Trying to find my way

Jay Dalton. Werewolf. 25 years old. He/him. Roleplay blog for Astoria.

[revesfestival]

Jordan Fisher as Jake Taylor in Work It (2020)

[jaydalton]

zomartinez​:​

—

Slipping her phone into her back pocket, Zoey made a mental note to keep an eye out for Seamus if he decided to join the pack that night. She hoped that was the case, because then she wouldn’t have to worry or fear about how he was handling the full moon if he was by her side — where they could run through the woods together. Plenty of the others were already there, each one antsier than the last when it came to being prepared for the pull of the full moon that was high in the air already. It wouldn’t be long now.

Soon enough the older wolves would begin the change and take the lead ahead of the pups while Zoey oversaw them all, keeping a close eye on the ones that had yet to be through many full moons on their own. Not to mention that she was to meet a new wolf tonight as she smiled she spied them. “I am,” she replied warmly with a nod, taking the outstretched hand into her with a strong shake before releasing it in hopes that she’d be able to help them tonight. “And she did. I’m glad that you were able to make it tonight.”

-

He could feel the moon. It wasn't time to turn yet, but he could feel it looming ever closer, like a guillotine over his head. He needed to make sure he was being responsible, being careful, being safe. This was the first step. Meeting an alpha. Someone who would be able to guide him and take care of him. Still, he was afraid. He didn't know much about these people, and finding a pack was a big decision. He didn't even know if she'd want him.

"It's nice to meet you," he said, polite and kind, though he could feel the moon in his veins making him tense and stressed. "I'm glad I made it too. I don't... really know what I'm doing, or how this works, or how to find a pack..." He chuckled, but it was far from happy. "I'm kind of a mess."

[jaydalton]

sahid-chettair​:

They smiled, they had learned to not deny kindness when it was offered, so they nodded. “I’ll leave it in front of your door one day,” they suggested, if and when it ever bothered them. Right now it was just something they used once in a while. They had never been much of a computer person anyway. 

They nodded. Sahid could imagine the change however, and doubted that the other wanted to talk about it, even if they asked. They had only just met, they would be more concerned if Jay suddenly opened their backstory to them during the first conversation. That was reserved for some people at the hospital, who ignored their pleas of being both deaf and just the cleaner, and would tell them their whole life story. “I hope it goes well,” they said with a smile. “Twitch is the website thing, right? Where people… make videos of things.” They smiled apologetically. “I know my normal social media things, I just don’t use them as much.” 

“Distraction is always nice, I have a lot of people helping me with hanging up flyers, the people of Astoria, despite it being a city, are very helpful. I am certain you’ll find a good place here,” they stated. The question asked, Sahid took a moment to set their thoughts in order. Now was the perfect time to admit to being deaf, something that Sahid very often tended to not say because they feared… something? They weren’t sure what, but at times it just felt awkward to admit to it. “Oh no, and you probably never will even if you play your music right into my ear,” they said, giving Jay a smile to make it seem less terrible. “I’m deaf,” they explained. “And also an excellent lip-reader,” Sahid added. “Though shit when it comes to names.”

- 

"Happy to help," Jay answered. Honestly, Sahid would probably be doing him a favor. He liked having something to tinker with. Maybe a job in tech wouldn't be so bad. He wasn't really tied to the idea of a desk job or a 9-5 type life. The flexibility of having your own schedule appealed to him, and he really had his heart set on streaming, making YouTube videos, making content, but he needed something stable until he had a good enough following to make a decent living.

"Yeah, a streaming platform. People watch you play live, talk to you, donate money and pay to subscribe to your channel. It's not for everyone. It's just a platform I really enjoy," he said, answering Sahid's question. A lot of people didn't understand it, but even if he wasn't exactly making big money from it right now, it made him happy, and that was something he had to cling to during these difficult times.

"Well if you ever want me to teach you how to play video games, I'm down," he said with a smile. "They can be a pretty good distraction. His cheeks turned slightly pink with embarrassment over his fumble. "Oh. I never realised. I guess that would make playing on voice chat pretty difficult." He gave a kind smile. "If I can ever do something to be more accessible, just let me know."

