Jaz Pants @jaz-pants - Tumblr Blog

Beginnings

I’m obsessed with beginnings.

The start of a movie before you realize just how much of a bitch Janet really is. The beginning of a book where the author takes time to paint the scene. The start of a meal before all the flavors start to mix and saturate your taste buds. The opening notes of a song that fills you with anticipation.

The beginning of a relationship where everyone’s best face is the only face. Before the games start. Before the first argument. Before coming to a compromise gets hard. Before you start to feel like it’s too much effort. Before your calls start to go missed and unreturned. Before the resentment. Before the hurt feelings. Before we say things we don’t mean and later refuse to give the apologies we really should give. Before the frustrations. Before the accusations. Before the doubts.

The beginning is where I’d like to live forever. That’s where the smiles are. The discovery of just how good your skin smells. Feeling surprised that you’d be in to the kinds of things you’re in to. The discoveries of what we have in common and building interest in what we don’t. The happy thoughts. The possibilities. The butterflies, the warmth, the snuggles.

There’s gotta be a way to stay in that beginning mindset forever.

I vow to discover it.

-jaz

Tic/toc

It’s almost at the point where the heart hardens and self becomes the most important thing.

I almost don’t care what happens to you or where you’ll go.

This is supposed to be a partnership but this ship of partners is sinking. I do, you don’t, you won’t and I can’t.

The little things go unnoticed. Playing victim brings reassurance.

(I’m finishing the rest in a poem)

You (pt 1)

You deserve someone who will help you plan.

You deserve someone who will ask you what's wrong instead of going on the defensive.

You deserve someone who will walk the dog with you at night.

You deserve someone who isn't complacent.

You deserve someone who takes time to listen to you.

You deserve someone who will read a book with you - not because they like books but because they want to know why you are so engrossed in the one you are reading.

You deserve it.

hitrecordjoe

Honored to be a part of @SethRogen’s #HilarityForCharity, raising awareness of Alzheimer’s. Also honored to smoke @SnoopDogg’s weed.

Chief of Medicine

A while back, I told my mom that I was thinking of going back to school to become a surgeon. She told me she knew a doctor and, long story short, she pulled through!

Turns out, she didn’t just know a doctor. She knew a Chief of Medicine who actually still sees patients! And I’ve had the privilege of shadowing him.

So far, I’ve learned that I definitely do NOT want to become a Chief of Medicine (too many demands...) and I’ve became incredibly humbled. I’ve also been more motivated to stick to my exercise routine. And I’ve improved my time management.

I’ve seen patients who have completely avoidable diseases and others who were born with their conditions. I’ve seen stubborn patients who get mad when the doctor tells them “no”, patients who complain about the whole world, and the gems who listen, follow the doctor’s orders, and keep a smile on their faces. This experience has made me look at stethoscopes differently. I used to see them as simply a listening device. Now, I use words like “responsibility”, “expectation”, “someone’s life”. And that has definitely made me pay attention more in class. This isn’t a game!

-jaz

hitrecord

“Papercut Wishes”

marvel-dc-art

Deadpool v3 #8 - “Runing with the Devil” (2013) pencil & ink by Mike Hawthorne color by Val Staples

Anything you lose from being honest, you never really had to begin with, my love.

Some picture Shereen shared with me

Complete Surrender

It’s not about giving up on your hopes, dreams, wants, desires...

It’s about trusting God and the Universe to respond to your heart in a way that is in your best interest.

Visit Original Link

Lyrics:

HOOK

I’m a winner, a king who went through so much and survived

Imma be fine no matter what happens

We all are winners and we are finally here

Imma give you all I have and everything in my life

VERSE The day everything goes wrong, the day you just wanna give up It ain’t easy sometimes but widen your vision so you can move forward Life is filled with ups and downs So there are going to be times when everything doesn’t go your way But it’s ok cuz everything is going to be all right

HOOK

VERSE 2 I feel your spirit in pain When you don’t have money it’s inconvenient So a man gotta do what he gotta do to make ends meet But no matter what you do for it, never forget your roots I’m already 30 but my ambition for my dream is brand new It’s never too late you can still make it

HOOK

VERSE 3 I gotta admit it I’m so tired in life that I don’t wanna do anything for real Let drinks and trees be my anesthesia to fool myself that it’s all good Don’t let people mistake you from a zombie All my brothers and sisters just keep your heads up It ain’t just you going through some hard times Look around you, someone who’s close to you is lost in a maze Money and fame ain’t everything but without it, its so regular It’s a thin line between failure and success never parallel with the rest be a rebel All my samurais Where the….they go? What you afraid of? What you made of? Life is chaos but everything is gonna be alright Weather is changing

HOOK×2

#kojoe shosha

jet-grind

photojojo

Polaroid dropped the mic with their new Snap Instant Camera.

It’s an instant camera that saves digital too, so you can dole out the prints and still post them on social media.

Check it out here

Dear Antonio,

It’s been one month since I broke your heart.

And I’m done apologizing for it. You see, it wasn’t a mistake - it is only a mistake if we don’t learn from it. I have many, many flaws...and the funny thing about life is that only through pain can real growth happen. You’ve always told me that I need to change. My mother has always told me that I needed to change. My father told me, my sister told me, my grandmother told me, plenty of friends have told me. But the only person I was ever going to listen to was me.

Breaking your heart and experiencing this kind of emptiness is what finally got Jazmine to say “you need to change”.

The first problem was that it needed to get this bad for me to listen. I should have listened to you. If I am to call you my husband one day, then I need to give you permission to tell me what to do and I need to actually listen to your direction.

I have control issues - I’m working on that.

You are ignoring me on purpose, and I get it - you need time and space to heal. I cannot control how much time nor how much space you’ll require...and that freaks me out. I am learning how to be okay with not knowing.

That’s funny...uncertainty is the main reason why I made the decisions I made. It’s one of my biggest fears and now I’m face to face with it.

I’m learning to be patient. I’m slowly getting back to the version of me you feel in love with - with a lot more experience, of course.

I miss you, terribly. It’s still painful to watch our favorite shows alone, wake up and go to sleep alone, go to the gym alone, experience new things that I cannot tell you about (yet).

I hope I get to see you again, soon. #lovebug

Bay area SLAPPER - definitely worth a listen (or two)