to sleep and they didn’t wake up.
The mantra rarely worked.
Casper rarely felt ‘fine’.
Especially recently.
He’d had a rough start of it, breaking up with Odward; if that had been the end of it he could have moved on.
It wasn’t the end of it.
Feeling every nerve in your body burn was bad, like awful, it would have been the worst pain he’d ever felt in his life.
And then he had to deal with the saline baths…
Everyone tried to let him down gently; but he’d been here before, his face was mutilated, and no one ever gave him a straight answer about it.
It was all, ‘you’ll be just fine’, ‘it doesn’t look that bad’, ‘you’re still just as pretty’.
Yeah right.
It had only been like that for about a month, a friend of his, Ray, and given him some weird magic water, no more scar for him.
Except the phantom pain didn’t heal so easily.
Sometimes if he was out in sunlight for too long he could still feel the burning in his face.
And he’d had a bit of trouble forcing himself to bathe the first couple weeks.
It was fine, he was fine.
Except things had only gotten much worse.
A body control leech, and letting Key run off like that, Odward might have died out in Mestras.
It was all bubbling up, and he just felt… scared, and alone, and he didn’t know what to do.
*falco keeps getting gifts sent to him. every single time they're all a flower of some sort, but flowers with nothing in common...all very random ones. some of them are even weeds. the sender clearly knows absolutely nothing about flowers. one of them came with a card that had a little heart scribbled on it.*
(they're from @numberonegorotamafan btw but falco doesn't need to know that shhh)
Falco is very confused by these flowers. There was no way he still had that many fans, and the Roses weren’t the kind of people who sent gifts to teammates.
And there was no way Key knew he liked flowers, right…?
Key's in Falco's room again. He's been staying in the hospital, but he wasn't allowed to stay in the same room as him.
He stayed in the waiting room, sleeping restlessly in one of the uncomfortable chairs. The moment the sun came up, he found himself back in Falco's room.
He stares at the flowers, an unreadable emotion on his face. "That's um. A lot of flowers. Do you like any of them...?"
He feels so silly. Why is he so nervous over this? It's not a big deal. They're just flowers. Getting flowers for someone in the hospital is normal, right?
At least Falco kept them. That must be a good sign, right?
“They are all very beautiful.” He’s not lying there; he loves them. But what he doesn’t have the heart to tell Key is that he knows who they’re from. It makes his heart soar just thinking about the fact Key loves him that much.
He smiles shyly. "I know a lot about vegetables, but I don't actually know anything about flowers though. I'd like to learn though! I've been trying to learn more."
For you. He doesn't say it, but the unspoken words still linger in the air.
*falco keeps getting gifts sent to him. every single time they're all a flower of some sort, but flowers with nothing in common...all very random ones. some of them are even weeds. the sender clearly knows absolutely nothing about flowers. one of them came with a card that had a little heart scribbled on it.*
(they're from @numberonegorotamafan btw but falco doesn't need to know that shhh)
Falco is very confused by these flowers. There was no way he still had that many fans, and the Roses weren’t the kind of people who sent gifts to teammates.
And there was no way Key knew he liked flowers, right…?
Key's in Falco's room again. He's been staying in the hospital, but he wasn't allowed to stay in the same room as him.
He stayed in the waiting room, sleeping restlessly in one of the uncomfortable chairs. The moment the sun came up, he found himself back in Falco's room.
He stares at the flowers, an unreadable emotion on his face. "That's um. A lot of flowers. Do you like any of them...?"
He feels so silly. Why is he so nervous over this? It's not a big deal. They're just flowers. Getting flowers for someone in the hospital is normal, right?
At least Falco kept them. That must be a good sign, right?
“They are all very beautiful.” He’s not lying there; he loves them. But what he doesn’t have the heart to tell Key is that he knows who they’re from. It makes his heart soar just thinking about the fact Key loves him that much.