-

[jaydalton]

aleynagreer​:

▬

“Okay… I’ll talk to her about you, I’ll see what I can do to be helpful,” though she hardly knew Jay — and that was something she would state from the moment Aleyna met Zoey —, she knew that the alpha would have a good judgement and deem if that person was reliable to be in the pack of not. So far, she felt there was something genuine about him, and she knew how hard it was to do it all. It was probably even harder to go through the process of shifting alone, without the sense of belonging that a pack could bring. “Library it is then,” they weren’t too far from the building and it’d take a short walk until there, and she could always fill up with small talk just so silence wouldn’t be uncomfortable. 

But he was the first one to talk when they were already inside the library, slightly far from others. Raising an eyebrow, curious about what he meant, Aleyna waited until he gave her more words that would lead to what he was expecting as an answer from her. “There might be some people who’ll feel uncomfortable, but I actually don’t mind talking about it. I’d let you know if I did– I think people are more used to being open about what they are in this country, where they won’t face hatred and people trying to kill them,” she stated. “But I don’t think it’s cultural. And my first moon was awful because I couldn’t shift, I was trapped in my human form.”

-

"You've already been more helpful than almost anyone I've ever met," Jay said, his voice quiet and sincere. She seemed genuinely interested in helping out. On being like a pack. He was going to need one. It's not as if he could continue to survive on his own. He'd barely made it this far. Astoria was better than New England. At least there were no hunters here. But that didn't mean he didn't want to thrive.

"I'm really... um, there's a lot about my past that makes me uncomfortable too, so I guess I can't hold anyone's feelings against them." He wondered if the pack would thoroughly reject him if they knew about his past, but they'd know anyway, based on the pack connection and the thought sharing they had, so it was better to be honest. He waited until they were somewhere quiet to bring it up. "My family were hunters. They hated wolves. It wasn't safe for me when I became one. That's why I had to come here."

He looked at her, curious and confused. “Trapped in your human form? On a full moon? How did that happen?” 

[jaydalton]

hyunjinb​:

—

Their eyes were trained in the skies for a moment there, thinking about why were they feeling so restless lately. As if there was something crawling under their skin… like an animal. They didn’t know how to explain and honestly, they didn’t have anyone to talk to, so, as most things in Hyunjin’s life, they kept it to themselves. When the younger man spoke, allowing Hyunjin to come closer, the shapeshifter nodded, taking the empty seat next to Jay. “Ah… I’m Hyunjin.” They said, after pulling out the cutlery from its case in order to mix their salad, but stopped mid-way in order to offer their hand to Jay. “Hyunjin Baek… I think I arrive before you do, that’s why we haven’t properly met yet.” Jin returned their hand to their lap and took a bite off their food. “Are you settling in alright?”

.

His eyes widened with recognition at the name. The owner of the company. He was talking to the owner of the company. Like it was nothing. Like it was normal. He almost wished the person would have given an alias so that Jay wouldn’t be internally freaking out. But Hyunjin knew his name. Hyunjin had cared enough to talk to him. That had to be at least somewhat reassuring, right? “Oh. Oh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t recognize you right away. 

He extended his hand in return, taking the Hyunjin up on their offer of a handshake. Honestly, Jay was just relieved to have a steady paycheck. “Yeah, everyone has been really nice and welcoming. I’m not sure how much they told you about like... personal stuff, but I got bit pretty recently, so I’m still kinda adjusting to the werewolf thing. They seemed really understanding about needing time off and stuff, which is nice.” 

-

[jaydalton]

tuaharjuna​:

“It’s quite alright. Everyone has a sense of humour that is unique to themselves,” Tuah moved his shoulder in a shrug, taking a sip of his drink before continuing, “as long as you’re not hurting anyone and yourself, you can joke however you want.” Most of his friends merely groan when he told them his jokes, though that had never stopped him from telling them anyways.

“The UK mostly,” Tuah answered, “though I spent most of my time travelling as well. So few years here and there.” He loved to see what the world could offer him, learning new things about the people and the culture. Sometimes he returned to places that he had visited in the past just to see how much had changed. He had the means and time to do it, so why not do something that he would enjoy, right? “Where you’re from, by the way?” Tuah threw the question back at Jay, resting his forearms on the table that they shared.

