If the founding fathers were Zoomers
Thomas Jefferson: neo-confederate furry weeb. Is a redditor and is unexplainably smug about it. Makes memes about āInstagram normiesā unironically. Discord mod that gets outed for grooming behavior.
Ben Franklin: shitposter. Has every social media imaginable, popular on all of them. Could be number 1 in his class but he doesnāt fucking care. Spends a considerable amount of time dicking around with useless robots and inventions until he comes up with something actually good. Banned TJeffs from his furry discord.
Alexander Hamilton: Aspiring E-thot. Is the āInstagram normieā Jefferson gloats about. Twitter timeline is full of drama heās involved with to varying degrees. Made callout posts, had callout posts made him, and has preemptively called himself out. Really big on performative activism. If his YouTube channel flops heāll just be a lawyer instead nbd
James Madison: did online schooling before it was cool. Positive heāll die a virgin. Manages to be more of a loser than Tjeffs, who is his only friend.
John Adams: has a finsta where he talks shit about ppl he doesnāt like. Everyone knows itās him, they donāt care. Has a gf, somehow. Uses memes after they fall out of relevance. Still laughs at rage comics.
George Washington: not big on social media. Likes popular podcasts and follows sports closely. Can talk topically on almost anything, just not in depth. Doesnāt know what a normie is or why he qualifies as one. Actually goes outside.
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