Warnings: so like you ride Buckyâs thigh, a little bit of overstim in you squint, implied age gap, pretty tame! MDNI 18+
Word Count: 1.1k
Bucky is old.
He didnât feel like it, not before you anyway.
Heâs always prided himself on stamina, he can run for an hour straight without breaking a sweat. He spent the better part of two years living off of only a few hours of sleep.
He never left a woman unsatisfied.
Then you came into his life, popped into place like a missing puzzle piece. You called it âmatching each others freak,â he called it you being his soulmate.
His gorgeous, lovely, soft, younger, and utterly insatiable soulmate.
Itâs late, the stars fading as the sun begins to tease the horizon.
You should be fucked out, three rounds and at least five orgasms later you should be snoring into your pillow.
Instead youâre pawing at his thigh, a mischievous smile paired with your signature âplease Buckyâ eyes.
You just showered, skin still damp enough to make your sleep shirt cling to it and already trying to make a new mess. Wet hair sticks to Buckyâs forehead, fresh sweats protect his poor, soft, milked dry, cock from your advances.
âDoll.â He begs. âI donât think I have anything left.â
You pout, bottom lip jutting out. If he werenât already half asleep heâd bite it.
Youâd cornered him before he could lie down, pushed a hand against his chest until he leaned against the headboard.
âJust one more Buck?â You plea, leaning in to press a kiss to his still swollen lips.
Bucky groans into your mouth, meeting your seduction with a mean tongue and teeth that nibble on your lower lip. âNever one more with you.â He grunts, but despite the words, his hands find your hips. âLike negotiating with a terrorist.â
Bucky guides you overtop of his thigh, pushing your thigh back down when you try to lift it over his other leg as well.
You cock your head, your question obvious.
âTold you, tanks empty.â Bucky says, then the hand on your hip starts to push down, applying pressure until you get the idea and sit your weight onto him.
âBucky Iâm sorry. I thought you were joking, we donât have too-â You fluster, eye contact breaking as you look over to your side of the bed, as if the comforter can save you.
Bucky hums, grabbing your chin between his thumb and forefinger. âMy girl needs to get off, my girls gonna get off.â He says matter-of-factly.
âNot your fault this old man canât keep up.â
You whine, still trying to pull away. Babbling that youâre fine, and tired and that you should really just go to bed anyway.
Your body betrays you, cunt throbbing so hard Bucky can feel it against his thigh.
âDoll.â He says, still holding your chin tight, forcing you to look him in the eyes. âDo you wanna cum?â The question is blunt, pushing past your embarrassment and leaving no room for your guilt.
You nod, heat creeping up your neck and below your waist, leaving your skin feverish everywhere he touches. âThen go ahead Sweetheart.â He bounces his thigh beneath you, eliciting a gasp and shocking your body into action.
Your hands fall, bracing themselves on his chest. Buckyâs palms, still seated on your hips, pull your cunt against him in one slow drag. The wet heat of you seeps through the cotton, bunching the fabric up as you move.
Then, as if to prove his exhaustion, Buckyâs hands fall away.
You startle again, hips stilling.
Bucky nods, folding his arms and tucking them behind his head. âGo ahead, ride my thigh. Make yourself cum.â
He slouches, lazy and unhurried, pupils dilated and fixated on where your bodies meet. A smug smile rests on his face, he uses every nonverbal signal possible to assure you that he is exactly where he wants to be.
You face twists, cheeks hollowing as you bite them. Then a slow, deliberate roll of your hips. A soft hum escapes from behind your lips. You shift, position changing ever so slightly as you tilt your hips downward. Another roll, this one harder than the last.
Your mouth falls open, breath hitching as you rush to repeat the action, a second, and then a third time, until youâre rutting against him like a desperate teenager.
Still, itâs not enough. You push down harder on his thigh, beating your full weight as you change the rhythm, clockwise, then counter clockwise followed by a long hard drag up the muscle.
Ever the gentleman Bucky follows your path, thigh clenching every-time you repeat the last step, giving you a hard corded muscle to grind onto. You whine, your hands on his chest begin to claw, nails leaving crescent shaped divots in his skin.
Bucky coos, shushing you as you begin to hiccup, body fighting the pleasure as much as it seeks it out. Desperate to help his girl, he reaches down.
His hands find your panties with ease, tugging them to side and leaving you bare against his sweats.
Youâre so wet, despite the shower the remnants of the night still leak out of you, leaving a creamy mess on Buckyâs thigh. He can feel you soaking through the cotton, leaving his skin slick beneath it.
He can see your orgasm building, thereâs something almost intimate about being able to watch you like this. With his own pleasure taken out of the equation heâs free to watch you, give you all of his attention. Itâs like a drug, making his heart race and his eyes dilate.
Bucky wishes he could paint, he thinks itâs the only way he could capture how beautiful you look right now, eyes squeezed shut, mouthed open with your head tilted back as your hips grind against him.
You whine, chest heaving as you continue to try and chase the feeling. His poor girl he canât help but give you a hand. One of his hands finds your waist, helping you with the steady push and pull of your cunt. The other hand splays over your pelvis, his thumb reaching down to find your clit.
He doesnât circle it, or even move your panties aside, just applies pressure.
Itâs enough to send you over the edge anyway, a hot gush against Buckyâs thigh as your whimper his name.
His sweet girl, his little doll, his favorite sex maniac, finally falls asleep. Your head buried in his neck, legs gone limp on either side of his thigh. He can hear your breathing even out, almost immediately after, a breathy laugh escaping his chest.
Gently, he maneuvers your bodies down the bed. A slow shuffle until his back finally flattens against the mattress. Naturally, you donât stir, body curling to meet his in the new position.
As the first rays of daylight start to peak through the curtains, Bucky slips away in to a dream, the wet patch on his sweats long forgotten.
Pinktober Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Another one!! Literally had no idea how to end this one so forgive me!!! But I think itâs a cutie! Okay love you see you tomorrow!
Pairing: Thunderbolts!Bucky Barnes x Nurse!Female Reader
Summary: Bucky doesn't think he needs medical attention after a hit to the head, but he's glad he met you.
Word Count: Over 3k
Warnings: Meet cute (of sorts?), possible concussion, mention of HYRDA, team dynamic, humor, Bucky's POV, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?) and he's smitten.
A/N: A new AU (as if I need more) inspired by this wonderful nonnie. â€ïž Beta read by the lovely @mumbles411 (and thanks for the assurance on the medical discussion), but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @saradika-graphics. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Bucky didn't need medical attention. That was what he told himself, and he said the same thing to the team after he took a hard hit to the head. But he made the mistake of telling Bob that he admittedly felt a little dizzy, who then told Yelena, who then demanded that he go to the hospital. Not only did she demand that he go, they all went and were currently hanging out in the lobby to make sure he was okay.Â
It was a sweet gesture, if not a wasted one.Â
He took a hit to the head. So what? He experienced much worse when it came to his head and he was a super soldier for God's sake, so heâd heal just fine. It was a bit cocky to think like that but others needed help more than he did and he wasn't in the mood for anyone to inspect him or ask questions.Â
At least he wasn't until he saw your face.Â
âHi,â you smiled, pulling back the curtain to give him some privacy. âSorry to keep you waiting.â
He opened his mouth to say he hadn't waited long at all, but no sound came out. Thank God he wasn't hooked up to a heart monitor because it would've picked up on the accelerated rate when you smiled at him again. He almost forgot to breathe before his body reminded him that he needed oxygen. No one should look as beautiful as you in medical scrubs or under the harsh hospital lighting. He wondered if he looked okay despite the blood and dirt on his clothes.Â
Wait, why did it matter what he looked like? He wasn't there to flirt with or impress you. There was no reason for him to sit up straighter or flex his right arm. There sure as hell wasn't any reason to run his fingers through his hair to get the tangles out. It was a hospital visit, not a date.Â
You wore a name tag, but introduced yourself before taking a look at his chart. âI understand you took a pretty hard hit to the head, Mr. Barnes.â
His voice came out huskier than he anticipated when he said, âCall me Bucky.â Clearing his throat he added, âIf you consider a slab of concrete to the head hard, then yeah, but at least my head didn't split open.â
He felt the need to assure you he was fine when concern crossed your beautiful features. âIâm very thankful your head didn't split open, Bucky.â He liked the way you said his name. âBut a concrete slab to the head is no joke.â
âYou should see the other guy,â he joked, making you giggle. Was he funny or were you only laughing for his benefit? âBut seeing the other guy wouldn't matter anyway since you won't let me leave without an exam,â he guessed. Even if he didn't believe he needed one.Â
It wasn't just his belief that he was fine. Most didn't know it, but every now and then hospitals made him feel like he was back at HYDRA, ready to be strapped to a chair to await his next form of torture or to be experimented on. He wouldn't say he was afraid, but there was discomfort. Enough to make it feel like the walls were slowly closing in.Â
With a deep breath he thought instead of his wonderful treatment in Wakanda and reminded himself that he was safe, free. It helped the next breath come easier. He then looked at your face where he only saw concern and compassion. You weren't going to hurt him. You were there to help.Â
âWell, I wouldn't be a very good nurse if I just let you walk out, would I?â you gently smiled.Â
He managed a smile for you because you weren't just doing your job. You also seemed kind. âI guess not.â
He could get through a simple exam.Â
Bucky inhaled, detecting a hint of something sweet under the sterile surroundings as you checked his heart beat. It was so subtle that he wouldn't have been able to pick up on it if it weren't for his heightened senses. He almost leaned into you before you pulled away, and thank God for that. Would he have been able to blame it on his head if he did?
âI don't have a concussion,â he blurted out.Â
âIs that right?â He swore there was amusement in your tone when you shone a light in each of his eyes. âI imagine you're somewhat familiar with them in your line of work.â
âYou can say that,â he said. He had his fair share of hits to the head, and helped his teammates get through injuries. âNo nausea, no stiffness or imbalance.â
He didn't mention the dizziness since he didn't want to stay longer than he needed to.Â
âAny issues with your memory?â you asked.Â
He smirked a little. âThat's a bit of a loaded question.â
âCan you tell me what day it is and what hospital you're at?â you asked.Â
He answered the questions with ease. He also spelled âworldâ backwards when you asked him to. âSee? Iâm fine,â he said.Â
âYour vitals are normal. Pupils reactive. But-â
âLook, I appreciate you checking me out,â he cut you off, keeping the bite out of his voice because he refused to snap at you. âBut I don't want to waste your time.â
Bucky hated that he was trying to rush out when you were only trying to help, but he could hear people in the other rooms even as he tried to block it out. They were in pain, struggling. They needed you more than he did.Â
âAnd I appreciate that you're thinking of my time, but itâs my job and I wouldn't feel comfortable with you leaving without completing my exam,â you said, taking a closer look at him. It wasn't concern he saw in your eyes now, but understanding. âYou're not exactly a fan of hospitals, are you?â
The question took him by surprise. How did you guess? âNot exactly,â he replied, choosing not to elaborate on that and you were thoughtful enough not to push. Just a sympathetic nod, which he appreciated. âBut the work you and everyone else in the medical field does? It's incredible. Thank you.â
In his eyes, people like you were the real heroes. You didn't just face battles, you faced pandemics and life changing events. You risked your lives, saw the best and worst of people, and how many thanked you in return? And from the little time he knew you he could sense the love and dedication to your job and patients. He respected that.Â
âThank you. And thank you for all that you do, too,â you said sincerely. The compliment had the corner of his lip tugging in a smile. âI know you want to get out of here, but I am here to help. If you're fine, great. If not, please, let me help you.â
He tried to look anywhere but at you. It unnerved him that you got under his skin with so few words and he wondered for a second if that hit to the head did more damage than he thought. âI feel a little dizzy, but thatâs all,â he admitted, and he felt better by doing so.Â
You put a hand over his, little currents of electricity shooting up his arm. âThank you for telling me,â you whispered, like it was your little secret. âSince you are feeling dizzy, I would like you to stay for observation.â
Bucky sighed. âHow long do I have to stay?â
âAs long as everything is stable and there are no new or worsening conditions, youâll likely be discharged within an hour or two,â you replied. He almost argued that he healed from injuries faster thanks to the serum, but that wasn't too long. Better safe than sorry. At least it wasn't a headscan. âWould you like some water? I can get you a snack, too.â
The snack and drink were likely to make sure he could keep them down. âSure, thanks,â he whispered.Â
âSorry that youâre stuck with me checking on you for the next hour or so,â you said.Â
Buckyâs smile grew before he chuckled. âYou won't hear me complaining,â he promised.Â
Hell, he'd probably fake an injury just to see you again, or at least ask for you if he ever had to come back to the hospital for any reason. He wondered if you were single. You weren't wearing a wedding band or an engagement ring. That didn't necessarily mean-
âIâm single,â you said quickly.
He glanced at you before his eyes went wide. Shit, he said some of that out loud? âOh, well, thatâsâŠâ He wasn't sure what to say. Should he apologize? âNice.â
He grimaced. Nice? What was wrong with him? Maybe he had a concussion after all.Â
You looked at him, your smile soft and easy. He either wasn't the first patient to make a fool out of himself like that or you were being nice. âIâll be back shortly, but buzz if you need anything.â
âI will,â he said, his finger itching to push the remote the second you left him alone.
He leaned back in the bed and tried to make himself comfortable while he slowly looked around. How was it that the room seemed darker, as if you took a bit of the light and warmth with you? He shook his head slowly and carefully. It was a ridiculous thought.Â
âObservation for an hour or two. You okay sticking around so you can drive me back?â he messaged Yelena.Â
Yelena messaged back almost immediately. âEveryone is staying. Even Walker.â
He scoffed, but there was a smile behind it. âNot that you need my permission, but you can punch him if he steps out of line.â Yeah, John was still an asshole, but they did work together and he was trying. Some days.Â
He perked up when you came back with a cup of water and a snack. âYou doing okay?â you asked.Â
âSince you left a minute or two ago, yeah,â he teased.Â
âWere you a sarcastic guy before the hit to the head, or is this a new side to you?â you teased back.Â
âOh, the sass has always been there,â he said, taking a sip once you handed the drink over. âBetter to be smart-ass than a dumbass, right?â
Why was he talking so much?
âSo much better,â you smiled, going to the small computer to type something in. He tried not to stare as your fingers flew across the keyboard. He could always blame it on his head if you caught him. âIâll be back in just a bit, but-â
âBuzz if I need you. I know,â he smiled.Â
âAt least there isn't too much sass in your tone,â you joked before you left him alone once again.Â
If he didn't know any better he would think you were flirting with him, but you were just being a friendly nurse.Â
He also tried not to eavesdrop when he heard you assisting others, but your voice drew his attention and he hung on your every word. You were professional, yet personal, showing each patient expert care. You lightly scolded an older gentleman who hadn't listened to you, which brought a smile to Buckyâs face when the man apologized and didn't give you any trouble after that. It was a delicate balance to be kind and assertive and you did it well.Â
âYou are something,â he said to himself.Â
For the next hour or so Bucky didn't say much when you checked on him, but you had his undivided attention, his eyes following you wherever you went. He wanted to find excuses to keep you there and possibly make small talk, but it felt wrong when there were other patients who needed your attention. He caught that sweet scent again whenever you were close to him. Alluring, captivating. He tried to figure out if it was a body wash or just you.Â
Something he noticed and tried not to was that your heart raced faster when you were near him. Maybe there was a slight chance that you were attracted to him? Beyond being a friendly nurse, maybe the possible attraction was why you kept smiling at him. He wanted to believe so. He wanted to feel your hand on his hand again. The brief touch had him wanting more, which was crazy.Â
And before Bucky knew it, it was time to leave.Â
âVitals still look good. No change in symptoms,â you confirmed after he said the dizziness had subsided and he didn't feel at all nauseous after the snack. âDo you have someone to drive you home?â you asked.Â
âYeah, I have some friends here,â he answered. Even if he wasn't dizzy there was no way they'd let him drive after that.Â
âTry to take it easy for the next 24-48 hours. If there are new symptoms or if the dizziness gets worse, you should return to the hospital,â you told him. âOther than that, I think you're good to go,â you smiled, but it didn't look as bright as before.Â
Were you disappointed that he had to leave? Bucky was disappointed, but what could he do? He had no excuse to stay. Ironic how he was itching to leave when he got there when he now wanted a reason to stick around.Â
âThanks.â He grabbed his jacket after slowly getting to his feet, your gaze lingering on him when he slipped it on.Â
âWhy don't I walk you back to the lobby?â you offered.Â
âOh, you don't have to do that,â he said, regretting it since it sounded like a brush off and that wasn't his intention. âBut if you wouldn't mind?â
Your face lit up, at least he thought it did. âI don't mind at all.â
Keeping a respectful distance, but not too much of a gap as you walked together, he stole a couple of glances at you. The quiet confidence in which you carried yourself was beautiful and you turned a few heads from nearby patients. He wondered if you noticed.Â
He smiled to himself when he spotted his teammates sitting in the waiting area. None of them looked particularly comfortable, but they stuck it out for him. It meant a lot.Â
âThat group right there is my ride,â he said, not wanting you to go any closer. If they got the slightest hint that he enjoyed your company for a short time, theyâd pounce. âThanks again.â
âIâm glad I could help," you said, gazing at him. âHavd a good night. And don't forget to take it easy for the next 24-48 hours, hero.â
Hero. The nickname almost made him smile. âYou have a good night, too.â
You lingered for just a moment, almost as if you expected him to say something else. When he didn't, you offered him one last smile and scanned your card to get back through the double doors. His shoulders dropped once you were out of sight. He should've said something.Â
âHello?â Yelena asked, snapping her fingers in front of his face. âWhat are you staring at?â
He blinked a few times. âNothing.â
âNothing? Oh, I think he was staring at that pretty nurse,â Ava answered.Â
Bucky shot the entire group a glare, his cheeks hot. âNo, I wasn't,â he grumbled. Except he was. He stared at you. And by the amused looks on their faces, they all saw it.Â
Yelena exchanged a look with Ava before they both smirked. âYes, you were. Do you like the nurse?â
Buckyâs fists curled. He was not having this conversation after a hit to the head. âCan we leave?â
âItâs okay to stare or have a crush. Sheâs a beautiful woman.â Alexei clapped a hand on his shoulder. âShe would be lucky to date the Winter Soldier.â
A growl escaped before Bucky could stop it. Yes, you were beautiful. Did he need Alexei to point that out? And he didn't have a crush. How could he?Â
âWhen was the last time you went on a date?â Ava asked.Â
Bucky took a deep breath. He really didn't want to talk about this. âDoes it matter?â he asked.Â
âAsk her out! I drive you for your date!â Alexei offered, rubbing his hands together. âIâll set the mood. You see.â
Yelena pinched the bridge of her nose and muttered, âDad, stop.â
Bucky shook his head and shut his eyes, wishing he could teleport himself out of there. âYes, please, stop.â
âIs your head okay?â Bob asked, making him open his eyes. Of course he was concerned with his pain, and Bucky was glad for the change of topic.Â
âIâm fine,â Bucky assured him. There was nothing for him to worry about. âI just need to take it easy for the next day or so.â
John stretched his back once he stood up. âIf you really want to see that nurse again I can make sure you get another hit to the head.â
Buckyâs eyes turned cold. âIâm not a killer anymore, but I may make an exception if you try anything.â
John held his hands up, but still had a smirk on his face before Yelena shot him a look. âA small injury could bring you back here.â
âNo one is injuring me to bring me back here,â he announced. Everyone looked disappointed except for Bob. âWhat, you all want me to get hurt?â
Why did he decide to join this team again?
