false confidence

28. shapeshifter. wasted like all my potential.

[seamusobrien]

zakary prashad​.

It wasn’t anger, just disappointment raging through him. He had been struggling with his own gender identity, or felt like he did. And while he wasn’t really thinking about ‘coming out’ or anything like that, it was mostly because he didn’t want it to matter, and he also worried he wouldn’t be excepted. 

He figured the stranger would just leave him be, accept that he was mumbling, but instead he was directed into a conversation with someone who was actually sharing his view point. Which at that right moment: he needed. 

Zhyan smiled for a bit, though his chest hurt still. He blinked up at the stranger, he was not as good at talking about those type of topics, but he was great at asking questions. “He-they-whatever?” he asked. “What does that mean?” curiosity flowed through every word. It felt rare to talk about it. He watched the vape but shook his head, he appreciated the offer but he didn’t want it. From what he had heard using drugs when you weren’t in the state of mind wasn’t a good idea, and he tended to live by that rule. “I just don’t understand why someone wouldn’t want to use the right pronouns, it’s not like it is a huge adjustment,” he said, mostly to himself, frustrated that it wasn’t as important to other people. “I mean.. we should be rewarding those that do dare to… uhm… giving the… I’m tongue-tied.” Mostly because his mind was still translating directly from Hindi. 

-

“Mmm, I’m pretty fluid as far as gender goes. I present male, so I don’t mind he but I’m also fairly adrogynous and feel they is appropriate as well, same with she or anything else if it suits the day.” Seamus shrugged. “That doesn’t mean I think it doesn’t matter what you call anyone, it’s just what works for me, mate.” They pulled their vape back to themselves and took a puff from it for good measure. Seamus could run their mouth to whoever, but they weren’t one to be able to back it up. Hence why they waited to jump in the conversation until the end. While they didn’t mind if they got a beat down, they didn’t want the other to get roped in for trying to be a good person and enlighten the world. “Small brains that are closed to the world around them. You’d think being in an place where there’s immortals and people who can wield actual magic, along with werewolves and shifters; they could accept there’s more than two feckin’ genders, right?” But Seamus knew that some people just wanted to be close-minded assholes, regardless of evidence and the like. “Don’t worry, dear, I get what ye mean. They’ll be forced to adapt eventually.” 

Seamus finished the remainder of their drink. “Is that true what ye said about Sam Smith though?” They threw the cup away in a nearby bin. “I might ‘ave to actually give props to a Brit. It will break my cold dead heart, it will.” 

[seamusobrien]

hyunjin b​aek.

—

Jin smiled down at Seamus when the shifter looked up at them and then pressed a kiss on their forehead. It kind of reminded them of how things were when Seamus was sober, but Hyunjin decided to focus on either to gig or the conversation itself. It would do no one any good if the taller man got lost in bits and pieces of their past. They had broken things off with a reason and they were keeping their word. Besides–Hyunjin was way too busy to think about sharing their life with someone else.

“Morrisey had quite the upbeat songs for such a depressive bloke, though.” He chuckled. “So, I think I can handle these lyrics.” Jin kept swaying their bodies to the rhythm of the music they were playing, then looked down at Seamus again. “Yeah. Never been much of a crier, but I get it. Do ya need to cry for any reason? Should I be worried?”

-

If Seamus could bottle the attention for later, they’d likely never have the need to take another drug again. But, then again, maybe not. There was no telling when the effects would wear off, but no one could keep paying attention to someone forever and eventually they would seek out something to numb the torment their thoughts put them through. For now, in that moment with Jin, it was enough. It even brought a smile out of Seamus that was neither sardonic nor forced, just genuine contentment. 

“I think a lot of depressed people end up with uplifting lyrics, tunes, or jokes, they don’t want people to feel like they do, y’know?” Another reason Seamus doesn’t talk about their own mental gymnastics, they would rather keep it to themselves and not put it on anyone else. Their demons were their own burden and not anyone else’s to bear. Seamus reached to stroke a hand down the other’s cheek. “Never worry ‘bout me, love. But, I could probably cry at how damn pretty you are. It should likely be illegal.” They answered with a wink. Jin was far too gorgeous for their own good, and brilliant to boot. Seamus couldn’t help but swoon.