“Isn’t there a profession where you can review games before it’s released to the public? Would you consider that as a profession?” He had only read about it online before, though he wasn’t sure how one would apply to such job. He didn’t know what Twitch was, and he had only discovered Youtube recently, so he wasn’t going to ask Jay about it lest he’d want Jay to think that he was very old-fashioned. Which he was, but he wasn’t about to have someone pointing it out to him. “Ah, it’s a franchise. A local one. It’s mostly paperworks and reading other people’s emails, however. Sometimes meeting a client or two. Not very exciting, to be honest.”

-

This conversation had gone on longer than Jay was comfortable with, but to be honest, that was most conversations these days, unless they were with people on a video game voice chat while playing Overwatch. "Oh, nice. Some of my family were from England originally, like, years and years ago." His dad had talked about their heritage proudly, how they used to be part of the court of some king or another. Jay didn't really care to remember the details. It was just more of the usual. His parents being arrogant and superior. He was ashamed to have once thought that was normal.

"I’m from Connecticut. I've travelled a little, mostly around the U.S. But I've been all over South America, Canada, New Zealand, Australia... They weren't really vacations though. Well, some were. My family liked to... go on hunting trips." He didn't bother to try and hide the disapproval in his voice and face.

"Reviewing video games? I'd try it, but not sure it's my thing. I like streaming. Where you play live and people can watch and talk to you and have fun. I do modding and other tech stuff. Most peopke find it pretty boring." He gave a small chuckle at the man's words. "Okay, I take it back. I mean this in the politest way possible, but paperwork and reading emails, that sounds way more boring."

-

[jaydalton]

seamusobrien​:

“Sure do, sweet pea. Longest commitment I’ve ever made.” They chuckled, though it was likely true. The track record on almost everything in their life was fairly short lived minus a couple very important people, his cat, and his job. “I’m a bartender and occasional performer, but not really because my true talents lie with paint.” And in the bedroom but he decided to leave that one out as he didn’t want to scare the young man away. Not when he’d just gotten the pleasure of meeting him, even if they had yet to be properly introduced to each other.

Seamus nodded and hummed. “Oh my goodness, I don’t even remember I have one half the time, thank you! It’s my boss and favorite vampire’s one hundred and eighty something’s birthday. So he decided to throw a huge party in the club he owns. It’s quite the spectacle.” One of the things he adored about Atlas was his flamboyant way of doing things and how grand everything had to be. Especially when he could enjoy the benefits with little to no effort to help. Sure he was technically working, but was he really? “Come on, I can borrow you my coat and they won’t even know you didn’t dress up cause you’ll be with me.” He motioned to the door.

-

This person was... a lot. They had a kind of energy to them that was both intimidating and invigorating. There was nothing threatening about them. Jay simply found the idea of someone so social to be a challenge, because he himself would happily shut himself inside his bedroom with a gaming headset and only leave for bathroom breaks and food. Still, he told himself, he was trying to step outside his comfort zone. Things would never get better if he kept hiding from them.

"And how long is that?" he asked, "the commitment?" He did like the idea of the other person being a painter. There was something about artistic people that Jay was drawn to. He gave a small smile, appreciative of the warm welcome from a stranger. It was perhaps the warmest he'd ever received. 'You'll be with me,' they said. And it was quite the promise. "Sure," he answered, silencing his doubts and desire to run. “Why the hell not? Trade?" 

He took off his own jacket, a simple black bomber jacket with a couple of decorative patches on it, receiving Seamus' fancier coat in return. "Did we... introduce ourselves? God, I suck at this. I'm Jay. Hi."

-

[jaydalton]

sahid-chettair​:

“Oh, it works,” Sahid said. “I mean, it’s old, but it does what I need it to do. If it ever crashes and you need a… victim, you can have it,” they added with a smile. Then at least it would serve someone else. 