âNo, we just want you to see the nurse again,â Ava said.
âLetâs go,â he ordered.Â
As the group left, Bucky snuck one last look over his shoulder. You were a good nurse, and you made his night better. A small part of him hoped he made your night a little better, too. And while he certainly didn't want more injuries, a part of him did if only to bring him back to you.
So, what injury is Bucky getting so he can see you again? sebastian stan x reader, james bucky buchanan barnesLove and thanks for reading! â€ïž
Summary: Bucky searches for Alpine when she gets out one night and finds her curled up with you.
Word Count: Over 1.6k
Warnings: Drunk reader with no filter and Alpine likes her, bit of grumpy!Bucky, humor, attraction, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: @starlightcrystalline sent me this IG video and I had to do something for her. â€ïž Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
Bucky was going to kill Sam. No, not really. He wasnât a cold-hearted killer. Just because Sam hadnât shut the door fast enough didnât mean it was his fault that Alpine ran out. Accidents happened, and she was lightning fast. It still stunned Bucky and Steve when Sam shouted that she got out because she hadnât taken off like that before. Super soldier speed hadnât worked since she was gone by the time Bucky got to the front of his place.Â
They split up to look for her, and he didnât want to wake anyone up since it was late, but he was worried since Alpine had gone past his neighborhood. She was his little buddy, his kindred spirit. He wanted her to be okay. He didnât want her to get lost or hurt.
âAlpine?â he asked, rounding a corner and looking around. His shoulders dropped when he didnât spot her. âCâmon, Al.â
He went down another block when he heard an unfamiliar voice in the distance, his body going stiff. âOh, my GOD. You are seriously the cutest cat EVER.â Was this stranger talking about his cat? âYour fur is as white as snow and so soft. OOH. Is your name Snowball?â
âSnowball?â he muttered, jogging in the direction of your sweet voice. Wait, why did he think your voice was sweet?
âYouâre a little purr machine! I just want to take you home and cuddle with you and keep you FOREVER.â
âOh, no, you fucking donât,â Bucky snarled, rounding another corner. He didnât care how sweet you sounded. You were talking about possibly stealing his cat, and he wasnât going to let that happen.
He sighed in relief when he saw Alpine before his brows furrowed. She was curled up in your lap as you sat in the middle of the sidewalk. He had to blink to be sure his eyes were working correctly. Alpine never took to strangers like that. She liked Steve and Sam, but it still took her time to warm up to them.
Shooting them a text to let them know he found Alpine, he wondered who you were and why she was snuggling with you.Â
âAl.â He whistled as he jogged the rest of the way over. Instead of jumping out of your lap like he expected, she curled into you more and purred. Maybe you had some sort of special power that made his cat relax.Â
You tilted your head up and Bucky forgot how to breathe for a second. Even under the harsh light of the sidewalk lamp you were beautiful. Fuck, maybe you had some sort of special power over him, too. âHi!â you said a little too loudly, like you didnât have a clue how late or quiet it was. Inhaling, he could smell the alcohol on your breath from where he stood. Jesus, were you drunk? âHooooooooe, my God. You are the hottest man I have ever seen in my life. Just⊠â You waved a hand at him. âHoly fucking shit.â
He was thankful that it was either too dark for you to see or you were too drunk to notice the pink in his cheeks. Not to mention, he was in jeans and a black t-shirt. He hardly looked hot. âYouâre drunk, but thanks for the compliment,â he stated, reaching out for Alpine who stubbornly stayed put. Seriously, what was her deal? She didnât know you. He didnât know you.
âAnnnnd Iâll be sober when I wake up tomorrow, but youâll still be really hot. Thatâs totally not fair.â You giggled after a moment and held Alpine up to look at him. âIsnât he hot? Like a model or a god or something made up in a lab.â You tilted your head. âOr my dreams.â
Bucky frowned, as if he didnât talk to his cat on a regular basis. He was trying to ignore that you were clearly physically attracted to him. That wasnât the usual reaction people had when he came around. Not in todayâs age at least. His glare didnât even phase you since you continued to smile at him. âAlâs a cat. She canât-â
âMeow.â
Your smile turned into something triumphant. âSee, she agrees with me,â you said, rubbing your cheek against Alpineâs before you gasped. âWait, you called her by a name. Do you know her?â
Bucky let out a breath, wanting to get back home and get some sleep. He had had a long day. âYeah, sheâs my cat and she got out a bit ago. Could you please give her back so I can go home?â
Your lower lip trembled and he feared youâd burst into tears. He had no clue what to do if you cried. âIâm soooo sorry. I didnât know she was your cat. I swear.â His eyes widened when you tried to get to your feet, his hands going to your hips to help steady you. He was reluctant to let you go, and he felt like an ass because he probably scared you. âShe just came right up to me and I only wanted to pet her for a minute.â
Bucky kept a hand on your hip when Alpine finally moved into his other arm. He felt better, but wouldnât relax completely until he was at home. âItâs okay. Iâm glad she did,â he said honestly. Because Alpine went to you, it made it much easier to find her. âWait a second.â
âWhat?â you asked, making him lose his breath again when you looked him in the eyes.
He had to blink a few times and snap himself out of his stupor. What was wrong with him? âWhy the hell are you out here by yourself?â he asked, trying to keep his anger in check when he took in your outfit. He was so concerned about Alpine that he didnât clock right away that you were in a semi-revealing black dress. It was gorgeous, and that kind of look could attract all sorts of attention. Even if you werenât drunk and all alone, the thought of someone taking advantage of you made his blood boil.
You nodded to the building beside you. âMy place is RIGHT there, but itâs soooo sweet that you care about my wellbeing.âÂ
âWhich apartment?â he asked.Â
âOkay, you may be really hot and I may be drunk, but I donât know you, so Iâm not telling you my apartment number.â You wrinkled your nose. âThatâs how true crimes start.â
He snorted before he could stop himself. At least you were smart enough not to tell him. âStill doesnât explain why youâre alone out here.â
âMy friends and I were celebrating a birthday at the bar a few blocks away and the birthday girl wanted to play drinking games and my luck was terrible tonight since I kept losing, or I guess winning if you count drinking as winning?â you explained, shaking your head. âAnyway, my sober friend dropped me off, but your cat walked over before I could go inside,â you continued, smiling and scratching behind her ears. At least you hadnât walked home alone. âAnd it wouldâve been rude of me to ignore little Snowball.â
âHer nameâs Alpine,â he corrected you, but there was warmth in his tone instead of annoyance.
âMy apologies, Queen Alpine.â You booped Bucky on the nose. âAnd what is your name?â
Bucky blinked and blinked again. He couldnât believe you just booped him. If Steve and Sam had seen that⊠âItâs Bucky.â
You didnât react to his name, simply giving him your name, too. âDo people call you âBuckâ?â you giggled. âBecause Buck rhymes with-â
âI think you should get inside,â he cut you off. âAnd make sure you drink some water and have some aspirin waiting beside you when you wake up.â
âAwwwwwwwwwww. You really do care about my wellbeing,â You leaned into him, stars in your eyes. âYouâre a good man. I can tell.â
Bucky cleared his throat. Why would you think he was a good man? âWell, if Al likes you, you canât be all bad.â
âI can be bad if you want me to,â you whispered exaggeratedly and winked. âSorry, I have no filter when I drink.â
âYeah, I sensed that,â he deadpanned. It was kind of refreshing. âDo you always flirt with strange men like this?â he asked, feeling a surge of jealousy for no reason.
âJust you, stranger,â you answered. He believed you only because you seemed too sweet to lie. âThanks for being nice and letting me snuggle with your cat.â
You had to be drunk to say he was nice. âIâm a grump.â
You booped his nose again. âWhatever you say, Mr. Grump,â you said, giving Alpine one last pet. âSee you later, Alpine.â
The meow Alpine let out sounded so sad it almost broke Buckyâs heart. âItâs late, Al. She needs rest, and so do we.â
âNight night!â you called back, somehow managing to walk in a straight line up the building door. âSweet dreams!â
âWhat if Al wants to see you again?â he asked.Â
You paused and smiled over your shoulder. âIf you want to see me again, Iâm sure youâll find a way.â
As tempting as it was to ask for your number or give him yours, you were drunk. Youâd probably forget all about him in the morning. Besides, you might have a boyfriend. So he held Alpine closer and watched you go inside, the corner of his mouth twitching.Â
âYou gave me a real scare, Al,â he said, walking away as Alpine looked back at the building. âDonât worry. Iâm sure weâll see her again.â
For Alpineâs sake, he hoped theyâd see you again.
And for his own sake, he hoped you were single.
Had to be done, lovelies! When and where will he see you again? Love and thanks for reading! â€ïž
Rating: Teen and up (except Epilogue 1, which can be skipped)
Status: COMPLETE - Main multi-chapter story. (24k words) ONGOING - One shots set in this universe.
Beautiful moodboard by @margowritesthings đ§Ą
Summary: A slow burn fic. Follow on to No Good Advice. Best to read that first, however In case you havenât/donât (please note: it is rated as 18+ explicit) - reader has an arranged marriage to childhood friend John Darby, but has a passionate pre-marital relationship with Benedict Bridgerton which results in the conception of a child on her wedding day. Reader is now married to John Darby and he believes himself the father of the child, one James Darby. This fic is what happens next for all of these characters.
Summary: Benedict knows you better than anyone. But does he know himself well enough to know what he truly wants?
Warnings: none really⊠fluffy fluff. Childhood friends, class differences, marriage mart shenanigans, dancing, marriage proposals, Benedict being adorable while also a complete dumbass, unrequited to requited love, love confessions.
Word Count: 10.4k (yeah, it's a long one, folks)
Authors Note: this is a request fill for @curlsincriminology (ask HERE) about Benedict showing you all the wonderful things he sees in you, but will he figure out his own feelings before it's too late? Thanks to the complete trooper @colettebronte for beta reading this monster one-shot. Enjoy <3
I: To Know YouâŠ.
âI would rather not, Miss y/l/n,â the young man clips, walking away from you at a brusque pace.Â
You sigh and look down at your feet. Mrs Parsons will be so very disappointed, is all you can think.
â
Benedict may not have heard the words spoken, but even from his vantage point at the other end of the ballroom, he could see the disdainful way the young man uttered his parting words to you. It makes anger flare hot in his chest, his fist forming reflexively at his side.
He watches as you look down, shoulders hunching, folding in on yourself physically, as if the rejection for a dance has manifested in a body blow. He feels a pang in his gutâof sympathy, indignance on your behalf and mainly at the injustice of it all. To him, you are a wonderful, intelligent, caring person worthy of a good match. Still, the circumstances of your upbringing seem to stymie your attempts to join so-called âpoliteâ society at every turnâŠ
â
You look up with a defeated mien until your eyes land on one person who has always been able to ameliorate any of your more morose moodsâBenedict Bridgerton. Instantly, you feel lighter. You give him a polite nod across the crowded room, and, to your delight, he returns it, a hint of a sympathetic smile tugging at his lips. It is just so very characteristic of him to offer silent support, to understand, from witnessing a moment of interaction, precisely what you are feeling. A large part of you feels so wistful that there is no other man quite as nice as him. Suddenly, your overwhelming need is to leave this stuffy ballroom and catch some air.
You grew up under the tutelage of the kindly doctorâs widow, Mrs Parsons, whose house is not far from the vast Bridgerton estate in Kent. The naturally born daughter of nobody quite knows whom, you were taken in as her ward when you were abandoned upon her doorstep at a mere two years old. Her reputation for kindness towards young waifs and strays is likely why you were left there. It is an event you were too young to recall, so all you have known your whole life is her generosity and kindness, raising you as if her own.Â
And now that you are of age, she takes you to events around Kent in the hopes of securing you a respectable husband, the most prestigious being tonightâs Hearts and Flowers Ball at Aubrey Hall. The Bridgertons have always been gracious enough to invite local families, those without the means to partake in the London season, to events at their country estateâa kindness that allows for your attendance tonight. Itâs just such a pity that the one bachelor Mrs Parsons was so very keen for you to meet, one Mr Reeves, just rebuffed you so thoroughly.Â
You glance down at the remaining empty slots on the dance card tied to your wrist and sigh again. Now that you are out on the terrace in the fresh evening air, the light breeze is at least a partial balm, allowing you to recover from the sting of rejection away from the hubbub of the ballroom.
âI will never understand how the men of this county can consider themselves anything approaching mannered.âÂ
You would know that refined voice anywhere. It haunts your dreams. Just the sound of it making your ribs tighten. You turn to see Benedict sauntering towards you, two drinks in hand, that sympathetic smile still in place.
âYou are far better off without such rudeness,â he adds dryly as he pulls up beside you, arching an eyebrow for your entertainment.
âYou are far too kind, Mr Bridgerton,â you answer, taking the glass he offers with a meek smile, trying not to let your ardent admiration for him be too evident.Â
âMr Bridgerton?!?â he scoffs, âWhat happened to BenBen?â he teases gently, recalling your childhood name for him when you were a mere four and he was nine.
âWe are at a formal event; I should address you as such, should I not?â you reply playfully, a warmth spreading inside as it always does when you get the chance to have a witty, convivial exchange with him.
By gosh, if there is one man to whom you would pledge yourself without hesitation, it is him. But, of course, he is the second son of an illustrious family. To think you would have any chance to win his heart would be as likely as a future king to marry a commoner. Still, you can dreamâŠ
âAt least call me Benedict, Skylark,â he winks over his wine glass as he takes a sip, butterflies erupting in your tummy at the affectionate nickname he has used since you were small; you have to avert your eyes to avoid blushing deeply.
Just as he goes to speak again, his brother, the Viscount, materialises at his side. Looking to all intents and purposes as if he is trying to escape the ball as much as you are.
âMother is best avoided tonight, brother,â Anthony warns sagely, taking a large gulp of his champagne. âShe is under the erroneous impression I am suddenly in want of a wife.â
You can't stop the giggle that bubbles up from within at his wry observation of his predicament.
âHello, y/n,â he greets warmly, just noticing you are also there, his face morphing into a youthful, playful grin. If Benedict is the husband you have always dreamed of, Anthony is the elder brother you have always yearned for. In fact, that is always how he has treated you, akin to Eloise and Daphne, who you grew up playing with, being of similar age.
âHello, Anthony,â you chime back. âHow was the hunt earlier? Did the infamous Bridgerton brothers kill another prized stag?â you inquire, keen to engage both of them for as long as they will entertain you. Just being around them always lifts your spirits to no end.
â
Benedict observes you as you listen intently to Anthonyâs recounting of the hunt earlier that day, impressed by your resilience. He has no doubts any other woman would feign an attack of the vapours had a man rejected her so harshly. But here you are, politely listening to his brotherâs boasting, even though he can tell you are hurting inside.
Perhaps it helps that your snub went primarily unnoticed. You are unknown to the Ton; any witnesses likely dismissing it as the business of âcountry folkâ unworthy of note. Which, frankly, he could scoff at, seeing as he holds you in higher regard than all of the other attendees combined.
âHow about you?â Anthony ends his story with a question to you, interrupting Benedictâs train of thought. âHow has your experience been at our fine event this evening?â
âOh, the house is splendidly decorated and the music wonderful,â you obfuscate behind flattery. Anthony appears to buy it, but Benedict sees behind your facade, the flame behind your usually bright gaze dimming a little, making something ache in his gut to see it.Â
Damn that idiot for ruining your evening! This just wonât doâŠ
â
You can feel Benedictâs eyes upon you as you respond abstractly to Anthony.
âY/n here is too polite to say it, but she was treated harshly by that young Reeves chap from Tenterden,â Benedict edifies as you bow your head, embarrassed. âLetâs be sure to rescind his invitation to future events, brother,â he appends with a surly tone.
âDuly noted,â Anthony nods sincerely, a brush of confusion flitting over his face regarding his brother's vehemence.
âNo, there is no needâŠâ you begin to protest weakly but halt mid-sentence under the intensity of Benedictâs gaze.
âI bore witness. Believe me, He shall not darken our door again,â he states firmly.
It appears the matter is very much decided, and you donât want to put up much of a fight, seeing as it ultimately benefits you. You do, however, want to bathe in the warm glow inside whenever Benedict defends you. It's wonderful to have someone looking out for you, especially one so handsome and kind.
â
Two days later, you are taking afternoon tea with Mrs Parsons at the local tea shop when Benedict breezes in, looking so majestic dressed in Bridgerton blues that you grind to a halt. Luckily, he has not seen you as he makes a beeline for the counter.
ââTis rude to stare, my dear,â Mrs Parsons lectures sotto voce, nodding to your teacup, frozen in mid-air.
You shake your head a touch and place said item back in your saucer as she turns briefly to look at what or who caught your attention. Then she reaches out, her lace-gloved hand gently patting yours.Â
âIt would be prudent to set your sights a little more realisticâŠâ she advises with a sympathetic air. âNot that I fault your choice,â she adds, so quietly at first you're not sure you heard her correctly, but there is a tiny playful smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. Your mouth falls open fractionally, and you stare as she shrugs. âI may be old, my dear, but I am not blind.â
Well, I never, Mrs Parsons!
As you take a bite of food, Benedict twists around from speaking to the proprietor, and he sees you. Thereâs a jolt down your spine as he breaks into a huge smile that claims his whole face. And you almost choke on scone crumbs as he makes a beeline over to you rather than the exit.
âGood afternoon, Miss y/l/n, Mrs Parsons!â he greets effusively. âWould it be terribly impolite to ask to join you briefly?â
Mrs Parsons' face is a picture of surprise. âNot at all; the pleasure is ours, Mr Bridgerton,â she responds affably, gesturing to the spare chair at your small round table.
As Benedict sits, Mrs Parsons shoots you an incredulous look. It's your turn to shrug fractionally.
