Mare @munsonsmixtapes - Tumblr Blog

Come Back to Me

Dean Di Laurentis x fem!reader

summary: You and Dean are still reeling from the New Year’s party and he’s willing to do whatever he can to win you back.

word count: 3.7k+

cw: hurt/comfort, Dean has a panic attack, mention of both pregnancy and abortion

Dean lies in his bed, watching his ceiling fan spin and spin around. Well, what he can make out of it. He turned out the light but a little bit of the streetlight is peeking into his window. He's been in this position since he got home from the party and he can't get himself to move. Those two words replay over and over in his head and it's making him dizzy. He's still holding your pregnancy tests in his hand so he can't exactly convince himself that this was all a dream. God, he really wishes it was.

If he had any sense, he'd run over to your apartment right now and tell you how much he loves you and that he's going to stick by your side. But he's too much of a coward to do that, so he just lies there, continuing to beat himself up about the whole situation. It all replays in his head on a torturous, continuous loop as he stares into the darkness, occasionally checking his phone to see if you've texted him even though he knows damn well you haven't.

He stays like that until the sun comes up and then he has to get ready for practice. He only had a beer at the party but he feels so hungover, a horrible headache pounding in his head as he finally sits up. He kicks off his shoes and sets the tests on his desk before he heads down the hallway to the bathroom where he intends on taking a much needed shower.

He turns on the water as gets undressed, trying to figure out how the hell he's going to make it up to you but he highly doubts that he can. He's always been the kind of guy who never takes things too seriously and this was the one time he should have done the exact opposite. He really cares about you and now he went and fucked it all up because he's a goddamn idiot.

Truth be told, he's so embarrassed about the way he acted that he's very close to holing up in his room for the semester. He can't see you and he most certainly can't be a fucking dad-not now. He's only twenty-two for crying out loud. He thought he at least had some time after law school to settle down with a wife and have children and now it's all ruined.

Dean feels everything building up as the water rains down on his back and he lets out a frustrated scream, really hoping that no one is home to hear his breakdown. How the fuck could this have happened? He thought he was being careful, but apparently not. He doesn't get it, he used a condom every-holy shit.

He's suddenly remembering that one time you hooked up in the bathroom, this bathroom. You were both so drunk and so needy for each other that a condom wasn't even on either of your minds. He just wanted to know what you felt like without a barrier and now he's paying the price. This is what he gets for breaking his own rules and he can't believe he was so fucking careless.

He doesn't know why you're so different, though. Why you're the one he fell in love with. You're not like the other he's hooked up with and he latched onto that. Of course a lot of them read, but none of them have ever read to him to help him fall asleep. None of them have ever brought over his favorite whiskey before hooking up and none of them made him laugh the way you did. You'd have him cackling early into the morning when the two of you definitely should have been asleep.

"Fuck," he screams, pulling his hands down his face before putting some shampoo into his hand, taking some deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself down but it's not working. His heart is pounding in his chest as he hurries to finish his shower because now he feels like the walls are closing in on him, his chest is so tight that it feels difficult to breath. His head is spinning and he has to grab onto the wall so he doesn't fall as he turns off the water.

Pregnant.

A baby.

He's going to be a dad.

He's going to be a fucking dad.

All the words are swirling around in his head, making him dizzy as he reaches for a towel and gets out of the shower. He wraps the towel around his waist before gathering his clothes and opening the door. As he goes to head down the hallway, he sees someone who's definitely not one of his roommates but might as well be with how often she's here.

"Hannah?" She marches towards him, fire in her eyes as she does so. He's never seen her this angry before and is almost afraid of what she's capable of.

She and Allie stayed up all night with you as you cried in their arms, blaming yourself for what happened even though everyone knows that it's not your fault. When you told her what happened, she almost came over here to get out her anger. She at least expected him to be more sympathetic, not just stare like a deer in the headlights when you told him the truth.

"Oh, hey, asshole." He better start digging his grave because he's so dead right now.

"You heard."

"Yeah, I heard. Don't worry, I'm not here to beat you up. I'm just getting the book she let you borrow."

"I haven’t finished it." That's met with a glare and he just puts his hands up in defense. "It's on my desk." She pushes past him and heads into his room, making a beeline for his desk where your copy of Little Women sits and she grabs it before storming out, making sure to shoulder check him when she passes again.

