I always said I would learn to cook for a girl I loved, problem was, they were never hungry.  So now all they get is buttered toast and coffee. It was never my intention to be a hopeless romantic, I in fact, became quite the opposite.  Romantically hopeless. All of my endeavors have fallen short of expectation, and now I sit here making tally marks of all the moments in my life, I should’ve done something different. I don’t have any regrets, but I know that I’ve made mistakes.  Some bigger than others, and some were actually fun to make at the time.  That moment of “Oh shit, this isn’t going to end well”, is a never ending motif in my love life. I laugh at it now but at the time, it was always the end of the world.  Example: I dated a girl once. Everything was fantastic.  Until one night she didn’t come home.  And as a level-headed individual I didn’t over react. All I did was leave my house at 3 in the morning to go looking for her. Naturally of course.  In the moonlight, in all of my intoxicating glory, I came upon her car parked in the driveway of her ex boyfriend’s house.  Now I, as a completely rational person, decided it was a good idea to knock on the door, while of course I wasn’t sobbing or anything, I clearly through my tears, asked if my girlfriend was in the house.  He, being a completely objective 3rd party person, had no idea.  After he initially threatened me because I was on his property, he settled down and simply said, “I’m sorry I didn’t know anyone was here.”  At the point, in all of my anger I left the premises and proceeded to the gas station, knowing damn well I didn’t have any money.  I figured it was an emergency though, and it was well justified.  I approached the counter, asked for a pack of smokes, pulled out my debit card, and swiped it.  The first time I over-drafted my checking account.  And then I thought to myself, “Oh shit, this isn’t going to end well.”
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