âMrs Parsons, I feel it necessary to tell you Mr Reeves was excessively rude to Miss y/l/n here at the ball, and I wanted to assure you that he will not be welcome at Aubrey Hall again,â he divulges sincerely.
Mrs Parsons looks taken aback and turns to you. âWhy did you not tell me, my dear?â
âI-I did not think it necessaryâŠâ you twist your mouth into a bashful pout, biting your lip.
âMr Bridgerton, thank you for bringing this to my attention, and I thank you for your generous offer, but that sort of action does not seem warranted,â she replies accommodatingly.
âThat is what I saidâŠâ
âThat is what she saidâŠâ
You and Benedict speak in unison at the exact same moment, and your eyes ping to each other, both laughing then bowing your heads immediately. You know your cheeks are flushed.
â
Benedict loves the look in your eye sometimes. That spirited sparkle with glowing cheeks. In his opinion, that is the only look you should ever wear; no one, especially one as unworthy as Mr Reeves, should be allowed to rob you of it. He feels a strong compulsion to do everything in his power to keep you looking like thatâcarefree, happy, stunning. Itâs what motivates his subsequent words.
âIf it is not considered too impudent for me to do so, I have a suggestion for Miss y/l/nâs introduction into society,â Benedict offers sincerely. âI believe you should be able to find her an excellent, worthy match by casting a wider net.â
âWhat are you proposing, Mr Bridgerton?â Mrs Parsons inquiries, almost warily.
âThat Miss y/l/n come to London and partake in the remainder of the season as a guest of my family. My mother seems to think it an excellent idea, and I know my younger sister Eloise is already a good friend. I do not see why they could not attend events together,â he shrugs genially.
Mrs Parsons's face is a picture again. âYou have already spoken to the Dowager Viscountess of this matter?â she checks, unable to modulate the astonishment in her tone.
âOf course,â he confirms with a nod. âI made such a suggestion this morning when your names came up. She heartily concurs. Miss y/l/n here is too bright and good of a person to have her marital choice limited by geography or circumstance.â
His eyes fall on you, and his heart gallops at the searing look you are giving him.
â
You donât even try to temper your doe-eyed expression as you look upon Benedict, him extolling your virtues to the audience of the tea room.Â
Even distracted by all the wondrous things he has to say, you can detect the noise level on the surrounding tables has reduced; everyone in town always keen to eavesdrop on a Bridgerton conversation. Especially one that contains such noteworthy gossip as a local young lady being invited to the London season at the familyâs behest.
âMy dear, I trust that Lady Bridgerton will look after you well,â Mrs Parsons professes. âI have no objections should you desire to seize this opportunity.â Her tone pointed, very much encouraging you to do so.
âThat would be just wonderful, Mr Bridgerton,â you exhale with a grateful smile. âI cannot thank you enough for even thinking to raise such a petition.â
âThink nothing of it, Miss y/l/n,â he smiles, standing up and giving you both a brief, shallow bow. âI shall see you anon, no doubt.âÂ
And with that, he sweeps out of the tearoom, your eye line tracking his concave outline through the curved glass as he rounds the corner out of sight.
âWell, well,â Mrs Parsons puffs out her cheeks. âI am not sure what you did to inspire such actions in a gentleman. But bravo, my dear, bravo,â she holds her teacup aloft in a toast.Â
You are a jumble of emotions and could not even begin to answer Mrs Parsons about what you could possibly have done. Mostly, you are just elated by the prospect of the chance to attend the whirl of the London season, even if there is also a small pang of regret that Benedict is so keen to see you matched.
II: âŠIs To Love You
The following Tuesday, as your carriage pulls up outside the grandeur of Bridgerton House, you have nothing but butterflies. And as Lady Bridgerton - Violet as she insists you now call her - and her ladyâs maid show you to your charming guest room, you cannot temper your excitement.
âGet yourself freshened up, my dear. There is a soiree this evening at the Queenâs new residence no less, and there is no time like the present to begin your introductions,â the dowager viscountess warmly counsels.
You nod your thank yous, and after they take their leave, you twirl excitedly around the room, taking in the elegant furnishings and airy sunlight flooding in. You pull up in front of a large sash window and are delighted to see bounteous gardens beneath. The rear of the property is very much an oasis of calm in the heart of the city. But one sight in particular draws your eye: a majestic oak with two swings attached to a stately arm. It looks like a place of refuge, and you feel oddly compelled to take a seat there.
Three hours later, walking into the palatial Buckingham House, you are in a different world from the one you know in Kent. Candlelit crystal chandeliers glint like towering clusters of jewels, spraying thousands of shards of light around the room. Every railing is bedecked in hundreds of drooping flower garlands, and the walls groan with enormous portraits of royalty. The mellifluous strains of a chamber orchestra fill the air. Your grip on Eloiseâs arm is tight as you try not to look agog at all the opulence surrounding you.
âAnd I thought Aubrey Hall was grand,â you murmur quietly, and she just guffaws.
â
Benedict arrives late to the soiree from his bachelor lodgings, bustling in as stealthily as possible, knowing he will likely catch his motherâs ire for his tardiness.
But then he sees a sight that makes him temporarily stop dead in his tracks. There, hanging on to his little sister, surveying the room utterly lost in reverie at its grandeurâis you. He has not seen you dressed up as you are now, made over with the full attention of the Bridgerton staff. And he isn't afraid to admit to himself, at least, that it catches his breath. How they have applied cosmetics and styled your hair, emphasising your already evident beauty. And the dress they have chosen⊠well, he is almost ashamed of the heat pooling low in his gut; he has never seen you in such tailored, refined silks.Â
Whosoever marries you shall be quite the luckiest man indeed.
He doesn't miss the way you inhale sharply when your eyes finally land on him, his chest swelling slightly with pride as your lips part in surprise before breaking into that winning smile which always seems to brighten every room, tonight being no exception.
As he pulls up to the family, he hears his mother opining to you about the men attending the ball.
âY/n, I would like to introduce you to Lord Shelton; he is a fine young man with many interests, and he has a lovely estate near Hove,â his mother recounts as you listen intently.
âOh god, no,â Benedict immediately intervenes, âShelton has amassed significant debt at the Pudding Lane gaming hellâŠâÂ
Violet looks up surprised, then raises an eyebrow. âPray tell dear son, how do you have knowledge of such? Benedict Bridgerton, you had better not be frequenting the hells of the East End,â she threatens quietly, in that stern maternal manner that has any grown man quaking in their polished shoes.
âNo, of course not, mother,â he bristles, his eyes cutting briefly to you, not wanting you to think such things of him. âIt is an open secret at Whitesâ, and why he is currently banned from the card room there.â
â
You cannot tear your eyes off Benedict as his mother side-eyes him.
Violet hums sceptically before declaring. âWell, not to worry, there are plenty of other options available for Miss y/l/nâŠâ She steers your attention towards another crowd of young men, all talking and sipping champagne. âBaron Corning, Lord Jennings, Viscount Tewkesbury,â she recounts, nodding subtly to each one. âAny would make a fine addition to your dance card, my dear.âÂ
âWe can do much better than any of them,â Benedict chides.
You are slightly taken aback at how very much he sounds like Anthony tonight; apparently very invested in curating who you should dance with. The problem is, with each additional suggestion his mother makes to you, he roundly dismisses them out of hand.Â
Is no one in attendance up to his standard?
âBenedict, dear, a word?â Violet states pointedly after a third round of his withering opinions. âGet yourself another lemonade,â she smiles at you, patting your hand before looping her arm in her sonâs and dragging him away.
â
His motherâs arm is surprisingly strong when she needs it to be.
âDarling, may I remind you, while Miss Y/l/n is indeed a wonderful person, I do not think we can afford to be too picky for her prospects. Her background is rather⊠unestablished,â Violet points out diplomatically as soon as you are out of earshot.
âWe can do better than braggards, bores and philanderers,â Benedict shoots back, raising a pointed eyebrow.
She looks up at him and sighs. âWell, that is true.â
âAs I thought, mother,â he winks as she affectionately swats his forearm. âWhy not benefit from my knowledge? In fact, perhaps it is prudent I assist in your search for a suitor.âÂ
âOh, is it now?â Her tone suddenly filled with intrigue, her face entirely too scrutinising for his liking. âAnd does not my second son wish to join their ranks?â She adds entirely unsubtly.
âI have no time for romance; I have my art. I am most preoccupied.â He waves a dismissive hand, but even he knows his answer is tellingly brusque.
âAnd yet, you do not seem too busy to assist with the search, dearâŠâ she points out archly.Â
Benedict has no response to that.Â
â
The day after the grand ball, you are sat in the dappled shade in the gardens of Bridgerton House, attempting needlework. It's never been your strength, frankly. You would much rather be allowed to partake in more physical pursuits, like archery or fencing, a want to burn off nervous energy as you await the arrival of any suitors. You did end up dancing with a couple of gentlemen, both of whom wereâŠ. fine⊠in your estimation. Â
After messing up yet another stitch, you throw down the embroidery hoop and emit a deep sigh when a familiar chuckle rings out behind you.
âNot your favourite pastime?â Benedict correctly guesses.
âYou can say that again,â you grumble, twisting to smile at him, a little frisson in your belly at his mere presence, alone as you are.
He rounds to take a seat opposite you, across the table.
âSo let me guess,â his face charmingly skewed into a thoughtful mien. âYou would prefer to be doing something, hmmmm, more athletic?â
You giggle and cast your eyes downwards briefly, abashed he seems to know you so well. âCorrect again.â
âI remember you being a crack shot in archery,â he smiles nostalgically before continuing with genuine curiosity. âWhy did you not continue it?â
âI was informed âtis unbecoming for a lady,â you rue, the mental image of Mrs Parsons deeming such things âunladylikeâ flitting through your mind.
He scoffs. âSince when did fearsome little Skylark care one jot for societal expectations?â he teases gently, with a wink, as again he invokes the nickname he bestowed upon you a long time hence.Â
You smile briefly before you become more sanguine. âSince I have been informed I must find a husbandâŠâ you sigh.
He frowns a touch. âAny man would be lucky to have a wife who can keep him company on the archery field. I know I, for one, would greatly appreciate a spouse with whom I could share such a pastime.âÂ
A bittersweet twinge in your gut that one day he will indeed be married to some deserving, no doubt elegant, lady.
âI would venture that you are not like most gentlemen in that regardâŠâ
âPerhaps not,â he agrees, looking thoughtful, âbut then you are not like most ladies, Skylark.â
âI am not a ladyâŠâ your counterpoint softly-spoken, almost ashamed.
âYou are more lady than any other member of the Ton,â he asserts, his gaze suddenly intense, as if he is willing you to believe his point. âAnd you should be free to pursue any pastime you wish.â
You say nothing, just smile wanly, wishing you could believe it was true.
â
How you constantly doubt yourself causes a little stab behind Benedictâs ribs. A sudden burning need to prove that you should do as you please. He slaps his thighs and stands up swiftly.Â
âIn fact, I am going to go set up the archery targets right now,â he nods decisively, making a beeline for the far corner of the garden where he knows the targets are kept, hoping you will follow.
âComing?â he calls, twisting to look back at you. âI won't tell anyoneâŠâ he adds with a conspiratorial wink, seeing from the involuntary bounce of your leg how much you wish to join in.Â
He cannot help the smile that engulfs his face as you jump to your feet with a mischievous giggle. Nor can he help deliberately aiming badly, letting you roundly defeat him at target practice, basking in the victorious glint in your eye as you tease him gently for losing.Â
He also pretends not to notice his mother watching from a high window, her expression riveted and so very telling.
â
Later that day, you are reading quietly with Eloise when Violet sweeps into the drawing room with her lady's maid.Â
âY/n, Sir Denton is here to see you,â she smiles brightly.Â
âOh, IâŠâ you stutter, sitting upright, surprised.
âI can send him away, Miss?â The maid offers, intuiting your disquiet.
âNo, no, it is fine⊠I am just surprised, that is all. âTis almost 4pm. I was not expecting that anyone would be calling, given the late hour.â
Benedict suddenly materialises in the doorway. As ever, thereâs that trademark flutter in your chest.
âAny reason Denton is lingering in the hallway?â he inquires airily, grabbing a teacup and pouring himself some.
âHe is here for y/n,â Violet breezes as his eyes cut to you, a wave of irritation seeming to cloud his face.
âWell, we should dismiss him,â Benedict sniffs, pausing in his action, his face souring.
âWhy?â Violet frowns.
âI had a chance to look into his past since I acquiesced to his dance with y/n last nightâŠâ
âAcquiesced?!â Violet scoffs, but Benedict ignores her interjection, save for a curt eyebrow raise.
âI have subsequently discovered he has vastly overstated his assets,â Benedict bristles imperiously.
âWho woke up and made you Anthony?â Eloise pipes up witheringly.
Benedict shoots her a look of irritation. âAnthony has deputised me to run family matters while he is away on business this week, sister,â he reminds pointedly.
âYes, but you did not have to adopt his personality as well,â Eloise shoots back, disgust evident on her face.
âI take finding y/n here, a suitable match, seriously,â he volleys. âDo you wish to see your good friend married to someone unworthy of her?â
âWell, noâŠâ
âThen kindly permit me to handle matters,â Benedict orders with finality, uncharacteristically forthright in his opinions.
âI do not wish to see her married at allâŠâ Eloise mutters under her breath as he stalks away to dispatch Denton before anyone can argue.
You just sit there mildly dumbfounded, unsure what to make of it all.Â
â
The following evening, you are attending a music recital with the Bridgertons; Benedict is notably absent, which makes you a touch melancholic in a way you donât want to dwell on.Â
However, the evening turns for the better while you are taking refreshments at the interval. A friendly-faced young man strikes up a conversation with you after an introduction from Violet.
âAre you enjoying the music tonight, Miss y/l/n?â he asks genially.
âIt is very nice, Lord Glassborough,â you offer politely, trying to stifle your slight boredom. You enjoy music, but a two-hour concert is a little too much for you. You much prefer a short set of songs as they play at balls.
âI find it rather dull myself,â he opines quietly, leaning in. âI much prefer a lively song one may dance to.â
You know your face is a picture of surprise that his opinion is an exact mirror of your own.
âHave I offended you so?â he checks, looking mildly contrite.
âNot at all, my lord. I was actually just thinking the same myself,â you chuckle quietly.
He looks inordinately pleased and breaks into a friendly, toothy grin. He seems like a nice, agreeable sort. A pleasant, if not particularly handsome, face. Over his shoulder, you see Violet looking inordinately pleased you appear to be getting on so well.
â
âI am not sure I can do this...â you sigh as Ms West genially taps the metronome.
âYou can, dear; just remember your finger placement,â she encourages as your fingers fall to the cool ivory keys.
And so you begin again. Attempting to master this tricky piece, your eyes tracing the lines of music as you play the pianoforte. Violet is so keen for you to brush up on your skills, given Lord Glassboroughâs interest in you yesterday. You could not find an adequate excuse fast enough, and so here you are, in a slightly reluctant music lesson, trying your best to recall how Mrs Parsons taught you to play a few years ago.
âMen do so appreciate a lady who can entertain them with exquisite music,â Ms West nods approvingly as you play.
Mostly, you are relieved when you make it to the end with no mistakes, at least none glaringly obvious.
âI much prefer to singâŠâ you admit tacitly as Ms West shuffles the sheet music.
She looks at you surprised, then shoos you from the piano stool. âSing for me then, my dearâŠâ taking a seat and beginning the opening bars to a song that, fortunately, you know well.
You begin to sing along, growing more confident with every note, allowing yourself to get lost in the words, the story of a lady awaiting her true love.
âExceptional!â she peals delightedly over the sound, and you feel bolstered to continue, her playing the perfect accompaniment.
â
Benedict stops short as soon as he enters the house. The most lilting, beautiful sound echoing gently down the marble hall.
âWho is that Jenkins?â he asks of the butler who takes his coat.
âI believe it is Miss y/l/n, sir.â
He draws inexorably closer, finding himself watching you through the crack in the doorway, listening to you sing a touching tale of love that sounds so hauntingly hypnotic in your mellifluous tones. Your eyes are closed, and you sway to the melody, lost in reverie, in the narrative you weave.
The piano stops abruptly.
âCan we help you, sir?â an elder lady calls crisply.
Benedict realises the door has crept open slightly before him, enough for him to be seen by your music teacher. He watches as you swing around and look horrified that you may have an audience. It makes him take a resolute step forward into the room.
âDo you need us to desist? Is it perhaps too loud?â the lady checks deferentially, likely assuming him to be the head of the household.
âNo!â His reply is a touch too forceful. âPlease continue,â he modifies. âI was merely drawn by the splendid sound I heard. I am not sure I have ever heard such a wondrous voice,â he adds, keeping his gaze steadfastly upon the lady, not able to look you in the eye as he confesses as such.Â
â
You are mortified when you realise Benedict heard you singing; you have always managed to keep it private, until now at least. But now your heart is suddenly pounding at his extolling words.
âShe does indeed have a most excellent voice,â Ms West concurs with his sentiment, looking at you expectantly as Benedict walks further into the room, his face with the same hopeful expression.
âI am not sure I canâŠâ you stumble, nervous for an audience, most especially him; his is the opinion that would matter to you the mostâyou would be crestfallen should he not like it.
âSing more for me, please, Skylark?â His ask is gentle, beseeching as if it were just the two of you alone.
âSkylark?â Ms West sounds enchanted.
âMy childhood nickname for Miss y/l/n,â Benedict explains as he takes a seat.Â
âSkylarks have a wonderful song,â she sighs wistfully.
âIndeed,â Benedict chimes, his eyes still upon you. âI never knew how appropriate it was until this very moment.â
Something warm cracks in your chest at his sweet words, making you courageous. At least enough to nod when Ms West looks to you again from the piano. And so you restart the song for your special audience, heart in your mouth. The words coming easily to you, an extra layer of meaning he will never know as you sing words of unrequited devotion, looking to him in your braver moments. His face is enrapt, leaning forward, his eyes soft and expressive.Â
As you reach a high note at the end of the song, holding it, Benedict bursts into applause, jumping up from his seat and taking you by surprise, grabbing your gloved hands in his.
âYou should always be singing SkylarkâŠâ he pronounces. âTruly beautiful. Please promise me, no matter what happens, that you will always, always singâŠâÂ
You duck your head briefly, unsure how to deal with his effusive praise. Ms Westâs face is a picture as you stand there, your hands still trapped in his, feeling a tingle where the warmth of his skin seeps through the layers to yours.
âI-I-I promise,â you reply meekly, a touch dazed as you raise your eyes again to meet his, the intensity making your lungs restrict.
