jaygays @jaygays - Tumblr Blog

oh I’m feeling so directionless.

when I get on survivor, I hope they never find my tumblr account

Nicotine rush in the bathroom of breakfast w/ my mom and her best friend

I hate that self advocacy is celebrated nominally but that truthfully, suffering in silence is romanticized as a desired trait. One to consider your weakness but secretly enjoy having an easy weakness

Me when I know the suffering will end. Its just like,,, when

I’m not saying I am going to kill myself. I’m just saying I think about it a lot

Rearranging my life where I’m the villian and also,,, listening to my crying playlist!!! This should work out

#crying

I feel like,,, I still feel guilty to be alive

masturbating but I can’t stop thinking about political theory and getting turned off

#new low

I just think Julien baker leaped into my head and sucked out my brain and took those thoughts and wrote appointments. Like she gets me too well

#appointments #julien baker #turn out the lights

Being an inherently performative person. My whole internal dialogue is how can I construct an image of myself so curated that I truly don’t know what I really want. I cannot dissect myself as a separate existence without another person. I don’t know if I exist for anything but the people I love. And that’s why I hate any moment alone because all I think about is my next performance 😼😼 you know 😸😸 idk just silly little thoughts 😹😹

Sometimes I feel like I am not a real person

If you were pronouncing something wrong, would you want a friend to correct you or let you continue?

#rambles

Experiencing mild psychosis in the form of delusions of grandeur

I love you, Lou Reed

#the velvet underground

I really love shouting into the void 🔥🔥 like a journal where I don’t have to worry about being watched

girls when are they destined to become their father and absolve all the bad to feel he is perfection…only just to preserve the same cycle…through his vary flawed actions 😅😅 as he tells you changing has changed him for the better… idk man I would benefit from a beer

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