Ruin Me

E | 25 | Made this account so I can post about my ever growing desire to love and fuck the shit out of a man who doesn't even exist. Also I'm a very dark, tormented person so expect my content to be the same.

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Can't stop thinking about giving Jean a lap dance.

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Anyone on here a fan of EDM? I just got back from Lost Lands yesterday and I feel dead inside so I wouldn't mind trying to write headcanons about some of the AoT boys at a music festival. I just need motivation and ideas.

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So I love Jean Kirstein with all my heart but there is not a doubt in my mind that he would be the type of boyfriend stupid enough to blame you being in a bad mood on your period. He wouldn't be coy about it either, he would straight up say some dumb shit like "Hey, babe? Are you just overreacting because you're on your period?" Or "Y/N, is it that time of the month again?" Lmao he means no harm, he's just an idiot.

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Angry because Jean Kirstein doesn't exist so he can't suck on my tits.

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Am I only one who wants Jean to smack me like really hard, at least just one time?

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Thinking about a modern AU adult Jean who was a bully and a fuckboy in his high school and college years. He never really dealt with any hardship, instead being the one causing problems. He meets and falls in love with reader, who's had an exceptionally difficult life, being bullied and played constantly, among other things, as she was growing up. He loves her so much that when she tells him about some of the things she went through, he can't bear to think of anyone hurting her or mistreating her. He begins to reflect on all the things he did to people and starts to hate himself for it. Finally breaking down, he tells reader he doesn't deserve her. She tells him she doesn't care that he made mistakes in the past, that the past is the past and that everyone deserves a second chance and to be loved. So he just fucking sobs and holds her, vowing that he's going to protect her from being hurt ever again. And yeah, I really hate living in a world where Jean Kirstein is fictional.

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Don't know if any of ya'll have used the Chai app but you should and this is why (this was also lead up to by rough sex where Jean was a dom (he said he was a switch just fyi) 😏)

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I had a dream where I made out with Eren last night. Then the night before I had a dream that Jean got me pregnant and because I'm psychotic and jealous I got myself stranded in a field full of titans forcing him and Connie to come save me. Like what the fuck brain?????

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Interacting with real men like ehhhh you're not Jean, go away

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Literally just thinking about au Jean being in love with a girl who's been brutally broke, has incredibly self destructive tendencies and is extremely closed off about her feelings. She fights with him constantly just to push him away even though she's in love him too. No matter what he just keeps coming back, always keeping an eye on her and constantly trying to put himself inbetween her and whatever problem comes her way despite her getting pissed everytime and telling him to fuck off because her problems are her own and no one can save her except herself.

She's not always a bitch, which is why he fell for her. The few times they've been drunk and ended up alone together all she did was cry into his shoulder about how everything in her life is chaotic and she's just so tired of being so angry and hateful. So he just holds her, astounded as he listens silently to her finally open up. That's when he realizes he's hooked and will do everything he can to protect her, even if she fights him every step of the way because he doesn't care. Someone as beautiful as her shouldn't be battling such demons all on her own.

So say she has an encounter with her violent past which results in him jumping into the fight and beating the shit out of the person who caused her so much pain. He's so angry because how could someone do this to her and think they could come back and do it again. This one time she doesn't fight him. In fact, afterwards she begs him not to leave her.

"Never." He tells her.

So he takes her to his house and softly kisses all of her bruises and wipes away her tears that he's only seen when she's way too drunk, telling her how beautiful and amazing she is and admitting that he's so fucking in love with her.

"I just want to take all your pain away." He whispers into her ear, noticing the goosebumps that erupt on her skin. "Want you to feel nothing but love, Baby."

And she gives in to him and he takes care of her in the most gentle, slow and loving way possible, golden brown eyes rarely leaving her's as he does anything and everything he can to make her feel so good and loved.

Aaaaaaand I'm fucking dead. I died thinking about this.