He smiles shyly. "I know a lot about vegetables, but I don't actually know anything about flowers though. I'd like to learn though! I've been trying to learn more."
For you. He doesn't say it, but the unspoken words still linger in the air.
*falco keeps getting gifts sent to him. every single time they're all a flower of some sort, but flowers with nothing in common...all very random ones. some of them are even weeds. the sender clearly knows absolutely nothing about flowers. one of them came with a card that had a little heart scribbled on it.*
(they're from @numberonegorotamafan btw but falco doesn't need to know that shhh)
Falco is very confused by these flowers. There was no way he still had that many fans, and the Roses weren’t the kind of people who sent gifts to teammates.
And there was no way Key knew he liked flowers, right…?
Key's in Falco's room again. He's been staying in the hospital, but he wasn't allowed to stay in the same room as him.
He stayed in the waiting room, sleeping restlessly in one of the uncomfortable chairs. The moment the sun came up, he found himself back in Falco's room.
He stares at the flowers, an unreadable emotion on his face. "That's um. A lot of flowers. Do you like any of them...?"
He feels so silly. Why is he so nervous over this? It's not a big deal. They're just flowers. Getting flowers for someone in the hospital is normal, right?
At least Falco kept them. That must be a good sign, right?
“They are all very beautiful.” He’s not lying there; he loves them. But what he doesn’t have the heart to tell Key is that he knows who they’re from. It makes his heart soar just thinking about the fact Key loves him that much.
He smiles shyly. "I know a lot about vegetables, but I don't actually know anything about flowers though. I'd like to learn though! I've been trying to learn more."
For you. He doesn't say it, but the unspoken words still linger in the air.
*falco keeps getting gifts sent to him. every single time they're all a flower of some sort, but flowers with nothing in common...all very random ones. some of them are even weeds. the sender clearly knows absolutely nothing about flowers. one of them came with a card that had a little heart scribbled on it.*
(they're from @numberonegorotamafan btw but falco doesn't need to know that shhh)
Falco is very confused by these flowers. There was no way he still had that many fans, and the Roses weren’t the kind of people who sent gifts to teammates.
And there was no way Key knew he liked flowers, right…?
Key's in Falco's room again. He's been staying in the hospital, but he wasn't allowed to stay in the same room as him.
He stayed in the waiting room, sleeping restlessly in one of the uncomfortable chairs. The moment the sun came up, he found himself back in Falco's room.
He stares at the flowers, an unreadable emotion on his face. "That's um. A lot of flowers. Do you like any of them...?"
He feels so silly. Why is he so nervous over this? It's not a big deal. They're just flowers. Getting flowers for someone in the hospital is normal, right?
At least Falco kept them. That must be a good sign, right?
“They are all very beautiful.” He’s not lying there; he loves them. But what he doesn’t have the heart to tell Key is that he knows who they’re from. It makes his heart soar just thinking about the fact Key loves him that much.
He smiles shyly. "I know a lot about vegetables, but I don't actually know anything about flowers though. I'd like to learn though! I've been trying to learn more."
For you. He doesn't say it, but the unspoken words still linger in the air.
I think I got everyone? Blogs the same colour are run by the same person (for my own sake) and characters apart of the same blog have a mark next to their name. The thought is that there's probably a staff member in charge of each cabin (I didn't put Goyen Ansell on there because who knows how healed he will be consider brain injury, and no Goyen O'Gargine because she's on probabtion or something. Something to be discussed with the staff blog runners because I haven't talked to as many of them.)
I kept the characters who don't have a blog on here in case someone makes a blog for them (minus Nyota, that's budbunnen's OC who they've got Something going on with) and plus it might be an interesting background mention.
@jay72664 @numberonegorotamafan
anyways if y'all see any issues here i missed please please let me know.
I think these are good arrangements, I get shenanigans with Key, and shenanigans with Milo, and those were like, my top two picks, the drama with Casper and Key being in the same cabin is going to be fun for me personally, and no one else.
Monster from Epic starts playing in the background.