“Oh.” Lots of oh’s for a single conversation, but they tried not to feel awkward about it. Perhaps it would do better if they knew more about the subject, and while they couldn’t hear the tone, they could recognise the emotion in the other’s face. “Sorry. That must’ve been rough.” It wasn’t a choice though, not like them and deciding they wanted to practice Hinduism, and getting kicked out for that. But Sahid wasn’t one to talk about instances, and not someone who asked either, though they recognised the emotion well enough. 

“Over a year,” Sahid said, shrugging. “We will find her.” Alive or not. But they would. Sahid needed to believe that, since they were already giving in too much to the emotion of moving on. It was the subject they could discuss however. It wasn’t about them, sure that was what their stepfather liked to think.

-

Jay enjoyed tinkering around with laptops and computers, building gaming PCs and streaming PCs. "It might work, but I can probably make it work better," Jay said with a kind shrug. "Up to you though." When the conversation turned to him being bitten, he clammed up a little. It was still tough to talk about, and from what he smelled of Sahid, he was pretty sure they were human. Living in Astoria probably meant they were exposed to the supernatural enough to not be too judgemental, but Jay couldn't help the instinctive fear that rose in him.

"It's okay. I mean, it wasn't exactly in my life's plan, but it happened and now I just have to live with it. The best I can." Which so far, wasn't too great, but one step at a time, right? He'd moved to a new place where he could start over. Things didn't just change overnight. "I have an interview at a place called BT Tech for some IT Support thing. So hopefully I'll be less broke soon. Until my Twitch career takes off." He managed a small smile, not with his full heart behind it, and a little forced. It quickly disappeared as they spoke of their niece.

People turned up all the time after being missing for years. Maybe she was still alive. But if not, at least finding out what happened to her could bring closure, and if they could find the person responsible, it could bring a kind of justice, too. "I'm not exactly well-versed in missing persons cases, but if I can help, even if it's just distracting you with a game night or movie night or something, let me know."

He paused for a moment. "Speaking of games, I'm not bothering you with the noise or being on voice chat or anything, right?"

[jaydalton]

aleynagreer​:

▬

“It’s been roughly seven months to me, and my first full moon came with some struggles because I couldn’t shift into my wolf form,” ever since July, Aleyna was constantly afraid of facing full moons with lunar eclipses, they became a nightmare in her life; a remembrance of that first shift. Her dark eyes remained on him, watching as he’d struggle to share information and Aleyna wouldn’t blame him, nor try to get more than what he’d like to share at that point. After all, they barely knew each other. “I’m still trying to understand how packs work, even if I’ve been in one ever since I was turned, but… I could talk to my alpha, see what she could do to help you. No one deserves to go through this change alone.” At least, in her perspective, she felt that way.

Her gaze met the ground for a second, slowly moving her head up because there was no reason why she should be ashamed. “I had no control over what happened, and maybe it was my fault, or maybe I was just believing the wrong person, still– it brought amazing people to my life, becoming a werewolf. So, partially, I wouldn’t take it back.” It also gave Andy the chance of meeting their father. Aleyna knew that if it wasn’t for the fact she was turned, the only way Leon and Andrea would get to know each other, would be accidentally. 

Then, she stood silent, waiting for Jay to talk to the receptionist. Martha, Aleyna still could remember the woman behind that task for the years she had been there. What she didn’t expect was for Martha to remember her as well. Aleyna, are you thinking about coming back? “Maybe, some day…” They chuckled.

Looking at her phone, Aleyna nodded. “I need to leave before, you know– we have to go through that. But, of course. Where would you like to head to first? I adore their library.”

-

Seven months. That wasn't too long. She was pretty new to this too, so maybe there was hope for him. He could learn. He could get better. He could stop himself hurting anyone. "Yeah, definitely." He didn't just want to barge in with a pack. It was a huge commitment, after all. But he knew he couldn't handle this alone. "I'd really like to talk to them. I don't know what the hell I'm doing." It would have been almost humorous how out of his depth he was if he wasn't so dangerous. His parents had taught him about wolves in a why they're dangerous and how to kill them kind of way, but nothing about how to be one. "Thank you," he said sincerely. "I appreciate it. Library sounds good."