"I thought you were better than this. We both know that you're not the kind of guy who does this sort of thing so what the hell happened?" Hannah likes to think that she knows Dean very well-that there's more to him than just sleeping around. He's smart and sensitive and all she wants is for him to be happy. Whatever the hell happened last night was not him.

"I don't know, I panicked! I froze and now she fucking hates me." And that fact has haunted him since you left the bathroom. He can't get the heartbroken look you gave him out of his head. You looked so hurt and disappointed and you had every right to be. And he thinks he deserved way more than just a look. If he had been in your shoes, he would have thrown a punch.

"Rightfully so. You know, you're lucky I'm here and not Allie. She would have kicked your ass. I think she still might."

"I know," he nods, nothing but fear in his eyes as he thinks about how truly scary her best friend can be. "What do I do?"

"That's for you to figure out, but I'd suggest apologizing first. You're a good guy, Dean. you just need to show her that." Her hand gives his shoulder a sympathetic squeeze accompanied by a small smile.

"Thanks, Hannah." His smile matches hers and he goes to step into his room, stopping when she speaks again.

"Beth dies, by the way," she says, an evil smirk playing on her lips. "And Laurie marries Amy." Dean just shakes his head and finally goes into his room to get dressed before he's late, thinking that maybe he does have a chance to fix this.

Malone's is busy when you clock in for your morning shift. You're planning on throwing yourself into work and forgetting all about how you could see Dean at any moment. You're still reeling from last night, letting it all replay in your head over and over. You feel so stupid for telling him the truth like that, but you just couldn't hide it anymore. You felt like he had every right to know but clearly he couldn't give less of a shit so that was your bad.

You honestly don't know why you expected any different. Maybe because all of those late nights of staying up late laughing and talking about everything and nothing but they clearly didn't mean as much to him as they did for you. You knew what this was and were stupid enough to fall for someone who you know doesn't have girlfriends.

What, did you really think that he'd drop everything to be with you after you told him the truth? If anything, this was a reality check that you clearly very much needed. You were so nervous to tell him the truth and you think that you subconsciously knew that he would respond this way.

You start a new pot of coffee since it's already out and force yourself to go out onto the floor to take care of your section. You're moving on and you don't care about Dean anymore. Well, that's not entirely true, but you're definitely moving on. You're afraid that he'll get on his knees and beg and that you'll fold. You do think that maybe you'd forgive him but how the hell can you possibly let him into your child's life if that's how he reacts to you being pregnant?

You're taking an older couple's order when Dean enters. Your back is to him but there's no doubt that it's you. He doesn't even have time to approach you because Allie has intercepted, standing right in front him. She can't believe he has the nerve to show his face around here and fully intends on telling him as such.

"Sorry," she says, pressing her hand against his chest to stop him. "No Deans allowed."

"Allie what-" Before he can finish his sentence, she points to a ‘We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone’ sign with a smug smirk on her face. "You get to hurt my friend and expect to get away with it. Now run along."

She might be angrier than you about the whole thing. She was wary when you told her that you were hooking up with Dean because she knows how easy it is for you to fall for people. She knew what would happen and she feels like this is all her fault because she didn't warn you, just letting you go along with because you're an adult and can make your own decisions. Maybe if she had put a stop to it, none of this would have happened.

"I just want to talk to her." A little late for that, she thinks.

"Yeah, not happening. You've already done enough. Now get out of here before I make you." He know that that's a threat, not a promise so he turns on his heel and heads back outside to his car. Once he gets in it, he stays there for a moment, watching you through the window, not fully accepting that this is the only way he'll be able to see you. He's going to just have to try harder and he's okay with that.

You and Dean go through your days that seem to pass by in a blur. You're both on autopilot but you're playing off that you're fine much better than he is. He's a fucking wreck according to Garrett and you're not looking forward to potentially running into him on campus.

You're not worried, though. You refuse to let some loser get you down and you're going to take care of yourself. You cut your hair and bought some new clothes and it's like you're a completely different person. You feel more confident, completely unbothered. Dean Di Laurentis in the past and now you're focused on your career-the entire reason why you even transferred in the first place.

