JeenarJ (ژینەر)

full time dreamer, part time traveler insta/jen95ner

[mayonezli]

[jeenarj]

Happy birthday to me as of start of this morning only one concerto dominated my mind since i woke up which is Rachmaninoff’s Concerto No. 2 in C Minor 2nd movement and strangely enough i looked into the history of composition of this wonderful piece. And as always the coincidences of my life match perfectly with the timings when life echos around me. Like Rachmaninoff I was going through very difficult depression and only yesterday I was able to conquer it and tame that beast in thats been lurking within me for quite sometime. He wrote the second movement of his concerto after he was able to recover from the depression, writer’s block and the lack of self esteem that he was struggling from with help of his psychiatrist and friends and family.

May the bridges we burnt light the way.

[cyberxbattalion]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Margaret Atwood, The Blind Assassin

[ur-daily-inspiration]

[neverlvnd]

X

[shisasan]

mysterious longings

September 19, 1926 Journals of Anais Nin 1923-1927 [volume 2]

[ruhaniya]

No I won’t reach out, but I’ll always answer.

[deuil2000-blog]

[jeenarj]

In the end we cant chose the melancholy that chase us like the love we never received.

And here I am listening to this lovely song and remembering how unfortunate I am to be found by melancholy for a dream that never was mine.

شم اليسمينة

و دوق الدبس بطحينة

و تذكر..

تذكر، تذكر تذكرني

يا اخي أوعا تنساني

يا حبيبي

يا نصيبي

كان بودي خليك بقربي

عرفك عأهلي وتتوجلي قلبي

اطبخ أكلتك أشطفلك بيتك

دلع ولادك أعمل ست بيتك

بس إنت ببيتك و أنا بشي بيت

والله يا ريتك ما بعمرك فليت

و شم اليسمينة

و تذكر تنساني

Uppsala, Sweden

[neckkiss]

“I found peace in your violence”

— Marshmello

[ruhaniya]

Now you are just a stranger with all my secrets

[syrenaaaa]

“كل ما تسألني كيفك، بتذكّر إنّي مش منيح.. يعني بتعرف، لو بلاه هالسؤال، اوميلي بإيدك بس تلتقي فيي، بكون ممنونك.. لأنو صراحةً أنا مش منيح! بس معقول تقلي “كيفك”، وقلّك “مش منيح”؟ بدّك موضوع من غيمة إنت! إذا سمعت إنّي مش منيح، بدّك تسألني “ليه؟”، وخودّ بقى إذا قلتلك ليه، ما بعود بس مش منيح، بتصير حالتي تتدهور أنا وعم برويلك.. تركني خيي، أنا بيني وبين حالي ماشي، عأساس إنّو يالله، منيح، ماشي الحال، ماشي أنا والحال.. كيف الحال؟ كيفني أنا؟ وأكيد مش منيح، بس انا مزبطها.. مرجلجها، وما بفكّر فيها، ولا مرّة سألت حالي ع العالي “كيفك منيح؟”، وهالأيام ماشية، سيبها بهمها يا أخي، وخلينا نسلّم بالوَمَا!”

— زياد الرحباني من برنامج “العقل زينة” الإذاعي (via broadcastlife)

[mournfulroses]

Anaïs Nin, from a diary entry featured in The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume 2: 1934-1939

[jeenarj]

This year felt like this song on the loop.

[mournfulroses]

Nikolay Punin, from a diary entry featured in The Diaries of Nikolay Punin: 1904 - 1953

[20aliens-deactivated20200625]

[water-aesthetics]