ive got nothin'

Feeling my way through the darkness Guided by a beating heart I can’t tell where the journey will end But I know where to start They tell me I’m too young to understand They say I’m caught up in a dream Well life will pass me by If I don’t open up my eyes Well that’s fine by me So wake me up when it’s all over When I’m wiser and I’m older All this time I was finding myself And I didn’t know I was lost

[kolasihq]

*QUICK INFO_

You’ll never guess who I just saw around HISTORIC DISTRICT! They looked exactly like GAVIN LEATHERWOOD but I overheard them introduce themselves as JEREMY BALFOUR and say they were a 24 year old CIS-MALE that prefers HE/HIM pronouns. I think they’re a COLLEGE STUDENT who has been living in the city for 2 YEARS.

*HEAD CANONS_

(trigger warnings: alcoholism, smoking, drug abuse, addiction, rehab)

Jeremy grew up in a seven person household including himself. He had three brothers, one of which is his twin but they aren’t very close. The youngest of the bunch is his sister.

At thirteen, his parents filed for divorce when news came that their sister was not their father’s child. Hearing this sent Jeremy into a downward spiral because he had always been a momma’s boy and this was not a light he preferred to see her in.

In his troubles, Jeremy found comfort in parties and drugs. He picked up a wicked smoking habit along the way, which he still has yet to break. As a teen, he could be found in stranger’s front yards, completely blacked out with no idea what had happened the night before.

Quite quickly, Jeremy realized he was way in over his head. He could not go one hour without getting high or without a drink in his system. He looked ragged all of the time. It wasn’t until he was sixteen that his parents took notice of this, having been in their own bubble of issues.

Jeremy was sent to rehab where he spent fourteen months battling his addiction. It was there that he found his solace in poetry and writing, much like his mother.

Coming out of rehab was a harsh transition, there he was met with all of the troubles he had just put behind him. His friends wanted to party now more than ever and he was forced to cut most of them off completely. He had decided he was going to stay on the right path.

This wasn’t without it’s struggles though, he quickly found himself back to smoking cigarettes to cope when writing just wasn’t enough. This is a habit he hates about himself because it means he hasn’t cut ties with his whole past.

He’d gotten his GED at the age of twenty and decided that what he really needed was a fresh start. He began work as a bus-boy, saving up for three years to move to Vesta City where he’s currently enrolled to start his first year of college as an English major with a minor in psychology.

*PERSONALITY_

POSITIVE TRAITS: Loyal, Frugal, Enthusiastic

NEGATIVE TRAITS: Sensitive, Addictive-personality, Clumsy

*QUOTE_

“Better to fight and fall than to live without hope.”

[jeremyjjb]

chvndlcr​:

“Yeah, I’ve had a few of those.” Okay, so maybe he’d had more than a few rough nights. “You good, man?”

He nods once, offering a small smile. “Yeah, will be. Coffee’s sure to help, huh?” He chuckles softly as he brings the mug to his lips.

[jeremyjjb]

autumnhornburg​:

The change in his posture was a confidence boost for Autumn. Following his gesture, Autumn sat herself across from him with her legs crossed, leaning against the table. He looked like the last thing he wanted to do was have this conversation, but the last thing Autumn wanted was for her friend to be upset. “You got a habit of making girls cry, Jer?”

The man refrains from sighing softly, not wanting to seem even more like a dick than he already did and he shakes his head. “I don’t try to. No,” he answers truthfully, gaze falling to the mug between his palms.

[jeremyjjb]

gavin-grey​:

Gavin shrugged. Things were okay with Imani so far. It was Sophia he worried about most. They were still kind of awkward, doing a little dance around each other. Gavin hoped things would go back to normal soon enough though. “I think- I think we’ll be okay. I made a mistake. Even nice people make mistakes sometimes, right?” It’s what he’d been telling himself lately. It was an improvement to the crap he was giving himself at first. “It’s fine, I didn’t blame you. I was the bad guy in that moment. They would have just turned on you if you supported me.” Not because the girls were mean or hateful, but because tension had been high in that moment. “Wait, your own experience? What happened?”

