jack detler.

❛ 'cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone. it's where you go when you're alone, it's where you go to rest your bones. it's not just where you lay your head, it's not just where you make your bed.

[jckdtlr]

CARMEN

“ I’m gonna take your WORD for it. Really? Like what? Me? You’re an IDIOT. Would you rather me SIT? Aside from moving out of my dad’s, nothing. I’m a pretty BORING person. What about you? ”

      “ Yeah, sitting might help. KIDDING. Oh yeah ? How’s that going ? MISSING him yet ? Let’s see, I went to see ALADDIN the other day ! REALLY good. Man, you can never go WRONG with DISNEY movies. ”

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JAMIE

     ❝ ‘cause you mentioned baking cookies. i just didn’t think you’d actually wanna — you know what, NEVERMIND. i didn’t clean up, wasn’t really expecting anyone, so how about we keep the next step for some other time. got nothing against chocolate chip, i just got something against boring.  live a little, jack. ❞

      “ Is baking cookies really code for you know, BAKING cookies ? I’m more concerned that you find baking cookies BORING, but I’ll hold you to ANOTHER time. What makes you think I’m not living life to the ABSOLUTE fullest potential ? ”

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CARMEN

“ Thanks. I think. I’m glad they don’t turn you on because otherwise this conversation and YOU just got creepy. I’m making you NERVOUS? Me? HOW?? You know, it very well could be the ASSHOLE part of me. You aren’t WRONG there, Detler. ”

     “ It was a compliment, TOTALLY a compliment. Oh, well, a lot of things make me NERVOUS. I just hide it okay-ish for the most part. I don’t know, YOU, just STANDING there. Anyways ! What’s NEW with you, Sutton ? ”

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CARMEN

“ I’m genuinely curious. Oh, yeah. That makes sense, dude. It’s the same being a mortician. Turns out smelling like DEAD bodies is quite the TURN OFF. Your flirting is TERRIBLE. I’ve never had a guy try to flirt with me and call me a cute asshole. It’s a new one. If you weren’t so awkward, I’d probably believe you weren’t. ”

     “ I think you smell NICE. Not that the smell of dead bodies turns me ON, but you don’t smell like dead bodies right now. Unless dead bodies smell weirdly GOOD, in that case, I guess I’ve got a thing for DEAD bodies ! KIDDING, um, I’m usually better at this. TALKING, I mean. Not flirting, because I’m not FLIRTING, you’re just making me NERVOUS. Maybe it’s the ASSHOLE part of you. ”

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CARMEN

“ Aww. My HERO. I’m gonna be that person and ask. WHY are you still single? I don’t care about the Jess’ bit so I’m not gonna ask about that. Hold up. Are you flirting with me? Or at least TRYING TO? ”

     “ ‘Course you are. Um, well, hmm. I just, y’know the BARISTA industry is more INTENSE than people give credit for ! Lots of non-fat soy Americanos, kinda hard to make, doesn’t leave me a lot of time to ... DATE. -- -- -- No ! Why would I, I just, what if I was ? Not saying that I was, because I WASN’T but ... ”

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CARMEN

“ Well, THAT makes one of us. Oh, I know. I’m in that hole. You really haven’t. Do people still like, PINCH your cheeks and make BABY noises? Did you just COMPLIMENT me then manage to INSULT me in the same sentence? IMPRESSIVE. ”

      “ I’ll throw you down a ROPE and help you climb your way out. Thankfully not, when people find out I’m THIRTY it’s more like why are you still SINGLE working a FULL TIME bit at Jess’ ? To which I awkwardly smile and CHANGE the topic ! No ! I didn’t mean to uh, y’know, well yeah, maybe I DID. So you’re a little bit of an ASSHOLE, s’real CUTE though. ”

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CARMEN

“ Are you ALWAYS like this? Optimistic, I mean. You don’t look THIRTY. I’m telling you now. You DON’T want to meet my dad. All you gotta know is that my asshole tendencies are genetic. ”

      “ I sure TRY to be. I think if I started thinking PESSIMISTICALLY I’d get into this like, rabbit hole that I wouldn’t be able to DIG myself out of, y’know ? Well, thank you, I think ? Never really grew out of the whole BABY face. If it’s any consolation, I don’t think you’re an ASSHOLE. Not really. ”

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JAMIE

      ❝ you were a wild one, once? sorry that’s just —– hard to believe. sure, dude, let’s get absolutely black-out drunk. o-okay. didn’t know you had some devil’s lettuce on you. how much?❞