âThank you.âÂ
Two words have never sounded so sincere or loaded with significance.Â
III: ⊠And I Do.
A few days later, it is the Trowbridge Ball, a decadent affair that is usually the most talked about of the season, apparently. You share a carriage ride there with Benedict and Eloise, trying your best not to stare at himâso handsomely dressed in a white cravat and black velvet cropped jacket that clings to his tapered shape. But mostly, you fail. Your skin flushes hot the more you look at him. You could swear that his gaze strays to you, too, subtly sweeping the fine teal silk Madam Delacroix has expertly tailored for you.
âYou look beautiful this evening, ladies,â he offers politely to both you and Eloise.
âWhat do you want?â Eloise cuts across your reply, narrowing her eyes at her older brother, instantly suspicious of his flattery.
âCan I not compliment without an ulterior motive?â he frowns, their usual sibling dynamic emerging.
âNot usually,â Eloise sniffs, with another suspicious glance, before looking out the carriage window.
You take the opportunity to mumble your thanks to him. His responding smile warms your entire being, his hazy eyes lingering in a way that makes your skin prickle. And when he offers a chivalrous hand to assist you down from the carriage, you could swear his hand lingers upon yours a few seconds longer than is necessary.Â
Around an hour later, as you go to partake in a refreshment, a sneering Lady Cowper utters something cruel under her breath as you pass, her sour-looking daughter smirking beside her. You do not hear all of the words, but you do not need to. One sideways glance tells you all that you need to know. It seems so unnecessarily cruel, never having even exchanged so much as a word with you, but even as you feel a lump in your throat, their attention is already elsewhere.
âAh! Mr Briddgerton,â her entire demeanour changing to oleaginous charm, âmy daughter looks particularly stunning tonight, does she not? I do believe you should secure a place upon her dance card before there are none left!âÂ
You watch Benedict blanch at the very words.
âI do not dance, Lady Cowper, but I bid you ladies a good evening,â he responds, polite but firm.
You try your hardest not to giggle at the disdained look on their faces as he sweeps past them, and you feel light as air as, instead, he draws up to you and winks.
âThat woman does not realise she is doing her daughterâs prospects more harm than good with her brashness,â he comments dryly as he grabs a glass of champagne from the stand next to you.
âI am not so sure the daughter would do much better without her; she seems perpetually furious about her own hairstyle,â you opine sardonically, making Benedict snort loudly into his champagne glass. A lightness fizzles in your being as he shoots you a look of unmistakable admiration for that remark.
âI daresay you are a much better dancer than her,â he contends, not breaking eye contact, placing aside his drink before leaning in and continuing in a hushed voice. âPerhaps you would do me the honour of a dance, Skylark, to confirm my suspicion?â
There is a vault in your chest as he employs your private nickname in public and, not only that, is offering you a dance when, just a moment ago, he declared publicly that he would not.Â
You can only nod, heart hammering, as he breaks out into the most handsome smile, offering you his arm and leading you to the centre of the room as you hear a ripple go through the nearby crowd. Apparently the sight of one Benedict Bridgerton taking to the dancefloor is a rare occasion indeed.
â
As he takes your gloved hand in his and curls an arm around your shoulder, he realises this was perhaps a mistake. An impromptu offer, the hollow thrill of petty revenge for the insult he observed the Cowpers sling at you. But now he realises it has rather backfired upon him.
He cares not a jot for the gossiping, people nodding and pointing to you both as you begin to dance. No, the problem is much more concerning than that.Â
It is how discombobulated he feels having you in his arms.
How your body seems to fit and move perfectly with his. How, when you dare to look up at him, his mouth goes a little dry. He has never truly noticed how striking your eyes are until seeing them this close. Indeed, the evident beauty of your face, the way you seem to glow from within, more tonight than ever. It makes his chest - and somewhere else on his body - feel entirely too tight.
â
Nothing could have prepared you for this.
The feeling of literally being swept off your feet. With Benedict's handsome face smiling down upon you as you seem to float around the dancefloor.Â
Surely, this is what dreams are made of?
You know it is a flight of fancy, but it seems as though the floor beneath your feet is a shower of diamonds rather than candlelight refracted through chandeliers. The warmth and strength of Benedictâs embrace caged around you, respectful but so close it makes your lungs feel too small to gasp the air you need to keep moving. But you never want to stop. A whirlwind of sensation as you twirl, carried away by the music, the man, the moment.
âThank you, Benedict,â you breathe, knowing you are likely looking up at him far too adoringly but unable to mask it, a burning need for him to know how grateful you are for this dance, not even noting your over-familial use of his first name at a society event.Â
His eyes flash and you could swear they dilate a fraction before you must turn your back to him, following the steps.
âI was right,â he rumbles cryptically from behind you now, his large hands wrapped around yours as you hold them aloft together, following the moves of the dance. âIt is indeed an honour to dance with you.âÂ
Your belly flares as you turn in unison and realise that you are now dancing right in front of Cressida, her expression murderous. It makes you bolder than you have ever been, tilting your head sideways a fraction so your cheek almost brushes Benedictâs, fuelled by the envy you feel seething from within her.
You could swear he sighs âSkylarkâ as his hot breath tickles your ear, your chest pounding, a flavour in the air you can taste, a powerful stirring low in your belly.
â
Benedict knows this is a dangerous path and yet is powerless to do anything but walk it. Breathing your nickname into your hair as he inhales your scent, heightened by the movement of your dancing. A light, sweet floral perfume but underneath the smell of you, familiar from many years of friendship but altered now, more decadent, an undercurrent of tart berries that thrills and stirs deep within him. Even while knowing his ever-vigilant mother is watching, an inscrutable expression upon her face.Â
He is almost grateful when the music ends before he does something foolish. But then you are staring up into his face, all doe-eyed expectant beauty and his tongue feels unexpectedly tied. He is almost grateful when an interrupting hand wraps around his shoulder. Â
â
You watch Will Mondrich whisper in Benedictâs ear, and before you know it, he is offering apologies to you with a shallow, polite bow before hurrying away. Coming back to reality with a bump, you drift awkwardly from the dance floor, feeling judgy eyes upon you, suddenly flooded with concern your behaviour was entirely too wanton.Â
Before your thoughts can spiral too far, however, someone materialises at your side.
âI do so hope your dance card is not full tonight, Miss y/l/n,â a newly-familiar, chipper voice cut in.
âLord Glassborough,â you breathe; your relief at seeing his cordial face is palpable. âI am available to dance right now,â you smile politely, taking his proffered arm and letting him lead you back out to the spot you and Benedict had just vacated.
As the music begins and you move together, the difference is⊠noticeable. Gone is the frisson over your limbs, that excitement as if your skin could vibrate off your bones. Instead you feel comforted, almost a brotherly presence as he leads you in the dance. He is technically proficient, but it feels lackingâthat tension, that heat burning in the space between you. It makes you yearn for Benedict even though he was just with you. It makes your stomach settle with a leaden weight you realise you will have to settle for less than what you truly desire.
Still distracted by your mental comparison, you absently acquiesce to his suggestion to take some air upon the terrace as the dance ends. You sense Violet, ever the vigilant chaperone, follow as he leads you into the cooler air outside.Â
âMiss y/l/nâŠ,â Lord Glassborough begins cautiously. You sense a nervousness in his being, pulling your full focus to him. âI think us most compatible, would you not agree?â
âWe make most excellent friends, indeed, Lord Glassborough,â you hedge, not wanting to appear overzealous.
âAnd friendship is the most appropriate foundation to build something more⊠tender,â he argues with a smile. âI do believe I could offer you a most agreeable life.âÂ
There is a strange twinge in your chest as suddenly, you realise what this is. The moment everyone, except perhaps yourself, has been awaiting all season.
âI would be honoured if you would consent to be my wife, Miss y/l/n,â he humbly offers a sincere kindness shining in his eyes.
And there it is. An offer of marriage from a perfectly nice, respectable gentleman done in an appropriate manner.Â
To one side, you see Violet clutch a hand over her chest, face delighted, even as you form fists within your delicate gloves, wishing this moment were not happening so soon after a truly breathtaking dance with the man of your dreams. Who is not the same man as the one before you, nervously shuffling from foot to foot, awaiting your reply.Â
âI am honoured, Lord Glassborough,â you answer cautiously, bowing your head demurely. âThis is a big decision to make. Please allow me time to give you my proper, considered answer?â
âOf course,â he bows chivalrously, his accommodating nature making this moment all the more bittersweet. He is indeed a lovely man.Â
He is just not the one you want with every fibre of your being.
â
That night, you cannot sleep. Knowing you have the most significant decision of your life to make. So, in the small hours, you find yourself drifting to the deserted kitchen of Bridgerton House to do what you do best when you need to think calmlyâbaking.Â
An activity you have grown up doing with Mrs Parsons. Many hours spent happily with flour dusting your hands, sun streaming into her grand but homely kitchen. A perhaps slightly maverick pastime for a lady of her social standing, with staff to do such things for her should she wish it, but so very enjoyable nonetheless.Â
Throwing a large, heavy baking apron over your nightdress and robe, you potter around, the flagstone of the basement floor cold underfoot, a grounding feeling that stops your mind from racing too much.
You have no idea how to respond to Glassboroughâs proposal. On one hand, he is a seemingly nice man, certainly of a good family. You are sure he would be a perfectly acceptable husband, unlikely to be mean or untoward. It is just⊠a nagging voice is telling you to turn him down despite him being an imminently sensible choice, your heart wanting, well, the impossible. A man that excites you, not just a safe, practical option.
You are onto your second batch of lemon and rosemary biscuits when a voice makes you jump out of your skin.
âWhat on earthâŠ?â
There in the doorway is Benedict, looking confounded to find you here. The very man who makes your heart skip, always. He is dressed the most casually you have ever seen himâ also barefoot, in a white frilled shirt and dark trousers, brocade braces slung around his hips. You swear you may have to grab the bench before you to stay upright.
âY/n! We have cooks you can call upon at any time should you need food!â he fusses, instantly concerned, moving to ring a bell on the wall.
âNo! Please do not!â You exclaim, rushing to stop him, grabbing his sleeve in your haste. âI-I enjoy baking. It is relaxing; it helps me to think.â
His brow knits and his eyes flick down to your hold on his sleeve, a warm vein pulsing under your fingertips. You snatch your hand away quickly, a blush staining your cheeks, mumbling an apology as you scurry back to your biscuit-making.
âAlright,â he concedes slowly, still appearing confused. âWhen I saw the sconces lit from the rear stairwell, I assumed one of the staff was still down here.â
You find it bemusing that he seems at pains to justify why he might also be in the kitchen, especially to you, a guest. This is Bridgerton House, and he is a Bridgerton. He may go wherever he pleases, surely? And yet here he is, doing so.
âI was rather hoping for some hot cocoa,â he explains with that soft, crooked smile that always makes your heart flutter.
âOh! Well, umm, I could make you some cocoa?â you look down, wiping your hands upon your apron and moving to do so.
â
That you would make such an offer, as if seeing yourself as unpaid help, spurs him into action.
âNo, you certainly will not!â He decries, moving swiftly towards the larder before you can. âI am perfectly fine with some cold milk,â he assures, re-emerges with a bottle and pouring himself a glass, leaning back against the sink to take a sip.
Despite the lateness of the hour, he finds your heretofore secret pastime strangely fascinating. A lady who bakes. By choice. So he watches as you return to making your biscuit dough, entertained as you begin to beat the mixture quite furiously with a wooden spatula.
âHave those ingredients caused you some sort of personal offenceâŠ.?â he jests lightly, nodding to the bowl.
He observes a flit of contrition across your face before you answer.
âI, umm, have a decision that I must make; baking helps me think,â you explain vaguely, then appear to rapidly change the subject. âI am, however, sure of one fact - some biscuits are a must to accompany milk. There is a completed batch over there.â
âGenius,â he opines with a wink, enthusiastically moving to grab one from the cooling rack you signalled to, delighting in the blush that darkens your cheeks. But he decides to push the topic you abruptly avoided. Concerned there could be a topic you are genuinely wrestling with. If his opinion on the matter can ameliorate your burdens, he would be most honoured to assist.
âWhat sort of decision must you make?â he inquires before temporarily losing the power of speech. There is an explosion of tart lemon and earthy herb on his tongue that melts into a buttery sweetness, utterly divine. âLord alive, these are delicious!!!â he exclaims around the mouthful.
âThank you,â you answer softly.Â
You are always so modest about your talents; it sometimes makes him want to grab your shoulders and shake you gently. To make you see what he does.Â
âTo answer your question, it is a perplexing matter that needs serious consideration,â you explain, stopping short of detail. It appears you are not yet ready to share the news with him. Something about that makes him a touch sad, but he also does not want to pry if you are reluctant to divulge.Â
â
Benedict swallows the bite he has taken, and you find yourself staring at the movement of his throat as he does. Knowing one thing to be trueâif it were his proposal, you would not even hesitate for a split second. That wistful thought makes you suddenly melancholic, and you sigh, pushing aside your mixing bowl, realising this may be an issue baking will not fix.
âI do so hate to see you doubt yourself, Skylark,â he offers quietly after a beat, mien so earnest. âTrust yourself. You will find the right answer for your dilemma; I am certain of it.â
He is so remarkably supportive that, ironically, you almost want to scream at him.
âI should leave you to your thoughts,â his tone is gentle, reluctant.
âPlease, there is no need, Benedict,â you try to assure. âTo be honest, in all of this world, yours is the company I enjoy the very mostâŠâ
That truth is out of your mouth before you can censor it.Â
You sheepishly glance over to be met by a surprised look on his face. He takes a few steps towards you, probably without realising it, and suddenly, he is very close, faint wisps of his woodsy, citrus cologne tickling your nose.
âAnd I, yours, SkylarkâŠâ he rumbles, his gaze falling to your lips.Â
Time seems to stop, and you feel pinned under glass, staring up into his handsome face as he breathes slightly ragged, your body rioting as he engulfs your senses, definitely too close to be considered gentlemanly, politeâŠ
âŠBut then, he takes a sharp inhale and steps back as if coming to his senses. He turns heel with a hastily muttered goodbye, and before you know it, he is gone. Leaving you bewildered, your thoughts scattered.
â
The following day, Benedict is idly reading the paper, partaking in a leisurely lunch of tea and cake, when his mother swans in, reeling off a set of instructions for her lady's maid.
âOh, and lastly, do not forget, we should secure an appointment with the modiste, in case Miss y/l/n should know her answer todayâŠâ Violet concludes breezily as she takes a seat.
âYet another ball we must suffer, mother?â Benedict drawls drily, folding down his paper and taking a hearty bite of zesty lemon drizzle.
She shoots her son an exasperated look before neatly smoothing a serviette into her lap as she is served her usual afternoon Earl Grey by the butler. âMiss y/l/n will be in need of a wedding dress, Benedict, dear.â
He spits an array of crumbs onto his newspaper, coughing in shock. âShe will need what?!?â he wheezes, barely recovering.
âLord Glassborough proposed to Miss y/l/n last night, my dear, at the ball. She has yet to give her answer, but I am certain she will. They are a fine match,â Violet declares, taking a sip of tea.
âWhy did she not mention it to me?â he mutters, more to himself than anyone, his forehead creasing heavily in a frown as he swallows the rest of his mouthful.
âWhy would she have?â Â
âWe talked last nightâŠâ letting slip perhaps too much in his perplexed state, lost in his own tumbling thoughts.
âWhen last night? We returned from the ball very late,â a suspicious tone in his motherâs voice, belatedly releasing he should know better than to think aloud; she is sharp as a tack.
âI-I found Miss y/l/n baking last night⊠in the kitchen when I went for cocoa⊠she told me she had a dilemma she was wrestling withâŠâ he admits, looking down at the paper, the words now a jumble before his eyes. âMother do you think it is possible she will say yes??â Benedict's head snaps up, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears.
âShe would be a fool not to,â Violet points out, raising a perfectly arched eyebrow at him. âUnless there was another, perhaps more wanted, proposal she could consider. Do you possibly know of one? Son?âÂ
Even he can read between those lines.Â
âI-I am late,â he abruptly changes tack. âI promised to meet Anthony today to discuss the soil at Aubrey,â he bustles rapidly, standing and fleeing the room before he can allow his mother to see how much of a complete lie that is.
â
Benedict spends the afternoon at Whiteâs, downing perhaps one too many whiskeys as he grills his fellow patrons upon the Glassborough family. Looking for any reason he can find to object to the betrothal while steadfastly refusing to examine why he feels so passionately about the subject. He also spends time checking the hefty tomes of Debrettâs the club holds.
He returns to Bridgerton House just as dusk settles in, the sky streaking red and pink as he enters.
âWhere have you been, dear?â Violet asks as he rounds into the parlour.
âResearching,â he gruffs economically.
âWhat? Or rather whom?â Violet inquires, revealing she already has a firm idea of what she asks.
âI can find nothing wrong with him!â
Benedict paces, an energy emanating from his being as if he is rattled by that very fact.
âThat is a good thing, is it not, son?â Violet reminds pointedly. âWe want y/n married to a good gentlemanâŠâ
Benedict shoots her an exasperated look but relents. âI supposeâŠâ
âIs not your reluctance perhaps for another reason, my dear?â Her question is gentle, if not particularly subtle.
He slumps into a wingback chair with a defeated sigh. âGo ahead. Say your piece, mother.â
âI have watched you, darling,â she begins gently, watching him tip his head back and screw his eyes shut. âI do not know exactly when, but your regard of Miss y/l/n has altered, and I am not the only one to observe it.â
Benedict's eyes fly open, and he tips his head down with a frown as his mother continues.
âEven Colin has marked a change in you. If you feel anything, my dear, then Miss y/l/n has the right to know. Before it is too late. The right to make an informed choice if you are bold enough to give her one. Son, I have only ever wanted my childrenâs happiness. And if your happiness lies somewhere that perhaps even you have not realised until nowâŠ. well then I encourage you to follow it. Follow your heart.â
Her impassioned speech suddenly makes the pieces of a jumbled jigsaw before his eyes arrange into a pattern, a way forward that is suddenly clear and sharply in focus.
It makes him leap to his feet, an urgency thronging in his being.
âWhere is Miss y/l/n?â he almost barks.Â
âI do not know,â Violet confesses, âbut I do know she has not yet seen or written to Lord Glassborough,â she adds.
âGoodâŠâ he rasps, headed determined out of the room to find you.
â
The verdant lush grass is cool between your toes as you curl them over, sighing heavily, the night now dark, a twinkle of silver among the navy sky, soon to be black. The swing under the big oak, a refuge you have sought many times since staying at Bridgerton House, feels a particularly poignant place to be tonight as an internal war rages within you, your decision swaying back and forth as much as the wooden seat you are perched upon, the rope digging into your cheekbone as you slump against it, flummoxed.