Jer nods, offering the other a half-smile at his words. “That’s right, even nice people,” he chuckles softly. It was a relief to hear they’d all be doing just fine, he wasn’t sure what would happen after that night; a shame to think friendships would be lost forever. It’s something he had to be reminding himself as of late. “Yeah, I’m sure you’re right... Still, though. It was my idea, I feel like I’m partly responsible for how things turned out,” he shrugs although he had fully felt like he was responsible. At least until he spoke to the girls about it, and he realized that a chat with Gavin was long overdue. “Oh, uh... A lot apparently,” he chuckles humorlessly. “I think it’ll be okay though, in time... I just, got myself caught up in sort of the same situation as you did? With girls.”

[jeremyjjb]

harleyxhua​:

Harley was started to see someone reaching for the table, but then realized they were just trying to get his attention. He seemed nice enough, and Harley quickly pieced together what he was asking. “Sugar, right?” He questioned, but reached over and handed the pourer to the stranger. “Here you go.” 

Jer nods once the other realizes, giving a wide and polite smile in response. "Thank you," he replies, nodding once.

[jeremyjjb]

prestcnbvrke​:

“Yeah, sure! I could use some company anyway.” He shrugged, chuckling as he backed his wheelchair away from the table.

Jer nods once, feeling relief wash over him for a moment and chuckles. "Me too, man. Me too," he tells as he makes his stance to follow the other.

[jeremyjjb]

paigewhtkr​:

She couldn’t help but smirk a tiny bit, of course she was right - she usually was, in her mind. “Yeah, maybe. If you’ve got the time for it.”

"Well, technically no. School and all, but I suppose one class won't miss me much."

[jeremyjjb]

bash-stclair​:

“better. we’ll give you like a seven for that performance.” bash coughed before taking a sip of his coffee. “maybe one day i’ll let ya change it. today’s not that day.”

Jer cocks his head to the side with a small chuckle, a seven wasn't actually too bad in his opinion. "Fair enough. Fair enough," he chuckles softly with the nod of his head. "Next time then," he winks with a grin.

[jeremyjjb]

sophiacarlson​:

While she still really had no idea what she was feeling, what she did know was that she had no clue of what Wednesday had told Jeremy. And that she needed him to know that she had no idea about the other girl and that hurting his relationship with her had been the last thing on her mind. She opened her mouth to explain that when Jeremy chuckled before looking at her. Telling her it wasn’t her fault felt like a huge weight of the last week had been lifted. “That’s the thing though, you really didn’t owe me any sort of clarity.” At least not in her eyes. They hadn’t been dating and really the most clarity he probably could had offered her was who Wednesday was. And Sophia hadn’t been about to push that if he didn’t want to reveal a name. Unless he meant clarity about something else. And if that was true, was a coffee shop really the place to discuss this? When he looked like he had a ton on his mind and with her feelings being all over the place. When he apologized though she realized all she wanted to do was make sure he was OK. Take away his problem if possible “It’s fine, Jer. I just….want to make sure that your OK. That we’re ok.” she was already doing the whole awkward thing with Gavin, she refused to do that with Jeremy too, needing for them to be alright somehow. 

While he did disagree, he was relieved to hear as much. A small smile spreads across his lips to convey this, “well... I’m sorry anyway. It’s not exactly a position I wanted to be putting you in. I never imagined this would happen, she confronted me at the faire, you know? I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” he confesses with the shake of his head. It came as a surprise to him, even, that he revealed as much but he was tired. And desperate to make it clear that Soph was not just collateral, he cared how she was feeling. “I’m okay,” he sighs after a moment, offering her a small smile as he meets her gaze. “We’re okay,” he almost reaches out but stops himself, only to bring his mug to his lips instead. The last thing he wanted was to ruin the moment now.

[jeremyjjb]

korra--sandoval-aguilar​:

“Ah caffeine, the answer to modern day problems” Korra smiled, she wanted to ask more but didn’t want to pry. The female just handed two packets of sugar to Jeremy.

"That's right," he lets out an easy chuckle, taking the sugar packets to adjust his coffee. "Your day going any better?" He questions with a small smile.

[jeremyjjb]

livylawson​:

“Oh, it’s completely organized. When my brothers visit they think it’s creepy, they say it looks like my apartment is always on display and they’re scared to mess anything up. “

"Can you blame them? I probably wouldn't want to either, to be honest. It must be nice though, to have it come naturally."

[jeremyjjb]

bash-stclair​:

“oh, better. but instantly friend-zoning me? based on what i’m seeing, you got no game at all brother.”