[seamusobrien]

raine morgan​.

Raine raised an eyebrow but didn’t ask at first, nodding as if impressed by the quick change. They shrugged. “Yay, guess I can meet my dealer there too,” they noted, following Seamus’ example and standing. “Shit mate, that sounds like a nightmare. Why did ye get evicted?” They asked, pushing their hands in their pockets. Raine wasn’t one to judge, ever. Also judging too way too much negative energy which they rather reserved for themselves. “Oh yeah, heard about the whole disappearing thing. Benji’s I were out of the country, so we luckily didnea hav’ta deal with that. Cannea think that was pretty.” They shuddered. 

“Well, Benji asked me to leave Astoria with him, he got night terrors so bad not even I got any sleep. So he went to get treatment, I went home for a bit, bad decision, moved back, promised Benji I would be a good woof and now I see him on the weekend mostly. Course, not this weekend and the next. But he got difficulty being here and I ain’t gonna ask him to do something that will just give both of us shit sleep. Other than that, trying to lessen my drug and alcohol use and failing spectacularly.”

-

“Car is four blocks away, but who knows how long that’ll be.” Seamus said looking down at their phone and shoving it back in their pocket. They nodded at their comment. “I got plenty on me, I can share till you can meet up with ‘em.” They didn’t mind sharing if they had someone to do it with and Raine was a good mate. “Life is a nightmare, the people in it are the dream.” They said with a wink. For them, that statement was mostly true. People were the only thing helping them navigate through the nightmare that was their life and everything going on inside them everyday. That, and drugs and alcohol. Those were a big help and detriment, but they helped before they hurt. “Something, something, I didn’t pay my rent for a couple months and apparently that’s frowned upon.” They tried to make a joke of it but their face fell again at the mention of the recent events, looking down at the sidewalk and kicking at a crack. “It wasn’t.” Is where they left it, not wanting to talk about it anymore than that. 

“That’s fucked, mate. Glad he got some help though. Brave of ‘em all that.” It was something Seamus had never found the gall to do. Doctors creeped them out, no matter the level or specialty. Partially because they were sure they would lock them away and throw away the key if they actually sat down to talk to one. “So still not on the market, damn. My heart forever remains shattered.” They joked and pointed to the car pulling up. “That’s ours.” Seamus opened the door for them and got in after. “Also, ditto. Obviously, but I was tryin’ to cut back before all the bullshit happened now I can’t be bothered.”

[seamusobrien]

maximilian tirmizi​.

Maxi watched with an amused smile as the other took the lollipop between eager hands. Clearly he was dealing with someone who was exceptionally youthful, despite age. This was interesting in many regards. “Of course, rose and candy are good ways to the heart.” He cocked an eyebrow. He nodded. “Well, if you ever wish for a history lesson, I would gladly teach you privately.” 

The more personal retort was expected, this one did not seem to have much of a care for a filter. “Simply trying to share the holiday spirit, not everyone who wants a rose for valentine receives one. I simply try to cheer up as many of them as possible.” He held out his hand in introduction. “Maximilian Tirmizi,” he said.

-

“Food is a usual good way to get my attention, or just plain ol’ affection.” Seamus said with a wink. Too many years hungry for both made it an instant way to get the shapeshifter’s attention. Their heart had been broken one too many times for them to give that up easily, but they were sure to return the attention they were given. “Privately, aye? I do like private things.” They grinned at him. 

“Aren’t you just the knight in shining armor everyone is looking for, all that talk and ye must be beatin’ people off with a stick.” They had no reason to think the other was another one of those good samaritan types that came out on holidays. Seamus looked at his hand a moment and shook it. “Seamus the famous O’Brien, at ye service.” They smirked. “Good to meet ye, handsome.”

[seamusobrien]

scout ainsley.