(Their arcs are similar, trust: Odysseus killed an infant, Casper tried to kill a child. They both looked like they were gonna be good people. And then this happened)
But we have the Dragon Striker roleplay camping trip coming up, and we haven’t decided by min arrangements.
If I’m the only who cares I guess it doesn’t matter.
Am I the only one who cares
No; I care about bunking arrangements
Yes; I don’t think they really matter
Remaining time: 1 day 13 hours
If I’m not the only one who cares, we could have it sorted by year, and gender, of course, Ragno, and any other genderqueer characters are gonna have a tough time with that.
Or we could spin a wheel of about five or six characters, and have then bunk; this would be a good way to force proximity between characters, and more importantly blogs, that wouldn’t otherwise interact.
There’s a bit of a toggle for it, we could make it mandatory that they’re in the same year; or that they’re all in different ones.
If more than just me cares I’ll make a poll to decide; let me know if ya’ll have any other ways.
this had never crossed my mind, but i like the idea of randomizing bunking arrangements. we could probably find an online group maker somewhere? maybe also a little sad if skadi and bau don't bunk together lol. i honestly sort of figured that everyone would just pick who they wanted to room with.
also that brings up another good question imo. are we assuming the characters are going to a campground with some sort of small cabins. or are they using tents. i figured tents but. who knows.
we could also use other activites to force proximity between blogs. i know naledi mentioned that they would randomly sort groups for boating/kayaking/canoeing/whichever activity it was back in her day
ooc: just a thought but we could have The People Of The Internet tell us who they want to see interact? or not i don't really mind
minor thing though if people end up sharing tents/cabins/whatever we're doing falco and key ideally should be separated for a thing we have planned if it's not too much trouble to arrange that sorry lol
I did think about having THE PEOPLE decide (why am I being so grandios about it?), but I feel like that would be really hard, and I wouldn’t know how to do that; there are like forty people, and so I wouldn’t know what to do.
And yeah, we can totally have the separated, if we decide to randomize it I could just… rig it.
i did in fact do a randomizer to see what it would spit out… not a single couple was put together lol
i was going to make some adjustments based off of the randomizer so that blogs run by the same person weren’t put together and send out the tentative list for some thoughts?
sorry i didn't get this out last night, we had ritualistic sacrifices to handle
anyways
uhhh tw: suicidal thoughts? implied suicidal thoughts? i don't know. definitely some darker thoughts cause uh. key ain't doing too well. he doesn't plan to act on those thoughts (nor do i think he fully understands those thoughts, he just a baby after all 💔) but they are still something so! as always be safe everyone and skip this if you are someone triggered by these topics <3
still here? ready? okay go :D
Key doesn't know where he's going. He shouldn't have left Casper. What an idiot.
He's barely paying attention to where he's going, but he does catch the glances of a few innocent passerby's. Most of them look indifferent, some a little concerned, and a couple of them look angry. He doesn't recognize them, but he understands them recognizing him. Every time he's in Mestras, he ruins several people's lives anyways.
His heart thrums violently against his chest as he runs. He doesn't care where he's going. He just needs to get away.
Away from what? His mind whispers. Away from the people you love? Away from the people who you thought cared about you?
Away from yourself?
Doesn't matter, he thinks. One mistake and I'm back to square one with everyone.
Was it really a mistake? The voice taunts. It sounds eerily familiar.
Oh. He remembers now. It's the same voice that used to tell him to give up on his dreams as a kid. The same voice that told him he was a burden to his dad and all he did was mess things up. The same voice that told him-
Shut up. Just just up.
His lungs heave for air. He's so dizzy…he hasn't slept in what, days? It feels like years. His stomach churns angrily, but it's too empty to bring anything up. He leans against a nearby wall and spits up bile.
His throat burns. His eyes burn. His heart aches.
It's nowhere near as bad as what you did to Falco and Casper.