“You’re right, my apologies,” the man chuckles softly. “Someday I might change your mind, if you allow.”

[jeremyjjb]

gwenniepalmer​:

Gwen returned the smile, be it a little forced. Pleasant conversations and small talk was never her strong suit. “I’m pretty sure we do,” she stated with a nod. “If you don’t mind me, like, stepping away to get it. Unless you’re gonna follow. Sometimes customers follow, regardless.”

He nods a couple of times as she speaks, zoning out every once in a while but able to catch himself. Soon, he’s shaking his head with a low chuckle. “Of course, thank you,” he offers, although he chooses to await her return.

[jeremyjjb]

salemhwang​:

       chocolate  hues  travel  over  to  the  source  of  the  voice  and  at  the  question  directed  to  him,  there’s  an  upward  curl  to  his  lips.  ❝  no,  but  i’m  often  told  i’m  sweet  enough.  will  that  do  ??  ❞  salem  quipped  back  just  to  be  a  little  shit.  he  paused  for  moment  before  grabbing  three  sugar  packets  and  offering  them  out.  ❝  you  look  like  shit,  dude.  pretty  sure  a  coffee  is  the  opposite  of  what  you  need  right  now  but  go  crazy  with  these.  ❞

Jer couldn’t help but to let loose an easy chuckle at the others words. Despite how tired he felt, he’d gone out of his way to make Jer laugh; it did make a difference. “I’m beginning to see why,” he tells as his chuckle fades and a smile remains. “Yeah, I know. Couldn’t sleep, though and figured I may as well get on with my day. You know?” He takes the sugar packets with a nod, adding them to his coffee carefully. “Thanks though,” he adds.

[jeremyjjb]

sophiacarlson​:

She refused to admit that it had actually been her first day out of the apartment in about a week, minus work and that her clothing of choice had been her pjs. “Hopefully not. I think it’ll go pretty quickly.” So small talk seemed to be on the cards for the day then. However when he mentioned getting out of his apartment, she had to wonder if he was doing the same thing. Concern for her friend taking over more then trying to get out of a conversation with him. “Are you ok?” She asked before shaking her head. Dumb question. If what she thought had happened then he was anything but ok. “Ignore that question. Look by now you probably know that Wednesday and I talked and I wanted to apologize for anything that she might have thought.” She explained hoping that he would at least take the apology. Needing to be good with Jeremy.

He nods a couple times and sips his coffee as she speaks, “good then.” He genuinely does hope it’ll go quick for her, that she’ll have a good day. Despite maybe seeing him, even, depending on how she’s feeling. Her question catches him offguard, although he knows it probably shouldn’t and he sets his mug back onto the table gently. Soph apologizing was the last thing he’d ever wanted, it wasn’t her fault he’d made foolish choices, said the wrong thing. A chuckle leaves him in a single breath as he looks to meet her gaze, shaking his head once. “You have nothing to apologize for,” he tells her truthfully. “I didn’t exactly give either of you much clarity,” he admits, even though it’s hard to say. He swallows hard, eyes falling to his coffee. He truly didn’t want to ruin her day, say the wrong thing to her, of all people. He could handle disagreements and loss from other people, not so much when it’s one of his best friends. “I’m sorry, Soph. That you had to be dragged into all of this, it’s not fair to you. Especially after what you just went through,” he finally manages after a moment, gaze looking to show her just how much he meant it.

[jeremyjjb]

imanidarbandi​:

     Looking up from her sketch she gave a sweet smile to the familiar face. “C’mon Jer Jackson, we both know I am the sugar.” She teased, picking up the a few packets and gathering her things to sit across from him. “How’ve you been?”

Seeing that it was Imani sitting before him gave him a sort of relief. Her cheerful attitude somehow lifting his spirits some, despite his lack of sleep. "That's true. Very true," he chuckles as she moves. "Alright, I suppose. How have you been?" He asks with raised brows, genuinely curious. He hadn't seen his friend since the faire, it would be nice to take his mind off things once again by catching up.

[jeremyjjb]

prestcnbvrke​:

“That reminds me. I actually need to get some more groceries too.” He rubbed his face. “Oh, me? Ehhhh,  I was just gonna go home after this.”

"If you wanna go together?" He offers with a grin, liking the idea of going with someone over going alone much more. "Nothing wrong with that," he chuckles softly.