He was already absentmindedly walking with her, away from the foyer area. He didn't really know where the library was, but he trusted her to lead the way. He'd come back later to do orientation. It'd have to be after the moon. At least places like this had special provisions for werewolves and those who might not be able to attend certain classes though. "So how much are we allowed to talk about?" He asked once they found a quiet place to sit. "Is it like, a cultural thing where you have to know someone well enough before you ask how they got bit? What their first moon was like...?"

[er-fightmaster]

Jay Dalton + Moodboard

[er-fightmaster]

Jay Dalton + Instagram

[stephsxcorner]

Jordan Fisher | 17 Questions

[jaydalton]

tuaharjuna​:

Tuah smiled when he heard the other laughed quietly. It wasn’t much but at least it was something, and he hoped it would make the other relaxed a little. “Four years, give or take,” he repeated, taking a sip of his drink. “I was looking for a place to settle down, and Astoria seemed like a good place as any.” He shrugged. There was also the attraction of a daylight charm, and he admitted it was one of the few things that convinced him to move to Astoria in the first place.

“Well, if that’s where your passion lies, I don’t think I can help you with that. I still have yet to catch up with the recent technology.” Tuah chuckled, shaking his head. He didn’t need to elaborate how bad he was with everything that involved technology. Even the pieces that he had now was barely used, or the young man would be too ashamed to sit with him. “I’m a business owner, though unlike you, I didn’t get any formal education. Everything I know, I learnt through either experience or books that I’ve read.” The only formal education he had was from the tutors that his grandsire had hired for him centuries ago, and he had been learning on his own ever since then. “So I don’t think I’m the best at giving that kind of advice. Nevertheless, I think you’ll find something worth pursuing sooner or later, so long as you don’t quit halfway.”

-

"Sorry, I... my sense of humor isn't what it used to be." If he was completely honest with himself, he was probably suffering from a kind of PTSD, but saying that sort of thing out loud was terrifying. Even thinking it was terrifying. He had a fresh start, a new life. He wanted to make it as good as possible. It was natural that things shouldn't feel normal right away. How could they?

"That's a decent amount of time," he nodded. "Where did you live before that?" Maybe if he could get the stranger talking about his own life, Jay could distract him from asking too many questions about his. "I don't know about passion. I love gaming, but making a career off Twitch or Youtube isn't exactly easy, so... it's good to have a back-up, I guess." His interest piqued as Tuah mentioned owning a business. "What do you do? For your business?"

[jaydalton]

He was terrified. The moon held sway over him in ways that made Jay want to be physically ill. It was like everything had the volume turned up to 100. Every emotion was experienced tenfold. The moon was reaching its peak later today and he was grateful for Aleyna passing on his information to her alpha just so he had someone who could help him.  This was the last thing he expected to be doing; meeting a pack of werewolves at the edge of the woods so they could transform together, and yet here he was, jacket wrapped tight around him, heart in his throat. 

“Hey,” he greeted, doing his best to keep his voice neutral, though the nerves most certainly came through. Even if the wolf hadn’t been able to hear his heartbeat, he was sure he had his fears and anxieties written all over him, etched into his skin like tattoos. “You must be Zoey.” He extended his hand to shake hers, though he wasn’t sure if that was something you were supposed to do or not. “I’m Jay. Aleyna mentioned me?” 

@zomartinez​

[hyunjinb]

location: an open area at the office building BT Tech is

when: friday, jan 22nd

status: closed | @jaydalton​

               — Finally, they had moved to a bigger office and had earned enough money to hire more people. Everyone was happy with the company’s growth. It felt like only yesterday they were all pulling their hairs trying to find investors, and now here they all were, making their business grow in a completely different country. And yet, Hyunjin was restless… It was their lunch break and lately, they had been eating in the office because they were either too busy or having to hold meetings. Today, however, they had a free slot, so they grabbed their food after heating it, and headed to the gardens on the rooftop, which gave a nice view of their neighborhood. Hyunjin spotted a familiar face in the crowd and approached the other person. “Hi. You’re Jay, right?” They smiled, bowing their head while greeting them. “Do you mind if I join you? It’s kind of boring to eat alone.”

