Humble Mumblr

Poems and rants and stories about weirdness. Don't worry about making sense.

[jeffadams]

Found this one a while ago while trolling the youtube. Shit grows on you like nose hair.

[jeffadams]

Why?

Kids ask ‘why’

and then ‘why’ and ‘how come’ and ‘how so?’

Answer honest every time.

Why, it is so, because.

Because!

The arbitrary nature of nature is a lesson best learned early,

But I couldn’t tell you why.

[jeffadams]

Day Lengths

Long day ahead

Ran a few half-miles on wet grasses

Rain filled that stream

And I’m still trudging

These people are dear to me

I’ll write each a letter in the end

For to let them know what I’ve felt

For to forget to show care is a missed opportunity

Walk it off

Long day ahead

Bring your umbrella

Call it a katana

Swing it like a sword

Fighting off the drops with slashes and slices

Lonely is lonelier when I’m alone

Leave me be to explore my eccentricities

Growing stranger everyday with the world

It is nice to grow together

When the world and you are wanting

My mind is on sleep because I can’t do it

Friends of mine sleep better than me

I wonder why I can’t do it

Can insomnia be my friend

in the end?

I have that calm though

Look at me go

I go deliberate and slow

Place each foot carefully

Don’t heel-strike

‘Walk when you want and run when you’re awake’

That’s what he said and I did it

Run the library route at 3 AM

3 miles in the loop

Return that overdue book

It’s overdue and you don’t read it when you can’t sleep

Maybe that might work but the motivation escapes

Before the mind and body can agree to collaborate

Just think

The mind gets tired with all the thoughts it must do

Do them still for it’s thought to be good

Think and make words

Think and draw

You can grow a tattoo

Make a mess and forget to wash your hands

Pant legs make for great napkins in a bind

Long day ahead

The head does droop with the eyes

I think of that puppy

Trying to stay awake

And that head drooping with the eyes

Several times before jolting upright

And eventually giving in to restfulness

Work to do so don’t do like the pup

Long day ahead

The women in the office are kind to me

Tell me I’m sweet and kind and good

I try

I feel okay when people say I’ve succeeded

Sometimes I don’t know

I’m more an observer of beauty than a carrier and distributer

Will you watch with me?

I will you to and want to share what I’ve seen

You only need one hand to count your comforts

Shoot gosh-darn damn

Still short appendages to keep the ledger square

It is good it’s good

[jeffadams]

Keep it Compact

Look up there at

the hole in the clouds

the clouds in the hole

the whole in the cloud

the cloud in the holes

[jeffadams]

Oh, What Happy Times We Had

I remember my self staring blankly in awe, jaw dropped swinging loosely, dazed, pupils dilated and retinas seared by the sun. What happy times, oh, what happy times we have had.

[jeffadams]

Bought a turntable and raided dead-Dad’s stash. Plenty of diamonds in the rough.

---

Oh, my genitals. 

I’m a janitor.

[jeffadams]

Driving

You know you want that head to pop. You’re pushing it with fluid to light it up. Shorten the fuse and become frantic. Give way to today. Pop. Pop. Pop.

Volume up and to the max, the knob won’t go more ‘fore it breaks. Breathe deep and listen. Feel the vibrations. BZzzzzz. It’s something like that. You know how it goes though—before I even said so.

Turn away and tune the way of the blowing whistle. I can get back within ear shot before my blood runs dry and my drums bleed blood. I want only to listen! Blare that shit as loud as your lungs might allow.

A fly buzzed in the blind spot of my vehicle and I merged into a murder. We are all guts like bugs and roadkill. Let us not forget these things can turn us to squished insects.

[jeffadams]

Spectrum

Blinded by the red and blue LED lights,

She told me to light the rest of the spectrum.

For with all lights lit, the light shone white.

[jeffadams]

I saw this band open for Primus in 2005, the same year this album came out, and the crowd went fucking nuts.

I love this song almost as much as I love barking dogs. Clapping monkeys and snorkeling kids. How awesome is music?

[jeffadams]

Walk Home

Deep intoxication in the midst of black night leads to walking home several blocks in the wrong direction before epiphany strikes the realization of misstep. “Sycamore Lane,” the sign reads. I cannot believe my blurry eyes. Faced with two options—turn back or carry on—I opt for the latter. The soul may grow from some focused orientation efforts at night, when at day disorientation is a near impossibility. I’m utterly alone and without music. There’re other roamers of the night much like myself. We pass in each other’s peripherals without a nod. At last I find my way. My feet begin to hurt from this character building exercise. I’m becoming more aware of my location, but I desire to push it back for I’ve still far to go. Left, right, left, right as I begin to count my steps. Awkwardly, my left foot seems to strike the ground in similitude with the opposite count. Stutter step, juke left, catch balance, push off the ground, walk straight. Sleepy sleepy sleepy sleepy sloppy sloppy sloppy sloppy hypnotic headlights urge forward motion. Momentum passes through kinetic, potential proves my antiseptic. Thank the heavens for the landmarks indicating my imminent arrival. I can hear my bed from here calling me closer. Maybe I’ll make it in the end. I just read that one story about the girl who sleeps on lawns and thinks she falls in love. She exchanges gifts with one friend. They sleep together, snore together, and pass the time but never awake together. Long live my incentive to not sleep on lawns, my incentive to get home, and my incentive to keep marching.

