(II.) Unrequited Love
Summary: When he realizes his feelings for you but also realizes that his feelings will never be returned back.
Relationships:
🌹Riddle Rosehearts x Reader (Twisted Wonderland)
🦁 Leona Kingscholar x Reader (Twisted Wonderland)
Fandom: Twisted Wonderland
☆ Category: (Character x GN Reader)
☆ Archive Warning: Angst, mentions of child abuse, and my poor attempt in comedy
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🌹 Riddle Rosehearts 🌹 ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
🌹• Practice. Study. Train.
🌹• His whole life was narrowed down to a path of fullfilling the expectations that his mother has for him.
🌹• …Anything else was a distraction.
🌹• And to stay in that path is to follow the rules.
🌹• Rules are what sets us to return to that path, preventing us from wandering elsewhere.
🌹• Look foward. Move forward. Don’t be distracted by anything else that comes from the sides. Those things would only hold him back, that’s what his mother would say.
🌹• Yet sometimes, his eyes would linger on the strawberry tart displayed in the bakery store.
🌹• Oh, how his hands wanted to reach it.
🌹• …But the only thing his hands can reach is another textbook that was given by his mom that told him to study this next.
🌹• One day, he almost stray away from that path when he chose to spend time with Trey and Che’nya, but it confused him, because even though he is not doing what his mother told him, he was so happy. He was never this happy before.
🌹• But that newfound happiness later turned to a deep regret when his mom discovered the truth that he disobeyed her.
🌹• Now the only happiness he had in entire childhood was taken away from him because he broke a rule.
🌹• Ever since that incident, he promised to himself that he would never waver from his path again.
🌹• But no matter how much books he had read, it wouldn’t help him to be prepared for the next thing…
🌹• The next thing that will make him waver in his path once again.
🌹• That next thing was your unexpected presence in NCR.
🌹• He always took pride in knowing everything yet your presence made him feel at loss.
🌹• He doesn’t know what he should do, what should he act, or what he should say. Those were his feelings around you and he doesn’t know what to describe it.
🌹• It felt like his entire worldview was shaken… All because of you.
🌹• He does have some superiority complex in him, but he does know when to swallow down his pride if it means to be better. So about this internal dilemma he has when it comes to you, the people he had chosen to ask this was Cater and Trey about this weird heart condition in which his heart beats faster whenever you are nearby.
🌹• He pouted when the two responded with laughter. Sorry, the two did try hard to hold back their laughter but they just couldn’t.
🌹• Cater then switched his language from English dictionary to Cater-dictionary #RiddleIsInLove #Wow #Hashtag #RoseHeartMoreLikeHeartYouYuu
🌹• While the other sighed as he stopped Cater from posting the news, after that, he began to explain these things to Riddle.
🌹• “I’m in love with the prefect…?”
🌹• Trey nodded, while Cater chuckled again, willing to offer him advice- but Riddle answered there is no need.
🌹• Love? Isn’t that just another term of infatuation? Just an imbalance of chemicals in the brain… Feelings that will naturally fade over time.
🌹• He doesn’t understand what’s the fuss all over such a concept when it all depends on temporary emotions, clearly there are other matters that’s more productive to be invested in than that. Very well, he shall let this fade with time then return back to focusing his studies.
🌹• It’s just another distraction afterall.
🌹• And he has no room to spare for another set of distraction in the path that he must stay focused on.
🌹• Yet time proved him wrong. These feelings he has for you, didn’t fade at all. It had only gotten stronger instead, becoming a detrimental distraction to his work.
🌹• He was horrified with himself in noticing how he found himself thinking about you from time to time when he was supposed to be studying!
🌹• Fine then… Maybe he shouldn’t have ignored these matters at all, that he should finally settled on it once and for all.
🌹• Still, that doesn’t mean he would blurt these out to you in such an impulsive manner. He has to be prepared for this first!
🌹• And who knew, there would ever come a day that the dorm leader of Heartslabyul would be found in a romance section in a library, not to mention, how his face was all red, to the point that his face matches his hair, like a strawberry head, when reading these.