You know what your answer to Glassborough should be. Indeed, what it should have been from the moment he asked.Â
A resounding yes.
In every practical measure, this is the best possible outcome of your London season. A proposal from a thoroughly decent, acceptable gentleman, way above the station you were expecting, given your less than prestigious certainty of lineage.
And yet.
And yet.
There is a large part of you, your heart, that wants to turn down the proposal, foolhardy as that may be. Wanting to feel akin to what you felt as you danced with Benedict last night. You are not so foolish as to believe he would ever propose, but perhaps there is someone else out there for you that may evoke something similar for you? Even if only half, it would be enough. Enough for you to build a future around and feel contentment in your heart, to not just settle for what your head knows to be a sensible choice.Â
â
Having searched the house, he rounds into the garden and stops short, heart leaping into his throat as he spies you, swaying gently upon the swing, looking thoroughly lost in thought. It makes his chest ache that you are so melancholic about a decision that should indeed be joyous. The selfish part of him celebrating, hoping that perhaps you are not. His memory recalls with perfect clarity how you have looked as lost as he now feels every time you have been close. The unbearable lightness of hope seizes his legs and draws him inexorably closer.
â
You whip around as you sense company and have to take a deep breath as your eyes fall upon Benedict. His face pinched with a restless intensity.
âI was hoping I would find you,â he exhales.
âYou have,â you shrug, still confused by his crackling energy, him seeming in a rush to say something.
âSkylark, you deserve the very best of everything. Sincerely. And part of that includes that you should know the truth in the hearts of those lucky enough to know youâŠâ a slight quake in his voice as he takes a step closer.
âAlrightâŠâ you respond cautiously, your brow creasing as you sense the nerves emanating from him.
You gasp as he rapidly drops to one knee before you, a hand clutched to his chest.Â
âI have been a fool to not see it before now. My own ardent admiration for you, for your talents, for your beauty. I realise now, perhaps too late, that you are truly the most wondrous, precious being in this world. You may not always see it, but it would be my greatest honour to show you, every day, if you will permit me, what I see when I look upon you. What I have always seen if I am honest with myself. A light that shines brighter than any other, a bird that soars higher and sings more sweetly than any other. A soul that it would be a privilege to be bound to. I know it is perhaps the worst possible timing, seeing as you already have a proposal from a perfectly acceptable gentleman. Still, I could not let you get married without letting you know the contents of my heart.â
You are stunned. Speechless.Â
Your heart pounds in your ribcage as you sit there stupified for what must be an age, Benedict looking upon you expectantly, breath slightly ragged from his long speech. Somehow, convincing yourself this could only be a dream. That the man you have adored since before you can remember has just made the most beautiful poetic confession of love you have ever heard. And itâs to you.
So, you do the only logical thing that comes to mind. Pinch your own leg. Hard.
â
Benedict is momentarily confounded at your actions.
âOwwww!â you yelp. âNot dreaming thenâŠâ is your muttered follow-up, rubbing your own knee as his face morphs into the most enormous grin, a lightning bolt of joy tearing through him as he realises what you are doing, that you can scarcely believe this is happening any more than he can.
âIt is really me, Skylark,â he chuckles softly, seeing the way your eyes dilate rapidly as he can't help the lopsided grin that claims his face, a warmth behind his ribs that is just for you.
âI realise that now,â you sass back, and there is a stirring in his trousers at the tone you employ.
âI love you.âÂ
It's a reflex; he doesn't even realise he says it. But as soon as it's out of his mouth, it's like an invisible burden has been lifted from his entire being. The truth. Plain. Simple. Honest.
â
You know your face is aflame as you snap back at him, entirely without meaning to, but then he says three little words that tilt your whole world even more.Â
âI-I-I love you too.â
You are bewildered when you say it aloud.Â
 The truth. Plain. Simple. Honest.
âMarry me? Please. My darling, wonderful friend,â he implores, his bare hands grabbing yours, tingles shooting over you as your skin touches his.
âYes!! I will!!!â you answer breathlessly, not even a second of hesitation.Â
He leans in and captures your lips with his. They are warm and soft as they move gently with yours. And when he opens your mouth with his and his tongue rolls delicately over yours, it feels as if all the fireworks you have seen in the sky live now inside you, popping and exploding in a riot of colour. A whole new world of sensual pleasure is promised in that one move.
âAre you certain?â you murmur as you break apart for air, a flash of insecurity that this is happening so fast, even as there is a strong pull inside, a want to keep kissing him over and over.
He smiles, tilting his forehead to yours, a wistful look in his blue eyes.
âTo know you, truly know you, is to love you, Skylark,â he sighs, his words a blanket settling over your quaking heart. âAnd I do. I truly do.â
Summary: Seeing you with other Bridgerton offspring has an interesting effect on your new husband...
I couldn't resist using a Season 3 gif cos hello.
Warnings: 18+ smut, minors DNI, breeding kink, dirty talk, mutual masturbation, vaginal sex, creampie, ie filthy babymaking. Also, the smut is bookended by fluff; yeah, that probably needs a warning, lol.
Word Count: 4.2k
Authors Note: This is a very belated request fill for @victoriaholland (HERE) and Anon (HERE) about Benedict with a touch of baby fever. I decided to combine the asks as I saw a way to weave them together. Sorry for the delay, but well at least babymaking seems appropriate for spring hehe. Thank you to @colettebronte for being an awesome beta, as always. Err, Enjoy! <3
Daphneâs latest child is beautiful; you delight in his joy as he bounces on your lap, learning the strength of his sweetly chubby legs, little fists wrapped tight around your fingers.Â
Looking up, you catch your husband's eye from afar, his stare intense across the gardens of Bridgerton House as you sit under a tented shelter upon a picnic blanket. The rest of the family are scattered around, playing games or chatting, but you are quite content minding the little one while his nanny takes a few moments to eat lunch.
âIs everything alright, my love?â You inquire as Benedict draws closer.Â
âYes⊠IâŠ.â He seems a little flustered.Â
âAre you sure?âÂ
You pull a funny face for the infant, who breaks out into the most adorable infectious giggles that has you grinning from ear to ear and hugging him into your body, swaying with him.Â
âAre you alright? Minding the child?â He checks, his voice a touch odd.
âOh yes. We are more than happy, are we not, my little prince?â You talk in a vaguely silly baby-talk voice, addressing the child in your arms as much as Benedict.Â
Again, the child peals with delighted noises and spit bubbles enthusiastically, looking up at Benedict eagerly as much as you do.
âWell, that is wonderful news,â he blusters, and you could swear he is out of sorts, breathless almost. âI shall⊠leave you to it,â he adds, giving you a bow and then withdrawing as the little one wiggles out of your arms.
âIgnore your Uncle Benedict; he is being a silly billy,â you whisper conspiratorially once the man in question is out of earshot.
The response is babbled nonsense as the child bashes one wooden brick against another.
âI quite agree,â you state sagely before breaking into a goofy grin.
ââ
âPlease?â Hyacinth wheedles.
âNo, Hy,â you sigh without even looking up.
âUgh, you are no fun!â she scowls, crossing her arms defiantly.
âWhat is all this?â Anthony clips as he strides into the drawing room, Benedict on his heels, as Hyacinth flounces dramatically across the room.Â
âYour little sister is angry at me because I will not allow her to drink the punch; it has brandy in it,â you explain cooly.
âQuite right, too!â Anthony chimes as Hyacinth rolls her eyes.
âListen to y/n, Hyacinth, and do as she says,â Anthony lectures, and you feel grateful for his support, effectively neutering her rebellion. âDespite a temporary lapse of judgment when choosing a spouse, she is otherwise one of the most sensible people in this family.â
âHeyâŠ!â Benedict protests.
âPleaseâŠâ Anthony withers, twisting towards him. âBrother, if there is one thing us Bridgerton men know how to do, âtis to marry a woman entirely too good for us. And well done on that, by the way.â
You smirk at Anthonyâs hilarious way of putting his brother - your husband - in his place, catching Kateâs eye with a wink as she enters the room carrying her baby.Â
âY/n, come and meet the future Viscount; heâs awake at last,â she calls to you.Â
You are immediately on your feet and grinning, taking the tiny bundle from her arms and cooing at the sweet little boy. The baby opens his enormous brown eyes and observes you for a second before breaking into a one-toothed grin and happily waving his fists at you.
âOh, he really likes you!â Kate enthuses, delighted.
âAs I do you, little one,â you smile, leaning over to kiss his forehead.
You look up to see Benedict with that same look on his face as earlier. A tempest, almost an energy over his being. Itâs almost as if he is⊠aroused?! Which is most odd.
As you hand the baby back to Kate, giving him one final kiss, Benedict is suddenly by your side. Announcing to the family that there has been a change of plan and, regrettably, you will not be able to stay for dinner, his arm an insistent tug around your waist.
ââ
âWhy did we not stay for family dinner as originally planned, my love?âÂ
Your question is soft, only just audible over the noise of the carriage as you trundle over the cobbled streets of Mayfair a few minutes later.Â
âI decided that we should perhaps dine at ours this eveningâŠâ his voice adopting that deeper edge which always causes butterflies in your tummy. His hand lands on your knee, a heavy weight that feels portentous. He slides closer on the bench seat.
âWhy might that be?â your ask turns breathy, entirely without you meaning it to.
âI want to be alone with you,â he murmurs, unmistakably pitched to arouse.Â
The carriage seems to notch up a few degrees as the rocking motion presses your side rhythmically into his. The sound of the wheels and hooves is so loud. He twists to wrap an arm around your shoulder and pulls your back against his flank.Â
âAll day today, I have watched you,â he rumbles, hand warming the skin around your clavicle, fingertip brushing in circles. âYou are so very good with children, darling. Seeing you so naturally with the babies and how you handled Hyacinth⊠you would be the perfect mother.â
You blush a little at his praise. âThank you, my love. I would like children one day. Your children. Imagine a child with your eyes. They would be quite the most beautiful,â you sigh wistfully, leaning back into him, his hand feeling heavier on your skin.
Benedict chuckles modestly. âAnd what of your beauty? Would a child version of you not be the most fetching?â
You giggle and turn your head sideways to nuzzle against his jaw. âI think we would indeed make beautiful babies together, Benedict.â
âI agree,â his voice a tempting lilt, fingers skating downwards over the swell of your breast now, slipping inside the fabric and making you gasp as he tweaks your nipple. âAnd I think we should start as soon as we get home.â
âDid seeing me with babies suddenly make you want your own, Mr Bridgerton?â Your hand flexes on his knee as he toys with your breast.
âOh yes darling, it made me want to take you right thereâŠâ he asserts, finally admitting those looks he gave you were indeed pure arousal.
You reach up and run your hand into his hair, fingers flexing on his warm scalp as you pull his face to yours. âAnd suddenly, it appears I am no longer hungry for dinnerâŠâ you whisper flirtatiously, your cupid's bow brushing his stubbled upper lip.
He groans, and his passionate kiss is plundering, a tingle running over your limbs, just as your carriage comes to a shuddering stop outside your townhome.Â
Uncaring of the neighbourhood or any prying eyes, Benedict sweeps you out of the carriage in his arms, carrying you bridal style over the pavement and through your front door.
âMy wife and I are not to be disturbed,â he announces crisply and loudly to the staff as you enter the hallway.
Leaving no room for doubt about his plans by pulling you into a searing kiss for all to see before ascending the stairs rapidly. He practically growls as he kicks open the door to your master bedroom door and slams it shut again with his foot.Â
âBenedictâŠâ you stammer, heart pounding at how overwrought he is.Â
You have never seen him like this. Commanding, crackling with an energy that has your body simmering. He is usually so sweet, affable, and kind. Every time you have been intimate since your wedding night a few weeks ago, he has been a complete gentleman: loving and so very tender. The grip he has had on you tonight feels different. This is something primalâlike a switch has been flipped at a basal level in his being.
He places you down onto your feet before the roaring fire, his face intense.
âWifeâŠâ The way he says it makes you feel a flush creep over your skin.
âHusbandâŠâ you respond in kind, belly fluttering with excitement.
âTake off your dress,â he orders, his dilated pupils shining in the firelight.
This is new. Usually, he is the one to remove it slowly and softly from your body.Â
âI cannot, the buttonsâŠâ you confess, signalling behind you. You would need your ladies' maid to unhook them from between your shoulder blades. Â
He moves closer, seeming so much taller; his ragged breaths dance in the tendrils of your hair as he reaches around behind your shoulders. With a rough tug that makes you startle, he tears the fabric asunder, the sound of tiny pearl buttons skittering across the polished wooden floor behind you as you gasp in surprise.
âThereâŠâ he smirks dangerously, âproblem resolved.â
You are speechless as he withdraws a pace, looking at you expectantly. You follow his order, a slight quake in your hands as you push the frayed dress down your body, still a little shocked by his strength. Then you reach for the crisscross lacing of your stays, feeling the weight of his stare as each loop relents, his eyes hungry, his body heaving with deep breaths his fitted jacket taut with each inhale. You peel the item away, leaving just your thin white cotton chemise.
âRip it too,â you plead before you realise it, enthralled by this assertive demeanour.
With a noise in the back of his throat, he takes a pace forward again, and you stare up at him, enchanted. He grasps the fabric above your breasts and then rips it loudly from your chest all the way to your ankles, the sound echoing up the walls. Again, his strength has your knees weak. As the torn pieces flutter from your body, you want to bathe in the hungry sound he makes as he realises you are clad only in white knee-high silk stockings, no underwear to be seen, the warmth from the fireplace swirling around your intimate area.Â
As you stand almost naked before your imposing husband, him still fully dressed, there is a knot low in your gut. But itâs not fear; itâs something else entirelyâdesire. Trembling, breathless and wanting. An elemental wish to be thoroughly taken.
He steps forward, eyes glittering, and his fingers plough roughly between your legs, making you gasp.
âEden,â he proclaims, his fingers snagging over your swollen pearl of a clit with almost rough strokes, the callous where he holds his paintbrush abrading your folds. âA wonderful, lush, wet garden. Just waiting to be planted.â His words are hypnotic and low, questing fingers being coated with a dewiness that is entirely of his making.
âPleaseâŠâ you whimper, squirming on his touch, captivated by this version of your husband, wanting to submit to him, a burning need low in your belly. His fingers slide faster, making a lewd, wet noise.Â
âAre you going to let me?â Benedict croons. âPlant my seed inside you?â
Until now, he has always been careful to complete outside your body. A slightly bereft feeling every time - the wonderful moment cut short as he leaves you suddenly empty, a warm splash upon your thighs, tummy or spine. The idea he will stay inside you is alluring in a way you donât fully comprehend.
âYes, please, husband,â your nipples puckering almost painfully against the wool of his lapels as he crowds into you.Â
âGood. Get on that bed right now,â Benedict orders roughly, pointing at your four-poster bed as he tugs off his jacket.
You scramble to obey. Feeling under a spell. Being naked save your stockings feels illicit as you lay back into the soft pillows and watch as he undresses, staring you down the whole time.Â
You slide a hand between your legs instinctively as more of his toned body is revealed. He growls at the sight, you biting your lip and watching him, his torso bare, his trousers clinging to his shapely legs, to his swollen cock. He bends to remove his shoes, and the sight of his broad shoulders flexing is enough to make you moan. As he stands back up and hooks his elegant fingers around the trouser buttons, a smug look on his handsome face that he is doing this to you.
âHusbandâŠâ you call out to him, writhing on your fingers shamelessly now, one hand shooting up to brace your movements against the headboard, flushing warm down to your toes.
With a few dextrous flicks, the buttons relent, and his trousers drop to the floor. His naked body is always a delicious sight, but tonight feels more, every sense heightened, moaning again as he takes a step towards you, thigh muscles flexing, his cock standing proud to attention.
Again, a soft plea falls from your lips, your eyes raking every plain of his tempting form, feeling yourself swell under your fingertips.
âNot yet,â he clucks, the arrogance somehow more beguiling as you bite your lip. âI think I want to watch you come, my darling. All by yourself. I hear female pleasure can aid with conception after all.â
âWill you not touch me?â you petition, reaching your other hand imploringly towards him.
âNo darling, I shall watch,â his lopsided grin deadly.Â
He wraps a strong fist around his own cock, pumping slowly, a bead of moisture gathering at his tip, glistening in the candlelight as he does.Â
âNow, use both hands, please. Place your fingers inside yourself,â Benedict instructs as you blindly follow, a languid buzz in your brainâyou would do anything he told you to right now.
Planting your feet squarely on the bed, you drag your ankles up higher towards your bottom, letting your legs fall open wider to give him a better view as your other hand slides down. You plunge two fingers into yourself, your hips canting off the mattress with a staccato breath at the sensation of yourself, so hot and tight.
âThat's right,â he endorses, a leisurely movement of his hand up and down his cock as he watches you from a few feet away. ââFeel yourself, darling. Tis paradise, is it not?â that trademark rumbling voice skittering over your skin, goosebumps raising down your arms just at the tone.Â
âCome closer,â you appeal breathily, wanting to smell him, feel his heat, his fleshâanything.
He shakes his head, smirking wider as his refusal spurs you on, desperate to come. Mewling as your fingers speed up, one circling your clit, the others buried as far as you can, wishing instead it were his long, graceful fingers reaching places you are unable. Watching him squeeze his own cock hurtles you fast, already aroused from the moment he slid a hand into your dress in the carriage.Â
Unable to fight the tide in your body, you screw your eyes shut and call out his name as your pussy starts to convulse around your own fingers, toes curling into the sheet, your muscles all going stiff, your hips again raised as you feel the tide break. A gush of wetness runs down your palm and your bottom cheeks as your mind floats away. Distantly, you can hear him speaking, but itâs fuzzy as you flop back down, sated, your legs going flat, too shaky to balance.
You startle as a warm hand circles the wrist of your fingers still inside yourself, bringing you abruptly back into the room. Benedict looms over you, his chest heaving, that power still there.
âWhat was that?â your query drowsy, lips dry.
He chuckles richly. âI said that was spectacular,â he repeats, bemused. âBut also that I want you to paint your nipples with your arousal, my love, for me,â he commands, tugging your hand so your fingers slide out of yourself.
You do as bidden, still floating down from the high, smearing your own warm juices onto your puffed areolas.
âPerfect..â he intones.