Even with the din of the festival around them, Scout is attuned to Seamus’ voice and her body immediately turns towards it, a grin already spreading across her face. It’s impossible not to with the atmosphere around them - but also she just so genuinely cares for Seamus that it adds to the ease of her smile. “Not everyone has the metal to stay on the campgrounds over night, Sea. Have you gone home yet to shower?” she asks with a laugh, reaching to fold him into a hug, nose wrinkling mildly. “You know you could have just crashed at mine.” Scout’s version of mother henning is cut short when he calls attention to her outfit. She pauses for a moment only to show off her outfit before diving right back in. “I could say the same about you. Where did you even keep that if you didn’t go home?” 

-

The shapeshifter rolled their eyes into a smile. “It’s called givin’ zero fucks, love. But, I’ll take metal.” Seamus let out a light chuckle. Though they were more than aware that they weren’t tough enough for the description, a mosh pit with any supernatural being would likely break them into tiny pieces. Humans may be sustainable. “No, nah, I freshened up in the bathroom though. Got all the important bits. Put on more deodorant and some body spray, good as new.” He winked and flashed a smirk. “Then I would have missed all the nighttime fun.” They shook their head. There were likely a lot of places they could have crashed, but they were in the zone and were more than happy to sleep wherever they fell. “My bag, of course. I think the shirt might belong to the guy I fell in love with for a few hours last night.” Seamus shrugged. “Where are you headed first? I want to annoy you for a few hours.”

[seamusobrien]

sahid chettair​.

The first thing Sahid realised was that the other probably spoke with an accent. The second thing that they could also be slurring their words. Most people who were drunk or stoned tended to mumble. “It isn’t hours?” They asked, confused for a moment but glad as well. At the mention of the colors, Sahid raised an eyebrow. They knew the effects drugs could have - which was why they stuck with weed mostly - but they had been through the list. Their friends had enjoyed it all. “You want some water? We can get you some water?”

-

"Hours?" Seamus repeated with a slit and a bit of confusion. They noticed the same confusion of the other's face. It was their accent, it came out more under the influence and Sea had heard  more than once it was nearly impossible to understand them in that state. That, however, never stopped them from rambling on but they tried to slow down when they could remember. "Oye, yeah I suppose I could go fer a water or two at this point." Seamus nodded. They weren't trying to ruin their day by passing out from dehydration. “Lead t’way oh captain my captain.”

[genius-lyrics]

Isaiah Rashad - Heavenly Father

[dorianvitale-deactivated2021032]

@seamusobrien​

They hadn’t made plans, Dorian was more than aware of the fact, and yet the vampire found himself so inclined to seek the shifter out anyways. A toxic idea to toy with, but it appeared his self-control was lacking and they were just too easy to find. Their scent unmistakable, as the vampire entered the darkened bar, shadows cast upon walls as the majority of occupants didn’t bother him with a second look. It wasn’t as if these strangers knew him, of course not, he was just another face amongst the crowds. Someone they’d easily overlook and forget, solely ignorant he was the oldest being in the building. But they weren’t his focus tonight, no, he was settled on something else as he stalked to the furthest corner where he found the very person he’d been hunting. “You didn’t answer my call.” A mild retort, as he eyed the stranger who was with Seamus, a single brow arching. “Are you free?” Given they were with another, the answer should’ve been plain, but they both knew Dorian wasn’t truly asking, as he locked stares with Seamus.  

[seamusobrien]

-

There was a lull between shows and Seamus found themselves in the club with one of the few people they’d met that weekend. They had a name that was easy to remember yet, Seamus couldn’t remember it by the time the molly they gave him kicked in. Something with a ‘R’ he was certain. Either way, they’d had a blast dancing in the crowd and ended up back at the club to rest. Have some drinks, maybe go back to the festival or perhaps to another party. Maybe just go back to- Rodney, that was his name- Rod’s apartment. Seamus laughed at a comment the other made but was quickly halted when the man looked at someone approaching them. Before he could ask him what was wrong, he heard his voice. “Call? Was it like, one of those subliminal things, love? Because, you ought t’know by now I like to keep the noggin offline as much as possible.” Sea tapped his temple and winked. Honestly, he’d no idea where his phone was at the moment. They assumed it was in his bag and very much so dead. It’s not like there were a ton of outlets to charge the thing on festival grounds. Their mouth turned into a yikes expression at the question. 