🌹• Pining you to a wall? He would do no such thing! Things like these make you remember that underneath that fearsome perfectionist figure is just a boy that’s awkward when it comes to these aspects.
🌹• Excluding those he deemed too scandalous for his own liking, he initiated those advices found in the book to try it out to you but the results has always been a failure
🌹• Maybe this book was just a scam or you’re the densest of them all
🌹• But whatever it is, your close companions, Ace and Grim did get to know what’s going on (Deuce also got to know from Ace and Grim stating the obvious to him)
🌹• So yeah, obviously for not the reason out of the good-will of his heart, Ace confronted about this to Riddle, before Riddle would deny it (Nothing good can come out of it if Ace is involved after all), but Ace made convincing point that since he’s one of your friends that you’re the closest to, wouldn’t that make him the best to ask advice from when it comes to you?
🌹• And who knew there will ever come a day that Riddle will accept advice from someone like Ace.
🌹• And it’s the same reason again why… All because of you.
🌹• ‘Pick-Up-Lines’ - That’s what Ace suggested first though, Riddle was getting second-thoughts about this, but it’s not like he had any options left, doesn’t he?
🌹• So when he tried on pick-up-lines on you- and then he stuttered- He, who was not afraid to speak in front of the crowd, had just stuttered- He had never been more ashamed of himself until now (Okay, so more than the time when you overblot, Riddle? okay then, carry on ;;)
🌹• So that was a failure.
🌹• Grim laughed, and when he received a glare from Riddle, he immediately added how he was not making fun of him, he was making fun of Ace’s idea that was so dumb.
🌹• Ace frowned, saying that he was just goofing off, he knew pick-up-lines are just dumb, it was just funny if Riddle actually tried it and he actually did, he quickly regretted his words when he forgot that Riddle was just standing right there.
🌹• “OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”
🌹• After a collared Ace’s incident, it was Grim’s turn to suggest an idea… and that idea brings another-collection-of-Riddle’s-face-matching-his-hair-compilation.
🌹• ‘The Kabedon’
🌹• It only ended akwardly.
🌹• Another failure then, and also another one that’s going to be ‘off-your-head’ collared again.
🌹• Deuce, bless his sweet heart, despite being less experienced compared to Ace, had actually proposed a decent idea which was to give you a homemade food.
🌹• But considering Riddle’s cooking skills, that probably wasn’t a good idea… And that realization came too late when you accidentally blanched from the strawberry tart he gave to you.
🌹• Another failure again.
🌹• “This was a mistake…” He muttered quietly as he excused himself then went back to his own dorm.
🌹• All this time of him trying to court you has been a waste of time… When he could have spend this extra time to work and study more. How could he let this happen-
🌹 Your face appeared in his mind when he asked that question.
🌹• He was only doing these things so he could return to what he was supposed to be doing.
🌹• He sighs, if only you didn’t enter into his life, then this wouldn’t have happen.
🌹• You weren’t supposed to be in this school in the first place anyway.
🌹• And he wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you.
🌹• Yet it happened.
🌹• You are here.
🌹• And that he fell for you.
🌹• You were a distraction that just won’t go away.
🌹• He heard a knock from his door, when he went to open it, it was Trey checking up if he’s alright.
🌹• He already knows from the expression of his face that Trey learned what happened earlier from the concerned expression on his face.
🌹• ‘It was just a mishap. A error in my part’ He said, adding how he would never do it again.
🌹• From the look of sadness that Riddle has in his face, it made Trey remember his regrets in the past, where he should have called out to his friend about his tyranny sooner, and him acted too late contributed to his overblot where he almost have died, but this time, he won’t keep his words to himself anymore, for the sake of his friend’s happiness.
🌹• Trey snapped him out of it, advising him to not supress his feelings again, and to follow and act on it.
🌹• “If they make you that happy, then is it really that bad?”
🌹• He was right. You did make him happy.