In one swift, athletic move, he mounts the bed. You cry out as his warm mouth encloses your left nipple, groaning lewdly as he licks you clean of your arousal, his tongue a heavy, warm, wet weight curling around your sensitive bud, his lips tugging gently, reawakening those synapses only just recovering from your orgasm.Â
âWhy do you always taste like heaven?â his dusky question is rhetorical, his breath gusting over your sternum as he swaps to your other breast to meter out the same treatment. He has you moving under him again as he settles his body over you more firmly, your hips tilting up to feel his hard cock graze your inner thigh. âI wonder if you will still taste like heaven when you are heavy with my child?â he hums thoughtfully as he teases your nipple with the tip of his nose, one hand cupping your empty belly. âI dare say even moreso, ripe like a vine, bearing fruitâŠâ That sonorous voice teases over your skin as he moves slowly upwards to nuzzle your neck. âMy fruitâŠ.â he adds, possessive as he sucks your earlobe into his mouth, so loud now right by your ear.
His hands wind around your thighs as he shuffles position so he is kneeling between your legs, his ropey thighs spread wide under yoursâŠ
âAre you ready for that, my love?â he pauses until you nod almost imperceptibly; you squeak as he suddenly hauls you down the bed, hips onto his lap, your pelvis now higher than your head upon the sheets. Your stockings unfurling down your legs where he quickly plucks at the ribbons holding them aloft.
âGood, because I am more than ready for you,â it almost sounds like a warning.
Then, with a solid thrust, he spears into your body, the invasion toe-curling, your fingers grasping his muscular forearms that are clamped around your waist. It is a primal position, and he begins to thrust with no mercy, his cock feeling huge and heavy, a strong weight that drags heavily over your walls as your pussy clings to him. Your eyes flutter closed as you whimper his name, powerless to do anything but take his thrusts, draped across his lap as you are.
âLook at me,â he demands raggedly. And you do, his handsome face contorted with effort as he slams into you, a little bead of sweat forming on his brow. âLook at me while I fuck a baby into you, wife.â
Heâs never spoken to you like this before, clipped, harsh. It seems appropriate that he would be almost desperate in an act so elemental, so of the earthâto create life. Stoking a fire deep in your core that is a clarion call for him, a frisson running over your skin at the idea you are being impregnated. Bred.
You know neither of you will last long with this almost frenzied coupling, the tendrils of your arousal already swirling so soon after your last, his near-brutish handling precisely what you need, your swollen pearl slammed into his flat abdomen with every stroke he takes. The sheets roll under your shoulder blades as he keeps the same position, your hips high, a mounting that you cannot and do not want to escape, knowing he is leaving fingertip bruises around the dip of your waist, marks you will carry secretly with pride just for him.
You moan his name, so close again to that ephemeral bliss, thrashing your head from side to side as if willing the pleasure to break and wash over you.
âCome on, come for me, milk me, darling. Take what you need, take my seed,â his voice a deep wrecked purr, the lines of his body tense, craving release as much as you.
That command is what breaks the dam for you, an almost violent ricochet fanning out from where you clench around him, his cries muffled behind the rushing noise in your ears, every part of you convulsing in a pleasurable wave. And then, in a floating haze, for the very first time, you feel your husband come inside you, a warm bloom that coats your walls. It's an intoxicating feeling; you never want him to come anywhere else ever again.
âThat's it, well done, my love,â he croons, eyes still shut as he shudders with little aftershocks, not leaving your bodyâas if he wants to stay inside you always.
ââ
As the embers in the fireplace glow white, you lay in post-coital bliss, bodies dewy from exertion. Benedict rests his head upon your stomach as you card your fingers leisurely through his hair.
âDo you believe we may have made a baby, darling?â he hums, pressing his ear to your belly button as if listening for a heartbeat.
âI am certain of it, husband; you were so very thorough with your attentions,â you assure as he takes your hand in his, lacing your fingers together. âI hope our baby has your face,â you opine.
âEven if it is a girl?!â
âThou art as pretty as thou art handsome, Mr Bridgerton,â you quip.
He laughs, carefree, crawling behind you and pulling you into a spooned embrace. âBe careful with such provocation, wife; I may not be done with you after all,â he jests idly. âI, on the other hand, hope our child looks like you, even if it is a boy.â he posits, crowding into your back, his lips warm on the shell of your ear.
âWhy?â you laugh, frowning, twisting to look back at him.
âSo that I may love them as much as I do you,â he breezes nonchalantly as if what he says is not the sweetest thing you can imagine, causing a tart, sudden spike of want through your body, even as you lay sated.
âBe careful, husband,â you volley back, coquettish. âOr I may not yet be done with you.â
There is a sharp, approving intake of breath, and his hand slides low from your belly into the thatch of hair at the apex of your thighs.
âIs that a promiseâ he rumbles, your gasp loud as his fingers expertly drag against your clit.
âIt is whatever you want. Just do not stop,â you rush out, your hand curling around his bicep, feeling a rigid mass slide hot against your bottom. âAgain, husband,â you appeal breathily. âImpregnate me again.â
âWith pleasure, wife,â he growls, surging into your body with a force that again steals the very breath from your lungs.
The pinkish light dawn is streaking over the ceiling above when you both finally succumb to sleep after many more vigorous attempts at babymaking. The last one, perhaps the most desperate, you pinned against the headboard, him fucking into you so hard from behind that a jagged crack appears, spidering up the wall from where the bedframe slammed into it. A flaw which he steadfastly refuses to get fixed, claiming it to be the most profound artâa souvenir and ode to a momentous night.
ââ
9 months later
Benedictâs lips mash against your sweaty brow as he keeps lauding you with praise, excitement and pride evident in his every word. You flop back onto the bed, exhaustion deep in your bones, your body turned inside out, hurting in a way you have never known.
But it was all worth it.
What feels like only moments later, in your shattered, addled state, the doctor and nurses depart. Your husband perches on the bed next to you, his face a picture of wonderment. Holding not just one but two bundles of joy in the crooks of his arms. One girl, one boyâfraternal twins.
âMy love, we have created the most beautiful creatures on all of this earth,â he attests partisanly, his voice profound with emotion, his eyes pinging from one swaddled face to the other as they sleep soundly.
You shoot him a watery but ironic smile. âI suppose, dear husband, that is what happens when you spend a whole night impregnating me. You succeed twice over.â
His brow raises pointedly, his tongue shooting out to pass over his bottom lip. âAre you suggesting next time around, wife, we keep going for three days straight? So that I may have a brood of eight by the time we are done?â Deploying his bedroom voice that he knows full well makes your knees weak.
âDo not say such things in front of the children!â you chide, swatting his knee where it touches your thigh. âAnd no, I am not carrying six of your progeny at once; that is simply preposterous!â
âFour?â he petitions with a wink.
You roll your eyes affectionately, settling back into the mound of pillows. âA maximum of two at a time is my final offer, Benedict Bridgerton,â you respond drolly.
âEntirely reasonable,â he chuckles contentedly, dropping a kiss onto each of their foreheads before handing both to you so delicately, as if they are the most precious bundles in the world.Â
Benedict Bridgerton x fem!inexperienced!American!reader
cw: MDNI (18+) Benedict receives a handjob, suggestive language, reader has a complicated relationship with her family, reader has a nightmare and has a panic attack
This is part two! Hereâs part one!
Tag list: @allyjoe755 @syraxnyra @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @pumkiinpasties @werewolf-witchboy
February 12, 1817
You never thought that living in a bigger house would actually have been worse than your small one. Your mother had gotten meaner and your sister had been named the diamond of the season so she was even more confident than usual because she was the center of attention. Because that was exactly what she needed. More attention. You had attended multiple balls over the past few weeks and Kate had stuck to you like glue, helping you through everything, giving you pointers and even having you meet men to dance with.
You reminded her so much of Edwina that she felt the need to help you realize your full potential. Telling you that even though you were supposed to be seeking a husband that you didnât have to have one of that was not what you wished. It was frowned upon, but she felt the need to support you in whatever you wanted to do since none of your family seemed to do so.
You entered the ball with your mother, father, and sister and Kate made a beeline for you, curtsying to all of you and you couldnât help but notice the tension between her and your mother. Unbeknownst to you, they had been butting heads as far as your potential husband had been concerned. Kate had insisted that you didnât have to marry and your mother wouldnât have it. She needed you to be married off so she never had to speak to you again.
To keep the peace, you pulled Kate along to get some lemonade. She handed you a cup and you sipped on the drink, eyeing her, wondering what was going on in her head. But she wouldnât tell you. She already knew that you relationship with your mother had been rocky so she decided to keep what had been said to her behind closed doors a secret to prevent the tension from getting worse.
You looked around the room and spotted Benedict by the wall, scribbling in what looked like a small notebook. You were surprised to see him since he hadnât been at any of the other balls since the one where you had danced together. You wondered if he would have danced with you again if you had asked. Or maybe he had been avoiding you. That would have made sense. It seemed that everyone always did that.
Benedict continued his sketch, waving off everyone who had tried to speak to him. He was obviously busy. The lighting was perfect where he was standing and he was able to get the details perfect. It was a rough sketch, but once he put it on canvas, it was going to easily be his best work.
âWhat are you working on, brother?â Benedict shut the book quickly as Anthony approached and he shoved the book in his pocket so it was out of sight. There was no way he was letting his brother see what he had been drawing. That was between him and God.
âNothing,â the younger brother shrugged. âJust a little something to keep my mind occupied.â
âRight,â Anthony nodded. He knew his brother was private when it came to his unfinished work, but it almost seemed like Benedict didnât want him to see the sketch at all. Something was very strange but he wasnât going to press. âAre you going to be a wallflower all night or are you going to dance?â
âWe both know the answer to that,â Benedict gave Anthonyâs shoulder a pat.
Anthony stepped closer, resting a hand on Benedictâs shoulder as he brought his lips round his ear so no one else could hear.
âYou are nothing but an embarrassment to this family,â he said, his words sounding like poison in Benedictâs ear. âThis whole ârakeâ business needs to be put to rest. You are about to be thirty and havenât even pursued a single woman or done anything with your life besides your artwork. You promised mother you would find a wife this season only to be running around with whores, completely abandoning your duties to this family.â
Benedict gulped as his brother spoke. Fear coursing through him. He was very well aware that Anthony was not opposed to a duel and could have easily put him in a hospital just from one punch. His threats were not empty and he was afraid of getting hit, his prized possession being ruined and he could no longer mess around like he had been.
âStop with the silliness and find a wife or I swear everyone will know just how disgusting you are and you will be left with nothing. You will die alone and I will make sure that no one will show up to your funeral. Are we understood, brother?â With that, Anthony turned on his heel and went to look for his wife, feeling a weight life off him now that he had told Benedict what he had truly thought about him.
âLady Danbury, this is y/n l/n,â Kate introduced you to the host of the evening to which you curtseyed gracefully.
âIt is lovely to meet you, Miss l/n,â Lady Danbury nodded. âViscountess Bridgerton has told me nothing but good things. She says youâre quite the artist.â
âWell-â you tried to deny it, but Kate cut you off.
âOh, she is, Lady Danbury,â Kate told her. âShe could easily make a living off of her work.â You didnât think that was true in the slightest, but you were going to let her brag about you anyway.
âAre any of your pieces in the gallery tomorrow?â You had wanted to, but by the time you had heard about it, submissions were closed, which was really disappointing because you knew the exact one you were going to submit.
âIâm afraid not," you pursed your lips. "By the time I arrived, it was too late to submit.â
âThat is too bad," Lady Danbury replied with a shake of her head. "I must host a gallery of my own to see your work.â
âOh, that isnât necessary, Lady Danbury," you let out a nervous laugh. "Iâm afraid youâd be sorely disappointed.â You thought that to be true. you were always your harshest critic and always thought that compliments aimed towards you or your work were just people being nice, never quite believing the words no matter how true they were."
âIâm sure thatâs not true. You must show me some time. I'd love to see it all." You knew you weren't going to win, so you decided to give in to appease the woman. You didn't want to upset the host, after all.
"Of course," you nodded and watched Lady Danbury's face light up as she caught sight over someone who was behind you. You turned around only to be met by a man you hadn't seen before. He had curly blonde hair and the prettiest hazel eyes that you had ever seen. What was a pretty man like him doing approaching you? He was the kind of man that Lilith would have ended up with.
"Nicholas Fitzwilliam," he introduced himself with a bow. "I saw you across the room and felt like I owed the prettiest woman in the room a dance."
"Oh-"
Your mouth went dry as his eyes looked into yours, a warm smile making its way upon his pretty, pink lips. You turned to Kate and Lady Danbury as if to ask for permission and they waved you off, encouraging you to dance with the stranger.
Nicholas offered his hand to you and you wordlessly took it, letting him lead you out onto the floor. The dance started not long after you got into your spots and you immediately recognized as the quadrille which you knew involved moving about the floor and joining hands with people who weren't your original partner.
As soon as Benedict saw you accept that dick's invitation to dance, he knew he had to find a partner and quick. He didn't know what he was doing, but what he did know was that he wasn't going to leave you out on the floor alone. He was just making sure that you were following the steps correctly, that was all.
He approached the first woman he could find and dragged her onto the dance floor as the music started. He watched you move about the room seeing that fucker making you laugh made him feel something he had never felt before when it came to other women: jealousy.
The man whispered something into your ear as the two of you spun around and seeing you throw your head back in a loud laugh was enough to make Benedict see red. He could hear his dance partner say something as the two of them spun around, but he couldnât hear her. In fact, he didnât give a single fuck. All of his focus was on you.
You were nervous to dance at first, but as Nicholas guided you through it, you realized just how much fun it was and he was even cracking jokes to make you feel better. If all of the men were guaranteed to be like him, maybe finding a husband wouldnât have been so bad.
You slowly got to Benedict and the two of you joined hands as you made your spin and he wanted to know what your hands felt like without the gloves. If they were soft or rough. It didn't really matter, though. He just wanted them wrapped around his neck, choking him until he was gasping for air. He still wasn't able to shake his absolutely filthy thoughts about you. And now that you were right in front of him and that he could see the tops of your breasts, all he could think about was how much he wanted them in his mouth, licking and sucking on your nipples until your back arched in pleasure, screaming his name as your reached your orgasm.
"What are you doing here?" You asked, pulling him out of his thoughts and he looked down at you, his signature smirk making it's way upon his pretty pink lips. You had never had a thought like it before, but you found yourself wanting to know what they felt like. If they were as soft as they looked.
"What do you mean?" Benedict knew exactly what you meant, but he wanted to hear you say it. He wanted to hear you tell him that you missed him.
"You haven't been at the last three balls so I was surprised to see you here." He thought it was adorable that you had noticed that he wasn't there and
"Oh, so you noticed I was missing?" He put on a cocky smirk. He had you right where he wanted you.
"It was difficult not to when Anthony was complaining about it every time." You were mumbling your words, but Benedict was still able to hear you. The smirk faded and he didn't like the way his cock twitched at the fact that you didn't seem to notice that he hadn't been around until his brother mentioned it. You didn't seem to give a single fuck about him, but by the end of the season, he was going to make you care.
With that, you separated then joined your original partners and Benedict was still watching you, feeling jealousy rise as the man whispered in your ear again, making you giggle. He didn't know why he cared. He wasn't going to court nor marry you and clearly this man was a better fit for you. And maybe Anthony was right, all Benedict was was a rake and that's all he knew how to be. He wasn't fit to be a husband and he was just going to have to accept that.
He was going to give up all of his fantasies about you just so you could end up with a man who actually cared about you. That was what you deserved. Not someone who was only interested in having his way with you only to never want to see you again. He was perfectly fine with letting you slip through his fingers if it meant you were going end up with the right person.
The dance came to a close and Nicholas led you back over to Kate and Lady Danbury, his hand still holding yours as you stood there making conversation with the three of them. He then turned to you and bowed and for whatever reason, you didn't want to see him go. You had such a nice time with him and almost wanted to ask him to dance again, but you couldn't get yourself to. You didn't have the confidence. Lilith would have, though. She would have and Nicholas certainly would have said yes. But you weren't Lilith. You weren't your sister and you never would be and you just wished that people would realized that you were your own person.
"It was an absolute pleasure, Miss l/n," he said and you smiled in response, feeling your heart swell because someone was dancing with you because they wanted to, not because of your mother forcing them.
"The pleasure was all mine, Mr. Fitzwilliam," you curtsied, a small smile making its way upon your face. He took your hand and pressed lips to the fabric covering it, his eyes never leaving yours as he did so.
"No, really, the pleasure is all mine." He emphasized the last two words and your cheeks heated as he let your hand slipped out of yours before turning on his heel to cross the room.
As soon as he was gone, you turned back to Kate and Lady Danbury in a giggly mess. They both smiled at you, seeing you so lively and animated warming their hearts. In the few weeks Kate had known you and with all of the balls, she'd seen you at, she had never seen you so smitten after a dance and wondered if Nicholas could be the one. Maybe, just maybe there was an engagement in your future.
Nicholas crossed the floor and stood next to your mother, putting his hands behind his back as she leaned towards him to whisper to him. they were trying their best to be discreet, knowing that if you caught them, the whole operation would be over.
"Is it done?" Vivian asked, her eyes not leaving you as she spoke. If you werenât going to find a husband, she was just going to have to do the job for you. She couldnât risk you being a spinster and living with her and your father for the rest of her life.
"It is," Nicholas nodded, his eyes on you as well. He didn't feel good for lying to you, but the money was going to make it worth it. He was going to use it to buy a nice art piece that he had been eyeing for a while. It would look so lovely in his study, hanging among the other artwork he had purchased over the years. And he had you to thank for it. You were the perfect, unsuspecting target.
Benedict left as soon as Nicholas left you and had every intention of getting out his anger. Maybe not in the healthiest way, but he was going to be gone as soon as he was done with whatever woman on his list was available.
He knocked on the door and leaned himself against the doorframe, an attempt to make himself attractive, but something was off. His need suddenly went away and he was having flashbacks to the ball. Everything was swirling around his head and he felt an ache coming on.
Stop with the silliness and find a wife or I swear everyone will know just how disgusting you are and you will be left with nothing. You will die alone and I will make sure that no one will show up to your funeral.
Maybe Anthony was right. Maybe he should have stopped literally fucking around and started a family. Maybe he should have gone home. But not tonight. Tonight, he was going to be taken care of and not by his own hands.
The door opened and he was pulled inside, the woman that he couldnât remember the name of grabbing hold of his coat. The door slammed behind him and she shoved him against it. Her lips went to his neck and she gave it a rough suck while her hands went to unbutton his breeches. She pulled them down only to be met with Benedictâs very limp cock. They both looked down at it and Benedict felt his cheeks blush in embarrassment as this was never something that had happened to him.