[jeffadams]

The Shittyness of Feeling Shitty

The shittyness of feeling shitty is only shitty subjectively. It’s a real feeling and I’ve felt it intensely. I’ve felt intensely happy too at times. It’s hard to remember the other when I am living on one end of the spectrum. It’s absurd to think that I might feel other than the way I feel now. I feel calm and content. I’ll do something with my life and make new lovers and new friends. I’ll die at some point and I’ll have done everything I will have done in my life.

I remember now how hilarious it all is—existing all aware and stuff. It’s a fucking brilliant joke. When one catches himself in a moment of absolute conviction, when one remembers that he is not the same from one moment to the next, one laughs at himself and sighs at the awe of being.

[jeffadams]

The songs just keep playing on my stereo. I’m stuck as long as I can listen.  

[jeffadams]

Maybe I’ll grow my hair out.

---

Approximate Lyrics:

It was the night of the Academy

Awards and after the ceremony They asked why I don't wear my hair short like Leonardo DiCaprio I answer "I like my style longer 'Cause it's my hair and it's my only hair" They shaved my hair, Shaved my hair,

Shaved my hair They shaved my hair, Shaved my hair,

Shaved my hair

Like Samson [and] Delilah Who cut his hair? And his power drained out Who shaved my hair? They shaved my hair, Shaved my hair,

Shaved my hair

They shaved my hair, They shaved my head

[And they went with love and the second law

After hands were lovin’ and stand your way

Tap you when you love and you can’t be

After when in love and you’re lovin’ me

Fuckin’ all tears with the rape of thee] Muse enough to think of a dog Gradually I get aroused Like a dirty giraffe Call me Leonardo or a bad kid After when you want me you’re lovin’ me That's the change you wanted it cannot be They shaved my hair, Shaved my hair

Shaved my hair

They shaved my hair They shaved my head We ate tacos at midnight Came back home for a nightcap Like Samson and Delilah Who cut his hair And his power drained out Who shaved my hair?

[Indecipherable]

[jeffadams]

And she danced the dance

I was only bored. I was getting older. I bought a coffee with cash and the barista gave me incorrect change. It was a bank error in my favor. I paid the bill for the patron behind me, for you never know who you’ll meet in line.

I walked. It was a mile of green followed by a mile of creek. It was blue skies and fluffy clouds for two miles. Coffee lasted through mile two. I ditched the cup in a dry creek bed because it’s no longer recyclable.

I used to worry about where my friends would go, then they all left to a location away from here. Then I made new friends, and I try my best to still keep the old ones.

Miles away and miles below and many many miles to go. To and fro. Left and Right. From this height we just might make it tonight.

I wrote her a note and it read in whispers,

The Giant Dipper is light years away, 

and you’d just as well stay.

Out of it. Out of the zone. The zone of normalcy. The zone of personality extension. The zone of the present ever-shifting reality. She got out of it and she danced. She broke down and danced. She danced the dunce and danced the lance and danced away the foes and woes of unforgotten romance and she danced the dance and she danced the dance and she danced the dance and she danced the dance.

[jeffadams]

Probably definitely

You’ve no doubt a bright mind.

You are bright.

I can see that.

Smarter than me, probably definitely.

Take care.

I will you to wise me.

Tired of learning,

my head hit the pillow and I told my teacher ‘no.’

[jeffadams]

The Doldrums (2004) Vince Collins Animation. Label: Paw Tracks

Wonderful falsetto and chord progression—my mind is a broken record from 2:30-2:52.

[jeffadams]

Pay no mind to beaks as loud as mine

Can I be like I once was?

Careful to mind the sound and the meaning as one and equal,

A dove does raise his voice at times,

to clarify as such and so,

as the dove does

when the temper does cinder.

I can be as I once was,

just as the dove was.

I go about just how he does,

singing loud and paying no mind

to other beaks as loud as mine.

I cannot refrain from that refrain.

I don’t pretend to try and resist.

It’s that easy to have me as you want,

I’m along for the ride as so and such.

Around here I go wherever I want.

Around her I do whatever I haunt.

I’m just that easy so be easy on me.