🌹• And a regret of giving up on it is a regret that he’ll never live it down
🌹• He cannot afford himself to make that mistake.
🌹• It turns out that the other heartslabyul were peeking over the door.
🌹• “Yeah! Go for it, Riddle! #FollowYourHeart.” Cater cheered. “You even took advice from someone like Ace and Deuce which means that you’re whipped for that prefect, huh?”
🌹• “Haha, what a simp- wait, what do you mean by that?” Ace glared at Cater.
🌹• While Deuce defended himself that he didn’t have any relationship before, earning a laugh from Ace, replying back to Deuce if that’s an attempt to save face then he’s doing the opposite since he exposed he has no relationship experience at all.
🌹• Deuce argued back that he’s worser because despite Ace having history when it comes to relationships, he still didn’t know what to do so no wonder his past relationships fell apart- Oh great, the two are bickering once again.
🌹• Cater is that student that goes “fight! fight! fight!” when they witness a sight between schoolmates as he slowly pulled out his phone to record this argument.
🌹• “None of you should be in a relationship.” Trey muttered tiredly, hopefully Riddle will do better than them- Crap, that reminds him! He turned back to Riddle, hoping that the sight of Ace and Deuce fighting again will detonate a bomb aka Riddle.
🌹• Too bad Trey’s wishes didn’t come true, as the walking bomb dorm leader snapped at the two, proclaiming one of his rules with a mad look of his face, giving them punishment to assign them a task
🌹• What a couple of troublemakers… Ace, Deuce, Grim and You always making a mess, causing more troubles in his life.
🌹• …But he would be lying if he said he didn’t have any fun.
🌹• Then Riddle received a message from you through Grim, to meet you outside the Ramshackle dorm.
🌹• When he arrived, he saw you sitting on a picnic mat with snacks and sweets placed on it. You invited him to a picnic?
🌹• Considering the surroundings, its not exactly one would think for a spot fitting to have a picnic, but if he’s in your company, then he didn’t it mind that much.
🌹• But there should be something that should settled first, he apologized to you about how he acted strangely these past few days, after he handed you a boquet of roses.
🌹• He ended up being surprised when you easily forgave him though.
🌹• Riddle still felt remorseful about it which is expressed by his guilty expression which made you worried because Riddle is someone that is harsh on others, but the one he is harsh on the most, is himself.
🌹• “You’re not a machine, Riddle. You’re human just like the rest of us. It’s natural for us humans to make mistakes… but from our mistakes, is where we allow ourselves to grow.” You said softly with your eyes on the boquet of roses. “Imperfect but that’s what makes it beautiful. That’s how living life is.”
🌹• While you were staring at the roses, Riddle looks at you. You were imperfect too… but that doesn’t make you any less beautiful than you already are.
🌹• Then you confessed that is why you prepared this picnic for him since you were worried that he might been pushing himself lately, so you wanted to give him a break.
🌹• It might not be as grand as his tea parties but you hope that at least it's enough for him to appreciate.
🌹• This picnic date wasn’t perfect at all, but you are happy and he was happy. And isn’t that enough?
🌹• He smiled back. “Of course, I appreciate it.”
🌹• Appreciated your concern. Appreciated your tea. Appreciated your kindness. Appreciated that he got to meet someone like you.
🌹• He was taught by following by his mother’ rules, he would finally found that happiness he was seeking for ever since he was young,
🌹• That’s why he was paranoid when you became a distraction to him when he’s supposed to be focusing on his path.
🌹• The path that he thought could finally make him reach that happiness.
🌹• …But it turns out, he found that happiness from you instead.
🌹• He was ashamed of himself, of almost wishing for you to go away, even though, deep down, he was happier when you were in his life, and if life allows it, he wanted you to stay.
🌹• That’s why from now on, he wanted to make his own path.
🌹• A path where you, Trey, Che’nya, and the others are in it.
🌹• He thought that what his mother has done to him was out of love…. but no, that’s wasn’t love is.