“Well, Roger here and I-” the other man interrupted to say that wasn’t his name. “Oh, um, Richard perhaps?” They shook their head and Seamus’ lips twisted in thought, tapping their chin a finger. “Rod-ney?” He guessed again, voice raising an octave. It’s Brad. “Huh. Well. That settles that then doesn’t. It’s been terribly lovely meetin’ ye, Brad. This one is a tish of an attention hog though.” He eyed Dorian with a cheeky smile. “Do call though, love or find me later.” Sea waggled their fingers to them as they exited their place at the table. “Toodles.” 

This gave Dorian the shapeshifter’s full attention, while he turned in his chair and motioned to the seat. “Looks like some o’ m’time just freed up, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome.” Sea paused to finish off the drink they’d been bought prior to Dorian’s arrival. “Whatever can I do for ye, m’dear? I didn’t think music festivals were yer vibe.” While they were ever drawn to the older creature, they knew full well they weren’t from this century or even last. He figured he would have more fun at a museum of sorts, looking at old things with other old vampires. The thought made them chuckle, because they also knew everyone could adapt. His boss was proof of that. Seamus waved for another drink while he waited to hear what brought Dorian all the way out Novaverse festival. Certainly it couldn’t have been just for him. 

[nickyhemmick]

Colors (Stripped) - Halsey

[bladesinthedarkrpg]

@astoriastarter​  /  parking lot adjacent to the festival   /  open

Sergio pressed a hand against the hot top of his car, his dark eyes examining the door for any scratches. Festivals made him nervous. The publicity of it had almost the entire city packed into one area, leaving their security overwhelmed and understaffed. Perhaps, he was paranoid. He had every right to be since December. His throat tensed at the idea of a stray bullet landing the wrong way again. It was a curse that he cared so deeply for the people of Astoria. They were all good in their own form even the ones shrouded in darkness and temptation for darker magic.

They held their own and stayed because there was no place safer than Astoria. Or…so they say.

His broad shoulder pressed against the door as he tucked in a few pieces of merch. Rather than tote around the clump of shirts he bought on impulse, it felt better to let them bake in the sun as he turned abruptly to the side. His gaze lingered on a person, shifting into an easy grin as they made their way forward.

“You’re not too fucked already, are you?” He jested.

[seamusobrien]

-

Even though Seamus had been thriving ever since the festival started, even he needed a break from the crowd now and then. That had him near the parking lot to change into a new shirt. It also gave them opportunity to pop a pill without security catching him and throwing him out. Not that he wouldn’t find a way to sneak back in, but it would put a damper on his weekend if the rent-a-cop’s got familiar with him. The shapeshifter popped the round tablet and washed it down with the remainder of the Irish whiskey in his flask. His eyes popped up when he heard the familiar voice, unaware he’d had an audience.

“Oh, if you think I’m not always fucked yer sorely mistaken, darlin’.” Seamus shot them a cheeky grin. “What on earth are you doin’ out here?” They asked, taking the moment to light a smoke and return the backpack to their back. 

[zakary-prashad]

LOCATION: near Sunset Stage TIME: 15.40pm, Sunday March 7th @seamusobrien

Zhyan shook his head quickly at the other reporter, then took his phone from his pocket. “No, I distinctly remember that Sam Smith goes by they/them now,” he told the other. It had jumped out at him for obvious reasons that he didn’t feel comfortable sharing. He shrugged when the reporter said it might get confusing for readers. “They’ll manage to adapt,” Zhyan commented, finding the article and showing it to the reporter, who said he didn’t care. “But you should,” Zhyan retorted, almost pleadingly. The reporter shrugged and left, leaving Zhyan behind feeling desperate that he couldn’t bring the right argument. “It matters,” he muttered to himself, then looked up. “Sorry,” he said to the stranger eyeing him. “I was talking to myself.” Clearly.

