Dating Rules for Girls with No Boundaries: Part 3
Some from my own experiences, some things I’ve read online, some that I’ve learned watching my own friends
Do not be too maternal on a date. The guy should want to induce pity from you when he tells you his stories of being bullied. You can show sympathy but not too much. That’s for later.
Hold your ground and your opinions. Don’t be worried about talking about things that are more business or serious - it shows that you’re actually a curious individual and that you’re interesting.
Always, always wax your puss. Even if it’s the first date. You’ll just feel more confident. And no, you’re absolutely not sleeping on the first date. This is just for you to feel sexy.
Plan your date and state your time boundaries. Stick to them, no matter how much he tries to talk you out of it.
No fake laughing. If you don’t get a joke it’s OKAY. You can’t understand everyone’s humour and that’s normal.
No over apologising. Apologise ONLY for shit that you’ve actually done. Nothing more than that. Especially in the workplace, if you made a mistake, stop apologising and instead acknowledge the mistake you made and vow to yourself to not do it again. Only apologise if you genuinely did something wrong, for minor mistakes, an apology isn’t necessary.
Don’t trauma dump. Don’t share vulnerable things of yourself that you’ve only ever talked about with your bffs. Show strategic vulnerability - things you’ve been through AFTER you’ve been through them and dealt with them.
Don’t be self critical. Stop fishing for compliments. If you’ve had something bad happen in your life, open up to him because you want to, not because you’re desperate to somehow keep him in your life.
State your opinions without trying to please him.
Stop trying to impress him.
“High standards protect you from low quality experiences”
Don’t ask absolute questions (“what is your favourite movie”/ yes no questions). Ask non absolute (what movies have you seen lately?)
Homework before a date: Think of one major recent experience, something interesting that happened last week, what exactly your job is about, what you enjoy in your free time
Be honest and transparent.
“Your money shows your values as does who you sleep with.”
Not everyone you meet needs to know every detail about your past, good or bad. Some things are meant to private.
Low effort and mixed signals = disinterest. That’s a direct no to accepting him in your life.
Compliment him for what he can do for you and his choices if deserved.
NO NUDES. No nude video calls. No NUDES, period. I’m not explaining more.
DO NOT adapt his interests for yours if they don’t naturally align or if you’ve never been interested in that interest. Do not try to be “the one” for him. If he likes watching F1 and you don’t know jack about cars, don’t pretend like you do. If he enjoys techno and it’s not your vibe, you do not have to like it just because you like the guy.
If the date goes well, you’ve done everything “right” and he still doesn’t follow up or call you or text you - let it go. Sometimes everything can be right and yet, lack 100% chemistry. Don’t sit analysing why-when-how-why-where-who. Let it go.