He retches again. His legs are so weak. He's so weak. He's pathetic. No one is coming to save him this time, are they? He should stop relying on others. He's on his own now.
Get up. You still have to find a place to stay.
“I can't…”
He slumps to the ground with a soft sob. Everyone must hate him. It's only fair. He doesn't blame them. He hates himself too.
…What?
That isn't right, is it? Sure, he certainly doesn't like himself, and he definitely doesn't forgive himself, but hate…? Hate is such a strong word.
He's just a kid, right? Kids aren't supposed to feel this way. Right?
You're not just a kid. You're a monster. You deserve so much worse than a little self-hatred. You deserve to die. The world would be a better place without you in it. No one would even care. No one would cry.
Just give up. Just die already. There's nothing worth living for anymore. Not for you.
His eyes are getting blurry again, but this time not from crying. He doesn't recognize his surroundings. He's in a secluded area, mostly hidden from the public in a small alleyway. Good. No one will find him here.
:shrugs: thought we were having an angst off buddy. so i decided to have extra fun with it :D
also your fics are super owie man what are you talking about!!
(to be fair the whole time i was writing half of me was like "yesssss suffer moreee" and the other half was sobbing "MERCYYYY HAVE MERCYY PLEASEEEE" as if i wasnt the one writing it. i felt like i had so many disorders it was great)
sorry i didn't get this out last night, we had ritualistic sacrifices to handle
anyways
uhhh tw: suicidal thoughts? implied suicidal thoughts? i don't know. definitely some darker thoughts cause uh. key ain't doing too well. he doesn't plan to act on those thoughts (nor do i think he fully understands those thoughts, he just a baby after all 💔) but they are still something so! as always be safe everyone and skip this if you are someone triggered by these topics <3
still here? ready? okay go :D
Key doesn't know where he's going. He shouldn't have left Casper. What an idiot.
He's barely paying attention to where he's going, but he does catch the glances of a few innocent passerby's. Most of them look indifferent, some a little concerned, and a couple of them look angry. He doesn't recognize them, but he understands them recognizing him. Every time he's in Mestras, he ruins several people's lives anyways.
His heart thrums violently against his chest as he runs. He doesn't care where he's going. He just needs to get away.
Away from what? His mind whispers. Away from the people you love? Away from the people who you thought cared about you?
Away from yourself?
Doesn't matter, he thinks. One mistake and I'm back to square one with everyone.
Was it really a mistake? The voice taunts. It sounds eerily familiar.
Oh. He remembers now. It's the same voice that used to tell him to give up on his dreams as a kid. The same voice that told him he was a burden to his dad and all he did was mess things up. The same voice that told him-
Shut up. Just just up.
His lungs heave for air. He's so dizzy…he hasn't slept in what, days? It feels like years. His stomach churns angrily, but it's too empty to bring anything up. He leans against a nearby wall and spits up bile.
His throat burns. His eyes burn. His heart aches.
It's nowhere near as bad as what you did to Falco and Casper.
He retches again. His legs are so weak. He's so weak. He's pathetic. No one is coming to save him this time, are they? He should stop relying on others. He's on his own now.
Get up. You still have to find a place to stay.
“I can't…”
He slumps to the ground with a soft sob. Everyone must hate him. It's only fair. He doesn't blame them. He hates himself too.
…What?
That isn't right, is it? Sure, he certainly doesn't like himself, and he definitely doesn't forgive himself, but hate…? Hate is such a strong word.
He's just a kid, right? Kids aren't supposed to feel this way. Right?
You're not just a kid. You're a monster. You deserve so much worse than a little self-hatred. You deserve to die. The world would be a better place without you in it. No one would even care. No one would cry.
Just give up. Just die already. There's nothing worth living for anymore. Not for you.
His eyes are getting blurry again, but this time not from crying. He doesn't recognize his surroundings. He's in a secluded area, mostly hidden from the public in a small alleyway. Good. No one will find him here.