[seamusobrien]

-

They didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but they’d been sitting on the ground off to the side removing a splinter from their heel. A downfall to going barefoot. This reminded them to grab the sandals from their bag and place them back on their feet for a bit. Seamus scoffed at the responses the reporter gave the person talking to them. They’d like to think they could be so eloquent but knew they’d likely have said something insulting and taken their leave after the first brush off. “Don’t apologize, love. It seems they were depriving some village of their idiot and needed to get back to them as soon as possible.” Seamus offered the other a smile and their vape in case the other needed a puff to chill out. “Good try though, you’re right it does matter and people should care. They do care, not that one obviously, but a lot do. I do.” Sea shrugged. “Seamus, he-they-whatever. I personally believe that gender is broad and beautiful and certainly doesn’t fit in a neat little box. Just like sexuality.” Seamus broke the mold of all of the above whenever possible, chaos implied.

[sahid-chettair]

LOCATION: near Onyx stage (H.E.R.) TIME: Sunday 7th of March, 6pm @seamusobrien

Sahid distributed the last trash bag into the container, threw their jacket in the little locker they had been provided with and snuck through the iron bars back onto the festival ground, too quick to check if there was anyone on the other side. They yelped when their shoulder connected with someone’s back. “Sorry! Sorry!” They said quickly, pushing themselves back towards the iron bars and moving past the festival goer. “Shoot, please tell me that wasn’t the complete contents of that cup,” they pleaded, looking at the regular festival cup on the ground.

[seamusobrien]

-

They were fixed on someone’s shirt. It was very bright and if the colors wouldn’t have been blending together and distorting, they would think it had flowers on it. However, they didn’t get the chance to ask as they were interrupted by a nudge from behind. “Shit!” Seamus turned to give their own apology only to be greeted with the other apologizing instead. Had that not been his fault? “The comple-huh?” Sea looked down to see the cup on the ground and they had to think for a moment whether or not they’d had a cup in their hand. “I don’t remember if I had a cup. S’pose I ought t’throw it away though, huh?” Which they proceeded to do. Seamus was a mess but they didn’t like to make the earth more of a mess than it already was. “I should get a drink. A drink sounds good. Maybe the colors will stop bein’ such a distraction then.” Though unlikely until the hallucinogen was properly out of their system. 

[seamusobrien]

hyunjin b​aek.

                     — They weren’t the softest person around there. Sometimes, most of the times, actually, Jin didn’t know how to describe themselves–they were neither warm sometimes, but not too warm (could one use lukewarm to describe a person?)… they were not too cold nor distant either… more like… apathetic? Or maybe they always had different priorities. But, truth was, there was a special place in their heart for Seamus. They weren’t in love, they knew it. But they felt oddly compelled by Seamus. Whenever the fellow shapeshifted asked to hang out, Jin would oblige. It was odd to say the least. 

A smile was on their lips when Sea asked if they were having fun, and despite the fact that a sad song had just ended, and Jin found themselves slightly sad, but yeah… they were. Having fun, I mean. “I am!” They threw an arm around Sea’s shoulders and pulled them closer, enjoying their time together, because for the first time in a while, Sea looked and seemed sober enough to enjoy this proper. Jin shifted their positions, wrapping both arms around Seamus’ shoulders to let the slightly shorter out of the two rest against Jin’s chest. “I missed hanging out with you too, mate, so thanks for messaging to meet me here. Are you having fun? Aren’t they a bit out of your taste?”

-

The arms wrapped around them was a welcome surprise and immediately relieved whatever tension was still being held in their frame. He leaned back into Jin and held their nice strong arms with both hands, tapping fingers along to the beat of the music. “Good! I always have a fabulous time with ye, darlin’.” Seamus tilted their head to beam a smile up at him. Which, was mostly true. There were rough moments, ones with talks of things Sea mostly tried to avoid or brush off, but those weren’t Jin’s fault per se. It was just how it was sometimes and they obviously didn’t stop being friends after the fact which was all that ever mattered to Seamus. 

“They are a bit sad, but I like the folky stuff, too.” Seamus didn’t know if there was a music type they didn’t like. Maybe the super high pitched opera singers, just because extremely high drawn out sounds made them wince. “Sometimes you need a song to get you in the mood to cry for the catharsis of it all. Y’know?” They nodded as though they needed to convince themselves of the words that ramble out of their mouth and swayed along to the current song. “Plus a break from mosh pits and crowd surfin’ is good for everyone.” 