[jaydalton]

-

Jay wasn't sure he wanted to work in tech, but he at least had some experience in the area, so he figured going to BT Tech for a job wasn't the worst thing he could do. He'd seen the vacancy online, submitted the application and here he was, sitting at lunch. He was surprised when someone approached him to sit with him. It was still his first week, after all. The moon was messing with his emotions, and he wished he'd have waited till after the next full moon was over with before starting a job that required him to talk to people, but it was too late for that now.

"Yeah, uh, hey, of course," he gestured to the empty seat next to him. His eyes narrowed with recognition as he tried to puzzle out how he knew this person. "Did we meet? I'm sorry, I'm still trying to learn everyone's names..."

[kierxns-deactivated20210607]

Starter for @jaydalton​

          One thing about being a vampire that was grotesquely different from being human was that you always seemed to be alert. You could voluntarily make the choice of not paying mind to the movement or the noises in or periphery, but you would always be aware that there was something happening. Colors were brighter, feelings were stronger, and noises were louder. When he heard the muffled sounds of a commotion on the opposite end of campus, Kieran let his curiosity get the best of him and turned from his way to the metro station next to the library in the direction of what sounded like a fight. When he got there, though, it was already too late. The fight was now just the aftermath. An indistinguishable silhouette walked away with some difficulty, cursing to the wind, while the man he left behind seemed to try to be undergoing a painful recovery. 

          That couldn’t be. Not with the strange sensation that man provoked. He was warm. Not warm in a feverish way, not warm like someone with the flu. Warm as in he had a warm aura. More alive than his half-dead, half-alive soul, more pungent, than dull, human energy, and hotter than the chilly winter air. It wasn’t an automatic connection, he was still getting used to the ability of sensing other species, but he figured it out soon enough. “Shit.” He muttered under his breath, as noticed that not only was the stranger nervous, he was turning.. He’d been advised by Tuah that he should keep away from werewolves, that they were powerful and that their bite was harmful. Kieran tried his best to keep his cool and walk away silently, but he could only imagine his companion’s sensations were as heightened as his, if not more, so as he turned to get one last look at the man, he noticed it was a little too late to run. 

          Slight relief washed over him as he noticed that the man wasn’t going to fully turn into a four-legged beast and attack him. The bright yellow eyes, the long claws and the sharp teeth were certainly a force to be reckoned with, but there was no need to panic and attack. Not yet. He weighed his possibilities and, strangely,  decided that standing his ground and trying to soothe the wolf was his best option. “Don’t.” His voice was serious and even somewhat serene. “It’s all right.” He held two half-open hands in front of him, motioning for him to try to regain his cool. Kieran took a few deep breaths, as he reclaimed his own calm.

[jaydalton]

-

If Jay had been able to know what Kieran had been thinking, he'd have completely understood the adjustment he was going through. Werewolves and vampires had that hyperawareness in common. Every one of his senses seemed to run on overdrive at all times. He couldn't help but be aware of the argument taking place in the quad as he tried to look through the class schedule and map he'd been given. He still found himself checking it on the regular.

He didn't exactly want to listen to the two of them bickering about who had slept with whose girlfriend, who was a bad bro or whether the 'girlfriend' in question was actually an ex so 'technically I didn't do anything wrong'. He couldn't help it though. Even if they hadn't been so close-by, Jay would have overheard every word. He felt the body temperatures rising with anger, the blood pumping around their bodies as their heartrates increased, and lifting his eyes nervously, he saw the fist clench.

Oh no.

Before Jay could even react, they were having a full on fist-fight. People gathered around, some to watch and egg the guys on, some to try and reason with them and break it up, but Jay just scrambled, almost dropping his backpack as he tried to put as much space between himself and the violence as possible. "Shit," he cursed, "shit shit shit--" His body was on fire, hands threatening to turn to claws, teeth changing shape in his mouth. His heart hammered furiously, almost in a full-on panic attack. Someone was coming up to him, and that thought terrified him almost more than the fight.

"Careful, I--" Jesus, this hurt. "Fuck, I’m sorry! I don't know if I can stop it..." Had he messed up? Should it be happening this early? 

[jordanfishersource-blog]