But we have the Dragon Striker roleplay camping trip coming up, and we haven’t decided by min arrangements.
If I’m the only who cares I guess it doesn’t matter.
Am I the only one who cares
No; I care about bunking arrangements
Yes; I don’t think they really matter
Remaining time: 1 day 13 hours
If I’m not the only one who cares, we could have it sorted by year, and gender, of course, Ragno, and any other genderqueer characters are gonna have a tough time with that.
Or we could spin a wheel of about five or six characters, and have then bunk; this would be a good way to force proximity between characters, and more importantly blogs, that wouldn’t otherwise interact.
There’s a bit of a toggle for it, we could make it mandatory that they’re in the same year; or that they’re all in different ones.
If more than just me cares I’ll make a poll to decide; let me know if ya’ll have any other ways.
this had never crossed my mind, but i like the idea of randomizing bunking arrangements. we could probably find an online group maker somewhere? maybe also a little sad if skadi and bau don't bunk together lol. i honestly sort of figured that everyone would just pick who they wanted to room with.
also that brings up another good question imo. are we assuming the characters are going to a campground with some sort of small cabins. or are they using tents. i figured tents but. who knows.
we could also use other activites to force proximity between blogs. i know naledi mentioned that they would randomly sort groups for boating/kayaking/canoeing/whichever activity it was back in her day
ooc: just a thought but we could have The People Of The Internet tell us who they want to see interact? or not i don't really mind
minor thing though if people end up sharing tents/cabins/whatever we're doing falco and key ideally should be separated for a thing we have planned if it's not too much trouble to arrange that sorry lol
I did think about having THE PEOPLE decide (why am I being so grandios about it?), but I feel like that would be really hard, and I wouldn’t know how to do that; there are like forty people, and so I wouldn’t know what to do.
And yeah, we can totally have the separated, if we decide to randomize it I could just… rig it.
But we have the Dragon Striker roleplay camping trip coming up, and we haven’t decided by min arrangements.
If I’m the only who cares I guess it doesn’t matter.
Am I the only one who cares
No; I care about bunking arrangements
Yes; I don’t think they really matter
Remaining time: 1 day 13 hours
If I’m not the only one who cares, we could have it sorted by year, and gender, of course, Ragno, and any other genderqueer characters are gonna have a tough time with that.
Or we could spin a wheel of about five or six characters, and have then bunk; this would be a good way to force proximity between characters, and more importantly blogs, that wouldn’t otherwise interact.
There’s a bit of a toggle for it, we could make it mandatory that they’re in the same year; or that they’re all in different ones.
If more than just me cares I’ll make a poll to decide; let me know if ya’ll have any other ways.
this had never crossed my mind, but i like the idea of randomizing bunking arrangements. we could probably find an online group maker somewhere? maybe also a little sad if skadi and bau don't bunk together lol. i honestly sort of figured that everyone would just pick who they wanted to room with.
also that brings up another good question imo. are we assuming the characters are going to a campground with some sort of small cabins. or are they using tents. i figured tents but. who knows.
we could also use other activites to force proximity between blogs. i know naledi mentioned that they would randomly sort groups for boating/kayaking/canoeing/whichever activity it was back in her day
But we have the Dragon Striker roleplay camping trip coming up, and we haven’t decided by min arrangements.
If I’m the only who cares I guess it doesn’t matter.
Am I the only one who cares
No; I care about bunking arrangements
Yes; I don’t think they really matter
Remaining time: 1 day 13 hours
If I’m not the only one who cares, we could have it sorted by year, and gender, of course, Ragno, and any other genderqueer characters are gonna have a tough time with that.
Or we could spin a wheel of about five or six characters, and have then bunk; this would be a good way to force proximity between characters, and more importantly blogs, that wouldn’t otherwise interact.
There’s a bit of a toggle for it, we could make it mandatory that they’re in the same year; or that they’re all in different ones.
If more than just me cares I’ll make a poll to decide; let me know if ya’ll have any other ways.