[charliekwensi]

set: saturday 6th, 4:45pm location: sunset stage - cage the elephant availability: closed | @seamusobrien​

Charlie ignored the idea of watching the show from the vip section mostly to watch up close how the public would engage through every song the band would play that day. She had heard their songs before but had yet to experience watching their show. Hazel eyes completely hypnotized by their presence, humming the lyrics while her body would moving according to the instruments being played and forming the melody. Fifteen minutes later, she found herself stating a loud: fuck yeah, the moment she noticed the first chords of Cigarette Daydreams. She even dared to close her eyes and engage completely in the vibe, before she ended up offering her vape at the person next to her. “I’m so high that, at this point, even people taking pictures of me I’m just here like: fuck, whatever, just do it.”

And it wasn’t a statement that came out of nowhere, become somewhat close to where she was, there were a few people whispering, wondering if she was the Charlie Ekwensi and taking pictures of the shapeshifter. Her gaze finally turned to face them. “Have you ever tried to crowd surf? It must be one hell of an experience.”

[seamusobrien]

-

Cage the Elephant was a vibe. Their lyrics hit home often for Seamus and suddenly it made him want to paint. Not that they had access to the medium at the moment, but it was still an urge regardless. Instead they placed their focus on the famous face next to them and moving along to the music in no particular rhythm but their own. “That’s one of the many benefits of cannabis, less fucks to give and more vibes to be had.” The festival had Seamus thriving in a way not available to them anywhere else. It made them give up on the numbing agents during the day and most of the night, sticking closer to hallucinogens and of course, weed. Though it was hard for them to ever consider the plant very dangerous, it was more medicinal in his mind. They took Charlie’s vape and hit it before handing it back. “Eh, I say let them take pictures. Just don’t let them ruin yer vibe, yeah?” 

Seamus loved the feeling of the bass in their chest and placed a hand over their chest to feel it a little more intensely. “Plenty of times. It’s kind of a rush in it’s own right. If you don’t mind bein’ touched and sometimes groped in all the wrong places by a ton of strangers.” All things Sea could care less about, actually encouraged in their enhanced state of mind. The shapeshifter was very much a fan of touch and attention. Plus the recklessness of it all didn’t escape them. “Looking for answers in the pouring rain-” Seamus sang along. “Ye think they’ll do shake me down?” Sea really wanted to hear that one live. “Or no rest for the wicked? I think that could be Astoria’s theme song.”

[raine-morgan]

Location: sidewalk in front of Seamus’ home @seamusobrien

“Again on yer curb,” Raine said, passing down the street near Benji’s old apartment for no other reason than to make sure there hadn’t been any mail delivered to him after the two of them had left Astoria. “Is it like a curb that has special powers?” they asked, sitting down next to the evenly as tall individual who aside from being Benji’s old neighbour just messed well with Raine’s idea of what people should be. And also someone they felt they had a better understanding with on account of both stepping outside of the conventional gender norms. 

“How’ye been, Sea?” they asked, stretching their legs and throwing a hand through their hair.

[seamusobrien]

-

“Not m’curb anymore. I got kicked.” Sea answered, waiting for the uber they ordered to get to the festival. It had been a bit since they’d seen Raine, which they only just noticed now that they saw them again. “Perhaps.” Sea shrugged and took a small hit off their vape and blew it towards the sky. “Ye goin’ to Novaverse today. I got an uber comin’, you’re welcome to ride with me.” They offered before the conversation moved on any further. That way if they weren’t going, they would understand if Seamus left mid talk. 

“Fabulous, as always.” Seamus said, tone dripping with sarcasm. “Let’s see, people disappeared, but came back but it was terrifying. Then I got evicted and now I’m livin’ with Zoey but also kind of just stayin’ everywhere ‘cause of the whole burden on good people thing. Y’know, the usual.” Sea sighed. Raine was the first person they’d really vented all that to since it happened. It was strange it all kind of fell out, but maybe it was because they didn’t get the feeling Raine would lecture them about it. “How about you? Been a minute or two.”