You graduate next year and you need to stop fucking around-literally. You spent so many months thinking about and spending time with Dean when your classes have been much more important. Your grades never slipped but you need to take this more seriously if you actually want to be a journalist like you planned.

It's better this way. At least, that's what you're telling yourself to make it hurt less but it doesn't. You're sitting at your desk, working on a paper when you think about how much you miss Dean kissing the back of your neck or your shoulder to get you to come to bed. You miss the TV being on one of those dumb reality shows that he would claim to hate but be fully invested in. You just miss…him as much as you hate to admit it.

You keep trying to convince yourself that you're better off without him but are you? You wish he hadn't been so stupid and fucked it all up. Really, you wish you both hadn't been so reckless at that party and then you wouldn't be in this mess. On top of all of the shit with Dean, you still don't entirely know if you're going to keep the baby. The window to get an abortion is closing, but you're entirely not sure if you want one. You're not against it by any means, but there's something stopping you any time you think about making an appointment. You think you've made your decision but really don't want to think about the weight of it. You can't, not now.

"I think this has got to be the stupidest thing you've ever done," Garrett says as he closes his locker before adjusting his bag on his shoulder. "And that's saying something."

They've finished up yet another practice and Dean was stupid enough to ask his best friend for advice. Garrett doesn't mind giving all the answers unlike Hannah. It's been weeks and any time he tries to talk to you, he gets intercepted by either Allie or Hannah. They tell him that you need some space but how long is it going to take before he can fix his fuck up?

"You think I don't know that?" Dean asks as little too loudly as he slams his locker closed. "I'm asking for your advice here, not your opinion."

"I think you should just be honest with her, tell her how you really feel." He rolls his eyes because, obviously, but he's a little-a lot-nervous that he'll just do the same thing. He doesn't think that the script he's written will hold up when he sees you and he knows that there's a lot of riding on this to get it right.

"What if I just clam up again? I can't have her walk out on me a second time."

"What was going through your head when she gave you the news?"

"That I'm too young to be a dad?" That was clearly the wrong answer because it earns him a slap upside the head. Garrett has been really patient with him these past few weeks but he knows that he's just as angry as your friends. Garrett trusted him to take care of you and look how well that turned out.

"There you go. That's your problem." He doesn't know why he's having to spell this out for Dean when he already knows what he's done wrong. But he's been throwing a pity party for far too long and the two of you need to figure this shit out once and for all.

"What?"

"You were thinking about yourself and not how she feels. Imagine if the roles were reversed."

"I'd be pretty fuckin' pissed." He's already gone through all of this in his head, but hearing it from someone else really makes him think. You're much better than him because if the roles were reversed, he would have cussed you out and called you every name in the book for being such a coward. That's the biggest news you could have given him and just sitting there and being dismissive was such a dick move.

"Exactly my point."

"What do I do? Hannah and Allie won't even let me see her."

"Let's go there now." Garrett suggests as they exit the rink and Dean's eyes widen.

"What?" This wasn't how he wanted to do it but what could it hurt? He just wants to have you in his arms again, to finally tell you that he loves you.

"Oh, you got something better to do, like mope in your room? Nuh-uh, let's go." Garrett pulls out his keys and Dean follows him to the car reluctantly but he can't deny that he does feel like a weight has lifted from his shoulders as he thinks about finally makes amends. He's finally going to get the girl.

It's movie night with the girls but you're not even paying attention. They even agreed to watch your favorite movie (again) but you can't get yourself to focus. You told yourself that you're moving on and focusing on school, but Dean always somehow manages to worm his way back into your brain. When you got an A on the paper you pulled an all-nighter working on, the first thing you wanted to do was text him the good news.

You think you're at the point where you can forgive him for what he did. From the many times he's tried to apologize, you think it's clear that he regrets what he did. You understand that the girls are just trying to protect you, but you can do it yourself. You know what's best for you and you think that might be Dean. He may have made a stupid mistake but he's trying so hard to fix it. Considering how regretful he seems, you know that he'd never hurt you like that again. He'll be here for you no matter what and you know he wouldn't be stupid enough to do it again.