âDonât worry, I can help with that.â The woman-Caroline, maybe?-spit into her hand and grabbed hold of his dick, giving it a few slow pumps. When that didn't work, she moved faster, pumping as hard as she possible could and Benedict was panicking because receiving a handjob always did the trick. And now that it wasn't working, he was worried.
"I don't know what's going on Benedict, but you need to leave now." They couldn't exactly sleep together if he couldn't get it up. And it was all thanks to his oldest brother. Benedict pulled up his breeches and let out a loud sigh before turning to the door. He gave her one last look then opened the door and slammed it shut before heading down the road. He couldn't go home. Not with his brother there. There was somewhere else he'd rather be anyway.
Benedict got to the studio, but not after having a few drinks. His night had gone to shit and if he couldn't remedy it with sex, alcohol was surely going to do the drink. Not only had his brother called him out on his bullshit, but then he watched the woman that he liked dance with someone else who was confirmed to be a terrible person, and now he couldn't even cope with it all the way he wanted to.
He stumbled into the studio where he usually spent his late nights, but no one was there. This was usually when everyone was so lively and now there wasn't a single soul. Something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. He approached the room he usually worked in to work on his piece, but when he entered it, the piece was uncovered and there was already someone in the room. He slowly opened the door all the way and the creaking of it made the stranger turn around so Benedict could see his face. No fucking way. Standing there in his studio, holding the sheet that covered his painting was Nicholas fucking Fitzwilliam.
The carriage rolled up to your house and you stepped onto the concrete, feeling lighter than ever. As your family was leaving, Nicholas had told you that he'd see you the next day and you were nothing but elated at that fact. You couldn't believe it. It had only been a few weeks and you already had a suitor. And he was nice and not to mention, very easy on the eyes. According to what he had told you at the ball, he didn't have much, but that was perfectly okay to you. He'd give you a great life and that was all you could ask for.
You went up the steps and for once, your mother's and sister's words couldn't get to you. Because they didn't matter. All your life, you had been second to Lilith and now you finally had something she hadn't and you could tell that she was furious. She stomped up the stairs behind you and you tried to fight back your smile at the sour look that had been in her face since you had told her the good news.
You went to your room and heard her stomp to her own before slamming the door. You got ready for bed with the widest smile on your face and got into your bed dreaming about nothing but rings and weddings and your possible children. The future was very bright and you had somehow beat the diamond of the season to getting a suitor. And maybe if you played your cards right, an engagement would follow soon after.
"What are you doing here?" Benedict asked, making such tight fists by his side that he could feel his nails digging into his skin, but that was the least of his worries. He really needed to get rid of the pest that was taking over his room.
"Oh, are you the artist?" Nicholas asked, reaching for the canvas, but Benedict was quick to stop, him, standing in between his body and the canvas. There was no way he was letting that little worm anywhere near his artwork.
"I am. And I'm going to ask again, what are you doing here?" There was a fire burning inside him and this time, he wasn't going to put out the flames.
"Well, I was going to ask you if I could buy this lovely piece from you." He'd get the painting from Benedict's cold, dead hands. No way heâd ever sell anything to that pig.
Benedict snatched the covering from Nicholas and draped it back over the painting before crossing his arms over his chest so he wouldn't do something he'd regret.
âItâs not finished and not for sale. And even if it was, I most certainly wouldnât sell it to you.â
âIf you donât mind my asking, why not?â Nicholas had no idea what was going on. He just wanted to get what he had had his eyes on for months when he had passed that very room seeing Benedict work on it.
âBecause again, it's not finished and even if it was, I still wouldn't sell it to you." Clearly there was something he was missing and he wasn't sure what it was.
"Why?" Nicholas was starting to get angry and a smug smirk was making its way upon Benedict's face. What did he know and what was he going to do about it? He didn't think he was the type to get into a fight, but he really knew nothing about him so he was to tread lightly.
"I know your secret.â Nicholas felt his blood run cold at the words. He had many secrets but he knew exactly the one to which Benedict was referring and he had half a mind to make a run for it.
âSecret?â He supposed that the best way to get out of it was to feign innocence. He wouldnât be caught if he didnât admit to it.
âYour little deal with Vivian. I heard you on the way out of the ball tonight." Oh, this was the big secret. Maybe running was still on the table.
"What do you want?" There was only one thing Benedict wanted and Nicholas had it.
"I want you stay away from y/n." Benedict jabbed his finger into the manâs chest.
"Or what?" Nicholas pushed his hand away but Benedict only stepped closer.
"You don't want to know what." His threat was empty, but maybe it wouldnât have been if Nicholas tried anything.
"Are you gonna tell her?" No. He thought it would have been even more painful for Nicholas to tell you himself.
"I might if you don't." He wouldnât, but Nicholas was looking nervous so Benedict had him right where he wanted him.
âI see,â Nicholas let out a laugh. âYouâre jealous.â
âI am not.â That was not an emotion that Benedict felt. He was never jealous and especially not because of you. He just felt like you deserved to know the truth, thatâs all.
âYou are,â Nicholas smirked. âI saw it in your face when you mentioned he. There was a fire there. Well guess what? You can have her. I donât want her. I was just going to marry her, use her for her body and then leave.â Benedict didnât need to hear anymore. He was seeing more red than he ever had before.
Without another thought, he punched Nicholas square in the nose, causing him to hunch over in pain but not before he got his own punch in. Benedict threw another punch and while Nicholas was hunched over once again, Benedict pushed him to the floor, loving to see the manâs pretty face look so bloody and broken.
âIf you so much as lay a finger on her, I promise that things will be much worse than this.â With that, Benedict wiped the blood from his nose and fled the room, finally heading home to get some much needed rest and maybe some help from a doctor.
February 13, 1817
You woke up the next morning with the brightest smile on your face as your ladyâs maid helped you get ready for the day. Nothing could ruin your mood. Not even your mother. Because someone had finally showed romantic interest in you and no one, not even your mother or Lilith could bring you down.
You descended the stairs and headed towards the dining room to have some breakfast when you heard voices coming from the study. You slowly opened the door that was cracked and saw Nicholas inside arguing with your mother. You gasped not only at the fact that he was there but also because of the dried blood coming from his nose.
What was he doing there and why was he arguing with your mother? Clearly there was something that you were missing and you didnât like all of the possibilities that your mind was coming up with. It was always your own worst enemy.
Maybe it wasnât what you thought it was. Maybe he was there to see you and was just waiting for you to finish breakfast first. Suitors did that all the time, right? There definitely wasnât anything suspicious going on between him and your mother.
âWhat happened?â Your mother asked in a tone that you thought has only been reserved for you.
âI donât know, Vivian,â Nicholas replied, looking like he was seconds away from pulling his hair out. He looked tired, like he hadnât gotten much sleep and the blood around his nose made him look even worse. âAll I know is that I was trying to buy a piece from him and then he punched me.â
âAnd that was before he threatened you?â
âYes! He told me that if I so much as laid a finger on y/n that heâd kill me! I know I agreed to court your daughter, but no amount of money is worth this,â he referred to his nose and headed for the door where you were standing.
You pressed yourself against the opposite wall of where he was exiting and felt tears prick your eyes as your world came crashing down. So all of that the night before was all because of your mother? All for money? You supposed that it made sense as to why someone as beautiful as him would approach you.
As soon as Nicholas was out of sight, you made a beeline for the stairs, heading to your room so you could cry alone. You felt so stupid. Your own mother had betrayed you in a way that you hadnât even thought she was capable of. And for whatever reason, you felt like your sister was also behind it.
You headed to your room and slammed the door before letting out a loud scream before throwing yourself into your bed to have a good cry. All of the years you had suppressed your emotions were all catching up to you and you began to sob into your pillows.
You really thought that your father would have come to your rescue, but just like always, heâd rather stand by your mother when she was participating in all of the wrongdoing. He seemed so distant from you lately that it was almost as if he wasnât even there at all. And maybe it would have been better if he wasnât. At least then, he would just be gone instead of sitting on the sidelines, doing absolutely nothing.
You cried yourself to sleep, trying to fight off your nightmare. There was a red filter over it and the audio was distorted. Your mother, father, sister, and Nicholas were all laughing at you, pointing fingers and telling you just what they thought about you, holding absolutely nothing back as they did so.
It all felt so real that you had to wake up and shake it all off. You sat up in your bed and rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. Just then, your ladyâs maid entered the room to get you ready for the gallery. Had you really slept all day? And no one had even thought to come and wake you up? You supposed that showed you just how little your family actually thought about you.
âEsther?â You asked the woman who had laid your dress for the night out onto your bed.
âYes miss?â She asked, pausing her duty to give you her full attention.
âWould we be able to try something different?â You could see her eyes light up at your suggestion and she immediately pulled you to your vanity, pulling out all of your makeup to get to work.
âI know just the thing,â she smiled as she dipped into some eyeshadow and applied it to your eyes.
â
You told your mother that you werenât feeling well enough to go to the gallery and to your surprise, she didnât put up a fight and left the house without a word. As soon as your family was gone, you threw off the blanket to reveal your dress that was absolutely nothing like you. It was black and dark purple and you had a choker to match that had an amethyst gem in the very center of it.
Esther had done your makeup dark, but tastefully with diffused black eyeshadow and a bright pink blush on your cheeks. When you looked in the mirror, you had looked nothing like yourself just like you had wanted to. You thanked her and fled the house to the carriage that had been left behind.
You entered the gallery by yourself and as soon as eyes were laid on you, whispers were spread around just like you had wanted. You were not dressed appropriately for the occasion and for once, you couldnât have cared less.
You fiddled with your necklace as what you were doing had set in. You had only put on the dress with the intention to anger your mother and clearly it had worked with the way she was eyeing you. But that wasnât your focus at the moment. You were just interested in seeing all of the art pieces. Upsetting your mother was just a little bonus.
Benedict let out a gasp as he caught sight of you. You were one of the most beautiful women he has ever seen and now he was beginning to think that his fight with Nicholas was all worth it. He at least hoped that his threat has sent the man running.
After you made your grand entrance, you continued to fiddle with your necklace as the whispers got more intense. You had been so focused on upsetting your mother that you hadnât thought about the fact that other people would probably be upset as well.
You felt yourself begin to panic as the whispers seemed to get louder and you could feel your heartbeat quickening and breathing was getting harder to you. You had had many panic attacks in your life to know that this was one and needed to get out of there as soon as possible.
Just as you were about to leave, you were approached by Lady Danbury. If it has been anyone else, you would have politely declined, but she had a lot of influence and you felt like you could have used that to your advantage. So, you took a deep breath and put on your fakest smile as she got to you.
âLady Danbury!â You greeted, smiling brightly and she smiled in return.
âMiss l/n. So lovely to see you again.â Out of all of the people there, why was she talking to you? There were so many others who were of higher status or at least had more to say than you did. And you really werenât in the mood to be cordial at the moment. You had too much on your mind.
âAnd you as well, maâam,â you curtsied. You wanted to impress the woman. She was good friends with The Queen, after all and knowing someone who had an in with her could have opened so many doors for you.
âHave you had a chance to look around the gallery?â You had too much on your mind to put your focus on something like that even though you had been so excited to
âNo, not yet.â
âPerfect, you shall join me.â Join her? As in walk around the room with her?
âLady Danbury-â You tried your best to get out of it, but she cut you off before you could make an excuse.
âThat wasnât a question. Now come along dear. I want to hear your thoughts.â She linked her arm around yours and let you lead her around the room, stopping at every individual piece, wanting to know your honest opinion. If you didnât know any better, you would have thought that she just wanted to hear you talk badly about someone. To get the quiet girl out of her comfort zone.
But she wasnât going to win this round. It turned out that every single piece so far was lovely. They were all so detailed and told the most beautiful stories. You were in awe of every single one and still wished you had the time to submit your own, wondering what people had thought about it.
You stopped once you got to the last piece and that one didnât wow you like the others. Something was wrong, almost as if it had been incomplete. All of the colors melted together in a brown, muddy mess and you were having a hard time keeping your eyes on it.
âWell?â Lady Danbury asked and you were hesitant to tell her the truth, but you were becoming a ticking time bomb, ready to explode any second. Everything with your family and Nicholas was all piling on you and you couldnât take a single second of it.
âThe colors are too muddy,â you mumbled and the woman was having a hard time hearing you.
âIâm sorry, dear, could you repeat that?â She asked and that absolutely broke you. You were about to tear into whoever the artist was and for once, you didnât have a single care.
âI said the colors are too muddy!â You replied, maybe a little too loud, but you hardly cared. You just needed her to know what you really thought. That was the kind of person you were now. Someone who said exactly how they felt, not caring whether it hurt their feelings or not. You didnât have it in you to please anymore. What good had it done you, anyway?
âThe artist obviously didnât wait long enough between layers for the paint to dry. Oils are still wet after many hours. Before adding more layers you have to wait for them to fully dry. Itâs an amateur mistake for some âprofessionalâ artist to make.â
Lady Danbury had to admit that she was enjoying seeing that side of you and hoped youâd bring it out more often. As much as she liked how reserved you were, she believed that you were allowed a moment to break free of it every once in a while. It looked tiring having to behave like that all the time.
âThatâs a very interesting, Miss, l/n,â she replied then turned to who you assumed was the artist of the piece you had just ripped to shreds with your words. âMr Bridgerton why didnât you wait long enough for each layer?â
Bridgerton? So that meant-no. Just your fucking luck. You turned around and sure enough, there Benedict was, looking as beautiful as ever. You noticed that he has a bruise around his eye and wondered what it was from and how you could have tended to it and made him feel better. It looked like it hurt and you almost wanted to ask if it did and if you could have kissed it better.
âIf Iâm being honest, Lady Danbury, I was nearly late submitting my piece for the gallery, so I needed to cut things some corners. But you are correct, Miss (l/n), it is a very amateur mistake of me.â With that, Benedict turned on his heel and exited the gallery, leaving you with nothing but guilt as you watched him walk away.
Benedict had stared at that painting for hours after he had finished and hadnât even noticed the imperfections you had pointed out until you had said the words. And he hadnât even been upset about it either. It had been an amateur mistake to make and now he was wondering why he was even accepted into the gallery in the first place.
And now he was wondering where you got all that knowledge from because clearly you knew your stuff. Were you an artist as well? You must have been since you seemed to know so much.
And that was when it all clicked. The critique, Anthony saying that you were a family friend from the past. Of course! Now he remembered. He could clearly see the two of you drawing each other in the study of the Bridgerton home and him sneaking you into one of the studios he went to one night where the two of you laughed and painted for hours which had eventually turned into a paint fight that the two of you had gotten into a lot of trouble for.
So he wasnât an ass, he just genuinely hadnât remembered you. But why? Was his mind trying to protect him from something painful? It must have been considering how quick you had been to forget him after not having seen him for a few weeks. He had hoped that the memory would come to him soon so it would stop bugging him. Maybe heâd ask you why his memory of you was fuzzy. Maybe heâd just talk to you because he wanted to. With Nicholas out of the way, he certainly had the opportunity. And maybe heâd actually listen to his brother and finally find a wife.
request: youâre a new roadie on Eddieâs tour and heâs determined to look out for you
request: rockstar!Eddie is absolutely obsessed with popstar!you
request: popstar!you and rockstar!Eddie decided to debut your relationship at the Grammys
request: older!rockstar!Eddie definitely has a thing for you (18+)
Tattoo artist!Eddie
Wanna Bet: Part One
Wanna Bet: Part Two
Wanna Bet: Part Three
Wanna Bet: Part Four (18+)
Husband!Eddie
Better Late Than Never
request: Eddie gives you the best Motherâs Day
request: Eddie makes you feel good about your body after you have your first baby (18+)
Bartender!Eddie
Favorite Customer
Boyfriend!Eddie
Heâs Back! (From the Dead)
So Sweet (18+)
Under Water (18+)
request: Eddieâs van is busted but heâll damned if he canât get to his girl
request: Eddie always reads aloud and itâs your favorite thing about him
request: you accidentally eat an edible and Eddie helps you through it
request: Eddie just really loves your tits (18+)
request: you and Eddie always end up fucking in his van (18+)
request: you accidentally give Eddie a black eye (18+)
request: Eddie helps you through a hard time after you both escape the Upside Down
request: you and Eddie move in together
request: you hate the smell of weed and Eddie assures you that itâs not a deal breaker
request: Eddie takes anxious!you to a concert
request: you and Eddie reunite after five years of being apart (18+)
request: you propose to your boyfriend Eddie
prompt request: youâre jealous and Eddie know just how to show you that he belongs to you (18+)
prompt request: Eddie asks you to marry him
prompt request: Eddie shows you just how much he loves you (18+)
prompt request: Eddie gives you the best birthday ever
Best friend!Eddie
Do Me a Favor? (18+)
I Must Confess
Iâll Take Care of You
request: you get roofied and Eddie helps you every step of the way
request: Eddie proposes to you after years of being just your best friend
request: you and Eddie announce your proposal to your friends and family
request: your best friend Eddie is very eager to show you just how much he loves you (18+)
request: you and Eddie play seven minutes in heaven
request: you and Eddie finally get your happily ever after
prompt request: Eddie knows exactly how to make your feel better about your body insecurity (18+)
Older!Eddie
Take it Off (18+)
request: you have a crush on your older neighbor, Eddie and decided to repay him in the most generous way after he helps you (18+)
Mechanic!Eddie
Guilty as Sin?(18+)
Drive Me Crazy
Virgin!Eddie
First Time (18+)
Just Like That (18+)
request: you teach virgin!Eddie how to eat you out (18+)
Fuckboy!Eddie
Something More
Rock the Boat (18+)
Model!Eddie
Sew Far, Sew Great (18+)
Just Like That (18+)
Actor!Eddie
Playing the Part (18+)
Truth or Drink
Shy!Eddie
Kiss Me
Show Me (18+)
request: extroverted!you finds out that shy!Eddie gets very cuddly when drunk
request: shy!Eddie introduces extroverted!you as his girlfriend to his friends
Steve Harrington
Teach Me: Part One
Teach Me: Part Two
Teach Me: Part Three
Teach Me: Part Four
Teach Me: Part Five(18+)
Teach Me: Part Six(18+)
Teach Me: Part Seven
Teach Me: Part Eight
request: Steve is totally in love with metalhead!you
Peter Parker
Donât Want You Like a Best Friend
Billy Hargrove
Wrong Place, Wrong Time
Anthony Bridgerton
Tired of Waiting
Evan âBuckâ Buckley
Cheers to You
Taylor Swift series
Dress (18+)
Say Donât Go
Benedict Bridgerton
Paint Me series
Part One
Summer Celebration Requests
You and Steve say âI love youâ for the first time during a picnic in the park
You tell your best friend Eddie that you love him on the way to a camping trip
Your best friend Eddie takes you to see your favorite band in concert where you both realize that youâre in love with each other
Youâre filling in for Gareth on the drums on the Corroded Coffin. Too bad you and the lead singer hate each other. Or do you? (18+)
Steve takes you to see a horror movie despite his hatred for them just so youâll cuddle him
You and your best friend, Eddie become members of the mile high club while on a flight (18+)
A love confession with Eddie in the rain
rockstar!Eddie and roadie!you are finally together
One thing leads to another and you make out with your enemy, mechanic!Eddie in the rain while you both wait for a tow truck to take your car to the mechanic
Eddie hates the pool, but he accompanies you anyway because he loves you so much
Benedict Bridgerton x inexperienced!american!fem!reader
summary: After a brutal critique of a newly displayed art piece in a museum, newly debuted reader finds herself apologizing to the artist who heard her. After multiple meetings, the time they spend together becomes precious to her. One slip up causes Benedict Bridgerton, a know âRakeâ amongst the ton, to be left with the decision to marry the young woman or a duel.