[seamusobrien]

maximilian ganymede tirmizi​.

Maxi laughed, loudly and warmly, trying to seem just a little embarrassed about being asked so bluntly for his number. “Something for lust,” Maxi repeated, leaving the situation hanging between them, because it wasn’t in his nature to say no to such a fine offer. He turned to look between the roses that were waiting to be handed out and unearthed a red lollipop that he had planned to hand out to kids. He produced it in one hand as an offering to the other. “I do disagree however, perhaps romantic love, but there are seven forms of love, according to the Greeks. Lust, mind you, is one of them,” he waited for the lollipop to be accepted as he reached out with his other hand to straighten the stranger’s jacket a bit. 

-

“Aye! You were prepared!” They exclaimed with glee when the other held out the lollipop and took it from him. Seamus unwrapped it almost instantly, half paying attention to what the other was carrying on about while they placed it in their mouth. “Sounds super complicated but what do I know, I failed history.” The first time, they took it again and barely passed, but they didn’t care. They graduated and that was all that mattered in the end. “So, what’s all this about then? You just tryin’ to get everyone in the mood o’what?” Seamus asked, the lollipop still tucked in their cheek. “I don’t think I’ve seen ye around before.”

[seamusobrien]

atlas​ montgomery.

~-~

As Seamus sat up Atlas took the opportunity to sit down next to him on the cushioned surface freed by them. His eyes softened when they said they missed the place, but he didn’t let it dismiss the information the other supplied. “What did you take?” he asks, turning his body to face the shifter, his hand raising to busy itself sorting the others bed hair. When they first met it hadn’t taken long for Atlas to pick up on Seamus’ habits. Unlike many Atlas understood, it was not long ago he was searching for the escape that drinking, smoking, sniffing, could bring. Of course for him it was temporary, and for a while it just made him search for something stronger, something better. But none of it worked. A blessing and a curse thanks to his vampirism. But as a shifter everything worked on Seamus, so naturally Atlas was worried where the boys limitations laid. “How are you feeling now?” he asks as his hand falls from their hair.

“You know you are welcome here, but I wish you had come to mine instead. I would have offered you a warm drink and a bed to sleep in.” He’d done it before, welcomed Seamus under his sheets to sleep away whatever was troubling them. Even when Seamus wanted to be alone Atlas would encourage the use of the bed, happy to take up the space on his couch instead. As he hunts for houses he finds himself thinking a guest bedroom would be nice, at bare minimum for Seamus to curl up in when he needed to block the world out. “You’ll have me jealous with all this time you’re spending at Zoey’s.”

-

That question, Seamus hated that question. What did it matter? And sometimes he didn’t even know the answer. The man was a garbage disposal when it came to substances, especially the ones in pill form. However, if someone puts it in front of them, they will take it without question. Over the last few years he had gotten better at pacing himself, only using harder things sporadically. But currently all bets are off. 

Seamus never cared too much for their well-being before, but they tried for the other people in their life that cared for some reason. Now, all that was slowly slipping away from him. “Oh you, a little of this and a little of that. It’s all gone now though.” They answered with a slight pout. That reminded them that they would need to do some restocking at some point during the day. “Terribly sober.” His face twisted with a bit of pain and disgust. The throbbing in his head was a common occurrence in the morning and he had a tolerance for it. It would go away soon enough, a little bit of water and it gave him something to focus on beyond the things in his head. 

“You know I don’t like to come around when I’m like that.” The words came out softer and laced with a hint of shame. Especially with how often it had been happening recently. It’s not like the other hadn’t seen him high or drunk. But, that wasn’t what he was necessarily referring to. It was more his state of mind and the levels of gone he actually was. He tried to avoid the ones that cared about him during benders, it was good practice. Unless they were along for the ride and there was only one or two that actually partied hard like he did. “I haven’t been spending much time anywhere in particular, but I got evicted. Had to bring my stuff somewhere and she’s family.” Seamus shrugged. “Plus, I never know when you’re home.” Atlas had a busy social life, Seamus was well aware of it. He really hated being such a burden. But, that’s who he was.