Dean's racing down the hall as soon as the elevator opens, Garrett trying his very best to catch up. He needs to do this before he chickens out and he's so anxious as he knocks on the door, Garrett appearing behind him, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

You panic when you hear the knock, immediately snapped out of your thoughts. You just know that it's him and you're honestly surprised that it took him this long to show up here but you're glad that he's taken the hint to respect your boundaries up until now. You think you're ready to face him, to have a conversation.

You almost fall to the floor as you get up from the couch, hurrying to the door and ripping it open. Sure enough, there he is, still as beautiful as ever even though it's clear he's lacking sleep. His eyes widen, a relieved look on his face as he takes you in, the t-shirt he let you keep after the first time you slept together hangs loosely on your body and he feels like you're trying to torture him even though you had no idea he was coming.

You move out of the way to let the boys in and you just stare at each other as you wait for the other to make a move. You have half a mind to tell him how badly he hurt you but know for a fact that he already knows so you just stay quiet, your mind swirling with everything you could possibly say.

The apartment is dead silent, the TV now paused and everyone is just waiting for something to happen. Tears well up in your eyes as he approaches you like he would a spooked animal. His footsteps are slow but sure as he gets closer, noticing that you're not backing away. He's surprised when you let him wipe your tears and cradle your face in his hands. He's so gentle like always and the touch makes you melt, your legs feeling like Jello.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, tears welling up in his own eyes. "So sorry."

You stare into each other's eyes, both unable to hold back your cries, completely unaware that Hannah, Allie, and Garrett have gone to Hannah's room to give the two of you some privacy.

"You really hurt me," you whisper back and his heart shatters at how much pain is in your voice.

"I know. I'm here to make it right…if you'll let me." He lets go of your face and slowly drops to his knees, burying his face in your stomach, whispering that he's sorry over and over. This feels like a manipulation tactic that other guys have pulled on you but you know that Dean would be stupid enough to make apologies that he didn't mean.

"Whatever you want, I'll do it. I just-I can't live like this anymore. I know I fucked up and you have every right to never want to see me again but I just wanted to let you know that I'm sorry." His chin presses against your stomach as his blue eyes bore into yours, nothing but apologetic and filled with regret.

"I forgive you," you reply and his eyes widen, like he's completely surprised by your words. "I-I love you, Dean." A huge grin breaks out onto his face as he stands, taking your face in his hands once again.

"I love you too," he replies as he pulls you into a kiss, this one filled with a type of passion neither of you have poured your other ones. It's one that's shared between lovers, which you suppose that that's what you are to each other now.

"Wait," you say as you pull away a little too soon for your liking. "We're getting ahead of ourselves." You grab hold of his hands and pull him to sit on the couch, watching his eyebrows furrow in confusion. "I want to keep it." There's a beat of silence before you speak again. "I should have told you this before I told you that I loved you, but-"

"I'm in," he cuts you off. "We're in this together, okay? I'm not going anywhere." You smile for the first time in weeks, pulling him in for another kiss, thinking that maybe, just maybe that this will all work out.

You can find the rest of the Deanverse here!

Hi! I’ve noticed the abundant messages asking for the next part— unfortunately, I am only one person and I can only work so fast. I also have other writing projects I want to work on while this ‘verse comes into fruition. The next part will be up when I’m able to get it up!

taglist: @thecraziestcrayon @bookluver14 @honeyvalval03 @fandom-princess-forevermore @yagurlannastasia @kmc1989 @fandomimagines17 @aemondspet @lexasaurs634 @gina238 @wordskeeper @scream4mami @20dillis @belle101200 @hallecarey1 @flyxfall @cloudyzip @bucky-endoftheline @noonenuts @caitsymichelle13 @rebeccasoutlook @baeeyar @prettylittlewrites @teenagesublimefan @sisterslytherinog @slut-4-rafey @mckeely24 @saltyfriendsaladbandit @dina2223 @tbslseven @spooky-librarian-ghost @silverwingxox @ahszoebns @itmekelpy

If you'd like to be added to this taglist as well as any of my others, feel free to fill out the form pinned on my blog! (I currently have my comments off because people have been asking to be tagged and the comments get buried in my notifications and I don’t want anyone to be left out! For 20+ only. Teens/ageless blogs will be blocked!)

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