This is part one!
cw: suggestive language
word count: 4k
January 28th, 1817
Your parents sat across from you in the carriage, both sets of eyes on you as you watched all of the scenery pass by in the window. You didnât want to leave your old life behind, but you felt like you had no choice since you just wanted to please your parents. That was your biggest problem; wanting to please everyone around you so badly that youâd sacrifice your own happiness.
You were set to be debuted the night you had arrived and were a nervous wreck. You had no interest in being married off to a perfect stranger, but you felt like you didnât have any other choice. Maybe if you played your cards right, though, youâd be Queenâs Charlotteâs diamond of the season.
But that wasnât what you wanted. You didnât want everyoneâs eyes on you and honestly couldnât bear to be the talk of the town or worse, a victim of Lady Whistledownâs latest gossip. You wanted absolutely no part in that.
âThereâs no need to be nervous,â your mother told you, almost in a mocking tone. She never cared for how reserved you were and was always trying her best to push you into friendships with people you wouldnât have touched with a ten foot pole.
âOh, leave her alone, Vivian,â your father nudged her. âSheâs allowed to be nervous, this is her debut.â
âWell, Iâm not nervous,â your sister, Lilith piped up. Of course she wasnât. Because Lilith was perfect. The perfect eldest child that your parents seemed to favor over you no matter how close you were to your father.
You didnât like the feeling, but you envied your sister. She was very outgoing and not to mention beautiful, two things you didnât think you were even close to being. At least, the outgoing part. You were more reserved and had been laughed at for it your whole life.
Iâm sorry, could you speak up? No one can hear you.
Youâre not very talkative, are you?
Why donât you say something?
Those words always lived in your head, and no matter how hard you tried, you always found yourself either speaking too loudly about things you were passionate about or not speaking loud enough. That would have meant that you had to take authority and you knew absolutely nothing about that.
The carriage rolled to a stop and you turned away from the window, rubbing your hands together to remove the sweat from them. You then reached up and subconsciously fiddled with the diamond necklace that your father gave you before you left America. You always wore it and it was something you messed with when you were particular nervous or needed something to stimulate your mind.
The carriage door opened and you were the first to step out, your eyes widening as they took in your new home. It was far bigger than the one you lived in back home and you wondered why that much space was needed for your family of four. The place could have easily fit many families of your size and still have room for more.
You headed inside and briefly took in the main level before making a beeline for the upstairs, desperate to see your new room since that was definitely going to be where you spent most of your time. You had a lot of new books to read and were just looking forward to it having to share with Lilith anymore.
You claimed the first room you walked into which had to be about three times the size of your old one. It was already set up with your new furniture that looked much better than your old stuff. Maybe living there wouldnât have been so bad.
You collapsed onto your bed and felt your eyes get heavy from the very long journey you had just taken, finding yourself quickly falling asleep right there and not even fighting it. It was what you had deserved for sitting through all of your mother and sisterâs comments without a single complaint.
A knock on your door woke you from your nap and you opened your eyes to see your mother standing in the doorway. She had a stern look on her face and you wondered what you had done to upset her now. It seemed like you were always doing that despite your need to please her. She never agreed with the way you spoke or the words you liked to use. She just didnât like that you were smarter than her.
âY/n, what are you doing in bed, youâre supposed to be getting ready.â Her voice was more angry than it should have been and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes at her dramatics. You had plenty of time to get ready since the ball didnât start for a few hours.
Just then your apparently new ladyâs maid hurried into the room with your dress for the evening which you hadnât even seen yet since your mother had picked it out, but you knew that you were going to hate it since you never saw eye to eye on anything, especially clothing. Your mother stepped into the room and closed to door with every intention of making sure that you actually wore the dress since you always seemed to want to change last minute.
The dress was a shade of green that wasnât flattering on you in the slightest. Your mother fluffed up the sleeves as she looked at you in the mirror. If you were honest, you hadnât even wanted to go to the ball, but you felt like you had to. You just wanted to make her happy even if you had to sacrifice your own happiness to do it. She had been so excited for you, but you knew that was just because she was interested in finally getting rid of you for good.
âWell, donât you look absolutely beautiful,â your father complimented as you descended the stairs. He looked at your mother and gave her a slight glare when she hadnât said anything to you. Your mother honestly didnât like the way you looked at all and didnât feel like she should have lied to you, so she just directed her attention to Lilith like always.
âY/n, doesnât your sister look beautiful?â You felt your heart break at hearing those words. How could she say that? Your sister did look beautiful but didnât you as well? Why were you always second to her? Why did it always feel like it wouldnât have mattered if you were there or not? Sure, your father cared for you like a parent should have, but it almost felt like he was only behaving that way because he felt bad for you. At least, that was what you were telling yourself.
âYou do look beautiful, Lilith,â you practically whispered, staring down at the floor. You found it hard to maintain eye contact so you always settled for something else, whether it was the floor or the wall. Just as long as it wasnât other peopleâs eyes, it was safe.
âThank you, y/n,â she nodded. âI suppose you look beautiful too.â Her tone sounded annoyed, almost as if she was forcing herself to say the words. You almost wished she had said nothing, but Lilith always found an excuse to speak, no matter what came out of her mouth. You were convinced that she just loved hearing her own voice.
You said nothing and turned on your heel, keeping your eyes on your feet at you did so. You wiped a tear that had fallen down your cheek and headed towards the carriage that had been waiting for you and your family. You got inside and moved closer to the window, covering your face with your hand so no one could see you crying. Your mother and Lilith would have just told you that you were being dramatic and your father would baby you and you werenât in the mood for either of those things. You just wanted to get the night over with so you could go to your room and paint. That was the only way you were able to deal with your feelings. You surely couldnât take them out on your family, so you had to deal with them in healthy way and painting was the only thing that seemed to relax you.
The carriage door opened once again and your father slipped inside, taking the seat next to you. He silently wrapped his arm around you and you rested your head on his shoulder, suddenly having a flashback to crying into that very spot when your mother had said something you hadnât particularly liked. He was always there when you needed him, the only person in that damn family that even bothered to understand you. He rubbed up and down your arm and you sniffled, holding back the tears that were threatening to spill.
âIâm sorry,â was all he said. That was all he always said when the cycle would repeat itself and even though it was nice that he was making an effort to make you feel better, you didnât appreciate that he never stood up to your mother or your sister even. He didnât defend them, but he definitely didnât put a stop to their behavior either. Because to his core, your father was nothing but a coward. Heâd rather just comfort you in secret instead of actually doing something useful. His words were becoming pointless and you were beginning to not believe them anymore. After all, they were only said to stop your tears, not because they had any actual meaning.
âItâs okay,â you nodded, leaning up to look up at him. The look on his face seemed apologetic at first glance, but you knew it was nothing but fake. Just a way to stop the waterworks so you could all be a âhappyâ family again.
Your mother and Lilith sat on the other side of the carriage and it rolled onto the path to take you all to the ball. The silence between the four of you was deafening and despite you looking out the window, you could feel your motherâs eyes on you. You could tell she was glaring at you, but you honestly couldnât have cared less. She could be mad at you all she wanted, it was always going to be because you were just being yourself and not an exact replica of her like your sister was. You had tried so hard to be like her, but eventually you got tired of it and your mother couldnât stand having a daughter that liked things that she didnât. God forbid you had your own interests.
You swore that she was going to make a snide comment, but she kept quiet. You kind of preferred her speaking over the quiet, because at least then, youâd have something to focus on so all of your thoughts in your brain would mute a little bit. Anytime there was any silence or when you were alone, all of your anxieties would amplify to the point where you could barely think. You always needed some sort of distraction to keep you sane.
The four of you planted your fakest smiles onto your faces and entered the ball that Lady Bridgerton happened to be hosting, trying your best to look like you hadnât just had the most tense carriage ride in history. That was all going to be left behind and you all had to act like you actually loved each other. Easier said than done.
You slowly distanced yourself from your family before placing yourself by the nearest wall. You definitely werenât going to speak to any suitors and most definitely werenât going to dance with any of them either. That was all Lilith. You were sure she was going to end up engaged by the end of the night and youâd be alone just like always, but that was how you liked it.
âThat is a lovely dress.â You turned to your left to see the most beautiful woman you had ever laid your eyes on. She had lovely brown skin and her pink dress complimented it beautifully. Her hair was put up in an elegant updo and you hoped that someday, youâd look half as pretty as she did. You looked around to see who she was speaking to and realized that you were the only one around.
âMy apologies,â she smiled. âViscountess Bridgerton, but you can call me Kate. And who might you be?â Bridgerton? So that must have been Anthonyâs wife that Francesca had told you about in her letters when the two had tied the knot a few years ago. She was even more beautiful than she was described. You turned back to the woman in front of you and remembered that she had asked you a question. What was it? Oh right, your name. What was that again?
âIâm y/n,â you told her as your eyes moved to decorations that were on the wall a few feet behind her. Kate nodded, a smile on her face, thinking that you were nothing but adorable and found that you reminded her of her little sister, Edwina. And because of that, she felt the need to help you out. To protect you. She didnât know you, but she wanted to help you find the perfect match.
âItâs lovely to meet you, Miss y/n,â she smiled wide and for whatever reason, it made you feel better. For once, talking to someone didnât feel like a chore and it seemed like Kate was genuinely interested in having a conversation with you and not doing it just because she had to. She could see the anxiety and nervousness in your eyes and just wanted to help you out, to let you know that you had a friend. Someone who would make you feel less alone.
âYou too,â you nodded and she gestured to the refreshment table with her hand.
âWould you like to get a drink?â All you could do was nod and she led you in that direction, greeting people on her way as she did so. Kate carried herself with such confidence that you were mesmerized by. You had confidence, but not in that way. You could have never just walked up to a stranger like she did and introduced yourself. That was a terrifying thought to you and the way she did it without a second thought was fascinating.
Kate grabbed a cup filled with lemonade and handed it to you before taking one for herself. You took a sip then looked around the room, your eyes catching on a familiar face. The gentleman made his way over to you, a wide smile on his face as he engulfed you in a hug.
âI see youâve met the troublemaker,â Anthony winked at you and you felt yourself blush. It was a nickname the boys had created for you since you had been anything but a troublemaker. They just always liked to tease you as if they were your own brothers.
âOh, have I?â Kate let out a laugh as Anthony draped an arm over her shoulder. They seemed to be just as in love as Francesca had said.
âItâs what we used to call her when she was little because sheâs the exact opposite of trouble.â He was laughing a little too hard and your cheeks were flushing in embarrassment. Kate nudged Anthony once she caught sight of the embarrassed look in your face.
Looking at Anthony, all of the memories you had of him came flooding back. He was always there for you when you got hurt, acting as an honorary big brother when something went wrong. You honestly missed him and hated that you had been from him and his family for so long.
Benedict stood by the entrance of the building with his mother, Violet. He honestly had no interest in being there, but he couldnât say no to his mother. Other than Gregory, he was the only Bridgerton son who hadnât been married and even though he had expressed no interest in it, he still wanted to keep his mother happy by attending the balls.
If he had it his way, heâd be at the studio with one of the women he had been sleeping with or working on his piece for the gallery that was supposed to happen in a few weeks. He had barely even started it and probably would have been at least halfway through it if he hadnât agreed to come to the ball that night That was his priority at the moment, not finding a wife like his mother had so desperately wanted him to do.
He locked eyes on you talking with Kate and Anthony and figured that you must have been one of the new debutants since he hadnât seen you before. At least, he didnât think he had. He would have remembered a beautiful woman like you. His brother seemed to be talking you like you were old friends so he wondered just who you were.
âWhy donât you ask her to dance?â Violet leaned over to him as she noticed Benedict watching you. Had he been staring? He swore he had only just glanced.
âMother-â He agreed to showing up, but he never said anything about dancing. He just liked to observe. And he wanted to observe you.
âBenedict.â Her voice was filled with warning and even at his age, he was still kind of afraid to disappoint her, even though he had done that enough already. He couldnât do it again.
âAlright,â he sighed. âIâll dance with her.â He turned to his smiling mother then made his way towards you, putting on his signature smile that always made women fall to his feet. He absolutely loved seeing the way they would do whatever he asked as soon as he gave them a flash of his teeth. He wondered if you would do the same.
The conversation halted as Benedict stood behind you. You turned around and your eyes widened as you caught sight of the man. He looked familiar, but you couldnât put your finger on it. You wondered what he wanted from you and began to fiddle with your necklace again, assuming that he was possibly going to ask you to dance. You were going to say no, of course. You couldnât dance with anyone. You would just look weird and awkward and be too aware of your movements. You honestly werenât even sure if you knew the correct steps.
âBenedict,â Anthony greeted his brother. That was Benedict? You supposed it made sense since you hadnât seen him in eight years. He had gotten so much taller than you now, the top of your head coming to his chin. And he was attractive. Much more so than you remembered.
âAnthony, Kate,â he nodded in their direction then averted his gaze to you, a smirk kicking up at the corner of his lips. Anthony knew exactly what his brother was doing. He could see the flirty look in his eyes and was going to shut whatever was going on down as soon as possible.
He had seen to many women hurt by Benedict and he wasnât going to let you be one of them. Anthony didnât know you, but what he did know was that you were definitely out of his league. You were sweet and kind and Benedict was nothing but a jackass. Anthony wasnât going to let your heart get broken by his stupid brother who never seemed to be able to keep his dick in his pants.
âAnd you are?â He didnât remember you? You supposed that eight years was enough time to forget about someone, but you honestly thought he would have remembered you just like Anthony had. And you had spent much more time with Benedict when you were children so you didnât know why the memories of your werenât clicking in his brain.
âBenedict, this is y/n,â Anthony reminded him as if it was something that Benedict should have known, but that name was not ringing any bells whatsoever.
âItâs nice to meet you, Miss y/n,â he greeted, his tone more professional but still a little flirty. âWould you like to dance?â He held his hand out to you and you stared at it, knowing that if you didnât, your mother would find out and give you a lecture, but if you did, all of three steps would mix together in your head and youâd fall flat on the floor and everyone would laugh at you.
You nodded and hesitantly put your hand in his, letting him lead you out onto the floor, looking back to Kate and Anthony, hoping that they would save you, but they just gave you warm smiles as you got further and further away from him.
Benedict stopped to the far left of the floor and rested a hand on your shoulder blade while the other took your hand. You turned your head to the side, looking around the room and he looked down at you, realizing that you had no idea what you were doing and decided that he was going to have to teach you how to do the dance.
He took your other hand and placed it on his shoulder, giving you a reassuring smile even though you werenât paying attention. You were still looking around the room, nervousness obvious in your eyes. Werenât you just a shy, little thing. He could have taught you so many things, but tonight, heâd stick with the waltz.
He leaned down so his lips were right by your ear and your breath hitched at his closeness. His hot breath on your skin as he whispered to you. No man had ever been that close to you and it was making you nervous.
âJust follow my lead, Iâve got you.â He leaned back up and watched you turn your face back to him, giving him a small nod. He smiled down at you as the dance began. You moved around the floor, Benedict taking the lead, looking down at you to make sure that you were okay as he did so. All he was focused on was you. It was as if nothing else in the room mattered and he had no idea why he was so captivated by you.
He didnât know why you were so nervous. You were a natural when it came to the waltz. And he liked watching you move along with him, seeing your dress move back and forth, wanting to run his hands up your thighs as he spread them apart, watching you come undone as he buried his head between them, licking and sucking as you grabbed onto his hair. And heâd make sure he could see your head being thrown back, hearing the delicious moans fall from your lips.
He wanted so badly to remove your dress so slowly, hearing you beg for him because he wasnât moving fast enough. Whining his name as he took off your under garments as slowly as possible, kissing every single inch of your body as he bent you over the nearest surface he could find, pounding into you as he told you what a good little slut you were.
You both continued to move around the room gracefully and you were avoiding his eye contact still, his hazel ones boring into you, a smirk kicking up at the corner of his lips as he watched you. Benedict knew heâd have to dance with you more than once to hopefully bring you out of his shell. Youâd definitely be a different person by the time he was done with you.
The dance finished and Benedict brought you back over to Anthony and Kate, not wanting your time together to end, but knowing that he had to dance with the other debutants to please Violet. He bowed before you and you gave him a curtesy as he bid you a goodbye.
âIt was a pleasure, Miss l/n,â he said once he stood back up.
âThe pleasure is all mine, Mr, Bridgerton,â you smiled shyly and the man swore he was going to melt. Benedict knew that you had meant the words in the most innocent sense, but his cock, definitely didnât. There was no hint of flirting in your tone, but he was going to pretend that there was. That the attraction wasnât one sided.
And you had to be attracted to him, right? He knew when a woman had fancied him, but for some reason, he couldnât get a read on you. You were going to be a tough one to crack. Heâd have to spend more time with you to figure you out.
Even after he had moved on to other debutants, his mind wouldnât leave you. He wanted to do the most filthiest things to you and knowing that you were most likely a virgin made it even more exciting. Knowing that you could have been his first sent a rush up his spine.
But he couldnât do that to you. He just couldnât. Considering how protective Anthony had been of you, Benedict wasnât looking to get killed, especially not over a woman. So, after he finished the dance, he left the ball, on the hunt for someone to hook up with since anything with you was definitely off the table.
You spent practically the entire night with Anthony and Kate and for the first time, you felt like you had real friends. They both seemed interested in what you had to say and didnât treat you like a child just because you were young. And they were respectful of your soft spoken voice, neither of them asking you to speak up or telling you that they couldnât hear you.
You entered your bedroom with a smile on your face and got ready for bed, thinking about the new friends you had made and that you actually had a good time at the ball despite not thinking that you would. You laid down thinking that maybe, just maybe youâd actually like it there.