🌹• The way you were patient with him, caring about his feelings, accepting him despite his flaws, supporting him to be a better person is what love really is.
🌹• You made him confused. You made him anxious… but you also made him happy.
🌹• And most importantly, you made him feel loved.
🌹• So… this is what people mean by love then?
🌹• He wanted to experience it in a lifetime with you.
🌹• So when you two accidentally said about wanting to tell something important at the same time. He insisted for you to go first.
🌹• But when you said the news, Riddle felt himself hesitate to what he was supposed to say.
🌹• Especially when the news you told him was that Crowley finally found a way to send you back home.
🌹• You apologized, you really would miss them but you have a life back there. A life back that you could not just abandon.
🌹• He was so focused on what path he should took, that he almost forgot that you have your own path too
🌹• A path that’s far too away from his.
🌹• And when you asked him what’s something important that he was gonna tell you. Riddle replied that it’s nothing.
🌹• He lied. He doesn’t want his own grief to ruin your happiness even if it means breaking a rule.
🌹• And how he felt so envious of how can someone be so happy when returning back to their homes.
🌹• When that day finally arrived where you will go back to your home, the other students were there to bid you a goodbye.
🌹• Riddle thanked you, thanking you for everything you have done for them, and thanking everything you done for him.
🌹• You smiled, then confessed how you were nervous that you have overstayed in this place for too long especially when someone magicless like you don’t have a place for place of magic afterall.
🌹• Is this what you felt all this time when you stayed here? It was because of him and the others, isn’t it? How his issues and the others made you feel so unwelcomed… Maybe if they have done better then maybe… you would have stayed a little longer.
🌹• But he wanted to correct you, telling you that you were wrong because… “There is always a place for you in the Heartslabyul dorm… As long as you follow the rules, of course.”
🌹• “And if there ever comes a day, where you managed to visit us again, I will make sure to welcome you.”
🌹• His words made you smile. It was a sight that he never fails to see how beautiful it is, but it was also a sight that he’s never going to see again.
🌹• “Then he said the most word he dreaded to say to you which is a “Goodbye.” because it sounds like he’s accepting that you might never be in his life again.
🌹• And how he also dreaded to hear that word from you, but it was your last words to him before you return back to your own world.
🌹• Ever since that day, a certain seat that is next to Riddle’s seat, the one that’s always reserved for you in tea parties of the Heartslabyul dorm, is now always empty.
🌹• Time has passed ever since you returned to your home, Riddle has also returned to his original path now.
🌹• Study… Train… Work…
🌹• No more distractions anymore…
🌹• That’s what he said to himself as he stared at the page of a text book he’s reading right now, but that page sooner or later was tainted with his tears
🌹• Even after your disappearance, there’s still something that you left for him that he doesn’t know how to handle, which is a broken heart.
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🦁 Leona Kingscholar 🦁
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
🦁• “Leonaaa~!” You chimed out his name in a sweet sing-song tune, earning an annoyed grumble from the grumpy beastman who rolled over to the other side of his bed.
🦁• Yet despite his sour-grumpy reaction, it didn’t dampen your mood, in fact, it even encouraged you to shower him more affection, as you caressed his long hair, enjoying how soft it was.
🦁•“…Quit that.” Leona grumbled again. “It’s hard to fall asleep when you keep flapping and yapping all over the bed.”
🦁• Before you could even respond to that, you were immediately scooped up by him to a tight embrace “There, now you finally stopped moving.”
🦁• You chuckled, nuzzling closer to his chest.
🦁• The next time he sees when he woke up is a empty spot next to him, there was no traces of you at all to ever lie there.
🦁• His eyes twitched, did he just dreamt of the two of you cuddling?
🦁• Leona scoffed at the thought, then closed his eyes, falling back to another deep slumber again.
🦁• “Leona! Have a taste of this!” You eagerly said, as you shoved meat to his mouth, surprising him.
🦁• He told you off, yet when you drew away back with a sad look, he said he didn’t say anything about you stopping, and this made you smile again and eagerly feed you again.
