I feel like I've abandoned my posts. I haven't, I promise. I just took a break. A long one.
Good news is Tessa is here! After a long pregnancy filled with fear and hope and tons of appointments and tests, she was born at 37 weeks via cesarean on November 20th. She weighed a tiny 4 pounds - my little bird. We weathered a one week NICU stay and then she came home. All is well, mostly. She is growing and is now 6 pounds at 5 weeks old. I'm sure she will always be on the smaller size but I'll be content as long as she's meeting all her milestones on time.
Bad news is it is that time of year. Christmas was hard. I was somewhat weepy. Aubree should be here with us; she should be 6 months old. I know that without the loss of Aubree, Tessa wouldn't be here. I know that I am grateful for the little girl I'm watching sleep in her swing as I type this. Tessa is truly a blessing and my precious rainbow. But all that joy doesn't negate the sorrow. I've posted before about how both exist simultaneously.
In less than a week it will be the one year anniversary of losing Aubree. This coming Friday, January 2nd, will mark a full rotation around the sun for me and the saddest day of my life. It's hard. So hard. Even as I snuggle this tiny sister in my arms, my amazing miracle, I am full and empty at the same time.














