can you pleeeease post some stories about/from OMD?
i’ll set the stage: picture a 5′6″ 80 year old man with giant blue eyes and shaggy white hair that is a mix between surfer bro and old man. he’s almost always wearing a jumpsuit and hasn’t purchased new clothes since the 80s or sometihng.
he called me at 11:30 PM when he knew I was in bed. he knew i was in bed because he had been talking to me through my bedroom window for an hour about how he is convinced someone broke into his house in 1949 through the bedroom window. he didn’t live there in 1949. i was like, OMD. it is my bedtime. i know you stay up until 4 AM and sleep until 2 PM every day, but I gotta get up at 7 for work. and he said, “i just had to tell you that i found a picture of my brother in law and i can’t WAIT to show you tomorrow” and then talked at me for 15 minutes (from 4 feet away - literally, our houses are really close together) about his brother in law who is now dead.
he’s lived on our street his ENTIRE life - he was born a few blocks down the road, moved a few blocks up the road as a teen, and bought the house in the 70s. he knows EVERYTHING about the neighborhood.
when i was moving in a few years ago, he sauntered out of his house and sat on the back of the moving truck uninvited, made a skeptical face, and shouted, “WHO are YOU!?” at me. my mom was convinced he was going to murder me for so long. i thought he was so weird at first and my mom was like “someday you’ll just be like, oh don’t mind dan, he’s harmless, he’s just my wacky neighbor” and it’s so true.
he casually drops the craziest stuff into conversation and i never believed him at first but i’ve been fact checking and EVERYTHING he says is true. in one of our first conversations he dropped that my house used to be a brothel and a sex worker owned it and that he was a millionaire and owned property in 5 different states and i didn’t believe him but it’s all true.
sometimes he brings me $5 giftcards to trader joes because he knows i like to buy cookies from there, but scolds me about eating junk food. he’s EXTREMELY healthy and goes to a naturopath. i wish i could post a picture of him but that would be creepy and he HATES the internet - he doesn’t even have a cell phone.
he doesn’t own any big knives so he will leave watermelons on my back porch with a note asking me to cut them in half for him. he always gives me half.
he calls me his favorite friend and i told him about being in a bad spot when i was a young teen and last night while i was talking to him through my bedroom window he said “I’m just really glad you didn’t kill yourself when you were younger.” and it made me cry lol. i love him a lot he’s my surrogate grandpa. he never married or had kids. he waits for me in my backyard when i get home from work almost every day and tries to get me to hang out with him but i usually just want to go inside and chill, i try to hang out with him as much as possible.
he told me he’d never had a birthday party before so last year i threw him a garden party and baked him his favorite kind of cake and some of my friends came over and it was great.
he also hates taxes, trump, the government, and goes to a bunch of neighborhood anti gentrification meetings lol.
kaledo-art
prguitarman
romaincrisis
jbbartram-illu
ellievsbear
blakekathryn
janainaart