🦁• Leona’s eyes widened open again… Only to find himself alone in his bed again. His eye twitched again, It’s another dream about you and him.
🦁• Let’s just say, he didn’t sleep well that night.
🦁• And those dreams he’s been getting about the two of you in romantic scenarious didn’t stop in one night, to his dismay, he’s been getting those dreams frequently each day. He can’t even sleep without dreaming you acting all lovey-dovey towards him.
🦁• One day, he woke up early by himself, much to the surprise of Ruggie and Jack. He just needs something else to do that can help him get rid of you on his mind, and its clear to him that not even a nap won’t help that.
🦁• He even went to his classes this time, the lecture still bored him out though, so his eyes just wandered and it ended landing on you.
🦁• You have that determined look on your as you listening attentively to the teacher. You look like a dork.
🦁• A dork that keeps haunting his dreams, that is. You resting your head over his shoulder… You hugging him from behind… You caressing his long hair…
🦁• He had been snapped out his thoughts when the teacher called out to him- Not only did his eyes wandered but also his own thoughts to, and you are the one to be blamed for both.
🦁• Oh great, now he’s even daydreaming about you.
🦁• Even Ruggie was able to pin-point this out, even teasing Leona about it until Leona gave him a look that shut him up.
🦁• He was not a dumbass, he knew what all this means but he’s too prideful to admit such things.
🦁• He already has enough nuisances in his life so why does he have to deal with this too? He wish he could sleep this off, but then that would mean he would be getting another dream of you and him.
🦁• The next time he saw you, it was during PE class, you look so troubled in trying to handle the broom, so when you even manage to leviate it a little, you end up losing off your balance. Luckily for you, Leona caught your fall.
🦁• You were about to thank him- if it wasn’t for him calling you an idiot that you’re not only magicless, but can’t even handle a broom.
🦁• Your gratefulness for him immediately switched to anger fast, telling him that you will shove this broom up his ass.
🦁• Threatening the dorm leader of savanaclaw? That took some guts and (also losing couple of braincells) for you to be able to pull off something like that.
🦁• Leona chuckled, telling you that how can you even hurt the dorm-leader of savanaclaw, when you can’t even learn how to fly a broom.
🦁• You just pouted, saying you’ll show him, then attempt to try flying the broom once again, with no progress at all.
🦁• Leona lets out a sigh, pointing out how you’re doing it wrong, and joined you, taking control of the broom while you’re behind him.
🦁• Leona quickly fly the broom too high for your liking, you let out a yelp of suprise and embraced him from behind which made Leona laugh again.
🦁• He did that on purpose to tease you! You would have punch him if it wasn’t for you clinging his back in fear of falling off.
🦁• It was amusing for him to seeing how much expressions you can display as the two of you continue flying the broom. From shock to fear to anger to genuinely having fun.
🦁• As the two of you finally reached back to the ground. You immediately clapped, complimenting him how amazing he is, even asking him to be your own tutor in how to fly!
🦁• Leona raised a brow. Bold of you to assume that he would ever accept tutoring a amateur like you?
🦁• Still, he would try to check you in your practice from time-to-time, only to watch you embarass yourself- and that's the closest thing he can express in accepting your offer.
🦁• The next day, he dreamt about the same thing that happened yesterday of the two of you flying, the only difference was, instead of him teasing you, you were the one being a lil shit, in trying to pepper kisses in the back of his neck which made him almost lose his hold on the broom, after that, he turned to scowl at you but the dream you just giggled woth no regrets then peck his cheek.
🦁• once again, he woke up early again, Ruggie and Jack were still suprised to it even though this routine is kinda getting more frequent.
🦁• It felt like something had changed him ever since then.
🦁• Like he was looking forward to each day he woke up more than the day almost ending.
🦁• Is it because he was eager to help you out in flying?
🦁• Or is it because he wants to show off his flying skills that's more impressive than your mediocre skills?
🦁• ...yeah the latter seems more likely
🦁• Just for the sports of riling you up.