     “ No, I was never WILD. Just used to have an easier time letting LOOSE. Kinda hard now with you know, just making ends MEET and all. What ? Why would you think I had WEED on me ? I was talking CHOCOLATE chip, don’t you like chocolate chip ? ”

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JAMIE

     ❝  yeah, yeah —- you can THANK ME later. even though i take offense: a little drinking doesn’t make you an alcoholic. you just gotta know your limits . . i got some at my place. you never know when you got guests & a good drink overpowers some freshly baked cookies, my man.  ❞

      “ Know your LIMIT, stay WITHIN it ! That’s what they say right ? Or is that only for GAMBLING ? I think it works for BOTH. In any case, young me couldn’t get ENOUGH of alcohol. Now I can’t even remember the last time I got PROPER drunk. Ooh, can we bake COOKIES too ? ”

[jckdtlr]

the four replies i have left will cometh tmrw !

[jckdtlr]

CARMEN

“ Yanno, if someone could have told me when I was younger that I’d hate my life by the time I’m 30, I’d have wanted my subscription cancelled. You don’t wanna know my dad. He’s cool, don’t get me wrong. He’s not really a people person. ”

       “ I have FULL faith we’re both on the UP and UP now, as for me, I just turned THIRTY and I couldn’t feel better ! I just KNOW good things are in store. They HAVE to be, it’s been THIRTY years ! I like NOT-PEOPLE person’s, they always seem like they have the most INTERESTING stories up their sleeves. ”

[jckdtlr]

EMMA

❛ MASH is the game you play with the … numbers and the things you write down for your future when you’re in elementary school. You know — Mansion, apartment, shack, house? Between our different definitions and your tolerance of jogging in the AFTERNOON – when people can SEE you … the similarities are fading, Detler. Don’t tell me you think tomatoes are a fruit, too.  ❜

       “ Uh, I don’t think I ever PLAYED that. Seems FUN, though. I choose MANSION ! Really ? Don’t break my HEART like that. What’s wrong with people SEEING you ? All the more chance to INEVITABLY bump into someone because you got DISTRACTED watching the SQUIRRELS, and ta-da ! Just like that you have the start to an INSTANT love story. I’m not sure what they are Emma, I just know I’m NOT a fan. Except on pizza. AND in pasta.”

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JAMIE

     ❝ yeah. yeah, no —- not that one. you’ll get a new chance some other time. well, i don’t know. never tried that, but i’m really feeling it right now. that’s how the best of things happen, mark my words. if everyone thought like you, scotch muffins would’ve never been discovered. or as i call them, hangover for breakfast. ❞

      “ You really are a CREATIVE soul. You’ll make ALCOHOLICS out of the best of us ! Alright, let’s go get a MUFFIN. And then dip the HECK out of it. Where do we get the SCOTCH ? ”

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CARMEN

“ Not many people these days are. Nah. I just know that if I let on that I’m not happy, he’ll look at me like I’m some wounded puppy and I’d rather NOT. ”

      “ Kinda SAD, don’t you think ? Who knew HAPPINESS would be so HARD ? Ah, I think that’s the job of ALL dad’s. But I’m sure if he KNEW, he’d just want to HELP. Well, I don’t know your dad, but if I were a dad, that’s what I would DO. ”

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CARMEN

“ Truthfully? It’s gonna sound so cheesy but to be HAPPY. Like genuinely happy, not ‘oh fuck i need to please my dad’ happy. ”

     “ S’not CHEESY at all. Honesty is always REFRESHING. Your Pop a tough man to PLEASE ? ”

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JAMIE

    ❝ got no idea! you look pretty clean to me. smell okay, too. i think it’s rhymes that gets people going. see, i know my AUDIENCE. my treat, detler —- my treat. now, now, way to go overboard. how ‘bout we dip it in some scotch? ❞

      “ Well I DID shower this morning ! You’re probably RIGHT, every birthday years should have a fun but IRRELEVANT rhyme. Thirty one ... NERDY PUN ? Dip it in SCOTCH ? Is that a thing that people DO ? Kinda seems like it wouldn’t TASTE very good. ”

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CARMEN

“ I can relate. I have never gotten anything i WANT a day in my life. ”

     “ Well now’s a good a time to START as any. Do tell, what’s it that you’re LOOKING for outta LIFE ? ”