Malewife Sommelier

18+ Only, (She/Her), 🇵🇷 Masterlist, Ao3, 12 Apostles Miku Binder Project (paused)

[cozycryptidcorner]

General information about me, the author:

I’m in my mid twenties and currently live in Alaska. I started writing as soon as I could physically hold a pencil, I have always loved worldbuilding and creative outlets… plus I have a very specific taste in romance that’s rarely met. I write for angry audhd girlies and their preference for manipulative malewife manwhores, with some occasional sprinkle of Latino coding. My more recent work is hit or miss, while my old work is more generic and for everyone (but boring in my opinion). I do a lot of fantasy but I enjoy sci-fi as a concept more. Intensely obsessed with space, how humanity perceives the universe, and the stories we tell to make sense of everything.

I'm on:

Tiktok

Archive of Our Own

Instagram

Ko-fi

Quick lookup:

Full master list here

If you are looking for a quick, feral romp in the grass:

Iron Rings and Steel Knives, male fae/fem reader, 2,076 words

Howl, male werewolf/fem reader, 2,251 words

Shower Buddies, male winged alien SLUT/fem reader, 4,390 words

Kinktober Shorts

If you’re looking for a sweet but short experience:

The Changeling, masc fae/imprisoned seer reader, 4,008 words

Intertwined, fem minotaur/fem reader, 6,349 words

Reunited at Last, fem orc/fem reader, 2,528 words

If you’re looking for angst:

As it Should Be, male SLUT!!! naga/recently dumped fem reader, 4,003 words

Fae Americana, masc fae/lost fem reader, 7,302 words

Rinse and Repeat, male incubus/fem witch reader, 1,701

If you’re looking for mid form drama:

Oasis, unknown species male acolyte/"prophet" fem reader, 15,205 words

Bird of Paradise, male bird-like alien/fem reader, 9,248 words

Willing and Able, male fae runaway prince/pirate fem reader, 11,221 words

If you’re looking for slow burn enemies to lovers:

The Merchant Prince, SLUT male naga/uninterested business fem reader, 57,268 words so far

Winter (old version), SLUT!!!!!!!!! male fae/lost fem reader, 31,037 words

Winter (new version) way better than the old version and to be announced.

[cozycryptidcorner]

I know you abandoned that other fic but I really think you were onto something conceptually when you wrote an insert that takes someone hostage and the hostage immediately going- "this is awakening something in me. I need to marry this person immediately"

oh lol after she tried to kill him? thank you, yes I was definitely cooking. I just cannot think of a good ending that would be satisfying on all ends.

[px41]

It's june

[cozycryptidcorner]

Madonna stuns in new selfie.

[cozycryptidcorner]

River was hoping for his English lessons to go the same way Jovis faetuguese lessons went but then everything happened n now Jovis acting like she doesn't want to suck his dick :'( poor riverrrr

he is just feeling really insecure :( mr. anxious attachment style is faced with someone who wants to give them choices and a better quality of life, free of expectations and it's super nerve wracking for him.

[cozycryptidcorner]

i do believe it's time to stop writing and go to sleep now.

[gilgameshhimself]

(Getting swindled by a genie) it’s like talking to a fucking tumblr user with you

[higglety]

the genie: how dare you say I'm fucking a tumblr user

[annabelle--cane]

it's rotten work. especially to me especially if it's you. I'll fucking do it but christ alive.

[hayleywilliamsfan84]

i keep laughing at the way that eridian culture in the movie and eridian culture in the book are not contradictory at all, if you accept that movie rocky is just a total FREAK

grace: boy i sure can't wait to meet other eridians haha! rocky, putting on a shirt for the first time in four years: rocky has something to tell grace but does grace promise not to be mad, question?

[hydrangea-pop]

I can't leave this in the tags lmaooo

[cozycryptidcorner]

Guess who was puking all day until we got to the emergency vet and is now having a perfectly normal and nice time?

[cozycryptidcorner]

is river a munch 🤔🤔

I think I explicitly state that in one of the chapters

[cozycryptidcorner]

What is the funniest possible way I can break the news that I have acute bronchitis and need a week off (missing a very important work thing) to my boss via email

[cozycryptidcorner]

what are we thinking.

[howtobangyourmonster]

[cozycryptidcorner]

HAHAHA this is a winner

[cozycryptidcorner]

Ooohhh my goddddd it's been a thousand yrs and earth ain't even got humans no more but they just spawning new racisms??? River out here hiding their heritage from everyone because there's extreme negative sentiment around their species despite the only justification for it being that the nøkk are cannibals??? When half the populations live in a constant state of "have cannibal rape frenzies every third day" but when it's a nøkk in a position of power now it's "ooohhh the self serving wench cannot be trusted because theyre from the race of cannibals" throw the whole planet away, clearly we were just living on the racism factory and it's making the fae be bigots now

Exactly! Well, humans have been "gone" for about 500 years at that point, the last known official shuttle to escape earth was in the 2290's, though there were bad faith actors participating in human trafficking in exchange for goods well into the 2350's. humans fizzled out on earth in the 2400's, and the Lullaby for Lambs takes place in the 2890's.

and yes, the official "courts" of the fae think they're infinitely more civilized than "wilder" bacchanals or the more primordial fae, even though if you rubbed your eyes and squinted, it's the same picture.

[cozycryptidcorner]

What is the funniest possible way I can break the news that I have acute bronchitis and need a week off (missing a very important work thing) to my boss via email

[cozycryptidcorner]

what are we thinking.

[cozycryptidcorner]

Can I pls marry you ?

i'm actually already married to panda anon.... i'm so sorry to break the news to you like this....

[cozycryptidcorner]

I would like to introduce a drink I call “gatorquil.” Are you tired and sick? Do you like the way the single sip dosage of store brand DayQuil feels going down? Then oh boy do I have the drink for you. It has all the bad qualities of Gatorade and DayQuil and none of the benefits. I haven’t been able to taste anything but one sip of this and my entire body tried folding inside out.

[cozycryptidcorner]

I should have absolutely planned the flavor profiles a little more but to be fair this was a spur of the moment genius concoction

[northirish]

I'm following blogs that haven't posted in like eight years but I don't care I shall never unfollow them because I am a true and loyal knight #loyalknight