kiss studio albums, summarized
kiss– there are two failed albums between the four of us but this one’s gotta work
hotter than hell– there are three failed albums between the four of us but this one’s gotta work
dressed to kill– oh god the label’s about to go under please someone score a hit
destroyer– bob ezrin is here and he brought cocaine, studio musicians, and his bratty kids as vocalists; meanwhile, peter brought “beth”
rock and roll over– this album has rotational symmetry; unsurprisingly, paul prefers it when his head’s on top
love gun-- paul’s creative apex is an extended metaphor for his dick and ace finally gets the nerve to sing lead
dynasty– it’s not disco, it’s dance music!!!
unmasked– it’s not pop rock, it’s… okay, it’s pop rock
music from ‘the elder’– gene proves once and for all that an album based on your fanfic is a spectacularly bad idea, and all of kiss pays the price
creatures of the night– winning back your fanbase is harder than gaining it in the first place
lick it up– we don’t know what we’re doing anymore but here’s vinnie and some sexy chicks in thunderdome attire
animalize– daddy went to the gas station for cookies and didn’t come back, so mommy has to go back to work
asylum– daddy occasionally comes back home dressed like a hooker and smelling of cheap perfume, which displeases aramis-wearing mommy
crazy nights– daddy says he’s real sorry and promises to maybe do better, but mommy is still suspicious
hot in the shade– daddy’s back for real this time, but we’re so broke we used a drum machine on half of this one
revenge– ezrin comes back and he brings bill, ted, and a bogus journey; r.i.p., eric, you’re kiss’ best boy
carnival of souls– we realized grunge was a thing after grunge stopped being a thing oh god this isn’t working
psycho circus– oh god ace and peter are barely on this album
sonic boom– the most capitalist band in the world grants exclusive cd distribution rights to the most capitalist company in the world
monster– in an unnecessary effort to penny-pinch, we used the analog equipment from gene’s basement to record this one