🦁• That mad face of yours wasn’t even intimidating in the slightest…
🦁• It was actually cute.
🦁• And even how it made you envious, it didn’t made you lose your motivation, it just made you more determined than yesterday. You have shown no sign of giving up at all.
🦁• He might not be impressed by your flying skills but he was impressed about your unwavering will.
🦁• One day, you finally shown progress in flying to him, saying you couldn’t have done this without his help, and a thank you.
🦁• You appreciated his help.
🦁• You recognized one of his talents and even praised for it.
🦁• If he was a sap, he would have said ‘thank you’ to you too for making him feel he had regained something he had loss back then… which was having a sense of purpose… and that purpose was to make you suck less in flying lessons.
🦁• It was small but hey, progress takes small steps. Not only were you improving but he was also improving too.
🦁• But he’s a tsundere, so he just gave you a pat on the head and told you that rest is the best way to celebrate.
🦁• You pouted, saying you have more energy to spare, but Leona knows you have been pushing yourself too much wihout rest so he’s giving you the rest you need even if it means he has to drag you to his bed. In the end, you slept anyway because the bed was too comfy lmao.
🦁• …Everything felt alright until the day, he spotted Malleus leaning so close to you- That’s when Leona stepped between you and him, maybe even growled.
🦁• The next thing that happened is Leona was grabbing your arm to a place where the two of you are finally alone. Leona looks pissed off, mumbling the nerve of that pompous prince to even pull off a move like that without your consent-
🦁• That’s when you finally spoke, saying to Leona to not speak of your boyfriend like that. Explaining how before Leona interrupted them, Malleus confessed to you and that you accepted- which made Leona stare at you silently.
🦁• So there was no chance, huh? No matter how much he tried.
🦁• Sigh, It's always the same like his childhood, which is to always lose against someone despite how much he worked so hard
🦁• Now he remembers why he doesn’t even try anymore because no matter what he does, even if he works the hardest, there will always be someone better than him.
🦁• That’s what his life has always been
🦁• How could he think it would be any different?
🦁• …All because he saw the way you smiled at him, he let himself be an idiot to dare to even hope-
🦁• -That maybe he could finally be someone’s number one
🦁• But that dream would only stay as a dream
🦁• His silence made you concerned, and you asked him what’s wrong until he rest his head on your shoulder.
🦁• “What do you see in him anyway, herbivore… Why couldn’t it be me instead?”
🦁• He sounded hurt.
🦁• Before you could even respond, Leona already separated himself from you. His back already facing you. He waved you off, saying that he’s losing his sleep over this dumb flying training where you barely progress at all.
🦁• He quit training you.
🦁• Not only that, but he quit in hoping that he will ever be special to someone.
🦁• He was hoping that someone was you… but…
🦁• …Life has always been a losing battle to him anyway
🦁• It’s better to sleep it all off…
🦁• At least in his dreams, he can get lost in those moments with you. Dreams where you loved him instead of someone else.
🦁• As if it was even possible, but he felt more tired and slept more than usual.
🦁• But dreams are fleeting…
🦁• He would eventually wake up and has to face the harsh truth that none of those moments with you were real as he looks at the empty spot next to him, wishing you were there beside him.
🦁• Now his dreams feel like they were mocking him…
🦁• Because in reality, all these dreams would come true but instead of him, it's someone else who is sharing these moments with you.
NOTES-----------------------------------------
Rant: Tumblr whyyyy, why do you have to make this more difficult for me, the app doesn’t even save the changes I made sometimes, and even deletes some of the things I wrote (which is why I couldn’t made this one longer) T-T
☆ Not gonna lie but formatting this took longer than writing the actual content
☆ It's been a while since i publish something again, sorry about that! Been busy lately- scratch that, i'm still busy, but writing these kind of headcanons is fun for me!
☆ Also thank you so much for the likes, reblogs, comments, and follows! Each of them just makes me happier to continue writing more, I appreciate you all so much! <3